The Joe Schmo Show Quotes
Ashleigh Rivera: I like to receive attention like other people do. Especially when they get headshots from other people. And don't play the sumo game like some people I know who didn't today because they want to talk to the host all day long. So I guess it's better to receive.
TV Show: The Joe Schmo Show
Bryce 'The Stalker': [regarding Everett the frog] You killed him by giving him a donut?
Cammy 'The Moron': It was a maple bar. I love maple bars.
Cammy 'The Moron': It was a maple bar. I love maple bars.
TV Show: The Joe Schmo Show
Ralph Garman: Come here, come here. Come here, come here. There's something we've been meaning to tell you.
Matt Kennedy Gould: What's that?
Ralph Garman: The only real thing on this reality show... is you.
Matt Kennedy Gould: [embarassed] Oh, my God! [Lance cheers]
Ralph Garman: But that's not... that's not completely true, that's not completely true. Because the prizes are also real as well. And in fact, they're all yours. [The actors all cheer and applaud]
Matt Kennedy Gould: [excited] I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! I CAN'T! I...
Ralph Garman: Remember... Matt? Remember the spa vacation you gave to Dr. Pat?
Matt Kennedy Gould: Yes.
Ralph Garman: That's yours. Remember the trip to Tahiti that you thought you didn't win?
Matt Kennedy Gould: Yes.
Ralph Garman: That's yours.
Matt Kennedy Gould: [laughing] What?
Ralph Garman: The flat screen TV? Yours. But finally... and certainly not least... this check... made out to you for $100,000... is yours! [Everyone cheers and applauds as Ralph hands Matt a giant check for $100,000]
Matt Kennedy Gould: [triumphantly] OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! I CAN'T... I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!
Ralph Garman: Matt, I think we owe you an explanation. Matt, everything... everything you experienced in this house from your housemates, to the game results, to the eviction votes... it was all very carefully planned and brought to life by these amazing ten actors and hundreds of very hardworking people. All for you. It was all for you, buddy. [everyone cheers wildly]
Matt Kennedy Gould: Wait,
Matt Kennedy Gould: What's that?
Ralph Garman: The only real thing on this reality show... is you.
Matt Kennedy Gould: [embarassed] Oh, my God! [Lance cheers]
Ralph Garman: But that's not... that's not completely true, that's not completely true. Because the prizes are also real as well. And in fact, they're all yours. [The actors all cheer and applaud]
Matt Kennedy Gould: [excited] I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! I CAN'T! I...
Ralph Garman: Remember... Matt? Remember the spa vacation you gave to Dr. Pat?
Matt Kennedy Gould: Yes.
Ralph Garman: That's yours. Remember the trip to Tahiti that you thought you didn't win?
Matt Kennedy Gould: Yes.
Ralph Garman: That's yours.
Matt Kennedy Gould: [laughing] What?
Ralph Garman: The flat screen TV? Yours. But finally... and certainly not least... this check... made out to you for $100,000... is yours! [Everyone cheers and applauds as Ralph hands Matt a giant check for $100,000]
Matt Kennedy Gould: [triumphantly] OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! I CAN'T... I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!
Ralph Garman: Matt, I think we owe you an explanation. Matt, everything... everything you experienced in this house from your housemates, to the game results, to the eviction votes... it was all very carefully planned and brought to life by these amazing ten actors and hundreds of very hardworking people. All for you. It was all for you, buddy. [everyone cheers wildly]
Matt Kennedy Gould: Wait,
TV Show: The Joe Schmo Show
[Somebody is about to be evicted]
Ralph Garman: One of you is about to say goodbye to high society, and return to your sad existence of working for the man.
Ralph Garman: One of you is about to say goodbye to high society, and return to your sad existence of working for the man.
TV Show: The Joe Schmo Show