The King of Kings Quotes
Hank: Bobby, promise me you won't do drugs. Promise me.
Bobby Hill: I promise.
Hank: Promises mean nothing.
Bobby Hill: Look, dad, I'm not gonna do drugs. I want to be the first chubby comedian to live past 35.
Bobby Hill: I promise.
Hank: Promises mean nothing.
Bobby Hill: Look, dad, I'm not gonna do drugs. I want to be the first chubby comedian to live past 35.
Movie: The King of Kings
Hank: I'm gonna kick your ass.
Dale Gribble: You wouldn't hit an unconscious maaaa-
[faints]
Dale Gribble: You wouldn't hit an unconscious maaaa-
[faints]
Movie: The King of Kings
[discussing a rug with pictographs embroidered on it]
Prof. Carver: What is your theory, Tom?
Tom Judson [Ch. 1]: Well, buried treasure. I still think that's kind of a plot to tell us how to find it.
Prof. Carver: Preposterous.
Tom Judson [Ch. 1]: Whatever that means. See, the trouble with you archeologists is you have too much education and not enough common horse sense.
Prof. Carver: What is your theory, Tom?
Tom Judson [Ch. 1]: Well, buried treasure. I still think that's kind of a plot to tell us how to find it.
Prof. Carver: Preposterous.
Tom Judson [Ch. 1]: Whatever that means. See, the trouble with you archeologists is you have too much education and not enough common horse sense.
Movie: The King of Kings
[Doug and Carrie are arguing about their parents]
Carrie Spooner Heffernan: Don't you bring my father into this!
Doug Heffernan: He's out of his mind! He cancelled our cable, because the cable company wouldn't pay him each time they ran the movie Arthur!
Carrie Spooner Heffernan: Don't you bring my father into this!
Doug Heffernan: He's out of his mind! He cancelled our cable, because the cable company wouldn't pay him each time they ran the movie Arthur!
Movie: The King of Kings
[In an admiral's club]
Hostess: I'm sorry, sir, there's no smoking allowed in here.
Dale: You're not sorry and I'm no admiral.
[Stuffs peanuts in his pockets and leaves]
Hostess: I'm sorry, sir, there's no smoking allowed in here.
Dale: You're not sorry and I'm no admiral.
[Stuffs peanuts in his pockets and leaves]
Movie: The King of Kings
[Luanne's roommate refuses to pay his rent and ripped off Hank and Cotton]
Cotton Hill: I'm makin' a citizen's arrest.
Luanne's Roommate: Get your hands off of me, you Nazi.
Cotton Hill: [screams] WHO YOU CALLIN' NAZI, BOY?
Cotton Hill: I'm makin' a citizen's arrest.
Luanne's Roommate: Get your hands off of me, you Nazi.
Cotton Hill: [screams] WHO YOU CALLIN' NAZI, BOY?
Movie: The King of Kings
[In an admiral's club]
Hostess: I'm sorry, sir, there's no smoking allowed in here.
Dale: You're not sorry and I'm no admiral.
[Stuffs peanuts in his pockets and leaves]
Hostess: I'm sorry, sir, there's no smoking allowed in here.
Dale: You're not sorry and I'm no admiral.
[Stuffs peanuts in his pockets and leaves]
Movie: The King of Kings
[last lines]
Linda Merritt: I wish you didn't have to go, Dave.
Sergeant Dave King: Orders are orders. Tom obeyed his - that's why the King presented him with the Victoria Cross. You must be awfully proud of him.
Linda Merritt: I am. I don't even think of him as dead. I'll always see him as he used to ride - happy, free, proud of the uniform he wore - proud to serve Canada. I'll ses him riding like that as long as I live.
Linda Merritt: I wish you didn't have to go, Dave.
Sergeant Dave King: Orders are orders. Tom obeyed his - that's why the King presented him with the Victoria Cross. You must be awfully proud of him.
Linda Merritt: I am. I don't even think of him as dead. I'll always see him as he used to ride - happy, free, proud of the uniform he wore - proud to serve Canada. I'll ses him riding like that as long as I live.
Movie: The King of Kings
Arthur Spooner: It seems to have reached optimal temperature. Now hit me with a load of Dougie batter.
Doug Heffernan: Let's see how the waffles go and see what happens.
Doug Heffernan: Let's see how the waffles go and see what happens.
Movie: The King of Kings
Arthur Spooner: You gotta hand it to those Japanese, though, clever people. Still a mystery to me how we ever got them to surrender in the Second World War.
Carrie Spooner Heffernan: Well, we did annihilate two of their cities.
Arthur Spooner: True enough. Mystery solved.
Carrie Spooner Heffernan: Well, we did annihilate two of their cities.
Arthur Spooner: True enough. Mystery solved.
Movie: The King of Kings
Carl Denham: [while filming Jimmy fighting off the dinosaurs] Defend yourself um Billy, no uh boy go on hit 'em
Movie: The King of Kings
Carrie Spooner Heffernan: Did you lift your shirt and *make* them touch your belly hair?
Movie: The King of Kings
Cedric the Entertainer: Never in history did you hear about 17 or 18 of us gettin' killed nowhere altoghether. 'Cuz we run. We run when somebody else runs. We don't ask no questions why we runnin', we just get our ass up and start damn running.
Movie: The King of Kings
Dale Gribble: This is no time for jokes, Boomhauer. This tornado's already classified level at 2 on the Fujisaki scale. Storm that strong'll send an egg through a barn door. Two barn doors if one of 'em's open.
Bobby Hill: What will a level three do, Mr. Gribble?
Dale Gribble: Level three will send an egg through a *brick wall*. Tornado chasers call it "Humpty's Revenge".
Bobby Hill: What will a level three do, Mr. Gribble?
Dale Gribble: Level three will send an egg through a *brick wall*. Tornado chasers call it "Humpty's Revenge".
Movie: The King of Kings
Dale Gribble: This tornado's already at level two on the Fujisaki scale. A storm that strong can send an egg through a barn door. Two if one door is open.
Bobby Hill: What does a level three do, Mr. Gribble?
Dale Gribble: A level three can send an egg through a brick wall. Tornado chasers call it Humpty's Revenge.
Bobby Hill: What does a level three do, Mr. Gribble?
Dale Gribble: A level three can send an egg through a brick wall. Tornado chasers call it Humpty's Revenge.
Movie: The King of Kings
Dale: [after drinking tainted Alamo beer] I don't know which way it's coming out, but it's coming out.
Movie: The King of Kings
Dale: Hank, have you ever tried to change cockroach blood with root beer?
Hank: Dale, you know I haven't.
Dale: THEN DONT JUDGE ME.
Hank: Dale, you know I haven't.
Dale: THEN DONT JUDGE ME.
Movie: The King of Kings
Denethor: [to Faramir, about his loyalty] Ever you desire to appear lordly and gracious as a king of old. Boromir would have remembered his father's need. He would have brought me a kingly gift.
Faramir: Boromir would not have brought the Ring. He would have stretched out his hand to this thing, and taking it, he would have fallen.
Denethor: You know nothing of this matter!
Faramir: He would have kept it for his own! And when he returned, you would not have known your son.
Denethor: [jumping up angrily] Boromir was loyal to me! Not some wizard's pupil!
[Denethor cries and falls back into his chair; Faramir approaches him]
Faramir: Father?
[Denethor looks over Faramir's shoulder and smiles]
Denethor: My son!
[an image of Boromir appears behind Faramir. Boromir smiles and then the image fades. Denethor is left looking at Faramir. His mood shifts back to anger]
Denethor: Leave me!
[Faramir hesitates and departs]
Faramir: Boromir would not have brought the Ring. He would have stretched out his hand to this thing, and taking it, he would have fallen.
Denethor: You know nothing of this matter!
Faramir: He would have kept it for his own! And when he returned, you would not have known your son.
Denethor: [jumping up angrily] Boromir was loyal to me! Not some wizard's pupil!
[Denethor cries and falls back into his chair; Faramir approaches him]
Faramir: Father?
[Denethor looks over Faramir's shoulder and smiles]
Denethor: My son!
[an image of Boromir appears behind Faramir. Boromir smiles and then the image fades. Denethor is left looking at Faramir. His mood shifts back to anger]
Denethor: Leave me!
[Faramir hesitates and departs]
Movie: The King of Kings
Denethor: [to Faramir, about his loyalty] Ever you desire to appear lordly and gracious as a king of old. Boromir would have remembered his father's need. He would have brought me a kingly gift.
Faramir: Boromir would not have brought the Ring. He would have stretched out his hand to this thing, and taking it, he would have fallen.
Denethor: You know nothing of this matter!
Faramir: He would have kept it for his own! And when he returned, you would not have known your son.
Denethor: [jumping up angrily] Boromir was loyal to me! Not some wizard's pupil!
[Denethor cries and falls back into his chair; Faramir approaches him]
Faramir: Father?
[Denethor looks over Faramir's shoulder and smiles]
Denethor: My son!
[an image of Boromir appears behind Faramir. Boromir smiles and then the image fades. Denethor is left looking at Faramir. His mood shifts back to anger]
Denethor: Leave me!
[Faramir hesitates and departs]
Faramir: Boromir would not have brought the Ring. He would have stretched out his hand to this thing, and taking it, he would have fallen.
Denethor: You know nothing of this matter!
Faramir: He would have kept it for his own! And when he returned, you would not have known your son.
Denethor: [jumping up angrily] Boromir was loyal to me! Not some wizard's pupil!
[Denethor cries and falls back into his chair; Faramir approaches him]
Faramir: Father?
[Denethor looks over Faramir's shoulder and smiles]
Denethor: My son!
[an image of Boromir appears behind Faramir. Boromir smiles and then the image fades. Denethor is left looking at Faramir. His mood shifts back to anger]
Denethor: Leave me!
[Faramir hesitates and departs]
Movie: The King of Kings
Doug Heffernan: All right, I'm glad you're all gathered here. Because you're about to hear the story of a driver, a swollen ankle, and get this, an iguana.
Movie: The King of Kings
Doug Heffernan: I'm going to come up with something so romantic and heartfelt it's gonna make you feel like a piece of crap! A piece of crap!
Movie: The King of Kings
Eomer: Now is the hour! Riders of Rohan! Oaths you have taken, now fulfill them all, to lord and land!
Movie: The King of Kings
Gamling: He leaves because there is no hope.
Theoden: He leaves because he must.
Gamling: Too few have come. We cannot defeat the armies of Mordor.
Theoden: No. We cannot. But we will meet them in battle nonetheless.
Theoden: He leaves because he must.
Gamling: Too few have come. We cannot defeat the armies of Mordor.
Theoden: No. We cannot. But we will meet them in battle nonetheless.
Movie: The King of Kings
Gandalf: Authority is not given to you to deny the return of the king, *steward*.
Denethor: The rule of Gondor is mine! And no other's!
Denethor: The rule of Gondor is mine! And no other's!
Movie: The King of Kings