The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson Quotes


Craig Ferguson: I enjoy bathing, as many Europeans don't.

TV Show: The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson

Craig Ferguson: I KNOW that's not the right accent, but I can't DO the right accent. It's either the wrong accent or another Octomom joke.

TV Show: The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson

Craig Ferguson: I know what you're thinking: yet another late night talk show host accusing Neil Sedaka of being a war criminal.

TV Show: The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson

Craig Ferguson: I look forward to your letters [insert name or group]
Craig Ferguson: .

TV Show: The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson

Craig Ferguson: I only like sports that Bond villains played.

TV Show: The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson

Craig Ferguson: It's a great day for America, everybody! It's Monday, woo.

TV Show: The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson

Craig Ferguson: Ocean's 13 is all about cool people having a good time, and who doesn't want to see that? Well YOU, apparantly, 'cause you're watching me.

TV Show: The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson

Craig Ferguson: People sometimes say to me: "Craig, get out of my garden."

TV Show: The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson

Craig Ferguson: Self help books are pointless. Here's something for you... Men are from Mars, women are from Venus, and self help books are from Uranus.

TV Show: The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson

Craig Ferguson: That's not really wrestling. That's just throwing a snake.

TV Show: The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson

Craig Ferguson: Wait! Don't applaud my cheapness! I've got other crap I need help with!

TV Show: The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson

Craig Ferguson: We don't hate giraffes here, we just put them in their place.

TV Show: The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson

Craig Ferguson: Welcome back, my cheeky wee monkeys.

TV Show: The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson

Craig Ferguson: What we DO have is nothin' but time. Welcome to the "Shawshank Redemption" of late night!

TV Show: The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson

Craig Ferguson: You know, where I come from, an antique, to be called an antique, it has to be at least a hundred years old. That's a law: before you can call something an antique, it has to be a hundred years old. In L.A., something that's been around for a couple of weeks is an antique. It's true! People are like, "Look at this old-fashioned iPod. Look at this! It's the size of a man's hand! Ha ha ha ha. Back then-back then, people thought Mel Gibson was just acting crazy. It was a very different time."

TV Show: The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson