The Mentalist Quotes
Lisbon: You have good kids.
Jack Tanner: Yeah, I do.
Lisbon: You're all they have.
Jack Tanner: Yeah, I know.
Lisbon: Be good to them.
Jack Tanner: I am good to them.
Lisbon: My father was a good man, just like you are. And after my mother died... he was a self-pitying drunk, just like you are. He killed himself. Damn near killed me and my brothers too. Get some help. Your kids deserve it. So do you.
Jack Tanner: Yeah, I do.
Lisbon: You're all they have.
Jack Tanner: Yeah, I know.
Lisbon: Be good to them.
Jack Tanner: I am good to them.
Lisbon: My father was a good man, just like you are. And after my mother died... he was a self-pitying drunk, just like you are. He killed himself. Damn near killed me and my brothers too. Get some help. Your kids deserve it. So do you.
TV Show: The Mentalist
[After Jane was hit by Dane Kurtik]
Minelli: You couldn't just give Kurtik a stern talking to instead?
Lisbon: What about Christine Tanner, sir? If Kurtik was having sex with her, that gives him motive to kill.
Minelli: If! And that's a hunch. Based on rockabilly.
Lisbon: It's a Jane hunch, you keep him around for a reason.
Minelli: You couldn't just give Kurtik a stern talking to instead?
Lisbon: What about Christine Tanner, sir? If Kurtik was having sex with her, that gives him motive to kill.
Minelli: If! And that's a hunch. Based on rockabilly.
Lisbon: It's a Jane hunch, you keep him around for a reason.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Dane Kurtik: I never touched Christine Tanner.
Jane: Liar.
Dane Kurtik: Believe me, when I tell you that you just now made the worst mistake of your miserable little life.
Jane: Believe me, no matter how this turns out, I've made worse mistakes.
Jane: Liar.
Dane Kurtik: Believe me, when I tell you that you just now made the worst mistake of your miserable little life.
Jane: Believe me, no matter how this turns out, I've made worse mistakes.
TV Show: The Mentalist
[Lisbon and Jane are interviewing a suspect]
Jane: See, the thing is, Flip, Lisbon here is looking at you like you're a pork chop, because you fit the profile. Your life is in chaos, you're lonely, you're depressed, you're addicted to drugs and pornography and a little nuts, to be honest. You're exactly the kind of man that does terrible things to women. But I don't think you did this.
Jane: See, the thing is, Flip, Lisbon here is looking at you like you're a pork chop, because you fit the profile. Your life is in chaos, you're lonely, you're depressed, you're addicted to drugs and pornography and a little nuts, to be honest. You're exactly the kind of man that does terrible things to women. But I don't think you did this.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Rigsby: I look around, I don't see anyone here who could torture a man to death with pliers and a lit cigar.
Patrick: Picture them naked and ravenously hungry.
Grace: Ew!
Patrick: Picture them naked and ravenously hungry.
Grace: Ew!
TV Show: The Mentalist
Minelli: What were you thinking? Leaving this man alone at an event like that?
Lisbon: No excuses, I mistakenly treated him like a responsible adult.
Lisbon: No excuses, I mistakenly treated him like a responsible adult.
TV Show: The Mentalist
[Talking about seduction]
Rigsby: Okay, I'll bite. What's the basic principle?
Jane: Cost you a dollar.
Rigsby: For what?
Jane: So you'll pay attention.
[Rigsby gives Jane a dollar]
Jane: Love and affection.
Rigsby: What?
Jane: Love and affection.
Rigsby: Give me my dollar back.
Jane: When you're seducing someone, what are you offering them? Love and affection. Who doesn't want love and affection. It's simple.
Rigsby: Seriously, give me my dollar back.
Rigsby: Okay, I'll bite. What's the basic principle?
Jane: Cost you a dollar.
Rigsby: For what?
Jane: So you'll pay attention.
[Rigsby gives Jane a dollar]
Jane: Love and affection.
Rigsby: What?
Jane: Love and affection.
Rigsby: Give me my dollar back.
Jane: When you're seducing someone, what are you offering them? Love and affection. Who doesn't want love and affection. It's simple.
Rigsby: Seriously, give me my dollar back.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Rigsby: Seduction's not my strong point.
Jane: Seduction's easy once you know the basic principles. There's nothing to it.
Rigsby: Oh, really? Well, I don't see a crowd of women following you around.
Jane: Why would I want a crowd of women following me around?
Jane: Seduction's easy once you know the basic principles. There's nothing to it.
Rigsby: Oh, really? Well, I don't see a crowd of women following you around.
Jane: Why would I want a crowd of women following me around?
TV Show: The Mentalist
[Talking about Jennifer Sands]
Lisbon: You're not soft on her, are you?
Jane: No...maybe a little. We need to talk to the lawyer--
Lisbon: Bennett. We need to talk to him. You need to stay well away. Did you say maybe a little?
Jane: She's a gorgeous grieving widow. Of course maybe a little. [Lisbon stares at him] Don't worry, it's not gonna affect my work. I'm a law-enforcement professional. Jeez.
Lisbon: You're not soft on her, are you?
Jane: No...maybe a little. We need to talk to the lawyer--
Lisbon: Bennett. We need to talk to him. You need to stay well away. Did you say maybe a little?
Jane: She's a gorgeous grieving widow. Of course maybe a little. [Lisbon stares at him] Don't worry, it's not gonna affect my work. I'm a law-enforcement professional. Jeez.
TV Show: The Mentalist
[Talking about Grace]
Rigsby: I sent out the vibes. I got nothing back, okay? So I'm leaving her alone.
Jane: Vibes. Really? Vibes?
Cho: That's where he stares at the back of her neck for several hours. Women love that.
Rigsby: Oh, shut up, Cho!
Patrick Jane: You gotta go get her, man. You gotta seduce her.
Rigsby: I sent out the vibes. I got nothing back, okay? So I'm leaving her alone.
Jane: Vibes. Really? Vibes?
Cho: That's where he stares at the back of her neck for several hours. Women love that.
Rigsby: Oh, shut up, Cho!
Patrick Jane: You gotta go get her, man. You gotta seduce her.
TV Show: The Mentalist
[Investigating the crime scene]
Jane: [talking about Jason Sands] He's still here.
Det. Carla Mulvey: Not unless he's invisible. He's not, Agent Jane.
Lisbon: He's not an agent. He's a consultant.
Jane: No badge. No gun. [Whispering] They don't even give me dental.
Det. Carla Mulvey: Oh, yeah. You're the one they were telling me about, the psychic. Sorry, Gandalf. In our own bumbling way, we did look around pretty good. He's not here.
Jane: [talking about Jason Sands] He's still here.
Det. Carla Mulvey: Not unless he's invisible. He's not, Agent Jane.
Lisbon: He's not an agent. He's a consultant.
Jane: No badge. No gun. [Whispering] They don't even give me dental.
Det. Carla Mulvey: Oh, yeah. You're the one they were telling me about, the psychic. Sorry, Gandalf. In our own bumbling way, we did look around pretty good. He's not here.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Lisbon: Hey, can you believe he fell for that old cell-phone gag?
Patrick: Old cell-phone gag? I invented that right there and then. Rather brilliantly, I thought.
Lisbon: Oh, please. I've seen that done a dozen times.
Jane: What do you mean? Where?
Lisbon: On TV.
Jane: Oh, on TV. Well, anything can happen on TV. The question is, where have you seen that done in real life?
Patrick: Old cell-phone gag? I invented that right there and then. Rather brilliantly, I thought.
Lisbon: Oh, please. I've seen that done a dozen times.
Jane: What do you mean? Where?
Lisbon: On TV.
Jane: Oh, on TV. Well, anything can happen on TV. The question is, where have you seen that done in real life?
TV Show: The Mentalist
[Lisbon is on the phone with Jane and she has just realized that she's alone in a cabin with the killer]
Lisbon: Okay. Good. Listen, tell Rigsby, Teresa needs his help. [Jane gets her message and looks worried] Me? I'm at the Eagle Pine Lodge off Route 6.
Jane: Okay.
[Lisbon puts her phone in her pocket but doesn't hang up so Jane can still hear everything. She turns to face the killer and starts to reach for her weapon]
Lisbon: Kyle, let's stay calm and think this through.
Kyle: Think what through?
Lisbon: I really don't wanna shoot you, but I do have to take you into custody for killing Kara Palmer. What are we gonna do about that?
Lisbon: Okay. Good. Listen, tell Rigsby, Teresa needs his help. [Jane gets her message and looks worried] Me? I'm at the Eagle Pine Lodge off Route 6.
Jane: Okay.
[Lisbon puts her phone in her pocket but doesn't hang up so Jane can still hear everything. She turns to face the killer and starts to reach for her weapon]
Lisbon: Kyle, let's stay calm and think this through.
Kyle: Think what through?
Lisbon: I really don't wanna shoot you, but I do have to take you into custody for killing Kara Palmer. What are we gonna do about that?
TV Show: The Mentalist
Lisbon: [Answering her phone] Where the hell are you?
Jane: Nicole remembered everything. She can describe the suspect. We're looking for a tall, well-built man with brown hair and glasses. Mid-thirties.
Lisbon: That's it? That describes half the men in California.
Jane: Yeah, that's it. But at least we know it wasn't her that killed Kara. And it wasn't Rulon Farnes.
Lisbon: Nice work. For this you illegally abducted her from the sheriff's custody?
Jane: Yeah, I was gonna tell you about it, but seeing that it's illegal, best to keep you out of it so you have deniability.
Lisbon: How considerate of you.
Jane: Nicole remembered everything. She can describe the suspect. We're looking for a tall, well-built man with brown hair and glasses. Mid-thirties.
Lisbon: That's it? That describes half the men in California.
Jane: Yeah, that's it. But at least we know it wasn't her that killed Kara. And it wasn't Rulon Farnes.
Lisbon: Nice work. For this you illegally abducted her from the sheriff's custody?
Jane: Yeah, I was gonna tell you about it, but seeing that it's illegal, best to keep you out of it so you have deniability.
Lisbon: How considerate of you.
TV Show: The Mentalist
[Talking about a suspect]
Jane: Oh, let him go.
Lisbon: Let him go?
Cho: What for?
Rigsby: We had to fight to catch him.
Jane: Oh, you're such policemen. Yes, let him go.
Jane: Oh, let him go.
Lisbon: Let him go?
Cho: What for?
Rigsby: We had to fight to catch him.
Jane: Oh, you're such policemen. Yes, let him go.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Rulon Farnes: So I gotta pay for a little human contact now and then. Shoot me. It's not my fault I look like this.
Cho: It is actually. With a low-carb diet and exercise you could look very different.
Cho: It is actually. With a low-carb diet and exercise you could look very different.
TV Show: The Mentalist
[A girl has gone missing and Jane is addressing the people in the search party]
Jane: I want you to look at me, all of you. And listen closely. I'd like you to raise your hand above you heads like this. [He raises his hands and the others do the same] Both hands. You too, sheriff. And you, agent Lisbon. Please. [The sheriff and Lisbon both raise their hands, too] Good. Very good. One of you-- One of you here killed Kara Palmer and abducted Nicole Gilbert. I want that person to lower their right hand now. [Jane lowers his right hand but no one else does] Okay, okay. It usually gets a hit. Forget I even spoke.
Jane: I want you to look at me, all of you. And listen closely. I'd like you to raise your hand above you heads like this. [He raises his hands and the others do the same] Both hands. You too, sheriff. And you, agent Lisbon. Please. [The sheriff and Lisbon both raise their hands, too] Good. Very good. One of you-- One of you here killed Kara Palmer and abducted Nicole Gilbert. I want that person to lower their right hand now. [Jane lowers his right hand but no one else does] Okay, okay. It usually gets a hit. Forget I even spoke.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Jane: Tell me, of the men on this search party, which one would you guess is a violent sexual predator?
Sheriff Nelson: What kind of question is--
Jane: [Interrupting] Who's name just popped into your head? Someone's did. There's always someone.
Sheriff Nelson: This is your method? Asking people to guess who done it? Strange kind of detective work you guys do.
Sheriff Nelson: What kind of question is--
Jane: [Interrupting] Who's name just popped into your head? Someone's did. There's always someone.
Sheriff Nelson: This is your method? Asking people to guess who done it? Strange kind of detective work you guys do.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Lisbon: Bad karma doesn't have an expiration date.
Jane: Uh, actually it does. According to traditional Buddhist teachings. I'm counting on it.
Jane: Uh, actually it does. According to traditional Buddhist teachings. I'm counting on it.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Grace: I don't think it's right to bet on such things. That's a human being that just died!
Rigsby: No, it's okay. We're in Nevada. Here in California, yeah it'd be wrong. [Crosses over to Nevada side.] But here, Nevada. It's okay to gamble on body parts.
Rigsby: No, it's okay. We're in Nevada. Here in California, yeah it'd be wrong. [Crosses over to Nevada side.] But here, Nevada. It's okay to gamble on body parts.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Jane: Let's go. I got us a table booked at the best restaurant in town. Apparently they tell you the name of the cow your steak came from.
Grace: That's horrible.
Grace: That's horrible.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Jane: You guys are gonna be going over a punch of boring files now, I expect. So I think I'll work here, play a little, get the lay of the land. Give me a hundred bucks?
Lisbon: I don't think that's such a good idea.
Jane: Sure you do. I'll give it back to you double.
Lisbon: Look, here's a hundred, but you'll pay me back double, right?
Jane: Triple.
Lisbon: I don't think that's such a good idea.
Jane: Sure you do. I'll give it back to you double.
Lisbon: Look, here's a hundred, but you'll pay me back double, right?
Jane: Triple.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Matt Etienne: The Casino's on the Nevada side of the resort and offers full-service gaming. We recently spent ten million upgrading the facilities to improve the experience.
Jane: They use the same techniques in state-of-the-art animal husbandry to make cows and sheep feel more comfortable.
Matt Etienne: Really?
Jane: Dim lights, soft music, a maze of passages that lead you back to the pens, or in this case the slots.
Matt Etienne: Don't hold back. Speak your mind.
Jane: There's no clocks or windows anywhere, so there's no passage of time. Low priced alcohol is poured down you by attractive young women. Oxygen is pumped into the place to make you stay awake and the constant symphony of bells and sirens that make it seem like someone's winning all the time.
Matt Etienne: But someone is always winning. You see, our machines are carefully designed to let every gambler have a taste of victory. Just enough to keep them pumping their money into the machines and on to the table. So what's your point?
Jane: Oh, no point. I love it.
Jane: They use the same techniques in state-of-the-art animal husbandry to make cows and sheep feel more comfortable.
Matt Etienne: Really?
Jane: Dim lights, soft music, a maze of passages that lead you back to the pens, or in this case the slots.
Matt Etienne: Don't hold back. Speak your mind.
Jane: There's no clocks or windows anywhere, so there's no passage of time. Low priced alcohol is poured down you by attractive young women. Oxygen is pumped into the place to make you stay awake and the constant symphony of bells and sirens that make it seem like someone's winning all the time.
Matt Etienne: But someone is always winning. You see, our machines are carefully designed to let every gambler have a taste of victory. Just enough to keep them pumping their money into the machines and on to the table. So what's your point?
Jane: Oh, no point. I love it.
TV Show: The Mentalist
[A severed hand has been found on a road]
Rigsby: No. We're gonna be talking to the hand for a long while.
Jane: Why so glum? A case is a case.
Rigsby: We're in the middle of nowhere. Windy as all hell. I haven't eaten anything. Dismemberments are a bitch. Spend months assembling the victim, there's always a piece missing.
Jane: There's already plenty to work with right here.
Grace: It's a right hand with the number 43 on it.
Rigsby: No. We're gonna be talking to the hand for a long while.
Jane: Why so glum? A case is a case.
Rigsby: We're in the middle of nowhere. Windy as all hell. I haven't eaten anything. Dismemberments are a bitch. Spend months assembling the victim, there's always a piece missing.
Jane: There's already plenty to work with right here.
Grace: It's a right hand with the number 43 on it.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Jane: [To Jessica Meier] Your father died protecting you. So in the end he-- he was there for you.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Daniel: That last hand. How did you do that?
Jane: Oh, I cheated.
Daniel: But how?
Jane: Next time we play, I'll show you.
Jane: Oh, I cheated.
Daniel: But how?
Jane: Next time we play, I'll show you.
TV Show: The Mentalist
[Daniel has confessed to killing his father-in-law]
Lisbon: Did your wife have anything to do with this?
Daniel: No. No. She had nothing to do with this. And the idiot never suspected it was me. How's that for denial? How did you know it was me?
Jane: Well, when we first met, you were more concerned about the college football scores than you were your father-in-law's murder.
Daniel: So?
Jane: So when you're searching for a killer, the degenerate gambler in the room is a good person to look at.
Daniel: I'm not degenerate. I'm a professional. I'm just having a streak of bad luck.
Lisbon: Yes, you are.
Lisbon: Did your wife have anything to do with this?
Daniel: No. No. She had nothing to do with this. And the idiot never suspected it was me. How's that for denial? How did you know it was me?
Jane: Well, when we first met, you were more concerned about the college football scores than you were your father-in-law's murder.
Daniel: So?
Jane: So when you're searching for a killer, the degenerate gambler in the room is a good person to look at.
Daniel: I'm not degenerate. I'm a professional. I'm just having a streak of bad luck.
Lisbon: Yes, you are.
TV Show: The Mentalist
[Lisbon asked why he did not tell her about his hunch]
Jane: If I told you about every hunch, you would get very irritated.
Jane: If I told you about every hunch, you would get very irritated.
TV Show: The Mentalist