The Mentalist Quotes
Tommy: I was at the hospital, 'cause my appendix busted. You want to see my scar?
Lisbon: No. No, but I'm sure Mr. Jane would love to.
Lisbon: No. No, but I'm sure Mr. Jane would love to.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Maddy: What are you, a moron? My dad just died.
Jane: Yes. My condolences. It happens. You'll learn to live with it. Not for, uh, a while, but in the end, you will.
Maddy: Who are you?
Jane: My name's Patrick Jane. I'm the man that will find out who it was that killed your father and have him or her or them put in a prison cell if you'll talk to me.
Jane: Yes. My condolences. It happens. You'll learn to live with it. Not for, uh, a while, but in the end, you will.
Maddy: Who are you?
Jane: My name's Patrick Jane. I'm the man that will find out who it was that killed your father and have him or her or them put in a prison cell if you'll talk to me.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Jane: Now I have access to all your innermost thoughts.
Lisbon: Yeah, right.
Jane: I'm serious.
Lisbon: Okay. So what am I thinking right now?
Jane: You're thinking, I'm so glad Jane is joking around and he can't actually read my mind.
Lisbon: No. Well, actually, yes, but not for the reason you think.
Jane: What reason do I think?
Lisbon: Never you mind.
Rigsby: You're blushing.
Jane: You are blushing.
Lisbon: Yeah, right.
Jane: I'm serious.
Lisbon: Okay. So what am I thinking right now?
Jane: You're thinking, I'm so glad Jane is joking around and he can't actually read my mind.
Lisbon: No. Well, actually, yes, but not for the reason you think.
Jane: What reason do I think?
Lisbon: Never you mind.
Rigsby: You're blushing.
Jane: You are blushing.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Ben: Someone's framing me.
Cho: Somebody framed you for shooting at us, Mr. Machado? Because from where I stood, sure looked like it.
Ben: That was a misunderstanding. I didn't know who you guys were. I was defending myself.
Cho: Really? From whom?
Ben: From someone trying to kill me. Just like they killed Rich and tried to kill Trey.
Cho: And why would you be next on someone's "To Burn"-list?
Cho: Somebody framed you for shooting at us, Mr. Machado? Because from where I stood, sure looked like it.
Ben: That was a misunderstanding. I didn't know who you guys were. I was defending myself.
Cho: Really? From whom?
Ben: From someone trying to kill me. Just like they killed Rich and tried to kill Trey.
Cho: And why would you be next on someone's "To Burn"-list?
TV Show: The Mentalist
Cho: Hey, do you wanna go to work or do you wanna play nurse with King Tut?
Grace: Work. Definitely work.
Grace: Work. Definitely work.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Trey: Ben's our go-to guy in Marquesa.
Ben: He just means I'm the only real estate agent around here who takes his commission in fertilizer and chickens.
Ben: He just means I'm the only real estate agent around here who takes his commission in fertilizer and chickens.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Ben: I didn't know you guys were cops.
Cho: You thought we were selling magazine subscriptions?
Cho: You thought we were selling magazine subscriptions?
TV Show: The Mentalist
[Talking about Sophie Miller]
Lisbon: What if we take this case and it turns out she's guilty?
Jane: She didn't do it.
Lisbon: How do you know?
Jane: Because she told me she didn't. She wouldn't lie to me.
Lisbon: Why not?
Jane: Because she wouldn't.
Lisbon: Suppose she did.
Jane: Well, if shes is guilty, then we need to catch her and punish her, but she's not.
Lisbon: Jane, I know I said I wouldn't ask, but I'm asking. Who is this woman? What's the connection?
Jane: You don't wanna know.
Lisbon: What if we take this case and it turns out she's guilty?
Jane: She didn't do it.
Lisbon: How do you know?
Jane: Because she told me she didn't. She wouldn't lie to me.
Lisbon: Why not?
Jane: Because she wouldn't.
Lisbon: Suppose she did.
Jane: Well, if shes is guilty, then we need to catch her and punish her, but she's not.
Lisbon: Jane, I know I said I wouldn't ask, but I'm asking. Who is this woman? What's the connection?
Jane: You don't wanna know.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Jane: Yeah, I went through a rough patch. Did a little time in a hospital. Sophie helped me through that time.
Lisbon: It's not on your record.
Jane: No. Believe me, I...it's not easy to do. I know there's nothing shameful about having a breakdown, but I gotta confess, I am ashamed of it.
Lisbon: Thank you for being so honest with me.
Jane: Sorry I kept it from you.
Lisbon: It's not on your record.
Jane: No. Believe me, I...it's not easy to do. I know there's nothing shameful about having a breakdown, but I gotta confess, I am ashamed of it.
Lisbon: Thank you for being so honest with me.
Jane: Sorry I kept it from you.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Lisbon: Seriously, I've stuck my stupid neck out for you for the umpteenth time. I think I deserve the truth. Why is Sophie Miller so important to you?
Jane: She was my doctor.
Lisbon: She's a psychiatrist.
Jane: Yes. She was my psychiatrist.
Lisbon: But you hate psychiatrists. So you always say.
Jane: She was a good psychiatrist.
Lisbon: She must have been, if she managed to keep you in the room.
Jane: It was a locked room.
Lisbon: [pauses] Oh.
Jane: She was my doctor.
Lisbon: She's a psychiatrist.
Jane: Yes. She was my psychiatrist.
Lisbon: But you hate psychiatrists. So you always say.
Jane: She was a good psychiatrist.
Lisbon: She must have been, if she managed to keep you in the room.
Jane: It was a locked room.
Lisbon: [pauses] Oh.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Jane: You don't like the way I drive, you despise it.
Lisbon: You drive way too fast.
Jane: I drive just fast enough. You hate not being the one in control and yet you're willing to overcome your irrational fears to cheer me up. That's a beautiful thing, Lisbon. Thank you, I'd love to drive.
Lisbon: Never mind.
Lisbon: You drive way too fast.
Jane: I drive just fast enough. You hate not being the one in control and yet you're willing to overcome your irrational fears to cheer me up. That's a beautiful thing, Lisbon. Thank you, I'd love to drive.
Lisbon: Never mind.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Lisbon: Aw. Jane kissed a girl.
Jane: What? Yeah on the cheek.
Lisbon: Still counts.
Jane: What? Yeah on the cheek.
Lisbon: Still counts.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Lisbon: We have agents at your house right now with a search warrant.
Chancellor Stern: Inadmissible.
Lisbon: Yes. I'd hate to be a State's Attorney. Jane's always pulling crap like this on them but they always win.
Chancellor Stern: Inadmissible.
Lisbon: Yes. I'd hate to be a State's Attorney. Jane's always pulling crap like this on them but they always win.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Jane: Let's keep it casual to start with Sophie. Let her relax. If she gets her guard up, we'll get nothing from her.
Lisbon: You're very combative all of a sudden.
Jane: Yeah, if she is guilty, she lied to me and I believed it. She fooled me.
Lisbon: The ultimate sin.
Jane: Yes it is.
Lisbon: You're very combative all of a sudden.
Jane: Yeah, if she is guilty, she lied to me and I believed it. She fooled me.
Lisbon: The ultimate sin.
Jane: Yes it is.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Jane: The widow's not a true blonde. She's naturally dark.
Lisbon: And what?
Jane: And her hair's colored and styled to look like Sophie, only younger. She was a brunette when I knew her.
Lisbon: So Nelson was a control freak like you said.
Jane: A control freak with a serious thing for getting his women to dye their hair blonde.
Lisbon: Kerry Sheenan has roots.
Jane: Yes, she does.
Lisbon: Sheenan and Alex Nelson were having an affair.
Jane: Bravo!
Lisbon: And what?
Jane: And her hair's colored and styled to look like Sophie, only younger. She was a brunette when I knew her.
Lisbon: So Nelson was a control freak like you said.
Jane: A control freak with a serious thing for getting his women to dye their hair blonde.
Lisbon: Kerry Sheenan has roots.
Jane: Yes, she does.
Lisbon: Sheenan and Alex Nelson were having an affair.
Jane: Bravo!
TV Show: The Mentalist
Cho: How did you kill Nelson?
Howie: Poison.
Cho: What kind of poison did you use?
Howie: Wouldn't you like to know.
Cho: I do know, I'm wondering if you do.
Howie: Do you realize that the real rulers of this planet are insects?
Howie: Poison.
Cho: What kind of poison did you use?
Howie: Wouldn't you like to know.
Cho: I do know, I'm wondering if you do.
Howie: Do you realize that the real rulers of this planet are insects?
TV Show: The Mentalist
Grace: [talking about Howie] He's crazy.
Rigsby: Yeah, crazy don't make him innocent. Crazy is what makes people kill other people.
Rigsby: Yeah, crazy don't make him innocent. Crazy is what makes people kill other people.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Stutzer: You are skeptical. Nevertheless, it's true we are plumbing the depths of the human soul. Do you know what's down there? Do you know what your soul is made of?
Jane: Frogs and snails and puppy dogs' tails?
Stutzer: Ah. Humor. Good.
Jane: Frogs and snails and puppy dogs' tails?
Stutzer: Ah. Humor. Good.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Jane: Hey, thanks for not telling I made you take the case. Lisbon? Hello?
Lisbon: Tell me the truth.
Jane: Truth. Darth Vader? Luke's father.
Lisbon: Tell me the truth.
Jane: Truth. Darth Vader? Luke's father.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Minelli: Please do not dig the hole that you are standing in any deeper than you have already dug it.
Lisbon: No, sir.
Minelli: That hole is the grave of your very promising career.
Lisbon: You should put a flashlight underneath your chin just to complete the effect.
Minelli: I'm not kidding.
Lisbon: I know.
Lisbon: No, sir.
Minelli: That hole is the grave of your very promising career.
Lisbon: You should put a flashlight underneath your chin just to complete the effect.
Minelli: I'm not kidding.
Lisbon: I know.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Jane: Eighteen years of secret anger. How did you stand it?
Muriel Renfrew: Nobody's life is perfect.
Muriel Renfrew: Nobody's life is perfect.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Minelli: I'm giving you all formal notice. Any further infractions will result in immediate suspension.
Lisbon: Sir, you might as well suspend me now because there will be further infractions.
Lisbon: Sir, you might as well suspend me now because there will be further infractions.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Minelli: I gave this unit a direct written order and they have flagrantly disobeyed that order. Did they do that with your knowledge?
Lisbon: I ordered them to do it. I told them you countermanded your earlier order. They had no knowledge whatsoever that they were doing anything irregular.
Minelli: Nice try, Mother Teresa. But they already gave themselves up.
Rigsby: We never said a word-
Lisbon: I ordered them to do it. I told them you countermanded your earlier order. They had no knowledge whatsoever that they were doing anything irregular.
Minelli: Nice try, Mother Teresa. But they already gave themselves up.
Rigsby: We never said a word-
TV Show: The Mentalist
Grace: Why do people say "Eureka!" when they do something good?
Cho: It's Greek for bingo.
Grace: Well, Eureka.
Cho: It's Greek for bingo.
Grace: Well, Eureka.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Minelli: Gardner Renfrew is a player in this town. You can't go to his house and screw around with him.
Jane: Why not? It's a free country.
Jane: Why not? It's a free country.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Muriel Renfrew: [to Jane] Poor George dropped dead after the murder. Broke his heart, people said. George didn't really have a heart, in that sense. He died of embarrassment. A Renfrew in the pokey for murder. Quelle horreur.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Lisbon: Minelli wants me to keep a watch on you.
Jane: What are you going to do?
Lisbon: I'm not going to follow you around. Let's compromise. When you get into trouble, call me first so I can try and minimize the damage.
Jane: What are you going to do?
Lisbon: I'm not going to follow you around. Let's compromise. When you get into trouble, call me first so I can try and minimize the damage.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Lisbon: [to Jane] Just do me the favor of listening to me for a minute, so I can say "I told you so" later.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Jane: The law's the law. My desire for revenge doesn't outweigh the rules. I have to accept that.
Minelli: I'm glad you understand.
Jane: Thanks for your time.
[Jane exits]
Minelli: He's lying through his teeth, isn't he?
Lisbon: Yes.
Minelli: I'm glad you understand.
Jane: Thanks for your time.
[Jane exits]
Minelli: He's lying through his teeth, isn't he?
Lisbon: Yes.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Jared Renfrew: [to Jane] Your wife...Red John painted her toenails. Yes. Painted them with her own blood...the police didn't make that public, did they? She's the only instance he did that, huh? A touch of elegance for you alone.
TV Show: The Mentalist