The Mentalist Quotes
Jane: Yes, this is also the key to a locker that holds ten million dollars.
Brooke Harper: Really? I thought it was for cigars. I love a good cigar.
Jane: Nope. Ten million dollars.
Brooke Harper: But that's just silly. Why would Jim keep ten million dollars in a locker?
Jane: [To Cho] She's good.
Cho: Yeah, she is.
Brooke Harper: Really? I thought it was for cigars. I love a good cigar.
Jane: Nope. Ten million dollars.
Brooke Harper: But that's just silly. Why would Jim keep ten million dollars in a locker?
Jane: [To Cho] She's good.
Cho: Yeah, she is.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Brooke Harper: How did you find me?
Jane: Well, let's make a deal. I'll tell you how we found you if you tell us who you are.
Brooke Harper: Okay. [With a British accent] My name is Angela Dalibar and I'm from Birmingham, England by way of Hong Kong. How did you find me?
Jane: I planted a GPS tracking device on you. Outstanding technology. No bigger than a stick of gum.
Cho: Tell us more about yourself Angela. How long have you been a professional con woman?
Brooke Harper: All my life, I suppose. [She drops the British accent] And I confess, my name's not really Angela.
Jane: And I didn't plant a GPS tracking device on you.
Jane: Well, let's make a deal. I'll tell you how we found you if you tell us who you are.
Brooke Harper: Okay. [With a British accent] My name is Angela Dalibar and I'm from Birmingham, England by way of Hong Kong. How did you find me?
Jane: I planted a GPS tracking device on you. Outstanding technology. No bigger than a stick of gum.
Cho: Tell us more about yourself Angela. How long have you been a professional con woman?
Brooke Harper: All my life, I suppose. [She drops the British accent] And I confess, my name's not really Angela.
Jane: And I didn't plant a GPS tracking device on you.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Rick Bregman: Six months of living in that chair. Six months and no one ever questioned me about it. Why did you?
Jane: Whenever I meet someone in a wheelchair I check the bottoms of their shoes. The bottoms of your shoes were scuffed. I've been checking shoes for years. This is the first time it's ever paid off. First time. That's gratifying, man. Very, very gratifying.
Lisbon: Ah, he's a pistol, isn't he?
Jane: Whenever I meet someone in a wheelchair I check the bottoms of their shoes. The bottoms of your shoes were scuffed. I've been checking shoes for years. This is the first time it's ever paid off. First time. That's gratifying, man. Very, very gratifying.
Lisbon: Ah, he's a pistol, isn't he?
TV Show: The Mentalist
Brooke Harper: See you around, Patrick.
Agent Hayes: I'll doubt you'll be seeing much of anybody for a few years.
Jane: Uh, I don't know about that, agent Hayes. She's very good at what she does.
Agent Hayes: I'll doubt you'll be seeing much of anybody for a few years.
Jane: Uh, I don't know about that, agent Hayes. She's very good at what she does.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Jane: That urge you have to get one over on people, the need to be smarter than the next guy? It'll keep biting you on the ass.
Brooke Harper: So my butt'll hurt occasionally. I'll still be smarter than the next guy.
Brooke Harper: So my butt'll hurt occasionally. I'll still be smarter than the next guy.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Lisbon: Chewing-gum plays. I can already see my hair with a big chunk out of it.
Jane: You'd look good with short hair. Choppy, all kind of Peter Pan. Good for the eyes.
Jane: You'd look good with short hair. Choppy, all kind of Peter Pan. Good for the eyes.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Lisbon: Train station. It had to be a train station.
Jane: What's wrong with a train station?
Lisbon: People, noise, tunnels, trains. More people.
Jane: What's wrong with a train station?
Lisbon: People, noise, tunnels, trains. More people.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Jane: Make much money, playing the keyboards?
Keith Gulbrand: No, but I'm not in it for the money. You know, music is a...it's a spiritual thing.
Jane: Yeah, it is. So is money. Everything that exists has a spiritual essence. Or not at all.
Keith Gulbrand: No, but I'm not in it for the money. You know, music is a...it's a spiritual thing.
Jane: Yeah, it is. So is money. Everything that exists has a spiritual essence. Or not at all.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Jane: When was the last time you saw a doctor's handwriting you could read?
Lisbon: So she's precise. Is that what you're implying?
Jane: Yes, and the possibility that Dr. Brooke Harper is not a doctor.
Lisbon: Because she has penmanship skills?
Jane: And she doesn't have that cold, creepy, doctor-y vibe they all have.
Lisbon: So she's precise. Is that what you're implying?
Jane: Yes, and the possibility that Dr. Brooke Harper is not a doctor.
Lisbon: Because she has penmanship skills?
Jane: And she doesn't have that cold, creepy, doctor-y vibe they all have.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Rigsby: Be fair. Not all the Doctors are cold and creepy.
Jane: First day in Medical School they get a stack of books and a dead human being. That, I'm afraid, would change you. Brooke Harper was warm and emotional.
Lisbon: You like her so she can't be a Doctor.
Jane: Pretty much.
Jane: First day in Medical School they get a stack of books and a dead human being. That, I'm afraid, would change you. Brooke Harper was warm and emotional.
Lisbon: You like her so she can't be a Doctor.
Jane: Pretty much.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Marshall Winston: CBI! CBI! Like that's supposed to mean something!
Cho: Yeah, we do need better brand awareness.
Cho: Yeah, we do need better brand awareness.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Rigsby: I hate the woods.
Cho: Would you rather be playing desk jockey with Van Pelt right now?
Rigsby: Who sends their kids to a place like this? It's not cheap either.
Cho: A little deprivation and discipline is good for the soul.
Rigsby: Yeah, but this is like a juvie prison camp.
Cho: No. This is like spring break in Cancun compared to juvie.
Rigsby: Wait, you were in juvenile hall? Seriously?
Cho: Yeah, didn't you read my file?
Rigsby: No. Wait, did you read mine?
Cho: Of course.
Cho: Would you rather be playing desk jockey with Van Pelt right now?
Rigsby: Who sends their kids to a place like this? It's not cheap either.
Cho: A little deprivation and discipline is good for the soul.
Rigsby: Yeah, but this is like a juvie prison camp.
Cho: No. This is like spring break in Cancun compared to juvie.
Rigsby: Wait, you were in juvenile hall? Seriously?
Cho: Yeah, didn't you read my file?
Rigsby: No. Wait, did you read mine?
Cho: Of course.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Lisbon: I hope you got something useful for all the trouble you caused.
Jane: Yes, I did. The story of the mad axeman Zachariah, who lives in these here woods.
Lisbon: Ah, Z.
Jane: Yes, Z. I would have gotten more, but you came back too quickly.
Lisbon: Reality check. I'm your supervising agent. I'm not your decoy.
Jane: Yes, I did. The story of the mad axeman Zachariah, who lives in these here woods.
Lisbon: Ah, Z.
Jane: Yes, Z. I would have gotten more, but you came back too quickly.
Lisbon: Reality check. I'm your supervising agent. I'm not your decoy.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Chief Brody: Do you have any actual facts?
Jane: Well, it's an actual fact that you dislike Mr. MacLean here because he's a tree-hugging, liberal wacko who's probably running some kind of a cult. And he dislikes you because you're a small-minded, provincial hayseed. Not that you are necessarily. That's just what he thinks.
Jane: Well, it's an actual fact that you dislike Mr. MacLean here because he's a tree-hugging, liberal wacko who's probably running some kind of a cult. And he dislikes you because you're a small-minded, provincial hayseed. Not that you are necessarily. That's just what he thinks.
TV Show: The Mentalist
[One of the students has gone missing]
Lisbon: We should start looking in the woods around the school.
Jane: Oh, that sounds horribly tedious. Shout if you need me.
Lisbon: Go ahead, relax. Enjoy yourself. God forbid you should do anything tedious.
Lisbon: We should start looking in the woods around the school.
Jane: Oh, that sounds horribly tedious. Shout if you need me.
Lisbon: Go ahead, relax. Enjoy yourself. God forbid you should do anything tedious.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Jane: Who's Zachariah?
Mr. Maclean: Who?
Jane: Zachariah?
Mr. Maclean: Never heard of him. Who is he?
Jane: Liar.
Mr. Maclean: Liar?
Jane: Pants on fire. They're ablaze.
Mr. Maclean: I wanna cooperate with you people, but this man is trying to...I don't know what he's trying to do, but I resent it.
Mr. Maclean: Who?
Jane: Zachariah?
Mr. Maclean: Never heard of him. Who is he?
Jane: Liar.
Mr. Maclean: Liar?
Jane: Pants on fire. They're ablaze.
Mr. Maclean: I wanna cooperate with you people, but this man is trying to...I don't know what he's trying to do, but I resent it.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Jane: Excuse me, what kind of tree is this?
Chief Brody: Couldn't say.
Jane: Smells good. So you're not a local?
Chief Brody: Born five miles down the road, just don't give a crap about trees.
Chief Brody: Couldn't say.
Jane: Smells good. So you're not a local?
Chief Brody: Born five miles down the road, just don't give a crap about trees.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Mr. MacLean: I think you might show a little more respect.
Jane: Respect for...?
Chief Brody: There's a dead child here.
Jane: Yes, yes, he's dead. He doesn't care how I talk to you.
Jane: Respect for...?
Chief Brody: There's a dead child here.
Jane: Yes, yes, he's dead. He doesn't care how I talk to you.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Lisbon: Why so cruel?
Jane: Statistically, it's dad that did it.
Lisbon: Since when do you care about statistics?
Jane: Just wanted to raise his pulse a little.
Jane: Statistically, it's dad that did it.
Lisbon: Since when do you care about statistics?
Jane: Just wanted to raise his pulse a little.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Jane: Do you always follow your husband's lead? Do you never struggle against his desire to control?
Mr. Plaskett: Excuse me?
Jane: Just because you drink too much doesn't mean you don't have a say. I should think he's at least half the reason you drink in the first place. Yeah? A good man, but cold, pious.
Mr. Plaskett: You know, possession of that badge does not excuse you from acting with human decency.
Mr. Plaskett: Excuse me?
Jane: Just because you drink too much doesn't mean you don't have a say. I should think he's at least half the reason you drink in the first place. Yeah? A good man, but cold, pious.
Mr. Plaskett: You know, possession of that badge does not excuse you from acting with human decency.
TV Show: The Mentalist
[Jane is interrogating a suspect]
Jane: Please understand something. I have a very personal interest in this case. I'll do whatever it takes. I will have you framed for murder. I will torture you, I will kill you myself if I have to.
[Lisbon and Minelli are listening on the other side of the glass]
Minelli: Geez, Lisbon. Come on, this is on tape. Control your man there.
Lisbon: Cut him some slack. Look, he's just playing the guy. He doesn't mean it.
Minelli: Doesn't he? You know what Red John does to him. He can't think straight. He would do all that he said and more if you let him.
Lisbon: I won't let him.
Jane: Please understand something. I have a very personal interest in this case. I'll do whatever it takes. I will have you framed for murder. I will torture you, I will kill you myself if I have to.
[Lisbon and Minelli are listening on the other side of the glass]
Minelli: Geez, Lisbon. Come on, this is on tape. Control your man there.
Lisbon: Cut him some slack. Look, he's just playing the guy. He doesn't mean it.
Minelli: Doesn't he? You know what Red John does to him. He can't think straight. He would do all that he said and more if you let him.
Lisbon: I won't let him.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Jane: If we catch Red John, he's not walking anywhere. He's mine.
Lisbon: Don't talk like that. I can't let you anywhere near this case if you start talking crazy like that.
Jane: Crazy? You're crazy if you think you're gonna stop me. Red John is mine. You try to stand in my way and you will regret it.
Lisbon: Are you threatening me?
Jane: No, I'm just saying that if you stand in my way you--
Lisbon: [interrupting] I've had it with your egotistical crap. This isn't about justice or the law. This is about you and your wounded pride. I'm done with it.
Lisbon: Don't talk like that. I can't let you anywhere near this case if you start talking crazy like that.
Jane: Crazy? You're crazy if you think you're gonna stop me. Red John is mine. You try to stand in my way and you will regret it.
Lisbon: Are you threatening me?
Jane: No, I'm just saying that if you stand in my way you--
Lisbon: [interrupting] I've had it with your egotistical crap. This isn't about justice or the law. This is about you and your wounded pride. I'm done with it.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Lisbon: We still have Hardy, okay? He's gonna tell us what we need to know.
Jane: Oh, you think so? You should have waited. We agreed on that.
Lisbon: What if Hardy had killed you right here?
Jane: He would have led you straight to Red John.
Lisbon: You'd be dead.
Jane: But you would have Red John.
Lisbon: I don't think you mean what you say. I think you'd choose life.
Jane: Well, you think wrong.
Lisbon: No. No, you think wrong. Can't you see there's people who care about you? Who need you? You're being selfish and childish and I want you to stop it.
Jane: I wish that I could, but, you know, some things you just can't fix.
Jane: Oh, you think so? You should have waited. We agreed on that.
Lisbon: What if Hardy had killed you right here?
Jane: He would have led you straight to Red John.
Lisbon: You'd be dead.
Jane: But you would have Red John.
Lisbon: I don't think you mean what you say. I think you'd choose life.
Jane: Well, you think wrong.
Lisbon: No. No, you think wrong. Can't you see there's people who care about you? Who need you? You're being selfish and childish and I want you to stop it.
Jane: I wish that I could, but, you know, some things you just can't fix.
TV Show: The Mentalist
[Bosco has been given the Red John case]
Jane: What do you know about the case?
Bosco: Not much. He's a serial killer, 15 victims, including your wife and child. I can imagine your pain. Maybe that pain is clouding your judgment.
Jane: Well... [He leaves the room]
Lisbon: And me, Sam? What's clouding my judgment?
Bosco: Good question. You tell me.
Jane: What do you know about the case?
Bosco: Not much. He's a serial killer, 15 victims, including your wife and child. I can imagine your pain. Maybe that pain is clouding your judgment.
Jane: Well... [He leaves the room]
Lisbon: And me, Sam? What's clouding my judgment?
Bosco: Good question. You tell me.
TV Show: The Mentalist
[Talking about the aftermath of Jane solving a case]
Minelli: A dead suspect, quarter-million dollars worth of damages, formal complains of misconduct from the SPD and the Modesto city council!
Lisbon: Those damages were way padded.
Minelli: A dead suspect, quarter-million dollars worth of damages, formal complains of misconduct from the SPD and the Modesto city council!
Lisbon: Those damages were way padded.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Minelli: [to Jane] Ever since the Tanner incident, you've been runnin' way too hot. I fear a terminal screw up is coming.
Lisbon: That's not gonna happen. I can handle him.
Minelli: Can you? Maybe since he saved your life, you're going easy on him. Maybe you feel compelled to cut him some slack.
Lisbon: No, sir. That is absolutely not the case.
Lisbon: That's not gonna happen. I can handle him.
Minelli: Can you? Maybe since he saved your life, you're going easy on him. Maybe you feel compelled to cut him some slack.
Lisbon: No, sir. That is absolutely not the case.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Jane: Candice, take my advice. Forgive your mother. Maybe the headaches will stop.
Candice: I love my mother.
Jane: Oh, I'm wrong. Ignore my advice.
Candice: I love my mother.
Jane: Oh, I'm wrong. Ignore my advice.
TV Show: The Mentalist
[Jane's meeting with Bosco]
Jane: Well, I'm not gonna lie. I'm not happy I'm off the Red John case. You might be right. Here's the thing Sam, if I may. I know this case. I can be a very good resource for you if we could just come to some kind of understanding.
Bosco: You want me to keep you up-to-date on the case?
Jane: Yeah... sure.
Bosco: Tell you about fresh leads and so?
Jane: Yeah, let's just keep an open line of communication.
Bosco: Let me communicate this to you. You're a party entertainer. A clown. Fresh leads? I wouldn't tell you where the bathroom is if your ass was on fire.
Jane: [laughs]
Bosco: Do we have a good understanding now?
Jane: I understand you. It may take you some time to understand me.
Bosco: You're filled with equal parts of self-loathing and self-love. You're addicted to control, you're terrified of confinement. Your wife wanted you to quit psychic trade. She begged you to stop. But you were making too much money, you were having too much fun, you can still hear her pleading with you. How am I doing?
Jane: You read the interviews in my case file. You can read. Very impressive.
Bosco: Look, Patrick. I'm sorry for being so blunt with you. You're not a detective. You're a victim. (leaves)
Jane: Well, I'm not gonna lie. I'm not happy I'm off the Red John case. You might be right. Here's the thing Sam, if I may. I know this case. I can be a very good resource for you if we could just come to some kind of understanding.
Bosco: You want me to keep you up-to-date on the case?
Jane: Yeah... sure.
Bosco: Tell you about fresh leads and so?
Jane: Yeah, let's just keep an open line of communication.
Bosco: Let me communicate this to you. You're a party entertainer. A clown. Fresh leads? I wouldn't tell you where the bathroom is if your ass was on fire.
Jane: [laughs]
Bosco: Do we have a good understanding now?
Jane: I understand you. It may take you some time to understand me.
Bosco: You're filled with equal parts of self-loathing and self-love. You're addicted to control, you're terrified of confinement. Your wife wanted you to quit psychic trade. She begged you to stop. But you were making too much money, you were having too much fun, you can still hear her pleading with you. How am I doing?
Jane: You read the interviews in my case file. You can read. Very impressive.
Bosco: Look, Patrick. I'm sorry for being so blunt with you. You're not a detective. You're a victim. (leaves)
TV Show: The Mentalist
Cho: Yeah, the door was open.
Rigsby: Uh, no, it wasn't.
Jane: AHA! Of course.
Cho: What?
Jane: Rigsby, you're right. You shouldn't be here. Let us take this. You go find the nearest library.
Rigsby: Why?
Jane: Your punishment for being a wuss is I'm not gonna tell you.
Rigsby: Oh, come on.
Jane: Nope, I'm not gonna tell you.
Rigsby: Uh, no, it wasn't.
Jane: AHA! Of course.
Cho: What?
Jane: Rigsby, you're right. You shouldn't be here. Let us take this. You go find the nearest library.
Rigsby: Why?
Jane: Your punishment for being a wuss is I'm not gonna tell you.
Rigsby: Oh, come on.
Jane: Nope, I'm not gonna tell you.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Jane: You're glad Bosco has the Red John case, aren't you?
Lisbon: Bosco is a good agent. He's as good as they come. It might not be such a bad thing that we're off the case for a while. We got too close.
Jane: Is that what your shrink tells you?
Lisbon: Everybody tells me that.
Jane: But your shrink did tell you that, didn't he?
Lisbon: Bosco is a good agent. He's as good as they come. It might not be such a bad thing that we're off the case for a while. We got too close.
Jane: Is that what your shrink tells you?
Lisbon: Everybody tells me that.
Jane: But your shrink did tell you that, didn't he?
TV Show: The Mentalist