The Muppet Show Quotes

- I guess we'll never know
- It's like a kind of torture...
- (in unison) ...to have to watch this show!

TV Show: The Muppet Show
- Yeah, like comedy maybe!

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- That wasn't pantomime, your hearing aid's busted again!

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- Here. Can you tell anything about me from this?
- Yeah, you've got a round shape, and you're full of hot air.
- [balloon slips out of Waldorf's fingers and whirls around losing air]

TV Show: The Muppet Show
- Said the men in the theater box...
- [both] Don't boogie in the barnyard!

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- (Looks at his watch) That was about, uh, a minute-and-a-half.

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- The question is, who cares?

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- I don't know. Maybe somebody must have broken their ig.

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- Oh, yes. Someone must have told them that it's harder to hit a moving target.

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- That was the speech?
- It was dumb.
- It was obvious.
- It was pointless.
- It was...Short.
- [unison] I loved it!

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- Well I will... I brought a book!

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- Boooo!
- That was the worst thing I ever heard!
- It was terrible!
- Horrendous!
- Well, it wasn't that bad.
- Oh yeah?
- There were parts of it I liked.
- Yeah, I liked a lot of it.
- Yeah, it was good, actually.
- It was great!
- It's wonderful!
- Ah, bravo!
- More!
- More!
- More!
- More!

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- You should know! You dated his sister!
- Boy, was she ugly.

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- Maybe Gonzo should quit while he's ahead.
- Gonzo should quit while he's alive!

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- No thank you, I don't want to eat.
- I said beat! Why don't you turn up your hearing aid?
- There's going to be a raid? Let's get out of here!

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- An act of mercy!

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- Yes. Choosing what show to be on.

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- I thought it was dumb.
- Maybe you’re right.

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- Why you old fool! I’m not your son and my name’s not shine!

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- It’s either this show or indigestion. I hope it’s indigestion.
- Why?
- It’ll get better in a little while.

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- It’s hard to feel sorry for him. We take a beating every show.

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- Waste of time. Nothing will save this show.

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- Yeah. I can think of some other people I’d rather see leave this show.
- Who?
- Me!

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- Well, it wasn’t too bad.
- Well, that’s a novelty!
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- What’s that?
- A television you can turn off!

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- I love French fries.
- French fries? I don’t get that.
- You didn’t order any!

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- You plan to like this show??
- No, I plan to watch television!

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- I don’t believe you!

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- What’s that?
- Why did they do it?

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- You believe that?
- No, I was lying.

TV Show: The Muppet Show