The Nice Guys Quotes
Holland March: Look on the bright side. Nobody got hurt.
Jackson Healy: People got hurt.
Holland March: I'm saying, I think they died quickly. So I don't think they got hurt.
Jackson Healy: People got hurt.
Holland March: I'm saying, I think they died quickly. So I don't think they got hurt.
Movie: The Nice Guys
Holland March: So you're telling me you made a porno where the plot is the point?
Movie: The Nice Guys
Holland March: I think I'm invincible. It's the only thing that makes sense. I don't think I can die.
Movie: The Nice Guys
Holland March: Munich.
Jackson Healy: What?
Holland March: Guy without his balls. A Munich.
Jackson Healy: Munich, is a city in Germany, Munich. M³nchen.
Holland March: You sure?
Jackson Healy: My dad was stationed there.
Holland March: Right. Hitler only had one ball.
Jackson Healy: What?
Holland March: Guy without his balls. A Munich.
Jackson Healy: Munich, is a city in Germany, Munich. M³nchen.
Holland March: You sure?
Jackson Healy: My dad was stationed there.
Holland March: Right. Hitler only had one ball.
Movie: The Nice Guys
Holland March: What are you doing?
Holly March: I was giving you a rimjob.
Holland March: [horrified]Rimshot!... Rimshot.
Holly March: I was giving you a rimjob.
Holland March: [horrified]Rimshot!... Rimshot.
Movie: The Nice Guys
[In the midst of being shot at, Healy jumps through a window] Jackson Healy: March! Gun! Gun! [March tosses Healy a gun, which careens through the window next to the one Healy just jumped through]
Jackson Healy: Fuck!
Holland March: Shit!
Jackson Healy: Fuck!
Holland March: Shit!
Movie: The Nice Guys
Fred's Widow: It's my husband, he's gone missing.
Holland March: Missing?
Fred's Widow: I'm terribly worried, it's just Fred's never gone this long before. [March casually looking around room when he notice ash urn with Fred's name on it]
Holland March: How long has he been missing?
Fred's Widow: Since the funeral.
Holland March: Well, I can start right away.
Holland March: Missing?
Fred's Widow: I'm terribly worried, it's just Fred's never gone this long before. [March casually looking around room when he notice ash urn with Fred's name on it]
Holland March: How long has he been missing?
Fred's Widow: Since the funeral.
Holland March: Well, I can start right away.
Movie: The Nice Guys
Kid on Bike: You guys wanna see my dick?
Holland March: Nobody wants to see your dick, dude.
Kid on Bike: 20 bucks?
Holland March: We already paid you 20... what am I saying?
Holland March: Nobody wants to see your dick, dude.
Kid on Bike: 20 bucks?
Holland March: We already paid you 20... what am I saying?
Movie: The Nice Guys
Holland March: Jesus Christ! One at a time!
Janet: [stunned]You took the Lord's name in vain.
Holland March: No I didn't, Janet. I found it very useful actually. Ok, Janet?
Janet: [stunned]You took the Lord's name in vain.
Holland March: No I didn't, Janet. I found it very useful actually. Ok, Janet?
Movie: The Nice Guys
Holland March: Got a cool ad though. I made your head small because I know you're sensitive about how big it is.
Movie: The Nice Guys
Holly March: You beat people up and charge money?
Jackson Healy: Yeah.
Holland March: Sad, isn't it?
Holly March: How much would you charge to beat up my friend Janet?
Holland March: What?
Jackson Healy: How much you got?
Holly March: Thirty bucks.
Holland March: That's good, this conversation is over.
Jackson Healy: Yeah.
Holland March: Sad, isn't it?
Holly March: How much would you charge to beat up my friend Janet?
Holland March: What?
Jackson Healy: How much you got?
Holly March: Thirty bucks.
Holland March: That's good, this conversation is over.
Movie: The Nice Guys
Holland March: I was in the pool.
Jackson Healy: You were in the pool?
Holland March: Yeah.
Jackson Healy: Why?
Holland March: I had to question the mermaids. What were you doing while I was working?
Jackson Healy: You were in the pool?
Holland March: Yeah.
Jackson Healy: Why?
Holland March: I had to question the mermaids. What were you doing while I was working?
Movie: The Nice Guys
Holly March: [Holly and March are inside their house while Healy is waiting outside]Why don't we invite him in?
Holland March: No animals in the house, sweetheart.
Holland March: No animals in the house, sweetheart.
Movie: The Nice Guys
Mrs. Glenn: So does this mean my niece is dead?
Holland March: [impatient/annoyed]YES! [the room is stunned as Mrs. Glenn clasps her mouth in horror]
Holland March: I mean, uh, yes I'm so sorry.
Holland March: [impatient/annoyed]YES! [the room is stunned as Mrs. Glenn clasps her mouth in horror]
Holland March: I mean, uh, yes I'm so sorry.
Movie: The Nice Guys
Jackson Healy: So, you know the old lady, right? Did you believe her?
Holland March: What about?
Jackson Healy: When she said she saw Misty alive that night, did you believe her?
Holland March: God, no. She's blind as a bat.
Jackson Healy: Uh-huh.
Holland March: She has actual coke bottles for glasses. You paint a mustache on a Volkswagen, she says, Boy, that Omar Sharif sure runs fast.
Holland March: What about?
Jackson Healy: When she said she saw Misty alive that night, did you believe her?
Holland March: God, no. She's blind as a bat.
Jackson Healy: Uh-huh.
Holland March: She has actual coke bottles for glasses. You paint a mustache on a Volkswagen, she says, Boy, that Omar Sharif sure runs fast.
Movie: The Nice Guys
Holland March: [walks up to the bar, clearly intoxicated]Hi everyone, I'm Amelia. She's about... [makes height gesture with his hand]
Holland March: dark hair. Answers to... [sees topless mermaid swimming in pool]
Holland March: the call of the wild. Just kidding. I forgot her name, but you know, if you see you, just... if you see, let me know, and tell me... tell me my name.
Holland March: dark hair. Answers to... [sees topless mermaid swimming in pool]
Holland March: the call of the wild. Just kidding. I forgot her name, but you know, if you see you, just... if you see, let me know, and tell me... tell me my name.
Movie: The Nice Guys
Holly March: Dad, there's like whores here and stuff.
Holland March: Sweetheart, how many times have I told you? Don't say and stuff. Just say dad, there are whores here.
Holly March: Well, there's like a ton.
Holland March: Sweetheart, how many times have I told you? Don't say and stuff. Just say dad, there are whores here.
Holly March: Well, there's like a ton.
Movie: The Nice Guys
Holland March: [to Holly]You're supposed to be at Jessica's.
Jessica: Yeah, sorry, Mr. March. My sister kicked us out. She's having a guy over.
Holland March: Your sister's such a slut.
Jessica: Yeah, I know.
Jessica: Yeah, sorry, Mr. March. My sister kicked us out. She's having a guy over.
Holland March: Your sister's such a slut.
Jessica: Yeah, I know.
Movie: The Nice Guys
Holland March: [after smashing a window with his hand, he notices a deep cut]That's... that's a lot of blood... that's a lot of blood, there's... that's a lot of blood.
Movie: The Nice Guys
Flight Deck Bartender: Guys, listen. You don't go up there, all right? Trust me. These New York guys are up there. Uh, business guys. They got fucking bodyguards. Kind of had their balls removed. What's that called? Huh?
Jackson Healy: Marriage?
Jackson Healy: Marriage?
Movie: The Nice Guys
Party Girl
1: [talking to another party girl]All I told him was that if you want me to do that, then don't eat the asparagus.
1: [talking to another party girl]All I told him was that if you want me to do that, then don't eat the asparagus.
Movie: The Nice Guys
Holly March: Do you by any chance know a girl named Amelia? I think she did a film with Sid Shattuck.
Young Porn Queen: Don't know her, but Sid's gross. He told me this one chick was his sister, right, and then a few days later I walk in on them and they're all doing anal and stuff.
Holly March: [sighs]Don't say, and stuff. Just say, They're doing anal.
Young Porn Queen: Don't know her, but Sid's gross. He told me this one chick was his sister, right, and then a few days later I walk in on them and they're all doing anal and stuff.
Holly March: [sighs]Don't say, and stuff. Just say, They're doing anal.
Movie: The Nice Guys
Jackson Healy: The place reeks of marijuana. They're smoking it.
Holland March: I can't smell.
Jackson Healy: What?
Holland March: I got hit in the head a while back. I lost my sense of smell.
Jackson Healy: You can't smell?
Holland March: Yeah.
Jackson Healy: You're a detective, and you can't smell?
Holland March: Yeah.
Jackson Healy: Aw, this just keeps getting better and better.
Holland March: Wow, that's really insensitive.
Holland March: I can't smell.
Jackson Healy: What?
Holland March: I got hit in the head a while back. I lost my sense of smell.
Jackson Healy: You can't smell?
Holland March: Yeah.
Jackson Healy: You're a detective, and you can't smell?
Holland March: Yeah.
Jackson Healy: Aw, this just keeps getting better and better.
Holland March: Wow, that's really insensitive.
Movie: The Nice Guys
Holland March: Have you seen this girl ? She's got dark hair, her name is Amelia.
Flight Deck Bartender: What's in it for me? [March points on Healy]
Holland March: He'll stop doing it.
Flight Deck Bartender: Doing what ? [Healy quickly grabs the bartender and smack his head on the bar desk]
Flight Deck Bartender: Ow, fuck!
Holland March: That.
Flight Deck Bartender: What's in it for me? [March points on Healy]
Holland March: He'll stop doing it.
Flight Deck Bartender: Doing what ? [Healy quickly grabs the bartender and smack his head on the bar desk]
Flight Deck Bartender: Ow, fuck!
Holland March: That.
Movie: The Nice Guys
Judith Kuttner: My name is Judith Kuttner. I work for the Department of Justice.
Holland March: Okay. Well, that explains basically nothing.
Holland March: Okay. Well, that explains basically nothing.
Movie: The Nice Guys
[Healy meets March in the bathroom after previously breaking his arm] Jackson Healy: March. Jack Healy. Don't get upset. I'm not here to hurt you. I just wanna ask you a question. [March opens the bathroom stall door and brandishes a gun]
Holland March: How stupid do you think I am? I got a license to carry, motherfucker. Ever since your little visit the other day, this little baby's gonna stay right here. [as March gestures with his gun to his to shirt pocket, the stall door begins to close. March slams it open and drops the cigarette he had in his mouth into his pants]
Holland March: Shit! Fuck! [March reaches down to grab the cigarette and the stall door closes again. He repeatedly slams it open with his foot. Healy is quietly amused]
Holland March: Don't move.
Holland March: How stupid do you think I am? I got a license to carry, motherfucker. Ever since your little visit the other day, this little baby's gonna stay right here. [as March gestures with his gun to his to shirt pocket, the stall door begins to close. March slams it open and drops the cigarette he had in his mouth into his pants]
Holland March: Shit! Fuck! [March reaches down to grab the cigarette and the stall door closes again. He repeatedly slams it open with his foot. Healy is quietly amused]
Holland March: Don't move.
Movie: The Nice Guys
Jackson Healy: Hey, that's where I know you from, right? The TV. You're prosecuting that car company thing.
Judith Kuttner: The lawsuit for the catalytic converter. Yes. That's half my day. The other half I spend on pornography.
Jackson Healy: Hmm.
Holland March: What kind? Like which films? What's your favourite?
Jackson Healy: No, no. Uh, anti. Anti-porn.
Holland March: Right.
Jackson Healy: Like a crusader.
Judith Kuttner: The lawsuit for the catalytic converter. Yes. That's half my day. The other half I spend on pornography.
Jackson Healy: Hmm.
Holland March: What kind? Like which films? What's your favourite?
Jackson Healy: No, no. Uh, anti. Anti-porn.
Holland March: Right.
Jackson Healy: Like a crusader.
Movie: The Nice Guys