The Princess Bride Quotes

Man in Black : [ intrigued ] You've done nothing but study sword-play?
Inigo Montoya : More pursue than study lately. You see, I cannot find him... it's been twenty years now and I'm starting to lose confidence. I just work for Vizzini to pay the bills. There's not a lot of money in revenge. [ after a moments silence, the Man in black stands up and prepares to battle ]
Man in Black : Well I certainly hope you find him someday.
Inigo Montoya : You are ready then?
Man in Black : Whether I am or not, you've been more than fair.
Inigo Montoya : [ drawing his sword ] You seem a decent fellow... I hate to kill you.
Man in Black : You seem a decent fellow... I hate to die.
Inigo Montoya : [ confidently ] Begin.

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Fezzik : [ to Inigo regarding the man in black ] You be careful. People in masks cannot be trusted.

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Westley : Why won't my arms move?
Fezzik : You've been mostly-dead all day.

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Inigo Montoya : Where is this Count Rugen now, 'ccause I'mma kill him?
Fezzik : He's in the castle with the prince. But the castle gate is guarded by thirty men.
Inigo Montoya : [ angrily kicks a stool, then calms down ] How may do you think you could handle?
Fezzik : I don't think more than ten.

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Fezzik : Inigo?
Inigo Montoya : What?
Fezzik : I hope we win.

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Westley : [ planning a strategy ] Oh, what I wouldn't give for a holocaust cloak.
Inigo Montoya : There, we cannot help you.
Fezzik : [ produces a holocaust cloak ] Will this do?
Inigo Montoya : Where did you get that?
Fezzik : At Miracle Max's. It fits so nice, he said I could keep it.

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Inigo Montoya : Hello there. Slow going?
Man in Black : Look, I don't mean to be rude but this is not as easy as it looks, so I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't distract me.
Inigo Montoya : [ apologetic ] Sorry.
Man in Black : Thank you.

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Inigo Montoya : [ Both characters are engaged in a sword fight ] You are using Bonetti's Defense against me, ah?
Man in Black : I thought it fitting considering the rocky terrain.
Inigo Montoya : Naturally, you must suspect me to attack with Capa Ferro?
Man in Black : Naturally... but I find that Thibault cancels out Capa Ferro. Don't you?
Inigo Montoya : Unless the enemy has studied his Agrippa... which I have.

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Count Rugen : [ admiring his torture contraption ] Beautiful isn't it? It took me half a lifetime to invent it. I'm sure you've discovered my deep and abiding interest in pain. Presently I'm writing the definitive work on the subject, so I want you to be totally honest with me on how the machine makes you feel. This being our first try, I'll use the lowest setting. [ Count Rugen activates the water powered torture machine. Wesley writhes in great pain ]
Count Rugen : [ calmly ] As you know, the concept of the suction pump is centuries old. Really that's all this is except that instead of sucking water, I'm sucking life. I've just sucked one year of your life away. I might one day go as high as five, but I really don't know what that would do to you. So, let's just start with what we have. What did this do to you? Tell me. And remember, this is for posterity so be honest. How do you feel? [ Wesley cries and moans in pain ]
Count Rugen : Interesting.

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Count Rugen : Your princess is quite a winning creature. A trifle simple, perhaps. Her appeal is undeniable.
Prince Humperdinck : I know, the people are quite taken with her. It's odd, but when I hired Vizzini to have her murdered on our engagement day, I thought that was clever. But it's going to be so much more moving when I strangle her on our wedding night. Once Guilder is blamed, the nation will truly be outraged - they'll demand we go to war.
Count Rugen : [ snickers, then examines a huge tree ] Now where is that secret knot? It's impossible to find... [ he finds it and the tree opens to reveal a hidden passage ]
Count Rugen : Ah. Are you coming down into the pit? Wesley's got his strength back. I'm starting him on the machine tonight.
Prince Humperdinck : [ sincerely ] Tyrone, you know how much I love watching you work, but I've got my country's 500th anniversary to plan, my wedding to arrange, my wife to murder and Guilder to frame for it; I'm swamped.
Count Rugen : Get some rest. If you haven't got your health, then you haven't got anything.

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[ fencing ]
Inigo Montoya : You are wonderful.
Man in Black : Thank you; I've worked hard to become so.
Inigo Montoya : I admit it, you are better than I am.
Man in Black : Then why are you smiling?
Inigo Montoya : Because I know something you don't know.
Man in Black : And what is that?
Inigo Montoya : I... am not left-handed. [ Moves his sword to his right hand and gains an advantage ]
Man in Black : You are amazing.
Inigo Montoya : I ought to be, after 20 years.
Man in Black : Oh, there's something I ought to tell you.
Inigo Montoya : Tell me.
Man in Black : I'm not left-handed either. [ Moves his sword to his right hand and regains his advantage ]

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Inigo Montoya : Who are you?
Man in Black : No one of consequence.
Inigo Montoya : I must know...
Man in Black : Get used to disappointment.
Inigo Montoya : 'kay.

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Man in Black : All right. Where is the poison? The battle of wits has begun. It ends when you decide and we both drink, and find out who is right... and who is dead.
Vizzini : But it's so simple. All I have to do is divine from what I know of you: are you the sort of man who would put the poison into his own goblet or his enemy's? Now, a clever man would put the poison into his own goblet, because he would know that only a great fool would reach for what he was given. I am not a great fool, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But you must have known I was not a great fool, you would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.
Man in Black : You've made your decision then?
Vizzini : Not remotely. Because iocane comes from Australia, as everyone knows, and Australia is entirely peopled with criminals, and criminals are used to having people not trust them, as you are not trusted by me, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you.
Man in Black : Truly, you have a dizzying intellect.
Vizzini : Wait till I get going! Now, where was I?
Man in Black : Australia.
Vizzini : Yes, Australia. And you must have suspected I would have known the powder's origin, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.
Man in Black : You're just stalling now.
Vizzini : You'd like to think that, wouldn't you? You've beaten my giant, which means you're exceptionally strong, so you could've put the poison in your own goblet, trusting on your strength to save you, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But, you've also bested my Spaniard, which means you must have studied, and in studying you must have learned that man is mortal, so you would have put the poison as far from yourself as possible, so I can clearly not c

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Man in Black : I challenge you to a battle of wits.
Vizzini : For the Princess?
Man in Black : [ nods ]
Vizzini : To the death?
Man in Black : [ nods ]
Vizzini : I accept!

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Fezzik : We face each other as God intended. Sportsmanlike. No tricks, no weapons, skill against skill alone.
Man in Black : You mean, you'll put down your rock and I'll put down my sword, and we'll try and kill each other like civilized people?
Fezzik : [ brandishing rock ] I could kill you now.
Man in Black : Frankly, I think the odds are slightly in your favor at hand fighting.
Fezzik : It's not my fault being the biggest and the strongest. I don't even exercise.

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Vizzini : I can't compete with you physically, and you're no match for my brains.
Man in Black : You're that smart?
Vizzini : Let me put it this way. Have you ever heard of Plato, Aristotle, Socrates?
Man in Black : Yes.
Vizzini : Morons.

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Buttercup : You mock my pain.
Man in Black : Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.

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Buttercup : We'll never survive.
Westley : Nonsense. You're only saying that because no one ever has.

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[ after Westley rescues her from the lightning quicksand ]
Buttercup : We'll never succeed. We may as well die here.
Westley : No, no. We have already succeeded. I mean, what are the three terrors of the Fire Swamp? One, the flame spurt - no problem. There's a popping sound preceding each; we can avoid that. Two, the lightning sand, which you were clever enough to discover what that looks like, so in the future we can avoid that too.
Buttercup : Westley, what about the R.O.U.S.'s?
Westley : Rodents Of Unusual Size? I don't think they exist. [ Immediately, an R.O.U.S. attacks him ]

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Prince Humperdinck : Surrender.
Westley : You mean you wish to surrender to me? Very well, I accept.

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Buttercup : You can't hurt me. Westley and I are joined by the bonds of love. And you cannot track that, not with a thousand bloodhounds, and you cannot break it, not with a thousand swords.

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[ hearing the scream of Westley as he is being tortured ]
Inigo Montoya : Do you hear that, Fezzik? That is the sound of ultimate suffering. My heart made that sound when the six-fingered man killed my father. The Man in Black makes it now.

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Inigo Montoya : Are you the Miracle Max who worked for the king all those years?
Miracle Max : The King's stinking son fired me, and thank you so much for bringing up such a painful subject. While you're at it, why don't you give me a nice paper cut and pour lemon juice on it? We're closed.

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Miracle Max : Get back, witch.
Valerie : I'm not a witch, I'm your wife. But after what you just said, I'm not even sure I want to be that any more.

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Miracle Max : Have fun stormin' da castle.
Valerie : Think it'll work?
Miracle Max : It would take a miracle.

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Westley : Who are you? Are we enemies? Why am I on this wall? Where is Buttercup?
Inigo Montoya : Let me 'splain. [ pause ]
Inigo Montoya : No, there is too much. Let me sum up. Buttercup is marry' Humperdinck in a little less than half an hour. So all we have to do is get in, break up the wedding, steal the princess, make our escape... after I kill Count Rugen.
Westley : That doesn't leave much time for dilly-dallying.
Fezzik : You just wiggled your finger. That's wonderful.
Westley : I've always been a quick healer. What are our liabilities?
Inigo Montoya : There is but one working castle gate, and... and it is guarded by 60 men.
Westley : And our assets?
Inigo Montoya : Your brains, Fezzik's strength, my steel.

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Westley : I mean, if we only had a wheelbarrow, that would be something.
Inigo Montoya : Where we did we put that wheelbarrow the albino had?
Fezzik : Over the albino, I think.
Westley : Well, why didn't you list that among our assets in the first place?

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Westley : Give us the gate key.
Yellin : I have no gate key.
Inigo Montoya : Fezzik, tear his arms off.
Yellin : Oh, you mean *this* gate key.

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[ repeated line ]
Inigo Montoya : Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

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Inigo Montoya : My father was slaughtered by a six-fingered man. He was a great swordmaker, my father. When the six-fingered man appeared and requested a special sword. My father took the job. He slaved a year before it was done. [ Shows the Man in Black the sword ]
Man in Black : I've never seen its equal.
Inigo Montoya : The six-fingered man returned and demanded it, but at one tenth his promised price, my father refused. Without a word, the six-fingered man slashed him through the heart. I loved my father. So naturally, I challenged his murderer to a duel. I failed. The six-fingered man left me alive, but he gave me these. [ strokes the scars on his cheeks ]
Man in Black : How old were you?
Inigo Montoya : I was eleven years old. And when I was strong enough, I dedicated my life to the study of fencing. So the next time we meet, I will not fail. I will go up to the six-fingered man and say, "Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."

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