The Raccoons Quotes
Lady Baden-Baden: Cedric's horoscope says to rise above his problems. And according to Bert's horoscope, he might find himself in a high place!
Cyril: You mean the mountains?
Lady Baden-Baden: Yes.
Ralph: I don't put much stalk in horoscopes Lady Baden-Baden, but I suppose it's as good place as any to start looking.
Lady Baden-Baden: The stars never lie! Just ask Knoxie.
Mr Knox Well, er...
Cyril: You mean the mountains?
Lady Baden-Baden: Yes.
Ralph: I don't put much stalk in horoscopes Lady Baden-Baden, but I suppose it's as good place as any to start looking.
Lady Baden-Baden: The stars never lie! Just ask Knoxie.
Mr Knox Well, er...
TV Show: The Raccoons
Mr Knox: I don't think consulting the charts will do any good my sweet.
Lady Baden-Baden: But Knoxie, you've always depended on my charts to guide you.
Mr Knox: Well my dear, you see I always made my own business descisions. I couldn't hurt your feelings by telling you that.
Cyril: Hmm... how interesting. Wonderful. My son's been out there all night while we've been looking in the wrong place.
Lady Baden-Baden: Oh Cyril! I thought... I thought I was helping.
Ralph: No one's blaming you Lady Baden-Baden. The mountains were as good a place to look as any. But where do we look for Bert and Cedric now? It's a big forest out there.
Lady Baden-Baden: But Knoxie, you've always depended on my charts to guide you.
Mr Knox: Well my dear, you see I always made my own business descisions. I couldn't hurt your feelings by telling you that.
Cyril: Hmm... how interesting. Wonderful. My son's been out there all night while we've been looking in the wrong place.
Lady Baden-Baden: Oh Cyril! I thought... I thought I was helping.
Ralph: No one's blaming you Lady Baden-Baden. The mountains were as good a place to look as any. But where do we look for Bert and Cedric now? It's a big forest out there.
TV Show: The Raccoons
Bert: (Reading from a book) "Dating made easy in 500 easy lessons". That doesn't sound easy to me!
TV Show: The Raccoons
Bentley: (looking through some comic books) Wow! You've got Fog Man #1! The Undesirables! The Caped Kid, and The Mole Lady!
Bert: (who is smartening his appearence) Hey Bentley, what do you think?
Bentley: I think you look like one of the Undesirables!
Bert: (who is smartening his appearence) Hey Bentley, what do you think?
Bentley: I think you look like one of the Undesirables!
TV Show: The Raccoons
Pig Three: JP and Knox are inside the athletic club Boss.
Cyril: I can't picture Knox doing pushups!
Pig Three: Oh my... they were here!
Pig One: The steam bath boss! They must be in there!
Cyril: (walking into steam room) Good work boys. You'll get a raise for this.
Pig Three: A raise!
Cyril: JP? JP Gordon? Have I got something for you!
Lady: (horrified) Oh, there's a man in here!!!
Pig Three: Oops... so much for our raise.
Cyril: I can't picture Knox doing pushups!
Pig Three: Oh my... they were here!
Pig One: The steam bath boss! They must be in there!
Cyril: (walking into steam room) Good work boys. You'll get a raise for this.
Pig Three: A raise!
Cyril: JP? JP Gordon? Have I got something for you!
Lady: (horrified) Oh, there's a man in here!!!
Pig Three: Oops... so much for our raise.
TV Show: The Raccoons
Bert: Ralph?
Ralph: Yeah Bert?
Bert: Ever have a girlfriend?
Ralph: Sure did pal.
Bert: What happened?
Ralph: I married her!
Ralph: Yeah Bert?
Bert: Ever have a girlfriend?
Ralph: Sure did pal.
Bert: What happened?
Ralph: I married her!
TV Show: The Raccoons
Cyril: Alright, I'm through pussyfooting around! We're going to tunnel into Knox's mansion!
Pig Three: Oh, Lady Baden-Baden won't like that Boss. You know how she hates muddy footprints all over the house.
Pig Three: Oh, Lady Baden-Baden won't like that Boss. You know how she hates muddy footprints all over the house.
TV Show: The Raccoons
Ralph: Honestly, if I hear that love song one more time...
Melissa: Oh come on Ralph! Don't you remember what your first crush felt like?
Ralph: Yeah, I had a hard time getting over it. But I wrote poetry. It's quieter!
Melissa: Oh come on Ralph! Don't you remember what your first crush felt like?
Ralph: Yeah, I had a hard time getting over it. But I wrote poetry. It's quieter!
TV Show: The Raccoons
Lady Baden-Baden: Why, I've just found out that the Sneers were one of the first to leave the old country and settle here.
Cyril: One of the Sneers' greatest tax dodges!
Cyril: One of the Sneers' greatest tax dodges!
TV Show: The Raccoons
Pig One: How could the boss do this to us, forget the names of his own parents!?
Pig Two: Well, he always forgets our payday.
Pig Two: Well, he always forgets our payday.
TV Show: The Raccoons
Pig One: ...And the key word is "please". When I snap my fingers you will remain in a trance, but will open your eyes and do only as we say.
Pig Two: Oh, oh! Ask him, ask him!
Pig One: Ahem. Boss? We would like a raise, please?
Pig Two: Mom always said the magic word works wonders!
Pig Two: Oh, oh! Ask him, ask him!
Pig One: Ahem. Boss? We would like a raise, please?
Pig Two: Mom always said the magic word works wonders!
TV Show: The Raccoons
Pig One: Oh no! We're really doomed!
Pig Two: Yeah, the boss hates a dirty car!
Pig Two: Yeah, the boss hates a dirty car!
TV Show: The Raccoons
Cedric: I thought I'd lost you there Pop.
Cyril: We Sneers don't disappear as easily as that. And we've got hundreds of years of history to prove it son!
Cedric: I know that Pop... even if I'm not a real Sneer.
Cyril: What are you talking about?
Cedric: It's okay Pop, you don't have to keep it a secret anymore. I know I'm adopted.
Cyril: Wha... where'd you get that crazy idea? No wait. You're not adopted son. I'm the one who's adopted.
Bert: Cyril Sneer... adopted?
Pig Two: Does that make our contract invalid?
Cyril: We Sneers don't disappear as easily as that. And we've got hundreds of years of history to prove it son!
Cedric: I know that Pop... even if I'm not a real Sneer.
Cyril: What are you talking about?
Cedric: It's okay Pop, you don't have to keep it a secret anymore. I know I'm adopted.
Cyril: Wha... where'd you get that crazy idea? No wait. You're not adopted son. I'm the one who's adopted.
Bert: Cyril Sneer... adopted?
Pig Two: Does that make our contract invalid?
TV Show: The Raccoons
Cyril: Well son, times were different then. Being adopted was sometimes kept a secret.
Cedric: But why couldn't you tell me?
Cyril: Well I wanted to. But I kept putting it off. The longer I waited the harder it got. I guess I was afraid you'd think I wasn't a real Sneer.
Cedric: Gee Pop, as far as I'm concerned you're the greatest Sneer ever!
Cyril: Thanks son. That means a lot to me.
Cedric: But why couldn't you tell me?
Cyril: Well I wanted to. But I kept putting it off. The longer I waited the harder it got. I guess I was afraid you'd think I wasn't a real Sneer.
Cedric: Gee Pop, as far as I'm concerned you're the greatest Sneer ever!
Cyril: Thanks son. That means a lot to me.
TV Show: The Raccoons
Ralph: You designed this vault Cedric. What are Tromboni's chances?
Cedric: Well if I were him I'd pack a lunch!
Cedric: Well if I were him I'd pack a lunch!
TV Show: The Raccoons
Cyril: I invested a fortune developing this vault, and it's got as many holes as a Swiss cheese! I might as well install a turnstile in the darn thing!
TV Show: The Raccoons
Knox: A truly spectacular show, wasn't it Mr Sneer?
Cyril: Terrific!
Knox: Anyway, you'll be pleased to hear I have decided to purchase one of your vaults.
Cyril: But Tromboni got out of it!
Knox: My dear Mr Sneer, surely you are aware that magic is the art of illusion. What you see is not necessarily what happens. Can I expect delivery of the vault tomorrow?
Cyril: Sure Knox. But what you saw is not necessarily what you're going to get.
Cyril: Terrific!
Knox: Anyway, you'll be pleased to hear I have decided to purchase one of your vaults.
Cyril: But Tromboni got out of it!
Knox: My dear Mr Sneer, surely you are aware that magic is the art of illusion. What you see is not necessarily what happens. Can I expect delivery of the vault tomorrow?
Cyril: Sure Knox. But what you saw is not necessarily what you're going to get.
TV Show: The Raccoons
Bert: Hey, there it is guys! The old place never looked better to me! What a sight!
Bentley: What a dump.
Bentley: What a dump.
TV Show: The Raccoons
Bentley: Wow, this is it? My locker's bigger than this place! Where's the cafeteria? Where are the science labs? Where are the computer rooms? What can anybody possibly learn in this place? Whoops! (he accidentally knocks over a globe)
Miss Primrose: Perhaps we could learn some manners young man. And we don't charge in tracking in mud and disrupting my schoolhouse, even if it is being closed down... forever.
Cedric: Closed?
Bert: Forever?
Miss Primrose: Perhaps we could learn some manners young man. And we don't charge in tracking in mud and disrupting my schoolhouse, even if it is being closed down... forever.
Cedric: Closed?
Bert: Forever?
TV Show: The Raccoons
Cyril: (Reading a letter) I owe taxes on all of this? This inventory list is an invention! How can the tax department do this to a humble millionaire like me?
TV Show: The Raccoons
Pig Three: We were planning to practice our tennis serves.
Cyril: If you don't get out to that warehouse I'll serve you... with apples in your mouths!
Cyril: If you don't get out to that warehouse I'll serve you... with apples in your mouths!
TV Show: The Raccoons
Pig One: How could the boss fire us like that?
Pig Two: We never even got the chance to make up any excuses!
Pig Three: We never even got the chance to make any lunch!
Pigs One and Two: LUNCH?!?
Pig Two: We never even got the chance to make up any excuses!
Pig Three: We never even got the chance to make any lunch!
Pigs One and Two: LUNCH?!?
TV Show: The Raccoons
Cyril: Let's see what your conditions of employment are. Hmm. Statuatory holidays off, a 40 hour work week, two weeks holidays a year? What do you think this is? An executive position?
TV Show: The Raccoons
Cyril: (In disguise) Cyril Sneer is going to be harder to find than a mechanic on a weekend!
TV Show: The Raccoons
Bentley: I guess everyone gets nervous going to a new school, don't they Miss Primrose?
Miss Primrose: (weeps) Oh Bentley, I don't want to leave this place!
Miss Primrose: (weeps) Oh Bentley, I don't want to leave this place!
TV Show: The Raccoons
Cedric: (About his cakes) I hope the bumping around didn't ruin something.
Cyril: I certainly hope not!
Cedric: Pop! What are you doing here?
Cyril: Oh, I had to get out of the house. I thought I'd drop by. But what are you doing at the schoolhouse?
Cedric: I tried to tell you Pop. We're holding a fundraiser to save this school from closing down!
Cyril: ' Closing down! The old school hasn't changed much in all these years.
Cedric: That's the problem Pop.
Cyril: I certainly hope not!
Cedric: Pop! What are you doing here?
Cyril: Oh, I had to get out of the house. I thought I'd drop by. But what are you doing at the schoolhouse?
Cedric: I tried to tell you Pop. We're holding a fundraiser to save this school from closing down!
Cyril: ' Closing down! The old school hasn't changed much in all these years.
Cedric: That's the problem Pop.
TV Show: The Raccoons
Cyril: Why, what's this?
Ralph: Whoo hoo hoo? Poor kid who had to wear that ridiculous costume?
Cyril: I wore it. In the Easter play.
Ralph: Oh? Well, what do I know about fashion?
Ralph: Whoo hoo hoo? Poor kid who had to wear that ridiculous costume?
Cyril: I wore it. In the Easter play.
Ralph: Oh? Well, what do I know about fashion?
TV Show: The Raccoons
Bert: Gee, we're really going to miss you around here.
Ralph: Are you sure you have to go?
Miss Primrose: I'm afraid so boys. I've given it a lot of thought and I know now I was just afraid of facing something new. So I'm off to City Collegit to learn more about the new fangled technology Bentley has been showing me. I'm going to be a teacher and a student. After all, someone has to run the new Evergreen Elementary and the Cyril Sneer Wing when it's built. Right?
All: All right!
Bentley: Come on Miss Primrose! Let's get going! I want to look around our new school, 'cos we're going to be the new faces this year!
Ralph: Are you sure you have to go?
Miss Primrose: I'm afraid so boys. I've given it a lot of thought and I know now I was just afraid of facing something new. So I'm off to City Collegit to learn more about the new fangled technology Bentley has been showing me. I'm going to be a teacher and a student. After all, someone has to run the new Evergreen Elementary and the Cyril Sneer Wing when it's built. Right?
All: All right!
Bentley: Come on Miss Primrose! Let's get going! I want to look around our new school, 'cos we're going to be the new faces this year!
TV Show: The Raccoons
Pig Two: Do you think we'll ever move up in this business?
Pig One: I know we will. When we're done this the boss wants us to shingle the roof!
Pig One: I know we will. When we're done this the boss wants us to shingle the roof!
TV Show: The Raccoons