The Raccoons Quotes
Pigs: Boss! Boss!
Cyril: Well? Did you find him?
Pig One: Yes sir, we followed the girl like you said and...
Pig Two: He's with The Raccoons!
Cyril: The Raccoons? I should of known! Their the ones who put him up to this!
Pig One: But sir...
Cyril: Those meddlesome roddents are a bad influence! Thave got the poor kid brain washed!
Pig One: But sir, you were the one who made him retire. You were the one who... (Cyril glares at him) ...heh, heh, em, saw through The Raccoons all along.
Cyril: And don't you ever forget it!
Cyril: Well? Did you find him?
Pig One: Yes sir, we followed the girl like you said and...
Pig Two: He's with The Raccoons!
Cyril: The Raccoons? I should of known! Their the ones who put him up to this!
Pig One: But sir...
Cyril: Those meddlesome roddents are a bad influence! Thave got the poor kid brain washed!
Pig One: But sir, you were the one who made him retire. You were the one who... (Cyril glares at him) ...heh, heh, em, saw through The Raccoons all along.
Cyril: And don't you ever forget it!
TV Show: The Raccoons
Cyril's Lullaby: A dollar for your thoughts, my son. See money while you sleep. Watch them jump the fence instead of silly sheep. As each dollar earns it's wings, snatch it from the air. Do this a million times my son, and you'll be a millionaire.
TV Show: The Raccoons
Pig One: The last time I dug this deep was to pay off a stack of Parking tickets!
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Cedric: Pop! It's just a harmless adventure!
Cyril: Adventure? There's no adventure in a treasure that isn't collecting 12 and a quarter percent per annum!
Cyril: Adventure? There's no adventure in a treasure that isn't collecting 12 and a quarter percent per annum!
TV Show: The Raccoons
Cedric: Oh no! Removing the treasure's setting off the traps! I thought you said they wouldn't work!
Bert: I guess I can't be right all the time...
Bert: I guess I can't be right all the time...
TV Show: The Raccoons
(As Cyril and the pigs escape down the river with the treasure, their motor breaks down)
Cyril: What in blazes is going on??
Pig Two: It appears it's given up the ghost, sir!
Cyril: You'll be ghosts if you don't get this barge moving!!!
Cyril: What in blazes is going on??
Pig Two: It appears it's given up the ghost, sir!
Cyril: You'll be ghosts if you don't get this barge moving!!!
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Pig Two: No-one can outsmart the security system!
Cyril: I can! I can outsmart anything, including myself!
Cyril: I can! I can outsmart anything, including myself!
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Cyril: (To Pig One) You know, you would look good with an apple in your mouth!
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Bert: Say, this slide is kind of fun!
Cyril: Tell it to the alligators at the bottom!
Cyril: Tell it to the alligators at the bottom!
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Cyril: They sold this garbage to me as the ultimate security system? AARGH! It's lucky you're not paid for yet!
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Cyril: Help you break into my own vault? What do you think I am, a complete idiot?
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Melissa: It's my prints!
Bert: Tell him if the glass slipper's too big, he can borrow my hockey socks!
Bert: Tell him if the glass slipper's too big, he can borrow my hockey socks!
TV Show: The Raccoons
Cyril: (About the Standard) Cut the banter, bandit face! Who's responsible for this?!
Ralph: I am!
Melissa: I am!
Bert: Uh-uh-uh, they are!
Ralph: I am!
Melissa: I am!
Bert: Uh-uh-uh, they are!
TV Show: The Raccoons
Cedric: Pop! You subscribed to the Evergreen Standard?
Cyril: Of course! It's a daily pleasure I wouldn't miss!
Pig Two: Which section would you like today sir?
Cyril: Well, let's start with 'Ask Bert'! (he tears the page out, throws it on the fire and laughs)
Cyril: Of course! It's a daily pleasure I wouldn't miss!
Pig Two: Which section would you like today sir?
Cyril: Well, let's start with 'Ask Bert'! (he tears the page out, throws it on the fire and laughs)
TV Show: The Raccoons
Bert: What did I tell you? See, see? I bet that guy has a submachine gun!
Ralph: That's a violin case Bert.
Bert: But they always put machine guns in violin cases! Everyone knows that!
Ralph: That's a violin case Bert.
Bert: But they always put machine guns in violin cases! Everyone knows that!
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Bear: Your hot chocolate, sir.
Cyril: I've had my hot chocolate! I've had my hot bath! And I still can't sleep! I haven't slept for a week!
Cyril: I've had my hot chocolate! I've had my hot bath! And I still can't sleep! I haven't slept for a week!
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Cyril: I want to hear a real story! Give me King Midas. I want to hear about Midas and his wonderful golden touch!
Bert: Once upon a time there was king with a golden touch.
Cyril: (thinking) Ooh, I like that. My kind of man!
Bert: Everything he touched turned to gold.
Cyril: (thinking) Good, good!
Bert: His cities were gold, his streets were gold.
Cyril: (thinking) Marvelous! Marvelous!
Bert: In fact, his whole kingdom was paved with gold. He even paved the forest with gold. What do you think of that?
Pig Two: Oh that's nothing! We're going to do that tomorrow - with cement!
Bert: Once upon a time there was king with a golden touch.
Cyril: (thinking) Ooh, I like that. My kind of man!
Bert: Everything he touched turned to gold.
Cyril: (thinking) Good, good!
Bert: His cities were gold, his streets were gold.
Cyril: (thinking) Marvelous! Marvelous!
Bert: In fact, his whole kingdom was paved with gold. He even paved the forest with gold. What do you think of that?
Pig Two: Oh that's nothing! We're going to do that tomorrow - with cement!
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Cyril: What? What the devil? You're not Auntie Bertha! You're a raccoon. What kind of weirdo are you anyway?"
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Cyril: Can't you bears speed it up? If you were any slower you'd be unionised! I want this mansion to make the Taj Mahal look like a toolshed!
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Bert: Now I'll be Sir Bert! Defender of the feeble, champion of the weak and employee of the month! The shining knight of the Evergreen Forest!
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Ralph: (whispering) What's going on?
Melissa: (whispering) I don't know Ralph. But make like it's part of the play. The show must go on. (Speaks to audience) I have the most wonderful news! The royal family is coming to our forest.
Ralph: The royal family? Coming to our forest? How soon do they arrive?
Cyril: Er, um, I don't know. They should be here in a few minutes... unless they stopped for some last minute shopping!
Ralph: What?! Er, last minute shopping?
Melissa: They're coming to bestow a special honour on one of our own! It's to be a surprise!
Cyril: You're telling me.
Ralph: Er, what brings you, fair knight, to our forest?
Cyril: I was just in the neighbourhood... I er... I just thought I'd drop by. (he slips and falls over, causing the audience to laugh)
Melissa: (whispering) I don't know Ralph. But make like it's part of the play. The show must go on. (Speaks to audience) I have the most wonderful news! The royal family is coming to our forest.
Ralph: The royal family? Coming to our forest? How soon do they arrive?
Cyril: Er, um, I don't know. They should be here in a few minutes... unless they stopped for some last minute shopping!
Ralph: What?! Er, last minute shopping?
Melissa: They're coming to bestow a special honour on one of our own! It's to be a surprise!
Cyril: You're telling me.
Ralph: Er, what brings you, fair knight, to our forest?
Cyril: I was just in the neighbourhood... I er... I just thought I'd drop by. (he slips and falls over, causing the audience to laugh)
TV Show: The Raccoons