The Show Quotes

Sally Rogers: Nah, it's just like my Aunt Agnes always says, "It's better to get a rose from a casual friend than to get a can of succotash from a hoodlum."

Movie: The Show
Sally Rogers: Well, I finally met him.

Rob Petrie: Who?

Sally Rogers: Buddy's wife's cousin.

Rob Petrie: How was he?

Sally Rogers: You ever heard of "The Untouchables"? He was more of like of one of the "unbearables".

Movie: The Show
Scooter: George Burns. George Burns. Twenty seconds to curtain, Mr. Burns.

George Burns: I'm ready.
[noticing Gonzo playing a violin behind him]

George Burns: Excuse me, but... But what is *that*?

The Great Gonzo: [playing violin] It's my new act. Gonzo fiddles while George Burns.

George Burns: I like that joke. It's a pleasure to hear something that's older than I am.

Movie: The Show
Sidekicks Pat Buttram: You gotta put me away, Sheriff! I'm dangerous. I can't face life; I can't go on - not after what I done to those poor men - doin' away with three men and robbin' 'em of two dollars.

Bearded Deputy: You did away with three men for two dollars?

Sidekicks Pat Buttram: Well, two dollars here and two dollars there - it soon mounts up.

Movie: The Show
Tarzan: Tarzan know you make whoopie with Marlin Perkins!

Jane: It was only one night in his tent... while Jim worked his way down the river.

Tarzan: Tarzan know better! You known as... Easy Country Safari!

Movie: The Show
Theodore 'Theo' Huxtable: Now, when I left here yesterday, it was under some strain, and we all said some things we didn't mean.

Clair Hanks Huxtable: Not me.

Theodore 'Theo' Huxtable: But, it's all over now, and I'm sure we're all big enough to apologize!

Clair Hanks Huxtable: NOT ME!

Movie: The Show
Traveller: I say, is this Platt's Bottom?

Toddy: No, it's not, it's mine!

Traveller: Well, where do I find Platt's Bottom?

Toddy: Well, you don't start from there!

Traveller: Well, which direction is it?

Toddy: I don't know.

Paddy: Me neither.

Traveller: You're not very bright, are you?

Chirpy Chuckles: No, but we ain't lost!

Movie: The Show
Troy the Accordian player: Is this Heaven?

Brendan Leonard: No, it's the Brendan Leonard Show

Movie: The Show
Various Characters: Are you a farmer miss? You a farmer miss? You old McDonald miss? You old McDonald, innit.

Teacher: No, Lauren you know very well I am not a farmer, now enough of this.

Various Characters: Well, I'm not being funny or nuffink, miss, but you do smell like a farmer.

Movie: The Show
Virginia O'Brien: Why, Ed, what are you doing here?

Ed Wynn: What are you doing here?

Virginia O'Brien: Well, what are you doing here?

Ed Wynn: What are *you* doing here?

Virginia O'Brien: Well, what are you doing here?

Ed Wynn: [to audience] I guess she forgot her line, too.

Movie: The Show
Woman: I said quilt, not kilt.

Movie: The Show
Andy: Got peas on my head, but don't call me a pea head / Bees on my head, but don't call me a bee head / Bruce Lee's on my head, but don't call me a Lee head / Now please excuse me I gots to get my tree fed / You wear name brands and I make my own clothing/ I hang out with an apple who loves self loathing / I hate myself / Pancake on my face makes me extra happy / I like shampoo bottles that sit on my lappy / 'Cause it's my show you can't tell me what to do / When life hands me lemons, I make beef stew / So yo I gotta go it's time for me to rock it / I put balogna in my left pocket / Smear some cream cheese in my gold locket / 'Cause it's my show I'm Andy Milonakis / It's my show I'm Shmandy Smiloshmakis / It's my show, I'm Andy Milonakis.

Movie: The Show
Basil Brush: [Basil and Mr Stephen are in a Dojo where Basil is instructing Mr Stephen in self-defence] Empty your mind.

Mr Stephen: Done.

Basil Brush: That was quick.

Movie: The Show
Brad Braden: [while Buttons is doing first aid] Buttons! If that detective sees you doing this, he won't need *fingerprints*!

Movie: The Show
Brice: Traffic is everywhere.

Movie: The Show
Ellen: Who needs sleep? I laugh in the face of sleep!

Movie: The Show
Housewife: No, I'm wearing black for my poor, departed husband.

Milkman: Oh... how long's he been gone?

Housewife: Ten minutes. He won't be back till 1.

Movie: The Show
Hulk: Hulk love pet. Hulk name pet... uh, uh, PLANT!

Iron Man: Good, cuz that's what it is. Now, to care for it, first you have to give your plant plenty of sun.

Hulk: Mmm? Ya, ya, ya!
[tosses plant out Helicarrier window into sunlight]

Hulk: Now Plant get plenty of sun!

Iron Man: Okay. So much more green thumbs.
[hands Hulk new flower]

Iron Man: Here, your plant will also need water.
[Hulk rips plumbing from floor and waters flowers]

Iron Man: Oh...

Movie: The Show
Iron Man: [as an iron] Feel the power of Iron Man! On cotton setting!

Movie: The Show
Jacy Farrow: [to Duane, as they're leaving motel room after having sex] Oh, quit prissing. I don't think you done it right, anyway.

Movie: The Show
Kari, Slumber Party Girl: Say, William, Mr. Manchester. How long have you and Francesca's father been together?

William: Eight wonderful years.

Kari, Slumber Party Girl: Just curious, but how did you two meet?

William: We met at a Halloween costume party that Dave's firm threw for all his clients. We both showed up dressed as Marie Antoinette. It was a scream!

Movie: The Show
Mannequin Farrah: I just hate being that Farrah girl. This hair weighs a ton!
Mannequin Cher: That's nothing. How would you like to lug around this nose for two months?

Movie: The Show
[to Holly, as his blood is being transfused into Brad]

Sebastian: If he should make love well after this, pay no attention - it will be me.

Movie: The Show
[title sequence]

Announcer: "The Roy Rogers Show," starring Roy Rogers, King of the Cowboys; Trigger, his golden palomino; and Dale Evans, Queen of the West; with Pat Brady, his comical sidekick; and Roy's wonder dog, Bullet.

Movie: The Show
[the heroes are beating at Galactus' foot]

Hulk: Purple man strong.

Wolverine: But?

Hulk: But Hulk... Uh, Hulk don't know what. Purple man just really strong.

Wolverine: Really, Hulk? For a guy with such a limited vocabulary, letting one of your two-catch phrases slip by just seem wrong.

Hulk: Hulk don't understand.

Movie: The Show
Adam Rogers: Life is precious, make the most of it.

Movie: The Show