The Surreal Life Quotes
Dave Coulier: [on meeting his housemates] I had to learn two new languages that day - Charo and Flavor Flav!
TV Show: The Surreal Life
Omarosa Manigault-Stallworth: [about Jose] My, my, what steroids can do to a body! That man is *hot*!
TV Show: The Surreal Life
Ron Jeremy: So, I'm gonna throw a party for a bunch of my porn star friends!
TV Show: The Surreal Life
Traci Bingham: Trishelle, sweetie, I don't think you're grown up enough to have a life style - but I do.
Trishelle Cannatella: Whatever, bitch.
Trishelle Cannatella: Whatever, bitch.
TV Show: The Surreal Life
[Dave Coulier shows Flavor Flav a pair of binoculars]
Flavor Flav: You can go and sneak up on Brigitte cause she be having the knockers laying down on her chest, kid. For real. [Looks through binoculars]
Flavor Flav: Uh oh, Brigitte, I see you, G.
Flavor Flav: You can go and sneak up on Brigitte cause she be having the knockers laying down on her chest, kid. For real. [Looks through binoculars]
Flavor Flav: Uh oh, Brigitte, I see you, G.
TV Show: The Surreal Life
[Flavor Flav sees Brigitte Nielson holding the dog while topless]
Flavor Flav: What are you doing, breast feeding the dog?
Flavor Flav: What are you doing, breast feeding the dog?
TV Show: The Surreal Life
Ron Jeremy: So, I'm gonna throw a party for a bunch of my porn star friends!
TV Show: The Surreal Life
Brigitte Nielsen: [after looking at Flavor Flav's gold teeth] That is ridiculous.
TV Show: The Surreal Life
Traci Bingham: Trishelle, sweetie, I don't think you're grown up enough to have a life style - but I do.
Trishelle Cannatella: Whatever, bitch.
TV Show: The Surreal Life
Bronson Pinchot: [about Janice] This is a *plastic* vagina. Get a real vagina!
TV Show: The Surreal Life
Bronson Pinchot: Have you ever had an abdomen massage?
Caprice Bourret: No. I think it's weird.
Bronson Pinchot: First time for everything...
Caprice Bourret: No. It's weird.
Bronson Pinchot: Come on, just turn over.
Caprice Bourret: Weird.
Bronson Pinchot: Please?
Caprice Bourret: Weird.
Bronson Pinchot: What about now?
Caprice Bourret: Super weird.
Bronson Pinchot: Don't you want a massage?
Caprice Bourret: Super weird.
Bronson Pinchot: Do you want a massage... now?
Caprice Bourret: No. You're a freak.
Bronson Pinchot: Come on, Caprice!
Caprice Bourret: Freak.
Bronson Pinchot: All right, I'm coming down.
Caprice Bourret: You're a freak.
TV Show: The Surreal Life
Bronson Pinchot: The last time I saw a cowboy with that many tattoos, I was at a Cher concert!
TV Show: The Surreal Life
Charo: [about Flavor Flav] I am psychic, and whatever he's telling me, I know he's full of sh*t.
TV Show: The Surreal Life
Charo: [about Ryan Starr] She didn't want to sleep with Brigitte Nielsen because she's a crazy bitch.
TV Show: The Surreal Life
Charo: [after seeing the electric chair in the electroshock therapy room] I was terrified to see the electric chair. You know why? Think about it! How many people been electrified in this chair. It's not a toy. It's the chair that alot of people have been sit down there, close their eyes and get roasted.
TV Show: The Surreal Life
Charo: [On being separated from Jordan to go investigate the electroshock therapy room] If you leave me here alone that's the end of my... of me. I'm a chicken, Doctor. I have a big mouth that's all it is, but I'm a chicken.
TV Show: The Surreal Life
Charo: [on meeting Flavor Flav] The first few minutes, I didn't put it together that it was Flavor Flake.
TV Show: The Surreal Life
Charo: [the cast has just learned they will be assisting parapsychologist Dr. Larry Montz in determining if an abandoned mental hospital is haunted] People alive don't understand me. How in the world a ghost is going to understand me?
Dr. Larry Montz: Because they communicate more telepathically than verbally, so they're not going to be worried about your accent.
Charo: Oh. [Laughs nervously]
TV Show: The Surreal Life
Charo: [trying to get out of Flava Flav's arms in bed] Uh-uh, no spooning. Because spooning leads to forking.
TV Show: The Surreal Life
Charo: [while standing in an elevator shaft where a patient was allegedly crushed to death] I hear the guy, okay? I'm sorry for him, but I want... I... I want to be alive.
TV Show: The Surreal Life
Charo: Charo: [about her first conversation with Flavor Flav]
Charo: I'm psychic. So, I know whatever he's telling, he's full of shit.
TV Show: The Surreal Life
Charo: I'm walking around and I see Brigitte Neilsen with her big tits hanging around. [Screams]
Charo: Oh my God. I hope she doesn't think this is a surreal porno.
TV Show: The Surreal Life
Charo: The first impression I get when I walk into this house is Liberace with diarrhea, 1940.
TV Show: The Surreal Life
Sandra 'Pepa' Denton: Yeah, well, that's Janice. You never know where or *when* she's gonna stop!
TV Show: The Surreal Life