The Surreal Life Quotes
Jane Wiedlin: [Chyna Doll says she's leaving] Are you on crack? You can't leave!
TV Show: The Surreal Life
Dave Coulier: [on meeting his housemates] I had to learn two new languages that day - Charo and Flavor Flav!
TV Show: The Surreal Life
Dave Coulier: Brigitte is marching to the tune of her own drum, and that drummer has no clothes on.
TV Show: The Surreal Life
Dave Coulier: So Flav is planning on driving today.
Charo: Do you have a life insurance?
TV Show: The Surreal Life
Janice Dickinson: [Bronson is drilling nails] You're not drilling hard enough.
Bronson Pinchot: You know what, you said that to me last night... and it's very insulting.
TV Show: The Surreal Life
Janice Dickinson: [Omarosa sprays mousse in her hand, startling Janice] I thought something came out of her ass... like a poopy fart.
TV Show: The Surreal Life
Janice Dickinson: [to a mentally-challenged person] Hey, Rain Man!
Omarosa Manigault-Stallworth: I can not even *fathom* someone making fun of a mentally-challenged person.
TV Show: The Surreal Life
Janice Dickinson: [to the guy at McDonald's] Don't tell anyone that I eat this stuff, it'll ruin my image. Although, my friend Naomi Campbell loves to eat here.
TV Show: The Surreal Life
Janice Dickinson: Omarosa comes walking out like she's some kind of supermodel! Omarosa looks like Rick James' Siamese twin.
TV Show: The Surreal Life
M.C. Hammer: Even if I did have the worst upset stomach, it would have been done in 5 minutes. I'm a professional.
Corey Feldman: Your a professional crapper?
TV Show: The Surreal Life
Vanilla Ice: [after someone rejects their cookies] We're in the middle of fucking America lady! Buy some fucking cookies!
Tammy Faye Bakker: Oh God.
TV Show: The Surreal Life
Christopher Knight: [making a movie] Jane... I don't think there's time for that. We should just get to rehearsing.
Jane Wiedlin: [annoyed] Okay, Chris, I know you're trying to help and you've had more experience in directing than I've had... but if you could butt out, that be nice.
TV Show: The Surreal Life
Marcus Schenkenberg: This is salty, like the pee of my sister!
Adrianne Curry: ...
Marcus Schenkenberg: I'm just guessing.
TV Show: The Surreal Life
Verne Troyer: [after seeing Adrianne naked, under sushi] I thought... wow... Jesus... this is heaven.
TV Show: The Surreal Life
Jose Canseco: [jokingly] Oh, yes. I think I'm going to have to victimize these ladies.
TV Show: The Surreal Life
Jose Canseco: [while getting dressed for a strip show, Jose decides to put on something tiny that will reveal his genitals] I'll wear this.
Caprice Bourret: That's gonna go over your wiener?
Caprice Bourret: You sure you wanna go there?
Jose Canseco: If I'm gonna strip, I at least have to do it right.
Caprice Bourret: Jose is definitely not afraid to show his female side.
TV Show: The Surreal Life