The Tick (live-action) Quotes
[The Tick delivers an unscheduled eulogy at the funeral of the Immortal, a world-famous superhero.]
Tick: Death: the eternal blink. The capricious dance of now-you-stopped moving-forever. Well, contrary to popular belief, death is not just for dead people. It can happen to anybody. I know... it's news to me too.
Tick: Death: the eternal blink. The capricious dance of now-you-stopped moving-forever. Well, contrary to popular belief, death is not just for dead people. It can happen to anybody. I know... it's news to me too.
TV Show: The Tick (live-action)
Batmanuel: I'm sorry, but it's just not cool.
Arthur: Well, who made you the arbiter of cool?
Batmanuel: It is Batmanuel's divine mission. He can do nothing about it.
Arthur: Well, who made you the arbiter of cool?
Batmanuel: It is Batmanuel's divine mission. He can do nothing about it.
TV Show: The Tick (live-action)
Liberty: My God, Tick! What planet are you living on?
Tick: Plant Me.
Liberty: Planet Stupid!
Batmanuel: Hey, don't take this out on the Tick! HE is not the one who took a national treasure to bed and then killed him with his pink secrets!
Tick: Plant Me.
Liberty: Planet Stupid!
Batmanuel: Hey, don't take this out on the Tick! HE is not the one who took a national treasure to bed and then killed him with his pink secrets!
TV Show: The Tick (live-action)
The Tick: Life is your chance, Arthur! Grab it! Squeeze the milk of life into your dirty glass and drink it warm.
TV Show: The Tick (live-action)
Batmanuel: If you had asked out that girl at the Panda when I told you, you would be on a date right now instead of riding around in the makeshift hearse of your childhood hero! Just something to think about for next time.
TV Show: The Tick (live-action)
[The Tick's funeral oration continues.]
Tick: Well, just for kicks, let's look at the word "funeral". Starts with the word "fun", doesn't it? All I see out there are a bunch of sad faces. Now the Grim Reaper is an ugly customer, I'll grant you that — but you know who's worse? Mister Mope!
Tick: Well, just for kicks, let's look at the word "funeral". Starts with the word "fun", doesn't it? All I see out there are a bunch of sad faces. Now the Grim Reaper is an ugly customer, I'll grant you that — but you know who's worse? Mister Mope!
TV Show: The Tick (live-action)
[After a (possibly imaginary) pep-talk from the dead Immortal, Arthur approaches the girl he was too shy to ask out at the Panda earlier.]
Arthur: Look, I'll probably be arrested soon... and after that, of course, I'll be dead. But before all that happens, I just wanted to say... hi.
Arthur: Look, I'll probably be arrested soon... and after that, of course, I'll be dead. But before all that happens, I just wanted to say... hi.
TV Show: The Tick (live-action)
[Government personnel at the Immortal's funeral have realized that the Tick isn't a scheduled speaker.]
Military Aide: the MP's are ready to tackle him off the stage, sir.
General: Belay that for the moment. I'm starting to like the cut of this man's gibberish.
Military Aide: the MP's are ready to tackle him off the stage, sir.
General: Belay that for the moment. I'm starting to like the cut of this man's gibberish.
TV Show: The Tick (live-action)
[The Tick talks to reporters outside the courtroom.]
Tick: This is nothing more than a salty slab of justice jerky — cut and dried!
Tick: This is nothing more than a salty slab of justice jerky — cut and dried!
TV Show: The Tick (live-action)
Tick: Why is that fella wearing a dress?
Arthur: [whispering] Because he's the judge.
Tick: Well, I judge him and find him funny!
Arthur: [whispering] Because he's the judge.
Tick: Well, I judge him and find him funny!
TV Show: The Tick (live-action)
[In a flashback, the heroes encounter the armored supervillain Destroyo.]
Tick: Could be nothin'... could be the stench of unfathomable evil.
...
[Destroyo is bullying Batmanuel.]
Tick: Hey, Bossy! Why don't you try that on somebody my size?
Destroyo: Do you know who I am?
Tick: Yeah, I know who you are, Destinko. Why don't you curl up your metal mitts into fists — 'cause you face the Tick!
Destroyo: I will destroy you!
Tick: Bring it on, crap-lobster!
Tick: Could be nothin'... could be the stench of unfathomable evil.
...
[Destroyo is bullying Batmanuel.]
Tick: Hey, Bossy! Why don't you try that on somebody my size?
Destroyo: Do you know who I am?
Tick: Yeah, I know who you are, Destinko. Why don't you curl up your metal mitts into fists — 'cause you face the Tick!
Destroyo: I will destroy you!
Tick: Bring it on, crap-lobster!
TV Show: The Tick (live-action)
Tick: Aaaaah... my head feels like-like it's gonna have a baby!
Arthur: It's called a headache.
Tick: It has a NAME?!?
[Arthur pours some Asprin into Tick's hand. Tick pops them into his mouth and chews them.]
Tick: Ewwww! This is the worst tasting candy, ever!
Arthur: It's called a headache.
Tick: It has a NAME?!?
[Arthur pours some Asprin into Tick's hand. Tick pops them into his mouth and chews them.]
Tick: Ewwww! This is the worst tasting candy, ever!
TV Show: The Tick (live-action)
[From his cell, Destroyo plays mind games with Captain Liberty.]
Captain Liberty: Shut up. You don't know a thing about me.
Destroyo: On the contrary, Janet, I know all about you. You're a Barbie doll trying to fit into a world of G.I. Joes. Dressed in your special little outfit by the fevered hands of your sweaty Uncle Sam — the only man who ever stayed in your life — who taught you how to fight, but not how to love. And all those boys... all they care about is peeling off that costume to find out if the doll inside is anatomically correct.
Captain Liberty: Shut up. You don't know a thing about me.
Destroyo: On the contrary, Janet, I know all about you. You're a Barbie doll trying to fit into a world of G.I. Joes. Dressed in your special little outfit by the fevered hands of your sweaty Uncle Sam — the only man who ever stayed in your life — who taught you how to fight, but not how to love. And all those boys... all they care about is peeling off that costume to find out if the doll inside is anatomically correct.
TV Show: The Tick (live-action)
Batmanuel: This guy is great. He handles all my legal affairs.
Captain Liberty: What kind of legal affairs do you have?
Batmanuel: Batmanuel is mired in much litigation. For instance, I'm suing the makers of my codpiece. It was not properly fitted, causing severe shooting pains in my groin.
Capt. Liberty: Ouch.
Batmanuel: Yes — an "ouch" that will now cost them seven figures. Not that you can place a dollar amount on Batmanuel's groin area...
Captain Liberty: What kind of legal affairs do you have?
Batmanuel: Batmanuel is mired in much litigation. For instance, I'm suing the makers of my codpiece. It was not properly fitted, causing severe shooting pains in my groin.
Capt. Liberty: Ouch.
Batmanuel: Yes — an "ouch" that will now cost them seven figures. Not that you can place a dollar amount on Batmanuel's groin area...
TV Show: The Tick (live-action)
Captain Liberty: If you two were really my friends, you'd be supporting me instead of betraying me.
Tick: Captain Liberty, we are your friends... even though we're betraying you.
Tick: Captain Liberty, we are your friends... even though we're betraying you.
TV Show: The Tick (live-action)
[In the League of Superheroes smoking lounge, Tick contiues obsessing over one criminal's escape.]
Tick: Somewhere, that petty criminal is laughing at us, rolling in his ill-gotten booty. And he should laugh — 'cause we stink. Smells like everybody's smoking feet.
Tick: Somewhere, that petty criminal is laughing at us, rolling in his ill-gotten booty. And he should laugh — 'cause we stink. Smells like everybody's smoking feet.
TV Show: The Tick (live-action)
The Champion: We are the cream of the crop.
Tick: And the cream is white!
Tick: And the cream is white!
TV Show: The Tick (live-action)