The Trail to Oregon! Quotes
Son: Oh wait, hold on, listen, Mom, listen. Now I'm all for a quick skinny dip, but if we go in there, we could die. Remember what everyone in Independence said? Friends don't let friends ford the river.
Movie: The Trail to Oregon!
Baby Buffalo: [sings, crying]But when you wake up with blood on your dick [long pause]
Baby Buffalo: and you don't even know where it came fro - om...
Baby Buffalo: [Cries]Oh, god...
Baby Buffalo: [Angrily]Just do it, motherfu...
Baby Buffalo: and you don't even know where it came fro - om...
Baby Buffalo: [Cries]Oh, god...
Baby Buffalo: [Angrily]Just do it, motherfu...
Movie: The Trail to Oregon!
Mother: If given the chance to kill any one of us, who would choose one of the children?
Movie: The Trail to Oregon!
Son: Well, I guess it makes sense I'm the one dying of dysentery. I shouldn't have put all that shit in my mouth... especially that shit.
Movie: The Trail to Oregon!
Grandpa: And you... [looks at Father]
Grandpa: I have no idea who you are. Get the hell out of here, I'm trying to die with my family!
Grandpa: I have no idea who you are. Get the hell out of here, I'm trying to die with my family!
Movie: The Trail to Oregon!
Mother: And you, Jack Bauer. This is your family now. You have to lead them without me. And you can do it, you have changed.
Father: Really, I have?
Mother: Well... kind of. Uh, a little bit... well you know, enough to make me believe in you. But I swear if you backslide I will fly down from God's heaven and I will smack you into the devil's hell.
Father: Really, I have?
Mother: Well... kind of. Uh, a little bit... well you know, enough to make me believe in you. But I swear if you backslide I will fly down from God's heaven and I will smack you into the devil's hell.
Movie: The Trail to Oregon!
Father: Alright pioneers, what do you say? What would you like to name me, your wagon leader? [Audience yells names]
Father: What did you say? Ah, Jack Bauer. [sighs happily]
Father: What did you say? Ah, Jack Bauer. [sighs happily]
Movie: The Trail to Oregon!
Father: Look out, Oregon, 'cause here come the... I'm looking for a last name. [Audience member calls out something]
Father: The Dikrats.
Father: The Dikrats.
Movie: The Trail to Oregon!
Mother: [sings]Come on, Jack Bauer, the water's just right...
Father: Be right there, honey. [last lines]
Father: Be right there, honey. [last lines]
Movie: The Trail to Oregon!
Son: [sings, taking clothes off]Splashy, splashy, there's nothing more fun / Than dropping trou and getting some sun / You can skinny if you're fat or old / Put Marco Polo in a wrestling hold
Father: There's his penis.
Father: There's his penis.
Movie: The Trail to Oregon!
Horny Ox: Cricket. Cricket, Cricket... Cock-a-doodle-doo! Hoot hoot. Hoot Hoot... Cock-a-doodle-doo!
Daughter: Damn this is boring.
Daughter: Damn this is boring.
Movie: The Trail to Oregon!
McDoon: [sings]Your wagon is on fi - re! / Your wagon is aflame / Your wagon is on fi - re / It will never be the same!
Movie: The Trail to Oregon!