The Venture Bros. Quotes
(Hank watches the fight between Phantom Limb and David Bowie)
Hank: Whoa, check it! That's, like, Dracula versus Yoda in there!
Hank: Whoa, check it! That's, like, Dracula versus Yoda in there!
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Dr. Girlfriend: I'm fine! I was pinned under... I think it's Phantom Limb's leg...
The Monarch: Give it here! I want to kick his smug, limey face in with it.. (Monarch notices David Bowie moving into earshot as he said "limey") ....oh.....
The Monarch: Give it here! I want to kick his smug, limey face in with it.. (Monarch notices David Bowie moving into earshot as he said "limey") ....oh.....
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
David Bowie: Well, gotta run, luv! (kisses Doctor Girlfriend) Villainous coup to squash; Strangers to execute; you know how it is! Congratulations both of you! (shape changes into an eagle) Ta!
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
(David Bowie transforms into an eagle and flies away.)
Brock: Doc, you’re OK.
Doctor Venture: I swallowed a gold filling during the crash, so we have to hook up the metal detector to the toilet again. What did we miss?
Hank: The guy from Labyrinth turned into a bird!
Brock: Doc, you’re OK.
Doctor Venture: I swallowed a gold filling during the crash, so we have to hook up the metal detector to the toilet again. What did we miss?
Hank: The guy from Labyrinth turned into a bird!
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
#21: So The Sovereign recorded Station to Station?!
#24: And ChangesOne? I love that album!
#21: Could you be a bigger poseur? ChangesOne was a "best of"!
#24: And ChangesOne? I love that album!
#21: Could you be a bigger poseur? ChangesOne was a "best of"!
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Insect King: No! Not the ring of power! It's the only thing that can steal my black heart.
Dean Venture: Eat it!
[Dean begins randomly stabbing the Insect King]
Insect King: Ow-eeee that fucking hurts! Ow! Right down to the thorax, Dick! But it missed my Black heart.
Dean Venture: Die!
[Dean severes the Insect King's arm and leg]
Insect King: Ow, dude stop already, you're not even aiming for my black heart!
Dean Venture: I vanquish you!
Insect King: Come on, those are reproductive organs! Will you take the fucking hint and stab me in the heart already?!
Dean Venture: I got it! Your evil black heart is where your power comes from!
Insect King (feigning chagrin): Oh no, you have learned my terrible secret!
Dean Venture: Eat it!
[Dean begins randomly stabbing the Insect King]
Insect King: Ow-eeee that fucking hurts! Ow! Right down to the thorax, Dick! But it missed my Black heart.
Dean Venture: Die!
[Dean severes the Insect King's arm and leg]
Insect King: Ow, dude stop already, you're not even aiming for my black heart!
Dean Venture: I vanquish you!
Insect King: Come on, those are reproductive organs! Will you take the fucking hint and stab me in the heart already?!
Dean Venture: I got it! Your evil black heart is where your power comes from!
Insect King (feigning chagrin): Oh no, you have learned my terrible secret!
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Monarch Henchman: Come on! Come on! I wanna go with you guys!
The Monarch: Fuck off! It only seats Two! Two!
The Monarch: Fuck off! It only seats Two! Two!
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
(Interior The Monarch escape pod)
The Monarch: Wooo, you're insatiable, woman. Now that's one myth about married life we can scratch off the list, huh?
Dr. Girlfriend: Ya...You...know I nev..I never actually said I do.
The Monarch: Well you never said you don't.
Dr. Girlfriend: Well there's something else I haven't said, It, uh, it might... change things.
The Monarch: Is it, "Let's go again?" 'Cause I'm gonna need a few...
Dr. Girlfriend: No, okay...deep breath, Sheila, you've been rehearsing this...
(Dr. Girlfriend takes a deep breath)
Dr. Girlfriend: Monarch, I'm....
(Cut to exterior of Monarch's escape pod)
The Monarch: (angrily) WHAT!?
The Monarch: Wooo, you're insatiable, woman. Now that's one myth about married life we can scratch off the list, huh?
Dr. Girlfriend: Ya...You...know I nev..I never actually said I do.
The Monarch: Well you never said you don't.
Dr. Girlfriend: Well there's something else I haven't said, It, uh, it might... change things.
The Monarch: Is it, "Let's go again?" 'Cause I'm gonna need a few...
Dr. Girlfriend: No, okay...deep breath, Sheila, you've been rehearsing this...
(Dr. Girlfriend takes a deep breath)
Dr. Girlfriend: Monarch, I'm....
(Cut to exterior of Monarch's escape pod)
The Monarch: (angrily) WHAT!?
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
[Dr. Orpheus carries Dean in his arms]
Dr. Orpheus: Don’t panic, Dean is safe. Safe in the magic hands of the Order of the... [Orpheus trips on Phantom Limb limb’s then drops Dean]
Dean: Ow, hey pop!
Dr. Venture: Dean was missing, nice job Brock.
The Alchemist: Peoples, somebody here lose an invisible...
[Alchemist realizes he’s pick up one of Phantom Limb limb’s. Then has a sinister look on his face]
The Alchemist: Oh... Oh, I'm keeping this.
Dr. Orpheus: Don’t panic, Dean is safe. Safe in the magic hands of the Order of the... [Orpheus trips on Phantom Limb limb’s then drops Dean]
Dean: Ow, hey pop!
Dr. Venture: Dean was missing, nice job Brock.
The Alchemist: Peoples, somebody here lose an invisible...
[Alchemist realizes he’s pick up one of Phantom Limb limb’s. Then has a sinister look on his face]
The Alchemist: Oh... Oh, I'm keeping this.
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Klaus Nomi: Did ve win?
Iggy Pop: Kinda. Get the girl. A bonus. Free smokes, man.
[Klaus drags Dr. Girlfriend away by her hair going pass the Monarch’s henchman]
Iggy Pop: Don't bother stamping your feet. We don't do encores.
Iggy Pop: Kinda. Get the girl. A bonus. Free smokes, man.
[Klaus drags Dr. Girlfriend away by her hair going pass the Monarch’s henchman]
Iggy Pop: Don't bother stamping your feet. We don't do encores.
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
After their short honeymoon, the Monarch and Dr. Girlfriend are captured by the Guild to face questioning by the Council of Thirteen related to the traitor, Phantom Limb. Much of their history as villains is also revealed. Meanwhile, Dr. Girlfriend's Murderous Moppets takeover the Monarch's henchmen to rebuild his cocoon fortress.
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
[The Monarch's henchmen are standing in the remains of the cocoon]
#24: Well, they're gone. Now what the hell do we do?
#21: We forge our own destiny. We are as ronin — wandering samurai without a master.
Tim-Tom Moppet: Wrong. We're your master now.
#21: What? Says who? Who died and put you in charge?
Tim-Tom Moppet: Need we point out the obvious? Kevin...
Kevin Moppet: Henchman #2, front and center! [everyone looks around] Okay, #3, step forward. Henchmen 4, 5, henchman 6...
Tim-Tom Moppet: You see? Bet there isn't even anyone here over, what, an 18? Whereas Kevin and I were Dr. Girlfriend's number 2s!
#24: Our numbers are ranks?
#24: Well, they're gone. Now what the hell do we do?
#21: We forge our own destiny. We are as ronin — wandering samurai without a master.
Tim-Tom Moppet: Wrong. We're your master now.
#21: What? Says who? Who died and put you in charge?
Tim-Tom Moppet: Need we point out the obvious? Kevin...
Kevin Moppet: Henchman #2, front and center! [everyone looks around] Okay, #3, step forward. Henchmen 4, 5, henchman 6...
Tim-Tom Moppet: You see? Bet there isn't even anyone here over, what, an 18? Whereas Kevin and I were Dr. Girlfriend's number 2s!
#24: Our numbers are ranks?
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
[Dr. Girlfriend and the Monarch are being interrogated by the Council of Thirteen in separate rooms]
Dr. Girlfriend: You can't do this to us. Where's the Monarch?
Councilman 1: You will see him soon enough.
Councilman 3: Only after the Guild of Calamitous Intent is satisfied. You know why you are here.
The Monarch: No clue! Few hours ago I was in my floating escape bed- repeatedly consumating my marriage -and the next thing I know your super creeps are blindfolding us and dragging us here to get shot at!
Councilman 9: This is the way these things are done.
Councilman 8: And in light of recent events we need to be sure we can trust you.
Dr. Girlfriend: Trust us? You were the ones who promoted him all these years.
Councilman 3: There's no reason to get defensive.
Councilman 2: We just have some questions for you; tell us about the traitor Phantom Limb.
The Monarch: I know he wears an awful lot of purple for a white guy. What else you wanna know?
Dr. Girlfriend: You can't do this to us. Where's the Monarch?
Councilman 1: You will see him soon enough.
Councilman 3: Only after the Guild of Calamitous Intent is satisfied. You know why you are here.
The Monarch: No clue! Few hours ago I was in my floating escape bed- repeatedly consumating my marriage -and the next thing I know your super creeps are blindfolding us and dragging us here to get shot at!
Councilman 9: This is the way these things are done.
Councilman 8: And in light of recent events we need to be sure we can trust you.
Dr. Girlfriend: Trust us? You were the ones who promoted him all these years.
Councilman 3: There's no reason to get defensive.
Councilman 2: We just have some questions for you; tell us about the traitor Phantom Limb.
The Monarch: I know he wears an awful lot of purple for a white guy. What else you wanna know?
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Phantom Limb: Behold! [he drops his pants to reveal his invisible legs]
Dr. Girlfriend: What...happened to your legs?
Phantom Limb: What do you know...of evil?
Dr. Girlfriend: Why? You...'eviled' your legs?
Phantom Limb: Evil is misunderstood. Society slaps our wrists and tells us to simmer down while she wages her murderous wars, destroys our planet, and prays to the mighty dollar.
Dr. Girlfriend: And then she made your legs invisible?
Dr. Girlfriend: What...happened to your legs?
Phantom Limb: What do you know...of evil?
Dr. Girlfriend: Why? You...'eviled' your legs?
Phantom Limb: Evil is misunderstood. Society slaps our wrists and tells us to simmer down while she wages her murderous wars, destroys our planet, and prays to the mighty dollar.
Dr. Girlfriend: And then she made your legs invisible?
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
The Monarch: Oh man, if that shows up on YouTube...I...I'm serious, what kind of torture is this? Couldn't you just drill my teeth or shove bamboo under my nails or something?
Councilman 9: This is not a torture, Mr. Monarch.
Councilman 8: It is an interrogation.
Councilman 7: Or a trial of sorts.
Councilman 9: I always say, it's a crucible.
Councilman 8: Oh, that's way cooler.
Councilman 9: This is not a torture, Mr. Monarch.
Councilman 8: It is an interrogation.
Councilman 7: Or a trial of sorts.
Councilman 9: I always say, it's a crucible.
Councilman 8: Oh, that's way cooler.
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Watch: Welcome to the Citadel of Attribution. My name is Watch. I will be the only human face you will see, speak to...and enjoy.
Dr. Girlfriend: Okay...
Ward: [walking in, eating chips] So that's Lady Au Pair.
Watch: Dude, get out of here. She's not supposed to see anybody but me.
Ward: Really?
Watch: No, I'm making that up. Yes, really!
Ward: Oh, should I put on my hood?
Watch: Forget it. She already saw your face. You might as well stay.
Ward: Good.
Dr. Girlfriend: Okay...
Ward: [walking in, eating chips] So that's Lady Au Pair.
Watch: Dude, get out of here. She's not supposed to see anybody but me.
Ward: Really?
Watch: No, I'm making that up. Yes, really!
Ward: Oh, should I put on my hood?
Watch: Forget it. She already saw your face. You might as well stay.
Ward: Good.
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
The Monarch: W-wait. Did that video have a wipe?
Councilman 2: Councilman 3 got Adobe Premiere.
Councilman 3: Was it too showy? I thought it would make it more lively.
The Monarch: And why did you change the music??"
Councilman 4: : Pardon...?
The Monarch: : A man remembers what was on his car radio when he taps his future wife. That was not the song.
Councilman 4: : Oh, we couldn't afford the rights.
Councilman 5: : Einar's lawyers were ready to sign, but Bjork's lawyers wouldn't budge!
Councilman 2: Councilman 3 got Adobe Premiere.
Councilman 3: Was it too showy? I thought it would make it more lively.
The Monarch: And why did you change the music??"
Councilman 4: : Pardon...?
The Monarch: : A man remembers what was on his car radio when he taps his future wife. That was not the song.
Councilman 4: : Oh, we couldn't afford the rights.
Councilman 5: : Einar's lawyers were ready to sign, but Bjork's lawyers wouldn't budge!
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Manotaur: What, is this some kind of revenge hit? I'm retired from archvillainy!
Phantom Limb: No-one retires from Phantom Limb's shit-list!
Phantom Limb: No-one retires from Phantom Limb's shit-list!
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Dr. Henry Killinger: I am Doctor Henry Killinger and this...is my resume.
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
[Dr. Orpheus is trying to read Dr. Killinger's mind]
Dr. Henry Killinger: Your powers are useless on me, you silly billy.
Dr. Henry Killinger: Your powers are useless on me, you silly billy.
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Dr. Venture: (somberly) Brock... am I a bad person?
Brock: Doc, what the hell just hap...
Dr. Venture: Am I, Brock?
Brock: (pauses, then rocks his hand in a "kind of" gesture) Ehhhh......
Brock: Doc, what the hell just hap...
Dr. Venture: Am I, Brock?
Brock: (pauses, then rocks his hand in a "kind of" gesture) Ehhhh......
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
[After his weapon mis-fires]
The Alchemist: I swear, this has NEVER happened before...
The Alchemist: I swear, this has NEVER happened before...
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Master Billy Quizboy: [reading] "Notice of hostile takeover"? Venture— what a dick! Wait, we're not even a publicly traded company.
Pete White: Oh, FYI, I issued some shares back when we needed cash for the Nintendo Wii.
Pete White: Oh, FYI, I issued some shares back when we needed cash for the Nintendo Wii.
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Dr. Henry Killinger: You will never be able to reach your full potential until you first confront your deep-seated fear of success. Now get into the bag.
Dr. Venture: What's in it?
Dr. Henry Killinger: Only what you take with you.
Dr. Venture: What's in it?
Dr. Henry Killinger: Only what you take with you.
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Dr. Orpheus: Have you not the eyes to see what he is doing? I've touched his mind! His is the way of the serpent and the apple. He seduced your employer with the poisoned promises of a Faustian covenant, giving with one hand as he macerates your souls with the other! We must stop him at once!
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Dr. Venture: What the hell am I signing, a zeppelin?
Dr. Henry Killinger: A most sacred pact: membership in the most elite brotherhood, mit exclusive arching rights.
Dr. Venture: Didn't have to go through all this hooey to get my first archenemy, but what the hey? Did you pick me a good one?
Dr. Henry Killinger: No, you did.
Dr. Venture: [Looking at the video-screen] What...my brother?
Dr. Henry Killinger: Bingo! Isn't it perfect? It's a classic Cain-und-Abel story.
Dr. Venture: But...but he can't arch me, he's not even a super... [The reality dawns on him] Oh, my God, this is...but I'm not a...
Dr. Henry Killinger: Aren't you? Is this not what your heart was trying to tell you in your visions? Sign it. Make your blood feud official! Act now! Venchmen are standing by for your order!
Dr. Henry Killinger: A most sacred pact: membership in the most elite brotherhood, mit exclusive arching rights.
Dr. Venture: Didn't have to go through all this hooey to get my first archenemy, but what the hey? Did you pick me a good one?
Dr. Henry Killinger: No, you did.
Dr. Venture: [Looking at the video-screen] What...my brother?
Dr. Henry Killinger: Bingo! Isn't it perfect? It's a classic Cain-und-Abel story.
Dr. Venture: But...but he can't arch me, he's not even a super... [The reality dawns on him] Oh, my God, this is...but I'm not a...
Dr. Henry Killinger: Aren't you? Is this not what your heart was trying to tell you in your visions? Sign it. Make your blood feud official! Act now! Venchmen are standing by for your order!
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
[Dr. Killinger appears in the stars and quotes from Shakespeare's "As You Like It."]
Dr. Killinger: All the vorld's a stage, und all the men und women mearly players. They have their entrences und exits, und one man in his time plays many parts. His acts being seven ages...
[General Manhours appears with him.]
Gen. Manhours: Heheh, you said it, Killer! And you can read more about it in The Bible!
Dr. Killinger: All the vorld's a stage, und all the men und women mearly players. They have their entrences und exits, und one man in his time plays many parts. His acts being seven ages...
[General Manhours appears with him.]
Gen. Manhours: Heheh, you said it, Killer! And you can read more about it in The Bible!
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Billy Quizboy: White, I just remembered something...
Pete White: What?
Billy Quizboy: Everything...
Pete White: What?
Billy Quizboy: Everything...
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Pete White: Hello, Goldilocks? This is Casper. Little Nemo has fallen out of bed.
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Dr. Venture: Barkeep! Another 'Suffering Bastard', if you please. [He falls down, recieving a call on his watch] ...Hello?
Myra: How could you just leave like that without telling me where you're going?
Dr. Venture: You're not my mother, you're my bodyguard.
Myra: How can I guard your body if I can't be close to your body?!
Dr. Venture: Oh, God. Barkeep, where's that Suffering Bastard?
Bartender: I'm looking at him!
Dr. Venture: Oh Ha, Ha...
Myra: How could you just leave like that without telling me where you're going?
Dr. Venture: You're not my mother, you're my bodyguard.
Myra: How can I guard your body if I can't be close to your body?!
Dr. Venture: Oh, God. Barkeep, where's that Suffering Bastard?
Bartender: I'm looking at him!
Dr. Venture: Oh Ha, Ha...
TV Show: The Venture Bros.