The Venture Bros. Quotes
[Action Man flies in, guns blazing]
Action Man: Actiooooon!
[He violently guns down several henchmen]
Action Man: Action! Action! Action!
Col. Gentleman: Whoa-whoa-whoa Rodney, what the hell are you doing?
Action Man: What!? I'm winning the day!
Col. Gentleman: Well take it down a notch! I mean, Ook-Ook's a mindless savage. And even he knows when to pull his punches!
Action Man: Actiooooon!
[He violently guns down several henchmen]
Action Man: Action! Action! Action!
Col. Gentleman: Whoa-whoa-whoa Rodney, what the hell are you doing?
Action Man: What!? I'm winning the day!
Col. Gentleman: Well take it down a notch! I mean, Ook-Ook's a mindless savage. And even he knows when to pull his punches!
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
[The Pirate Captain walks in on Sally Impossible while she's getting out of the shower. They both scream, and Sally's skin turns invisible, revealing her musculature. The Pirate Captain screams and runs out]
Pirate Captain: Oh, man. This is all kinds of uncomfortable. On, like, a couple of levels!
Pirate Captain: Oh, man. This is all kinds of uncomfortable. On, like, a couple of levels!
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
[Ned jumps into the rear seat of Professor Impossible's aircraft]
Ned: Ya! Super-car go! Go car!
Ned: Ya! Super-car go! Go car!
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Action Man: I can't believe you slept with... Killermanjaro! I had no idea he...
Col. Gentleman: Neither did he, 'til the day he tried to ambush me in the middle of a threesome with Gore Vidal and Wally Schirra.
Col. Gentleman: Neither did he, 'til the day he tried to ambush me in the middle of a threesome with Gore Vidal and Wally Schirra.
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Brainulo: [Telepathically] You fantasize about conquering... the mother from Growing Pains?!
Pete White: Oh, yeah, that episode where they showed her in the bathtub?
Pete White: Oh, yeah, that episode where they showed her in the bathtub?
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Dr. Venture: This is gonna be one of those things, isn't it?
Brock: Uh-huh.
Dr. Venture: I mean, you get a bunch of short-fused, costumed idiots together in one room like this, and what do you think's gonna happen? Any minute now, stuff's gonna start blowing up, guys'll be throwing each other at other guys.
Brock: Yeah, probably.
Dr. Venture: You know, when you're not the one in the middle of it all for once, it's actually totally, completely obvious.
Brock: Welcome to my life.
Brock: Uh-huh.
Dr. Venture: I mean, you get a bunch of short-fused, costumed idiots together in one room like this, and what do you think's gonna happen? Any minute now, stuff's gonna start blowing up, guys'll be throwing each other at other guys.
Brock: Yeah, probably.
Dr. Venture: You know, when you're not the one in the middle of it all for once, it's actually totally, completely obvious.
Brock: Welcome to my life.
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Dr. Venture: ...but it's a melee, you live for that crap!
Brock: I'm your bodyguard, not your brother's. He can put out his own fire.
Brock: I'm your bodyguard, not your brother's. He can put out his own fire.
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Dr. Venture: It’s too bad Col. Gentlemen couldn’t be here to basks in the glory with you. Oh, or did you guys get him killed too?
[Col. Gentlemen taps Dr. Venture on the shoulders and punches him in the face]
Dean: Its the ghost of Col. Gentlemen!
Col. Gentlemen: Thats for breaking my step-daughter’s heart.
Brock: Hey-hey-hey hey, now!
Col. Gentlemen: Don’t you try it Prince Adam, this old parv still got moves that will make your mullet spin.
Dean: But, you’re suppose to be dead?
Col. Gentlemen: Nonsense, I'm a Ox.
[Col. Gentlemen taps Dr. Venture on the shoulders and punches him in the face]
Dean: Its the ghost of Col. Gentlemen!
Col. Gentlemen: Thats for breaking my step-daughter’s heart.
Brock: Hey-hey-hey hey, now!
Col. Gentlemen: Don’t you try it Prince Adam, this old parv still got moves that will make your mullet spin.
Dean: But, you’re suppose to be dead?
Col. Gentlemen: Nonsense, I'm a Ox.
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Dr. Venture: Wait, Brock, don’t. We have to go back.
Brock: What?
Dr. Venture: He’s family and he’s in trouble. He needs us.
Brock: [Laughs] Get the fuck out of here.
Dr. Venture: Hah-hah. Had you going for a minute there, didn’t I? Huh!
Brock: Yeah.
Dr. Venture: Had you going.
Brock: Yeah, yeah.
Brock: What?
Dr. Venture: He’s family and he’s in trouble. He needs us.
Brock: [Laughs] Get the fuck out of here.
Dr. Venture: Hah-hah. Had you going for a minute there, didn’t I? Huh!
Brock: Yeah.
Dr. Venture: Had you going.
Brock: Yeah, yeah.
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Jonas Venture Jr.: Hey fellas, if I can get you to gather in the next room for a moment, I like to... What is this? Are you selling autographs?
Action Man: Like gangbusters. We made table-money in like the first five minutes.
Jonas Venture Jr.: You can’t do that here. You’re cheapening the memory.
Col. Gentlemen: Listen Pot-Noodle, we are the memory, OK. Now I saw your "suggested donation box" on the way in. So unless your giving us a cut at the door, I suggest you go rouse Spiderman and the Great Gazoo over there.
Scaramantula: [On the other table] Look at them, ratting us out to the man. Cowards!
Action Man: Like gangbusters. We made table-money in like the first five minutes.
Jonas Venture Jr.: You can’t do that here. You’re cheapening the memory.
Col. Gentlemen: Listen Pot-Noodle, we are the memory, OK. Now I saw your "suggested donation box" on the way in. So unless your giving us a cut at the door, I suggest you go rouse Spiderman and the Great Gazoo over there.
Scaramantula: [On the other table] Look at them, ratting us out to the man. Cowards!
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
[The old Team Venture and Brainula are on the boat heading towards Spider-Skull Island]
Brainulo: I remember, when this was all under water.
Action Man: Thats always sad when that happens.
Brainulo: I remember, when this was all under water.
Action Man: Thats always sad when that happens.
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
The Cocoon's lightning cannon seems to have actually invigorated Ventronic
The Monarch: (disappointed) Ohhh! Our lightning cannon SUCKS! Who loaded it with robot food?!
The Monarch: (disappointed) Ohhh! Our lightning cannon SUCKS! Who loaded it with robot food?!
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
The Monarch: What the fuck is that thing?
Dr. Mrs. The Monarch: Ummm, I think it's a giant robot with a ice cream cone for one of its arms. I think.
Dr. Mrs. The Monarch: Ummm, I think it's a giant robot with a ice cream cone for one of its arms. I think.
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Dr. Mrs. The Monarch: I gotta ask this, is there a reason why you are always using 21 and 24?
The Monarch: I know it sounds crazy, but they both have the rare blend of expendable and invulnerable that makes them the perfect henchmen.
The Monarch: I know it sounds crazy, but they both have the rare blend of expendable and invulnerable that makes them the perfect henchmen.
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
(Admiring Scaramantula's classic death ray cannon)
Brock: Aww no fuckin' way! Late 60's ultra death ray! She's amazing! Saddle operated with Doom-code gearing. Freakin' gorgeous.
Mr. Cardholder: If this were a woman, I'd marry it.
Mr. Doe: And I'd jeopardize our friendship by nailing your hot wife.
Brock: Aww no fuckin' way! Late 60's ultra death ray! She's amazing! Saddle operated with Doom-code gearing. Freakin' gorgeous.
Mr. Cardholder: If this were a woman, I'd marry it.
Mr. Doe: And I'd jeopardize our friendship by nailing your hot wife.
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Brock: So you just wanna kill the Monarch? You want to shoot him, and his wife? You could take his cattle, burn his village down.
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Ward: The Guild of Calamitous Intent is antagonist relations only.
Jonas Venture Jr: So who handles the good guys?
Watch: Whoa! (offended) I think the less hurtful term is protagonists.
Jonas Venture Jr: Oh. Yes. Sorry. Who handles the protagonists?
Ward: What, are you serious? OSI! Duh!
Jonas Venture Jr: Can you patch me through?
Ward: Oh, sure. (laughing) Just let me get my red phone! The hotline!
Watch: No, I'll shine the OSI signal!
Ward: No no, if we really believe, click our heels together and-
Jonas Venture Jr: Okay, okay! I get it! (hangs up)
Ward: Newbie. Did you see his creepy little body?!
Watch: Oh my god, when you were a kid, did you ever make G.I. Joe hump Rainbow Brite ?
Ward: Yeah.
Watch: He's what their kid would've looked like.
Jonas Venture Jr: So who handles the good guys?
Watch: Whoa! (offended) I think the less hurtful term is protagonists.
Jonas Venture Jr: Oh. Yes. Sorry. Who handles the protagonists?
Ward: What, are you serious? OSI! Duh!
Jonas Venture Jr: Can you patch me through?
Ward: Oh, sure. (laughing) Just let me get my red phone! The hotline!
Watch: No, I'll shine the OSI signal!
Ward: No no, if we really believe, click our heels together and-
Jonas Venture Jr: Okay, okay! I get it! (hangs up)
Ward: Newbie. Did you see his creepy little body?!
Watch: Oh my god, when you were a kid, did you ever make G.I. Joe hump Rainbow Brite ?
Ward: Yeah.
Watch: He's what their kid would've looked like.
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Mr Doe: (holding out his hand) Jonas Venture Jr?
Jonas Venture Jr: (folding his arms) I am. And who are the dead men I'm speaking to?
Mr Doe: That's a joke.
Mr Cardholder: Regular cut-up.
Mr Doe: Should give him a reality show.
Mr Cardholder: I'd watch it.
Mr Doe: I'd watch it twice.
Mr Cardholder: Even if Flava Flav was in it.
Jonas Venture Jr: (folding his arms) I am. And who are the dead men I'm speaking to?
Mr Doe: That's a joke.
Mr Cardholder: Regular cut-up.
Mr Doe: Should give him a reality show.
Mr Cardholder: I'd watch it.
Mr Doe: I'd watch it twice.
Mr Cardholder: Even if Flava Flav was in it.
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Henchman 21: Listen dude, don't get cozy with us. You're the guy who doesn't come back.
Henchman 24: Yeah, some guy who just shows up that nobody's ever seen before!
Henchman 21: And he's all professional- Yeah, dude, you're a goner.
Henchman 24: (putting his arm around Henchman #1's shoulders) Let me tell you a story about a little henchman named Speedy...
Henchman 24: Yeah, some guy who just shows up that nobody's ever seen before!
Henchman 21: And he's all professional- Yeah, dude, you're a goner.
Henchman 24: (putting his arm around Henchman #1's shoulders) Let me tell you a story about a little henchman named Speedy...
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Henchman 21: You still don't get it. 24 and I have been on, like, a thousand missions. We've been shot at, dipped in acid...
Henchman 24: Brock Samson hit me with a car. Drove right into my kidney. Here I am!
Henchman 21: Yeah, we can walk across this floor and nothing would hit us. But then like this huge log would swing down and take your head off.
Henchman 24: Hey, here; what's your name?
Henchman 1: Henchman number 1.
Henchman 24: See, you are nameless.
Henchman 1: I'm Scott Hall, my name is Scott Hall. Okay?
Henchman 24: No, won't help.
Henchman 21: Yeah, now it's just pathos. So you're dying in my lap and I'm all "Scott! Scott don't you quit on us! Don't you dare!!"
Henchman 24: You just made your unavoidable death more pathetic.
Henchman 21: (pause) Fuck it. (begins walking across a lasertripwired floor) Nothing's gonna happen to me.
Henchman 24: Brock Samson hit me with a car. Drove right into my kidney. Here I am!
Henchman 21: Yeah, we can walk across this floor and nothing would hit us. But then like this huge log would swing down and take your head off.
Henchman 24: Hey, here; what's your name?
Henchman 1: Henchman number 1.
Henchman 24: See, you are nameless.
Henchman 1: I'm Scott Hall, my name is Scott Hall. Okay?
Henchman 24: No, won't help.
Henchman 21: Yeah, now it's just pathos. So you're dying in my lap and I'm all "Scott! Scott don't you quit on us! Don't you dare!!"
Henchman 24: You just made your unavoidable death more pathetic.
Henchman 21: (pause) Fuck it. (begins walking across a lasertripwired floor) Nothing's gonna happen to me.
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Pirate Captain: (after getting shot with tranquilizer darts) Oooohhh...It's like gettin' sucked off by an angel!
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
(Kano holds young Rusty, who is aiming a sniper rifle, on his shoulders. Col Gentleman sits by, wounded.)
Col. Gentleman: That thing is gonna kick like a badger, so you have to re-level quick. Aim for the bastard's neck. Hold 'im up there, Kano! I don't care if he wets himself and your head; that boy is gonna see somebody die! And if he doesn't want it to be his father, he'll have to pull that trigger!
Col. Gentleman: That thing is gonna kick like a badger, so you have to re-level quick. Aim for the bastard's neck. Hold 'im up there, Kano! I don't care if he wets himself and your head; that boy is gonna see somebody die! And if he doesn't want it to be his father, he'll have to pull that trigger!
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Billy Quizboy: White! White! Get in here!
Pete White: [shudders] Congratulations, you discovered pornography.
Pete White: [shudders] Congratulations, you discovered pornography.
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Dr. Venture: This isn’t an invention, it’s a responsibility. We need to study this, and if we find that it will help mankind move peacefully forward, then we shall share its teachings, because we are not only men of science, we -
Billy Quizboy: We ... are men of hope.
Dr. Venture: How'd you know what I was gonna say?
Billy Quizboy: Come on! Your dad said that at, like, the end of every episode!
Billy Quizboy: We ... are men of hope.
Dr. Venture: How'd you know what I was gonna say?
Billy Quizboy: Come on! Your dad said that at, like, the end of every episode!
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Col. Lloyd Venture: I'm sorry. I didn't know we were out of options.
Fantômas: Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know it was sarcasm day.
Col. Lloyd Venture: I'm sorry I wasn't aware of your delicate constitution.
Fantômas: I'm sorry you smell like spoiled fruit.
Mark Twain: Fantômas has a point.
Col. Lloyd Venture: How dare you, sir! Why, I smell of freshly cut flowers!
Fantômas: Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know it was sarcasm day.
Col. Lloyd Venture: I'm sorry I wasn't aware of your delicate constitution.
Fantômas: I'm sorry you smell like spoiled fruit.
Mark Twain: Fantômas has a point.
Col. Lloyd Venture: How dare you, sir! Why, I smell of freshly cut flowers!
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Col. Venture: Samuel, the orb is a source of untold power! We must take our time and learn how to harness that power for the good of mankind!
Fantômas: Woah there, the orb is ours. The guild will decide what is best for mankind!
Oscar Wilde: For shame! This guild was founded to protect and serve man at his best, not to be a guild .. of calamitous intent!
Fantômas: Woah there, the orb is ours. The guild will decide what is best for mankind!
Oscar Wilde: For shame! This guild was founded to protect and serve man at his best, not to be a guild .. of calamitous intent!
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
The Alchemist: Alright. Let's start again. Get me a dictionary.
Pete White: But we have the internet.
The Alchemist: I don't wanna play World of Warcraft. Get me a regular dictionary. (talks to himself aloud) Ugh, internet. It's only good for finding out that your boyfriend is sleeping around. Friggin' MySpace. What, I'm not supposed to look at his friend's comments? They're right on the first page! It's hardly snooping!
Pete White: But we have the internet.
The Alchemist: I don't wanna play World of Warcraft. Get me a regular dictionary. (talks to himself aloud) Ugh, internet. It's only good for finding out that your boyfriend is sleeping around. Friggin' MySpace. What, I'm not supposed to look at his friend's comments? They're right on the first page! It's hardly snooping!
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Kano: ORB? Master Rusty has found ORB? (laughs) Did he find it under the couch while looking for change?
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
(The Monarch, Dr. Girlfriend, The Moppets and 21&24 ride in the Monarch Mobile to storm the Venture Compound.)
Dr. Girlfriend: I wanted to take the cocoon.
The Monarch: That just what Venture expects us to do. But he won't expect this! You and your two best men, me and my...men. We keep it slim. Elite forces!
Dr. Girlfriend: Great. One of your "elite forces" is playing Tetris on his cell phone, while the other is peeing into a grande chai latte.
#21: God, I wish! It's like there's a vice on my wing-ding! You guys gotta stop talking so I can get in the zone.
Dr. Girlfriend: I wanted to take the cocoon.
The Monarch: That just what Venture expects us to do. But he won't expect this! You and your two best men, me and my...men. We keep it slim. Elite forces!
Dr. Girlfriend: Great. One of your "elite forces" is playing Tetris on his cell phone, while the other is peeing into a grande chai latte.
#21: God, I wish! It's like there's a vice on my wing-ding! You guys gotta stop talking so I can get in the zone.
TV Show: The Venture Bros.