The War at Home Quotes

Dave: There's only one simple rule for dating my teenage daughter - she sees your penis, I'll cut it off.

Movie: The War at Home
Dave: I'm gonna miss that Jew-hating country club.

Movie: The War at Home
Karen Collier: You know, I'm not gonna be mad at you, because I know you have personal problems.
Jeremy Collier: What are they? What are these personal problems that I have?
Karen Collier: I don't know the medical term, but I suppose you could describe it as being a terminal jerk.

Movie: The War at Home
Karen Collier: You know how in horror movies the door is swinging back and forth from one hinge in front of a dark room, and some stupid moron is walking up to it, just gonna go in, and you think to yourself, 'Why is she doing that? Why is she going in there? What could possible make her go into that room? Doesn't she know better?'
Donald: Yeah.
Karen Collier: [looks over at her house] Don't let me go in there, please.

Movie: The War at Home
Mike: Hey, Dad, I need you to sign this math test.
Dave: You failed?
Mike: No, my teacher just wants your autograph. He's a big fan of mid-level insurance salesmen.

Movie: The War at Home
Vicky: I never had sex with a guy who pressured me. At least not until I got married.

Movie: The War at Home
Vicky: Besides, what's wrong with making some new friends?
Dave: New friends? Look, I don't even like the friends we have.
Vicky: Yeah, well, they're not exactly crazy about you, either.
Dave: Who? Did somebody way something about me? Huh? I'm adorable.
01x04 Guess Who's Coming to the Barbecue

TV Show: The War at Home