The West Wing Quotes
Reporter: I'm curious about the President's farm in Manchester. The property value increased $750,000. What's that due to?
C.J.: Secret Service improvements.
Reporter: Can you go into detail, please?
C.J.: The property now includes a helipad and the ability to run a global war from the sun porch.
C.J.: Secret Service improvements.
Reporter: Can you go into detail, please?
C.J.: The property now includes a helipad and the ability to run a global war from the sun porch.
TV Show: The West Wing
Josh: You know, I realize that as an adult not everyone shares my view of the world, and with an issue as hot as gun control I'm prepared to accept a lot of different points of view as being perfectly valid, but we can all get together on the grenade launcher, right?
TV Show: The West Wing
Leo: Andrew Jackson, in the main foyer of his White House had a big block of cheese.
Toby: Huh.
Leo: I am making a mental list of those who are snickering, and even as I speak I am preparing appropriate retribution. The block of cheese was huge - over two tons. And it was there for any and all who might be hungry.
Toby: Leo, wouldn't this time be better spent plotting a war against a country that can't possibly defend itself against us?
Leo: We can do that later, Toby. Right now I'm talking about President Andrew Jackson.
Sam Actually, right now, you're talking about a big block of cheese.
Leo: And Sam goes on my list!
Sam: What about Toby?
Leo: I'm unpredictable. Jackson wanted the White House to belong to the people, so from time to time, he opened his doors to those who wished an audience.
Mandy: And then he locked the doors behind them and made them eat two tons of cheese.
Leo: It is in that spirit...
Sam: Hang on. Mandy doesn't go on the list?
Leo: Mandy's new.
Sam: So it's just me... on the list?
Leo: Yes. It is in the spirit of Andrew Jackson that I, from time to time, ask senior staff to have face-to-face meetings with those people representing organizations who have a difficult time getting our attention. I know the more jaded among you, see this as something rather beneath you. But I assure you that listening to the voices of passionate Americans is beneath no one, and surely not the peoples' servants.
Josh: [walks in with C.J.] Sorry, we're late. Is it "Total Crackpot Day" again?
Leo: Yes, it is.
Sam: And let us please note that Josh does not go on the list.
Toby: Huh.
Leo: I am making a mental list of those who are snickering, and even as I speak I am preparing appropriate retribution. The block of cheese was huge - over two tons. And it was there for any and all who might be hungry.
Toby: Leo, wouldn't this time be better spent plotting a war against a country that can't possibly defend itself against us?
Leo: We can do that later, Toby. Right now I'm talking about President Andrew Jackson.
Sam Actually, right now, you're talking about a big block of cheese.
Leo: And Sam goes on my list!
Sam: What about Toby?
Leo: I'm unpredictable. Jackson wanted the White House to belong to the people, so from time to time, he opened his doors to those who wished an audience.
Mandy: And then he locked the doors behind them and made them eat two tons of cheese.
Leo: It is in that spirit...
Sam: Hang on. Mandy doesn't go on the list?
Leo: Mandy's new.
Sam: So it's just me... on the list?
Leo: Yes. It is in the spirit of Andrew Jackson that I, from time to time, ask senior staff to have face-to-face meetings with those people representing organizations who have a difficult time getting our attention. I know the more jaded among you, see this as something rather beneath you. But I assure you that listening to the voices of passionate Americans is beneath no one, and surely not the peoples' servants.
Josh: [walks in with C.J.] Sorry, we're late. Is it "Total Crackpot Day" again?
Leo: Yes, it is.
Sam: And let us please note that Josh does not go on the list.
TV Show: The West Wing
Bartlet: It was not a space ship from another planet, just another time -- a long since abandoned Soviet satellite. One of its booster rockets didn't fire and it couldn't escape Earth's orbit. A sad reminder of the time when two powerful nations challenged each other and then boldly raced into outer space. What will be the next thing that challenges us, Toby? That makes us go farther and work harder? You know that when smallpox was eradicated, it was considered the single greatest humanitarian achievement of this century? Surely we can do it again, as we did in the time when our eyes looked towards the heavens, and with outstretched fingers we touched the face of God.
TV Show: The West Wing
Toby: It's not so much that you cheat sir, its how brazenly bad you are at it.
Bartlet: Give me an example.
Toby: In Florida, playing mixed doubles with me and C.J., you tried to tell us your partner worked at the American Consulate in Vienna.
Bartlet: She did.
Toby: It was Steffi Graf, sir!
Bartlet: I'll admit the woman bore a striking resemblance to her.
Toby: You crazy lunatic, you think I'm not going to recognize Steffi Graf when she's serving a tennis ball at me?
Bartlet: Give me an example.
Toby: In Florida, playing mixed doubles with me and C.J., you tried to tell us your partner worked at the American Consulate in Vienna.
Bartlet: She did.
Toby: It was Steffi Graf, sir!
Bartlet: I'll admit the woman bore a striking resemblance to her.
Toby: You crazy lunatic, you think I'm not going to recognize Steffi Graf when she's serving a tennis ball at me?
TV Show: The West Wing
Bartlet: Hey, everybody, listen up - Zoe's down from Hanover and I'm making chili for everyone tonight!
[Everyone looks horrified]
Josh: Oh God...
Various: [With a noticeable lack of enthusiasm] Great! Great!
Bartlet: [Put out] Okay, you know what? Let's do this. Everybody look down at the big seal in the middle of my carpet. [Everyone looks down at the Presidential seal] Now look back up at me. [They do so] Zoe's down from Hanover and I'm making chili for everyone tonight!
Everyone: [With more convincing forced enthusiasm] That's great! I love chili! Terrific!
Bartlet: There! You see how benevolent I can be when everybody just does what I tell them to do?
[Everyone looks horrified]
Josh: Oh God...
Various: [With a noticeable lack of enthusiasm] Great! Great!
Bartlet: [Put out] Okay, you know what? Let's do this. Everybody look down at the big seal in the middle of my carpet. [Everyone looks down at the Presidential seal] Now look back up at me. [They do so] Zoe's down from Hanover and I'm making chili for everyone tonight!
Everyone: [With more convincing forced enthusiasm] That's great! I love chili! Terrific!
Bartlet: There! You see how benevolent I can be when everybody just does what I tell them to do?
TV Show: The West Wing
[Josh is in his office, with Schubert's "Ave Maria" playing on his boombox]
Josh: C.J., an N.S.C. staffer gave me a card with instructions on it for what I'm supposed to do in the event of a nuclear attack. They want me up in the plane or down in a bunker. They don't want you... or Sam, or Toby, for that matter. I didn't want to be friends with you and have you not know.
C.J.: [surprised] Josh, have you been upset about this?
Josh: Yes.
C.J.: You're very sweet sometimes. You really are.
Josh: C.J...
C.J.: Of course they don't want me, Josh! I'm a press secretary. I don't think they're going to be issuing a whole lot of releases. Sam and Toby are communications and my guess is that speech writing won't be a priority either. Come, have some fun. [starts to leave]
Josh: [points at his boombox] This is a beautiful piece of music. Do you know this?
C.J.: ...I'm Catholic.
Josh: Hang on. Listen. Listen. [turns up his boombox at the words "O Jungfrau, sieh der Jungfrau Sorgen"] There, right there. It's... miraculous. [beat] Schubert was crazy, you know. [C.J. nods and says "Yes"] Do you think you have to be crazy to create something powerful?
C.J.: Josh, the Cold War is over. There's not going to be a nuclear–
Josh: God, C.J. It's not going to be like that. It's not gonna be the red phone and nuclear bombs.
C.J.: What's it going to be?
Josh: It's going to be this! It's going to be something like this. Smallpox has been gone for fifty years. No one has an acquired immunity. Flies through the air. You get it, you carry a ten foot cloud around with you. One in three people die. If 100 people in New York City got it, you'd have to encircle them with 100 million vaccinated people to contain it. Do you know how many doses of smallpox vaccin
Josh: C.J., an N.S.C. staffer gave me a card with instructions on it for what I'm supposed to do in the event of a nuclear attack. They want me up in the plane or down in a bunker. They don't want you... or Sam, or Toby, for that matter. I didn't want to be friends with you and have you not know.
C.J.: [surprised] Josh, have you been upset about this?
Josh: Yes.
C.J.: You're very sweet sometimes. You really are.
Josh: C.J...
C.J.: Of course they don't want me, Josh! I'm a press secretary. I don't think they're going to be issuing a whole lot of releases. Sam and Toby are communications and my guess is that speech writing won't be a priority either. Come, have some fun. [starts to leave]
Josh: [points at his boombox] This is a beautiful piece of music. Do you know this?
C.J.: ...I'm Catholic.
Josh: Hang on. Listen. Listen. [turns up his boombox at the words "O Jungfrau, sieh der Jungfrau Sorgen"] There, right there. It's... miraculous. [beat] Schubert was crazy, you know. [C.J. nods and says "Yes"] Do you think you have to be crazy to create something powerful?
C.J.: Josh, the Cold War is over. There's not going to be a nuclear–
Josh: God, C.J. It's not going to be like that. It's not gonna be the red phone and nuclear bombs.
C.J.: What's it going to be?
Josh: It's going to be this! It's going to be something like this. Smallpox has been gone for fifty years. No one has an acquired immunity. Flies through the air. You get it, you carry a ten foot cloud around with you. One in three people die. If 100 people in New York City got it, you'd have to encircle them with 100 million vaccinated people to contain it. Do you know how many doses of smallpox vaccin
TV Show: The West Wing
Sam: CJ, we've been working on this commerce bill for three weeks, I hear you talk about the census all the time.
C.J.: Yeah. Yeah.
Sam: Well... I don't understand. How could you-
C.J.: I've been faking it.
Sam: You've been faking it?
C.J.: I've been playing it fast and loose there's no doubt about it, but sitting in on some of the meetings we've been having, and reading the briefing book last night, I have to say that the census is starting to sound to me like it's, well, important.
Sam: Ah-hah.
C.J.: And, I've come to the realization that if I'm gonna be talking about it all week, it's probably best that I understand what I'm saying.
Sam: When?
C.J.: When what?
Sam: When did you come to this realization?
C.J.: About an hour ago.
Sam: Okay. Let's... I tell you what, let's forget the fact that you're coming a little late to the party and embrace the fact that you showed up at all.
C.J.: That's what I say.
C.J.: Yeah. Yeah.
Sam: Well... I don't understand. How could you-
C.J.: I've been faking it.
Sam: You've been faking it?
C.J.: I've been playing it fast and loose there's no doubt about it, but sitting in on some of the meetings we've been having, and reading the briefing book last night, I have to say that the census is starting to sound to me like it's, well, important.
Sam: Ah-hah.
C.J.: And, I've come to the realization that if I'm gonna be talking about it all week, it's probably best that I understand what I'm saying.
Sam: When?
C.J.: When what?
Sam: When did you come to this realization?
C.J.: About an hour ago.
Sam: Okay. Let's... I tell you what, let's forget the fact that you're coming a little late to the party and embrace the fact that you showed up at all.
C.J.: That's what I say.
TV Show: The West Wing
Josh: Sam, I'm taking Charlie for a beer tonight before the vote. Zoey and Mallory are coming.
Sam: Sounds good.
C.J.: I like beer.
Josh: If you want to come I guess that'd be okay.
C.J.: Why, Josh, you've swept me off my feet.
Sam: Sounds good.
C.J.: I like beer.
Josh: If you want to come I guess that'd be okay.
C.J.: Why, Josh, you've swept me off my feet.
TV Show: The West Wing
[Josh and Sam have joined Charlie in confronting the guys who are hassling Zoe]
Josh: [Pressing Zoe's panic button] Yeah. You guys don’t realize it, but you’re having a pretty bad night.
Guy 1: [Sarcastic and aggressive] Oh really - and who’s gonna give it to us, huh?
[The door slams open and Secret Service agents burst in]
Agent: Federal Agents!
[Josh and Sam raise their arms and point at the three guys]
Sam and Josh: Right here!
[The agents grab the startled and protesting guys and force them head-first onto the bar whilst one grabs Zoe and guides her out protectively]
Agent: Shut up! I swear to God I’ll blow your head off. Everybody stand back.
Guy 1: [to Charlie] Hey, I ain’t done with you Sammy.
Charlie: My name is Charlie Young, jackass. And if that bulge in your pocket’s an 8-ball of blow, you'll be spending Spring Break in a Federal Prison. [to Josh]Now I’m having a good time.
Josh: [Pressing Zoe's panic button] Yeah. You guys don’t realize it, but you’re having a pretty bad night.
Guy 1: [Sarcastic and aggressive] Oh really - and who’s gonna give it to us, huh?
[The door slams open and Secret Service agents burst in]
Agent: Federal Agents!
[Josh and Sam raise their arms and point at the three guys]
Sam and Josh: Right here!
[The agents grab the startled and protesting guys and force them head-first onto the bar whilst one grabs Zoe and guides her out protectively]
Agent: Shut up! I swear to God I’ll blow your head off. Everybody stand back.
Guy 1: [to Charlie] Hey, I ain’t done with you Sammy.
Charlie: My name is Charlie Young, jackass. And if that bulge in your pocket’s an 8-ball of blow, you'll be spending Spring Break in a Federal Prison. [to Josh]Now I’m having a good time.
TV Show: The West Wing
Bartlet: The Secret Service...
Zoey: The Secret Service should worry about you getting shot!
Bartlet: They are worried about me getting shot - I'm worried about me getting shot - but that is nothing compared to how terrified we are of you. You scare the hell out of the Secret Service, Zoey, and you scare the hell out of me, too. My getting killed would be bad enough, but that is not the nightmare scenario. The nightmare scenario, sweetheart, is you getting kidnapped. You go out to a bar or a party in some club and you get up to go to the restroom. Somebody comes up from behind, puts their hand across your mouth and whisks you out the back door. You're so petrified you don't even notice the bodies of two Secret Service agents lying on the ground with bullet holes in their heads. Then you're whisked away in a car. It's a big party with lots of noise and lots of people coming and going and it's a half hour before someone says 'hey, where's Zoey?' Another fifteen minutes before the first phone call. It's another hour and a half before anyone even thinks to shut down all the airports. Now we're off to the races! You're tied to a chair in a cargo shack somewhere in the middle of Uganda and I am told that I have seventy-two hours to get Israel to free four hundred and sixty terrorist prisoners. So I'm on the phone, pleading with Binyamin and he's saying "I'm sorry Mr President, but Israel simply does not negotiate with terrorists, period! It's the only way we can survive." So now we got a new problem, because this country no longer has a commander-in-chief but has a father who's out of his mind because his little girl is in a shack somewhere in Uganda with a gun to her head! Do you get it?!
Zoey: The Secret Service should worry about you getting shot!
Bartlet: They are worried about me getting shot - I'm worried about me getting shot - but that is nothing compared to how terrified we are of you. You scare the hell out of the Secret Service, Zoey, and you scare the hell out of me, too. My getting killed would be bad enough, but that is not the nightmare scenario. The nightmare scenario, sweetheart, is you getting kidnapped. You go out to a bar or a party in some club and you get up to go to the restroom. Somebody comes up from behind, puts their hand across your mouth and whisks you out the back door. You're so petrified you don't even notice the bodies of two Secret Service agents lying on the ground with bullet holes in their heads. Then you're whisked away in a car. It's a big party with lots of noise and lots of people coming and going and it's a half hour before someone says 'hey, where's Zoey?' Another fifteen minutes before the first phone call. It's another hour and a half before anyone even thinks to shut down all the airports. Now we're off to the races! You're tied to a chair in a cargo shack somewhere in the middle of Uganda and I am told that I have seventy-two hours to get Israel to free four hundred and sixty terrorist prisoners. So I'm on the phone, pleading with Binyamin and he's saying "I'm sorry Mr President, but Israel simply does not negotiate with terrorists, period! It's the only way we can survive." So now we got a new problem, because this country no longer has a commander-in-chief but has a father who's out of his mind because his little girl is in a shack somewhere in Uganda with a gun to her head! Do you get it?!
TV Show: The West Wing
[In response to Josh's earlier speech to Donna about why the government does not issue refund checks for each person's portion of the budget surplus.]
Josh: Donna? How much were the sandwiches?
Donna: $12.95
Josh: I gave you a twenty.
Donna: Yes, as it turns out, actually, you gave me more money than I needed to buy what you asked for. However, knowing you, as I do, I'm afraid I can't trust you to spend the change wisely. I've decided to invest it for you.
Josh: That was nice. That was a little parable.
Donna: I want my money back.
Josh: Donna? How much were the sandwiches?
Donna: $12.95
Josh: I gave you a twenty.
Donna: Yes, as it turns out, actually, you gave me more money than I needed to buy what you asked for. However, knowing you, as I do, I'm afraid I can't trust you to spend the change wisely. I've decided to invest it for you.
Josh: That was nice. That was a little parable.
Donna: I want my money back.
TV Show: The West Wing
Donna: I’m not wild about this whole Indonesian thing.
Josh: What’s the problem?
Donna: I’ve been doing some reading on my own.
Josh: I wish you wouldn’t do that.
Donna: Why?
Josh: Because you tend to cull some bizarre factoid from a less than reputable source and then you blow it all out of proportion.
Donna: I do not.
Josh: Donna...
Donna: I just thought you might like to know that in certain parts of Indonesia, they summarily execute people they suspect of being sorcerers.
Josh: What?
Donna: I read it.
Josh: They... summarily execute people they suspect of being sorcerers?
Donna: They behead them.
Josh: Sorcerers.
Donna: Gangs of roving people. Beheading those they suspect of being sorcerers. You know with... what’s that thing that Death carries?
Josh: A scythe.
Donna: They’re doing it with a scythe.
Josh: Well, thanks for the head’s up.
Donna: I thought you might like to know who’s coming over for dinner.
Josh: You bet.
Josh: What’s the problem?
Donna: I’ve been doing some reading on my own.
Josh: I wish you wouldn’t do that.
Donna: Why?
Josh: Because you tend to cull some bizarre factoid from a less than reputable source and then you blow it all out of proportion.
Donna: I do not.
Josh: Donna...
Donna: I just thought you might like to know that in certain parts of Indonesia, they summarily execute people they suspect of being sorcerers.
Josh: What?
Donna: I read it.
Josh: They... summarily execute people they suspect of being sorcerers?
Donna: They behead them.
Josh: Sorcerers.
Donna: Gangs of roving people. Beheading those they suspect of being sorcerers. You know with... what’s that thing that Death carries?
Josh: A scythe.
Donna: They’re doing it with a scythe.
Josh: Well, thanks for the head’s up.
Donna: I thought you might like to know who’s coming over for dinner.
Josh: You bet.
TV Show: The West Wing
Harry: Mr. President?
C.J.: No questions right now, Harry.
Harry: A short one.
Bartlet: She’s not worried about the length of your question, she’s worried about the length of my response.
C.J.: No questions right now, Harry.
Harry: A short one.
Bartlet: She’s not worried about the length of your question, she’s worried about the length of my response.
TV Show: The West Wing
Mandy: It really bugs you that the President listens to me sometimes.
Josh: Yes, but you shouldn’t take it personally. It bugs me when the President listens to anyone who isn’t me.
Josh: Yes, but you shouldn’t take it personally. It bugs me when the President listens to anyone who isn’t me.
TV Show: The West Wing
Mandy: What about a negotiator?
Military officer: Negotiate what?
Mandy: A peaceful settlement.
Josh: This is a stand off with federal officers. A peaceful settlement is "put your guns down, you’re under arrest."
Mandy: I think it would be wise if we demonstrated that we exhausted every possible peaceful solution before we got all Ramboed up.
Josh: I don’t think it’s unreasonably macho for the White House to be aggressive in preserving democracy.
Mandy: Let me tell you something. Ultimately, it is not the nuts that are the greatest threat to democracy, as history has shown us over and over and over again, the greatest threat to democracy is the unbridled power of the state over its citizens. Which, by the way, that power is always unleashed in the name of preservation.
Josh: This isn’t abstract, Mandy. This isn’t a theoretical problem. The FBI says come out with your hands up, you come out with your hands up. At which point, you’re free to avail yourself of the entire justice system.
Mandy: Do you really believe that? Or are you just pissed off because I got into the game?
Military officer: Negotiate what?
Mandy: A peaceful settlement.
Josh: This is a stand off with federal officers. A peaceful settlement is "put your guns down, you’re under arrest."
Mandy: I think it would be wise if we demonstrated that we exhausted every possible peaceful solution before we got all Ramboed up.
Josh: I don’t think it’s unreasonably macho for the White House to be aggressive in preserving democracy.
Mandy: Let me tell you something. Ultimately, it is not the nuts that are the greatest threat to democracy, as history has shown us over and over and over again, the greatest threat to democracy is the unbridled power of the state over its citizens. Which, by the way, that power is always unleashed in the name of preservation.
Josh: This isn’t abstract, Mandy. This isn’t a theoretical problem. The FBI says come out with your hands up, you come out with your hands up. At which point, you’re free to avail yourself of the entire justice system.
Mandy: Do you really believe that? Or are you just pissed off because I got into the game?
TV Show: The West Wing
Bartlet: Time’s up.
Little: Actually, if I may, Mr. President. I didn’t get my full five minutes.
Bartlet: Yes, I know. But I got tired of listening to you. Now you listen to me. I have a Nobel Prize in Economics and I’m here to tell you that none of you know what the hell you’re talking about. At 12: 01 am, I’m using my executive power to nationalize the trucking industry.
Little: You can’t do that, Mr. President...
Bartlet: Fourteen White House lawyers disagree. Truman did it in ‘52 with the coal mines.
Little: And it was struck down by the Supreme Court.
Bartlet: In 50 years, there’s a new bench and I’ll take my chances. As for Labor, I am calling Congress into Emergency Session to grant me the authority to draft the truckers into military service. [Russo and the Truckers Union delegates look dumbfounded] You’re going to love our food. Nice talking to you folks. If this isn’t settled in 47 minutes, don’t worry. We know where to find you.
Little: Actually, if I may, Mr. President. I didn’t get my full five minutes.
Bartlet: Yes, I know. But I got tired of listening to you. Now you listen to me. I have a Nobel Prize in Economics and I’m here to tell you that none of you know what the hell you’re talking about. At 12: 01 am, I’m using my executive power to nationalize the trucking industry.
Little: You can’t do that, Mr. President...
Bartlet: Fourteen White House lawyers disagree. Truman did it in ‘52 with the coal mines.
Little: And it was struck down by the Supreme Court.
Bartlet: In 50 years, there’s a new bench and I’ll take my chances. As for Labor, I am calling Congress into Emergency Session to grant me the authority to draft the truckers into military service. [Russo and the Truckers Union delegates look dumbfounded] You’re going to love our food. Nice talking to you folks. If this isn’t settled in 47 minutes, don’t worry. We know where to find you.
TV Show: The West Wing
Bartlet: We should organize a staff field-trip to Shenandoah. I could even act as the guide. What do you think?
Josh: [Under his breath] Good a place as any to dump your body.
Bartlet: What was that?
Josh: ... Did I say that out loud?
Bartlet: See, and I was gonna let you go home.
Josh: [Sinking feeling] ... But instead?
Bartlet: We're gonna talk about Yosemite.
Josh: [Under his breath] Good a place as any to dump your body.
Bartlet: What was that?
Josh: ... Did I say that out loud?
Bartlet: See, and I was gonna let you go home.
Josh: [Sinking feeling] ... But instead?
Bartlet: We're gonna talk about Yosemite.
TV Show: The West Wing
Toby: All right... It couldn't have gone far, right?
Sam: No.
Toby: Somewhere in this building... is our talent.
Sam: Yes.
Sam: No.
Toby: Somewhere in this building... is our talent.
Sam: Yes.
TV Show: The West Wing
Bartlet: I find these [Cabinet] meetings to be a fairly mind-numbing experience, but Leo assures me they are Constitutionally required.
TV Show: The West Wing
Sam: You're asking me out on a date.
Mallory: No, I'm asking you to accompany me to see an internationally renowned opera company perform a work indigenous to its culture.
Sam: Right, and in what way will it distinguish itself from a date?
Mallory: There will be, under no circumstances, sex for you at the end of the evening.
Sam: Right.
Mallory: So what do you say?
Sam: Well, like most people I'm an absolute nut for Chinese opera. The Chinese being known the world over for their soaring and romantic melodies, and what with your guarantee that there won’t be sex, I don’t see how I could say no.
Mallory: No, I'm asking you to accompany me to see an internationally renowned opera company perform a work indigenous to its culture.
Sam: Right, and in what way will it distinguish itself from a date?
Mallory: There will be, under no circumstances, sex for you at the end of the evening.
Sam: Right.
Mallory: So what do you say?
Sam: Well, like most people I'm an absolute nut for Chinese opera. The Chinese being known the world over for their soaring and romantic melodies, and what with your guarantee that there won’t be sex, I don’t see how I could say no.
TV Show: The West Wing
Bartlet: John.
Hoynes: What did I do? Where in our past, what did I do to make you treat me this way? What did I ever do except deliver the South?
Bartlet: You shouldn't have made me beg, John.
Hoynes: Due respect Mr President you had just kicked my ass in the primary. I'm 15 years younger than you are I have my career to think of.
Hoynes: What did I do? Where in our past, what did I do to make you treat me this way? What did I ever do except deliver the South?
Bartlet: You shouldn't have made me beg, John.
Hoynes: Due respect Mr President you had just kicked my ass in the primary. I'm 15 years younger than you are I have my career to think of.
TV Show: The West Wing
Sam: In 1787, there was a sizable block of delegates who were initially opposed to the Bill of Rights. This is what a member of the Georgia delegation had to say by way of opposition; 'If we list a set of rights, some fools in the future are going to claim that people are entitled only to those rights enumerated and no others.' So the Framers knew...
Harrison: Were you just calling me a fool, Mr. Seaborn?
Sam: I wasn't calling you a fool, sir. The brand new state of Georgia was.
Harrison: Were you just calling me a fool, Mr. Seaborn?
Sam: I wasn't calling you a fool, sir. The brand new state of Georgia was.
TV Show: The West Wing
Sam: It's not just about abortion, it's about the next 20 years. Twenties and Thirties it was the role of government, Fifties and Sixties it was civil rights. The next two decades it's gonna be privacy. I'm talking about the Internet. I'm talking about cell phones. I'm talking about health records and who's gay and who's not. And moreover, in a country born on the will to be free, what could be more fundamental than this?
TV Show: The West Wing
CJ: What are you holding?
Danny: It’s a goldfish.
CJ: Why?
Danny: It’s for you.
CJ: Really?
Danny: Josh said you like goldfish.
CJ: [laughing] The crackers, Danny, the cheese things that you have at a party.
Danny: Oh… Ah… You know what I’m not a hundred percent sure I was supposed to know that.
CJ: : The crackers, Danny.
Danny: Well fine, now I got a goldfish.
CJ: [still laughing] Give it to me.
Danny: No, no, no.
CJ: No, you’ll kill it.
Danny: You think I can’t take care of a goldfish?
CJ: I absolutely do not.
Danny: Her name’s Gail, by the way.
CJ: The fish?
Danny: Yeah.
CJ: You named it Gail?
Danny: No, the guy in the store.
CJ: [more laughing] Come here. [Gives Danny a kiss on the cheek] Thanks for the fish.
Danny: It’s a goldfish.
CJ: Why?
Danny: It’s for you.
CJ: Really?
Danny: Josh said you like goldfish.
CJ: [laughing] The crackers, Danny, the cheese things that you have at a party.
Danny: Oh… Ah… You know what I’m not a hundred percent sure I was supposed to know that.
CJ: : The crackers, Danny.
Danny: Well fine, now I got a goldfish.
CJ: [still laughing] Give it to me.
Danny: No, no, no.
CJ: No, you’ll kill it.
Danny: You think I can’t take care of a goldfish?
CJ: I absolutely do not.
Danny: Her name’s Gail, by the way.
CJ: The fish?
Danny: Yeah.
CJ: You named it Gail?
Danny: No, the guy in the store.
CJ: [more laughing] Come here. [Gives Danny a kiss on the cheek] Thanks for the fish.
TV Show: The West Wing
Josh: I was interrogating this intern from the legislative liaison’s office and she broke down crying while telling me about a bong she had made out of an eggplant.
Leo: You can do that?
Josh: I used to use a potato.
Leo: You’ve always been industrious.
Leo: You can do that?
Josh: I used to use a potato.
Leo: You’ve always been industrious.
TV Show: The West Wing
Bartlet: Did you have a drink yesterday?
Leo: No, sir.
Bartlet: Do you plan to have a drink today?
Leo: No, sir.
Bartlet: That's all you ever have to say to me.
Leo: No, sir.
Bartlet: Do you plan to have a drink today?
Leo: No, sir.
Bartlet: That's all you ever have to say to me.
TV Show: The West Wing
Bartlet: Would it surprise you to know that for the last few months you have been on a short list of candidates for the bench?
Mendoza: Yes, it would.
Bartlet: Well then this is gonna knock your socks off. Tomorrow evening at 5 o’clock, I am naming you as my nominee to be the next Associate Justice of the United States Supreme Court. You were not the first choice, but you are the last one, and the right one. Will you accept the nomination?
Mendoza: With honor.
Mendoza: Yes, it would.
Bartlet: Well then this is gonna knock your socks off. Tomorrow evening at 5 o’clock, I am naming you as my nominee to be the next Associate Justice of the United States Supreme Court. You were not the first choice, but you are the last one, and the right one. Will you accept the nomination?
Mendoza: With honor.
TV Show: The West Wing
Leo: One in three?
C.J.: Yes.
Leo: He said one in three White House staffers are on drugs?
C.J.: Yes.
Leo: Where does he get these stats?
C.J.: Leo-
Leo: I mean where does he pull them from?
C.J.: Out of the clear blue sky, but that doesn’t matter!
Leo: [to Margaret] Is someone bringing me a tape on this?
Mandy: This isn’t happening to me.
Leo: Nothing’s happened, stay cool.
Sam: Is it possible for Peter Lillianfield to be a bigger jackass? You think if he tried hard, there’s room for him to be a slightly bigger horse's ass than he’s being right now?
C.J.: At some point you hit your head on the ceiling, don’t you?
Sam: I think there’s unexplored potential.
Josh: ‘Sup.
Mandy: Josh.
Josh: Five White House staffers in the room. I would like to say to the 1.6 of you who are stoned right now that it’s time to share.
C.J.: Yes.
Leo: He said one in three White House staffers are on drugs?
C.J.: Yes.
Leo: Where does he get these stats?
C.J.: Leo-
Leo: I mean where does he pull them from?
C.J.: Out of the clear blue sky, but that doesn’t matter!
Leo: [to Margaret] Is someone bringing me a tape on this?
Mandy: This isn’t happening to me.
Leo: Nothing’s happened, stay cool.
Sam: Is it possible for Peter Lillianfield to be a bigger jackass? You think if he tried hard, there’s room for him to be a slightly bigger horse's ass than he’s being right now?
C.J.: At some point you hit your head on the ceiling, don’t you?
Sam: I think there’s unexplored potential.
Josh: ‘Sup.
Mandy: Josh.
Josh: Five White House staffers in the room. I would like to say to the 1.6 of you who are stoned right now that it’s time to share.
TV Show: The West Wing
Bartlet: Apparently, I’ve arranged for an honor guard for somebody.
Toby: Yes, sir. I’m sorry.
Bartlet: No no. Just tell me, is there anything else I’ve arranged for? We’re still in NATO right?
Toby: Yes, sir.
Bartlet: What’s going on?
Toby: A homeless man died last night; a Korean War veteran, who was wearing a coat that I gave to the Goodwill. It had my card in it.
Bartlet: Toby, you’re not responsible for …
Toby: An hour and twenty minutes for the ambulance to get there. A Lance Corporal, United States Marine Corps, Second of the Seventh. The guy got better treatment at Panmunjom.
Bartlet: Toby, if we start pulling strings like this, you don’t think every homeless veteran would come out of the woodworks?
Toby: I can only hope, sir.
Toby: Yes, sir. I’m sorry.
Bartlet: No no. Just tell me, is there anything else I’ve arranged for? We’re still in NATO right?
Toby: Yes, sir.
Bartlet: What’s going on?
Toby: A homeless man died last night; a Korean War veteran, who was wearing a coat that I gave to the Goodwill. It had my card in it.
Bartlet: Toby, you’re not responsible for …
Toby: An hour and twenty minutes for the ambulance to get there. A Lance Corporal, United States Marine Corps, Second of the Seventh. The guy got better treatment at Panmunjom.
Bartlet: Toby, if we start pulling strings like this, you don’t think every homeless veteran would come out of the woodworks?
Toby: I can only hope, sir.
TV Show: The West Wing