The Wolf of Wall Street Quotes
Jordan Belfort: [on getting arrested]I'm sober for two years, stopped my drugs, settled down with my wife and kids, and then this happens! Rugrat gets busted down in Miami, and guess who happens to be with him? Saurel! That's right, out of all the Swiss bankers in Miami, it had to be him! Even more fucked, is that he got busted for shit that had nothing to do with me. It had nothing to fucking do with me! Some stuff about running drugs with Rocky Aoki, you know, the founder of Benihana? Benihana... Beni-fucking-hana? BENI-FUCKING-HANA? WHY? WHY, GOD? Why would You be so cruel as to use the king of Japanese restaurants to take me down?
Movie: The Wolf of Wall Street
Jordan Belfort: [after shipwreck]The nice thing about being rescued by Italians is that they feed you, make you drink red wine, then you get to dance.
Movie: The Wolf of Wall Street
Mark Hanna: [about jerking off]I want to, but that's not why I do it. I do it because I fucking *need* to.
Movie: The Wolf of Wall Street
[first lines, in an advertisement] Stratton Oakmont Commercial: The world of investing can be a jungle. Bulls. Bears. Danger at every turn. That's why we at Stratton Oakmont pride ourselves on being the best. Trained professionals to guide you through the financial wilderness. Stratton Oakmont. Stability. Integrity. Pride.
Movie: The Wolf of Wall Street
Donnie Azoff: The IRS, they allow for T&A, it's fine.
Max Belfort: T&E. T and E. It's T and E!
Max Belfort: T&E. T and E. It's T and E!
Movie: The Wolf of Wall Street
Jordan Belfort: Yep, on a daily basis I consume enough drugs to sedate Manhattan, Long Island and Queens - for a month. I take Quaaludes 10-15 times a day for my bag pain. Adderall to stay focused. Senax to take the edge off. Pot to mellow me out. Cocaine to wake me back-up. And morphine, well... because it's awesome. But of all the drugs under God's blue heaven, here is one that is my absolute favourite. See, enough of this shit will make you invincible - able to concur the world. And eviscerate your enemies. UHH! [Sniffs cocaine]
Jordan Belfort: And I'm not talking about this... I'm talking about this [shows 100$]
Jordan Belfort: .
Jordan Belfort: And I'm not talking about this... I'm talking about this [shows 100$]
Jordan Belfort: .
Movie: The Wolf of Wall Street
Jordan Belfort: Look, I knew these guys weren't like Harvard MBAs. Robbie Feinberg, the Pinhead, took five years to finish high school. Alden Kupferberg, the Sea Otter, didn't even graduate. Chester Ming, the depraved China man, thought jujitsu was in Israel. Smartest of the bunch was Nicky Koskoff. He actually went to law school. I called him Rugrat because of his piece of shit hairpiece. Still, give them to me young, hungry, and stupid, and in no time, I'll make 'em rich.
Movie: The Wolf of Wall Street
Donnie Azoff: I don't wanna die, Jordan! I've done a lot of bad shit, I'm going to hell!
Movie: The Wolf of Wall Street
Jordan Belfort: And if anyone here thinks I'm superficial or materialistic, go get a job at fucking McDonald's, 'cause that's where you fucking belong!
Movie: The Wolf of Wall Street
Donnie Azoff: [raves at Brad]You're gonna knock whose fucking teeth in? Whose fucking teeth are you gonna knock in? I put the money on that fucking table, not you!
Jordan Belfort: He's got a gun you fucking idiot!
Donnie Azoff: Fuck his gun!
Jordan Belfort: He's got a gun you fucking idiot!
Donnie Azoff: Fuck his gun!
Movie: The Wolf of Wall Street
Donnie Azoff: [masturbates to Naomi]Perfect...
Hildy Azoff: Donnie, what the fuck are you doing, you piece of shit? [beats down Donnie]
Jordan Belfort: [to Naomi]You have to excuse my friend.
Hildy Azoff: Donnie, what the fuck are you doing, you piece of shit? [beats down Donnie]
Jordan Belfort: [to Naomi]You have to excuse my friend.
Movie: The Wolf of Wall Street
Jordan Belfort: Give me a kiss, sweetheart.
Naomi Lapaglia: Jordan.
Jordan Belfort: Oh come on, baby. I haven't made love to you in so long.
Naomi Lapaglia: No.
Jordan Belfort: Please.
Naomi Lapaglia: Jordan, stop it. [Jordan continues kissing her]
Naomi Lapaglia: No! Jordan, stop it!
Jordan Belfort: [flashes to Jordan having sex with Naomi]I love you so much.
Naomi Lapaglia: I fucking hate you , Jordan! Get off me!
Jordan Belfort: No, baby. Don't do that. You know how much I love you, right? Stop that sweetie, please?
Naomi Lapaglia: [pauses]You wanna fuck me, Jordan? You wanna fuck me? Good. Go at it. Go ahead and fuck me. I want you to fuck me real hard. I want you to fuck me like it's the last fucking time. Come on.
Jordan Belfort: Babe, why you doing it like that?
Naomi Lapaglia: Because I want you to come for me, baby.
Jordan Belfort: Come on, baby.
Naomi Lapaglia: Come for me, baby. I want you to come for me like it's the last fucking time.
Jordan Belfort: Yeah?
Naomi Lapaglia: Yeah! Come on, baby. Come for me. Come on, baby.
Jordan Belfort: Yeah? Want me to come for you?
Naomi Lapaglia: Yeah. [Jordan forcefully finishes]
Jordan Belfort: Oh God! Oh! [laughing]
Jordan Belfort: Oh baby. That was so fucking great.
Naomi Lapaglia: That was the last time.
Jordan Belfort: What do you mean, baby?
Naomi Lapaglia: I mean that was the last time we ever have sex.
Naomi Lapaglia: Jordan.
Jordan Belfort: Oh come on, baby. I haven't made love to you in so long.
Naomi Lapaglia: No.
Jordan Belfort: Please.
Naomi Lapaglia: Jordan, stop it. [Jordan continues kissing her]
Naomi Lapaglia: No! Jordan, stop it!
Jordan Belfort: [flashes to Jordan having sex with Naomi]I love you so much.
Naomi Lapaglia: I fucking hate you , Jordan! Get off me!
Jordan Belfort: No, baby. Don't do that. You know how much I love you, right? Stop that sweetie, please?
Naomi Lapaglia: [pauses]You wanna fuck me, Jordan? You wanna fuck me? Good. Go at it. Go ahead and fuck me. I want you to fuck me real hard. I want you to fuck me like it's the last fucking time. Come on.
Jordan Belfort: Babe, why you doing it like that?
Naomi Lapaglia: Because I want you to come for me, baby.
Jordan Belfort: Come on, baby.
Naomi Lapaglia: Come for me, baby. I want you to come for me like it's the last fucking time.
Jordan Belfort: Yeah?
Naomi Lapaglia: Yeah! Come on, baby. Come for me. Come on, baby.
Jordan Belfort: Yeah? Want me to come for you?
Naomi Lapaglia: Yeah. [Jordan forcefully finishes]
Jordan Belfort: Oh God! Oh! [laughing]
Jordan Belfort: Oh baby. That was so fucking great.
Naomi Lapaglia: That was the last time.
Jordan Belfort: What do you mean, baby?
Naomi Lapaglia: I mean that was the last time we ever have sex.
Movie: The Wolf of Wall Street
Jordan Belfort: The Quaalude, or lude, as it is commonly referred to, was first synthesized in 1951 by an Indian doctor - that's dots, not feathers - as a sedative, and was prescribed to stressed-out housewives with sleep disorders. But pretty soon, somebody figured out that if you resisted the urge to sleep for just fifteen minutes, you got a pretty kick-ass high from it. Didn't take long for people to start abusing ludes, of course, and in 1982 the U.S. government Schedule 1'd them, along with the rest of the world. Which meant there was only a finite amount of these things left. No shit. You can't even buy them anymore. You people are all shit out of luck.
Movie: The Wolf of Wall Street
Jordan Belfort: Hello, John. How are you doing today? You mailed in my company a postcard a few weeks back, requesting information on penny stocks that had huge upside potential with very little downside risk. Does that ring a bell?
John: Yeah, I may have sent something.
Jordan Belfort: Okay, great. The reason for the call today, John, is something just came across my desk, John. It is perhaps the *best* thing I've seen in the last six months. If you have 60 seconds, I'd like to share the idea with you. You got a minute?
John: Actually, I'm really very...
Jordan Belfort: The name of the company, Aerotyne International. It is a cutting edge high-tech firm out of the Midwest awaiting imminent patent approval on the next generation of radar detectors that have both huge military and civilian applications. Now, right now, John, the stock trades over-the-counter at 10 cents a share. And by the way, John, our analysts indicate it could go a heck of a lot higher than that. Your profit on a mere $6,000 investment could be upwards of $60,000!
John: Jesus! That's my mortgage, man.
Jordan Belfort: Exactly. You could pay off your mortgage.
John: This stock will pay off my house?
Jordan Belfort: John, one thing I can promise you, even in this market, is that I never ask my clients to judge me on my winners. I ask them to judge me on my losers because I have so few. And in the case of Aerotyne, based on every technical factor out there, John, we are looking at a grand slam home run.
John: Okay, let's do it. I'll do four grand.
Jordan Belfort: $4,000? That'd be 40,000 shares, John. Let me lock in that trade right now and get back to you with my secretary with an exact confirmation. Sound good, john?
John: Yeah, sounds good.
Jordan Belfort: Great. Hey, John. Thank you for your v
John: Yeah, I may have sent something.
Jordan Belfort: Okay, great. The reason for the call today, John, is something just came across my desk, John. It is perhaps the *best* thing I've seen in the last six months. If you have 60 seconds, I'd like to share the idea with you. You got a minute?
John: Actually, I'm really very...
Jordan Belfort: The name of the company, Aerotyne International. It is a cutting edge high-tech firm out of the Midwest awaiting imminent patent approval on the next generation of radar detectors that have both huge military and civilian applications. Now, right now, John, the stock trades over-the-counter at 10 cents a share. And by the way, John, our analysts indicate it could go a heck of a lot higher than that. Your profit on a mere $6,000 investment could be upwards of $60,000!
John: Jesus! That's my mortgage, man.
Jordan Belfort: Exactly. You could pay off your mortgage.
John: This stock will pay off my house?
Jordan Belfort: John, one thing I can promise you, even in this market, is that I never ask my clients to judge me on my winners. I ask them to judge me on my losers because I have so few. And in the case of Aerotyne, based on every technical factor out there, John, we are looking at a grand slam home run.
John: Okay, let's do it. I'll do four grand.
Jordan Belfort: $4,000? That'd be 40,000 shares, John. Let me lock in that trade right now and get back to you with my secretary with an exact confirmation. Sound good, john?
John: Yeah, sounds good.
Jordan Belfort: Great. Hey, John. Thank you for your v
Movie: The Wolf of Wall Street
Jordan Belfort: Let me tell you something. There is no nobility in poverty. I have been a rich man and I have been a poor man. And I choose rich every fucking time. Because at least as a rich man, when I have to face my problems, I show up in the back of a limo, wearing a $2,000 suit and a $40,000 gold fucking watch!
Movie: The Wolf of Wall Street
Naomi Lapaglia: Good morning, daddy. Where's my kiss?
Jordan Belfort: Hey, sweetheart! Does daddy get a kiss from both of his little girls, huh?
Naomi Lapaglia: Oh no. No, daddy doesn't even get to touch mommy for a very, very, very long time.
Jordan Belfort: Daddy's really sorry about what he said in the other room. He didn't mean any of it.
Naomi Lapaglia: Daddy shouldn't waste his time. And from now on, it's gonna be nothing but short, short skirts around the house. And you know something else, daddy? Mommy is just so sick and tired of wearing panties.
Jordan Belfort: Yeah?
Naomi Lapaglia: Yeah. In fact, she's decided to throw them all away. [opens legs]
Naomi Lapaglia: So take a good look, daddy. You're gonna be seeing an awful lot of this around the house.
Jordan Belfort: Oh, baby. Yeah mommy.
Naomi Lapaglia: But no touching.
Jordan Belfort: Ow.
Naomi Lapaglia: What's wrong, daddy?
Jordan Belfort: Mmm, baby. Okay, mommy likes to play games with daddy. Mommy, have you ever noticed anything odd about Mr. Fuzzy Bear over there? His eyes seem to be a little bit odd, don't they? Yeah, there's something a little bit different about his eyes. Yes, I think it's true. Say hi, mommy! [waves to security camera]
Jordan Belfort: Say hi to Rocco and Rocco! Say hi! Hi, fellas!
Naomi Lapaglia: Fuck you!
Jordan Belfort: [narration]Of all the fucking days, she chooses today to give me blue balls.
Jordan Belfort: Hey, sweetheart! Does daddy get a kiss from both of his little girls, huh?
Naomi Lapaglia: Oh no. No, daddy doesn't even get to touch mommy for a very, very, very long time.
Jordan Belfort: Daddy's really sorry about what he said in the other room. He didn't mean any of it.
Naomi Lapaglia: Daddy shouldn't waste his time. And from now on, it's gonna be nothing but short, short skirts around the house. And you know something else, daddy? Mommy is just so sick and tired of wearing panties.
Jordan Belfort: Yeah?
Naomi Lapaglia: Yeah. In fact, she's decided to throw them all away. [opens legs]
Naomi Lapaglia: So take a good look, daddy. You're gonna be seeing an awful lot of this around the house.
Jordan Belfort: Oh, baby. Yeah mommy.
Naomi Lapaglia: But no touching.
Jordan Belfort: Ow.
Naomi Lapaglia: What's wrong, daddy?
Jordan Belfort: Mmm, baby. Okay, mommy likes to play games with daddy. Mommy, have you ever noticed anything odd about Mr. Fuzzy Bear over there? His eyes seem to be a little bit odd, don't they? Yeah, there's something a little bit different about his eyes. Yes, I think it's true. Say hi, mommy! [waves to security camera]
Jordan Belfort: Say hi to Rocco and Rocco! Say hi! Hi, fellas!
Naomi Lapaglia: Fuck you!
Jordan Belfort: [narration]Of all the fucking days, she chooses today to give me blue balls.
Movie: The Wolf of Wall Street
Naomi Lapaglia: Oh my God!
Jordan Belfort: Will you marry me?
Naomi Lapaglia: Oh my God.
Jordan Belfort: Is that a yes?
Naomi Lapaglia: Are you sure?
Jordan Belfort: Yeah I'm sure. Yeah, I'm sure. Are you sure?
Naomi Lapaglia: Yeah!
Jordan Belfort: Will you marry me?
Naomi Lapaglia: Oh my God.
Jordan Belfort: Is that a yes?
Naomi Lapaglia: Are you sure?
Jordan Belfort: Yeah I'm sure. Yeah, I'm sure. Are you sure?
Naomi Lapaglia: Yeah!
Movie: The Wolf of Wall Street
Donnie Azoff: I hate that fuckin' dog.
Jordan Belfort: Yeah, it's getting old and decrepit. It's startin' to shit in the house again.
Donnie Azoff: Me too.
Jordan Belfort: Yeah, it's getting old and decrepit. It's startin' to shit in the house again.
Donnie Azoff: Me too.
Movie: The Wolf of Wall Street
Jordan Belfort: [whispering]Donnie. Hold on baby. Donnie. [yells]
Jordan Belfort: Donnie!
Donnie Azoff: What?
Jordan Belfort: Get the fucking ludes.
Donnie Azoff: I don't wanna die, Jordan! I did a lot of bad shit. I'm going to hell, Jordan! I fucked up! I fucked up so bad.
Jordan Belfort: Get the ludes downstairs!
Donnie Azoff: What are you saying?
Jordan Belfort: Fuck. Get the ludes!
Donnie Azoff: I can't go down there, Jordan. It's flooded! It's three feet of water down there.
Jordan Belfort: I will not die sober! Get those fucking ludes!
Naomi Lapaglia: Where's he going?
Jordan Belfort: Hold on, baby!
Naomi Lapaglia: Donnie! Is he fucking crazy?
Jordan Belfort: He's just warning everybody.
Captain Ted Beecham: Jesus Christ. Hold on! Get away from the window! Rogue wave! [on radio]
Captain Ted Beecham: Mayday! This is Captain Ted Beecham aboard the yacht Naomi! We are going down!
Donnie Azoff: I got 'em!
Jordan Belfort: Give me one for the nerves!
Naomi Lapaglia: You're doing fucking drugs right now?
Captain Ted Beecham: This is a fucking mayday! We require immediate assistance!
Jordan Belfort: [narration]The nice thing about getting rescued by Italians is that they feed you, make you drink red wine, then you get to dance.
Jordan Belfort: Donnie!
Donnie Azoff: What?
Jordan Belfort: Get the fucking ludes.
Donnie Azoff: I don't wanna die, Jordan! I did a lot of bad shit. I'm going to hell, Jordan! I fucked up! I fucked up so bad.
Jordan Belfort: Get the ludes downstairs!
Donnie Azoff: What are you saying?
Jordan Belfort: Fuck. Get the ludes!
Donnie Azoff: I can't go down there, Jordan. It's flooded! It's three feet of water down there.
Jordan Belfort: I will not die sober! Get those fucking ludes!
Naomi Lapaglia: Where's he going?
Jordan Belfort: Hold on, baby!
Naomi Lapaglia: Donnie! Is he fucking crazy?
Jordan Belfort: He's just warning everybody.
Captain Ted Beecham: Jesus Christ. Hold on! Get away from the window! Rogue wave! [on radio]
Captain Ted Beecham: Mayday! This is Captain Ted Beecham aboard the yacht Naomi! We are going down!
Donnie Azoff: I got 'em!
Jordan Belfort: Give me one for the nerves!
Naomi Lapaglia: You're doing fucking drugs right now?
Captain Ted Beecham: This is a fucking mayday! We require immediate assistance!
Jordan Belfort: [narration]The nice thing about getting rescued by Italians is that they feed you, make you drink red wine, then you get to dance.
Movie: The Wolf of Wall Street
Jordan Belfort: [narration]Say what you will, but the Duchess did have style. She brought in a decorator, feng shui'd the whole place. She even hired a gay butler. This guy was smart, sophisticated, professional. Really, really great. Except for that one time.
Naomi Lapaglia: [Naomi walks in on a gay orgy]Oh my God!
Nicholas the Butler: Oh, hey. Is it Wednesday already? Uh, what the fuck! That is fucked up!
Naomi Lapaglia: [to Jordan after the incident]He must have thought we were still at the Hamptons this weekend, you know.
Jordan Belfort: Right, right. Where were they doing it, sweetheart? In the bedroom?
Naomi Lapaglia: They were everywhere! There were two guys over there on the table. There were more over here. There were four right here.
Jordan Belfort: Ugh! Are you fucking serious? Right there? Why didn't you tell me, sweetheart?
Naomi Lapaglia: Baby, it gets worse. After they left I checked the apartment.
Naomi Lapaglia: [Naomi walks in on a gay orgy]Oh my God!
Nicholas the Butler: Oh, hey. Is it Wednesday already? Uh, what the fuck! That is fucked up!
Naomi Lapaglia: [to Jordan after the incident]He must have thought we were still at the Hamptons this weekend, you know.
Jordan Belfort: Right, right. Where were they doing it, sweetheart? In the bedroom?
Naomi Lapaglia: They were everywhere! There were two guys over there on the table. There were more over here. There were four right here.
Jordan Belfort: Ugh! Are you fucking serious? Right there? Why didn't you tell me, sweetheart?
Naomi Lapaglia: Baby, it gets worse. After they left I checked the apartment.
Movie: The Wolf of Wall Street
Mark Hanna: We don't start dialing at 9: 30, because our clients are already answering the phone! 3... 2... 1, let's fuck!
Movie: The Wolf of Wall Street
Chester Ming: I can sell anything. Shit, I can sell lubes to a convent full of nuns, get 'em so horny they'll be fucking each other in the coffers.
Movie: The Wolf of Wall Street
Jordan Belfort: [offers pen to Chester]You can sell anything? Sell that. Sell me that pen.
Chester Ming: Can I finish eating first? I haven't eaten all day.
Chester Ming: Can I finish eating first? I haven't eaten all day.
Movie: The Wolf of Wall Street
Jordan Belfort: What the fuck is that kid doing? What's he doing?
Donnie Azoff: The biggest IPO in this firm's history, what the fuck is he doing?
Janet (Jordan's Assistant): Is he... is he wearing a bowtie?
Donnie Azoff: Hi, how you doing?
Stratton Broker in a Bowtie: [timid]Good.
Donnie Azoff: You cleaning your fishbowl?
Stratton Broker in a Bowtie: I just, I had a minute and I...
Donnie Azoff: You had a minute? And today, you needed to clean your fishbowl, today?
Stratton Broker in a Bowtie: I finished my paperwork and I was, just had a couple minutes.
Donnie Azoff: Okay, nice to meet you.
Donnie Azoff: On new issue day? On cocksucking, motherfucking new issue day?
Donnie Azoff: This is what you do?
Donnie Azoff: Hey, everybody, listen up!
Donnie Azoff: This is what happens when you fuck with your pets on new issue day! [dangling the fish from the bowl by its tail and swallowing it]
Donnie Azoff: Take your little bowtie... Get your shit, and get the fuck out of my office. You understand?
Jordan Belfort: Get the fuck out!
Donnie Azoff: Everybody on point! We are here to make money! Everybody on point!
Jordan Belfort: A real wolf pit, which is exactly how I liked it.
Donnie Azoff: The biggest IPO in this firm's history, what the fuck is he doing?
Janet (Jordan's Assistant): Is he... is he wearing a bowtie?
Donnie Azoff: Hi, how you doing?
Stratton Broker in a Bowtie: [timid]Good.
Donnie Azoff: You cleaning your fishbowl?
Stratton Broker in a Bowtie: I just, I had a minute and I...
Donnie Azoff: You had a minute? And today, you needed to clean your fishbowl, today?
Stratton Broker in a Bowtie: I finished my paperwork and I was, just had a couple minutes.
Donnie Azoff: Okay, nice to meet you.
Donnie Azoff: On new issue day? On cocksucking, motherfucking new issue day?
Donnie Azoff: This is what you do?
Donnie Azoff: Hey, everybody, listen up!
Donnie Azoff: This is what happens when you fuck with your pets on new issue day! [dangling the fish from the bowl by its tail and swallowing it]
Donnie Azoff: Take your little bowtie... Get your shit, and get the fuck out of my office. You understand?
Jordan Belfort: Get the fuck out!
Donnie Azoff: Everybody on point! We are here to make money! Everybody on point!
Jordan Belfort: A real wolf pit, which is exactly how I liked it.
Movie: The Wolf of Wall Street
Jordan Belfort: 25 grand to the first cocksucker to nail the bulls-eye!
Movie: The Wolf of Wall Street