The X Files Quotes
Langly: Last week, I got into the Maryland DMV to change my endorsements so I could handicap park.
TV Show: The X-Files
Lieutenant: Here's a tip - aluminum foil makes a lovely hat, and it blocks out the government's mind control rays. Keep you guys outta trouble.
TV Show: The X-Files
[Mulder comes in carrying a plastic evidence bag.]
Bobby: What is that?
Mulder: (points to word "Evidence" clearly written on the bag) Evidence.
Bobby: What is that?
Mulder: (points to word "Evidence" clearly written on the bag) Evidence.
TV Show: The X-Files
Mulder: (as he climbs a tree) Hey, Scully, is this demonstration of boyish agility turning you on at all?
TV Show: The X-Files
Mulder: I don't think this was an act of grave robbing, Scully.
Scully: No, that's what we were doing.
Scully: No, that's what we were doing.
TV Show: The X-Files
Mulder: Maybe you don't know what you're looking for.
Scully: Like evidence of conjury or the black arts or shamanism, divination, Wicca or any kind of pagan or neo-pagan practice. Charms, cards, familiars, bloodstones, or hex signs or any of the ritual tableaux associated with the occult, Santeria, Voudoun, Macumba, or any high or low magic?
Mulder: Scully?
Scully: Yes?
Mulder: Marry me.
Scully: I was hoping for something a little more helpful.
Scully: Like evidence of conjury or the black arts or shamanism, divination, Wicca or any kind of pagan or neo-pagan practice. Charms, cards, familiars, bloodstones, or hex signs or any of the ritual tableaux associated with the occult, Santeria, Voudoun, Macumba, or any high or low magic?
Mulder: Scully?
Scully: Yes?
Mulder: Marry me.
Scully: I was hoping for something a little more helpful.
TV Show: The X-Files
Agent Kinsley: Last year was something of a personal revelation. We were doing an exercise called "Team Builders," where we were given two minutes to build a tower out of ordinary office furniture.
Agent Stonecypher: When I stood on Mike's shoulders and I put that electric pencil sharpener on top of the pile, we both knew - we could never have done it alone.
Mulder: (leaning over to Scully, whispering) Kill me now.
Agent Kinsley: You ever been to one of these team seminars, Agent Scully?
Scully: Um... I think I went to a constructive problem-solving course when I first joined the bureau.
Agent Stonecypher: Oh did you play that game where you can't use any negative words?
Agent Kinsley: I couldn't believe how hard it was not to use the word "but!"
Mulder: (falsely enthusiastic) I'm having that same problem right now!
Agent Stonecypher: Have you ever been to a team seminar, Agent Mulder?
Mulder: (grinning at Scully) No. You know, unfortunately around this time of year, I always develop a severe hemorrhoidal condition.
Agent Kinsley: Well, it builds muscles you didn't even know you had.
Agent Stonecypher: Communication. That's the key.
[A police officer waves them down and the car stops.]
Officer: Sorry folks, it'll be a few minutes.
Agent Kinsley: What's going on?
Officer: Got a little situation, that's all.
Mulder: (opens the car door and bolts) Thank you, Jesus.
Agent Kinsley: [The three left in the car watch as Mulder walks off] Where's he goin'?
Agent Stonecypher: When I stood on Mike's shoulders and I put that electric pencil sharpener on top of the pile, we both knew - we could never have done it alone.
Mulder: (leaning over to Scully, whispering) Kill me now.
Agent Kinsley: You ever been to one of these team seminars, Agent Scully?
Scully: Um... I think I went to a constructive problem-solving course when I first joined the bureau.
Agent Stonecypher: Oh did you play that game where you can't use any negative words?
Agent Kinsley: I couldn't believe how hard it was not to use the word "but!"
Mulder: (falsely enthusiastic) I'm having that same problem right now!
Agent Stonecypher: Have you ever been to a team seminar, Agent Mulder?
Mulder: (grinning at Scully) No. You know, unfortunately around this time of year, I always develop a severe hemorrhoidal condition.
Agent Kinsley: Well, it builds muscles you didn't even know you had.
Agent Stonecypher: Communication. That's the key.
[A police officer waves them down and the car stops.]
Officer: Sorry folks, it'll be a few minutes.
Agent Kinsley: What's going on?
Officer: Got a little situation, that's all.
Mulder: (opens the car door and bolts) Thank you, Jesus.
Agent Kinsley: [The three left in the car watch as Mulder walks off] Where's he goin'?
TV Show: The X-Files
Scully: [Approaches Mulder in the woods as Michele Fazekas walks away] Mulder? We've got this conference. They're waiting.
Mulder: Yeah. How do I say this without using any negative words, Scully?
Scully: You want me to tell them that you're not gonna make it to this year's teamwork seminar.
Mulder: See? [Puts his hands on her arms and grins.] We don't need that conference! We have communication like that unspoken! You know what I'm thinking!
Scully: [Smiles and shakes her head]
Mulder: Yeah. How do I say this without using any negative words, Scully?
Scully: You want me to tell them that you're not gonna make it to this year's teamwork seminar.
Mulder: See? [Puts his hands on her arms and grins.] We don't need that conference! We have communication like that unspoken! You know what I'm thinking!
Scully: [Smiles and shakes her head]
TV Show: The X-Files
[Mulder is on his computer when there's a knock on the door.]
Mulder: It's open.
[Scully enters with a tray with a bottle of wine, two glasses, and some cheese]
Mulder: Who cut the cheese?
Scully: (rolls eyes, explains) Since you won't be making it to the conference.
Mulder: Mmm! Par-tay!
Scully: However, I must remind you that this goes against the bureau's policy of male and female agents consorting in the same motel room while on assignment.
Mulder: Try any of that "Tailhook" crap on me, Scully, I'll kick your ass.
Mulder: It's open.
[Scully enters with a tray with a bottle of wine, two glasses, and some cheese]
Mulder: Who cut the cheese?
Scully: (rolls eyes, explains) Since you won't be making it to the conference.
Mulder: Mmm! Par-tay!
Scully: However, I must remind you that this goes against the bureau's policy of male and female agents consorting in the same motel room while on assignment.
Mulder: Try any of that "Tailhook" crap on me, Scully, I'll kick your ass.
TV Show: The X-Files
Scully: Where are you going?
Mulder: I've gotta check something out.
Scully: You know, Mulder, sometimes I think some work on your communication skills wouldn't be such a bad idea.
Mulder: I'll be back soon, and we can build a tower of furniture. (grins) Okay?
[Scully shakes her head, smiles and drinks her wine]
Mulder: I've gotta check something out.
Scully: You know, Mulder, sometimes I think some work on your communication skills wouldn't be such a bad idea.
Mulder: I'll be back soon, and we can build a tower of furniture. (grins) Okay?
[Scully shakes her head, smiles and drinks her wine]
TV Show: The X-Files
Mulder: (about whatever monster is lurking in the forest) Maybe it can regulate its temperature. You don't know of any animal that can?
Scully: Ticks. I've heard they can halt their metabolism for up to 18 years, essentially going in to suspended animation until something warm-blooded comes along.
Mulder: That's interesting.
Scully: Why is that interesting?
Mulder: Thirty years ago, the town of Point Pleasant, West Virginia, was terrorized for over a year by something. Killing livestock, terrorizing the people. Witnesses described them as primitive-looking men with red, piercing eyes. Became known as the "Moth Men." I've got an X-File dating back to 1952 on it.
Scully: (dryly) What would that be filed next to? "The Cockroach that Ate Cincinnati?"
Mulder: No, "The Cockroach that Ate Cincinnati" is in the "C"s. Moth Men's over in the "M"s.
Scully: Ticks. I've heard they can halt their metabolism for up to 18 years, essentially going in to suspended animation until something warm-blooded comes along.
Mulder: That's interesting.
Scully: Why is that interesting?
Mulder: Thirty years ago, the town of Point Pleasant, West Virginia, was terrorized for over a year by something. Killing livestock, terrorizing the people. Witnesses described them as primitive-looking men with red, piercing eyes. Became known as the "Moth Men." I've got an X-File dating back to 1952 on it.
Scully: (dryly) What would that be filed next to? "The Cockroach that Ate Cincinnati?"
Mulder: No, "The Cockroach that Ate Cincinnati" is in the "C"s. Moth Men's over in the "M"s.
TV Show: The X-Files
Scully: (objecting as Mulder starts using a laptop taken from a crime scene) Mulder, that's evidence!
Mulder: Gee, I hope so.
Mulder: Gee, I hope so.
TV Show: The X-Files
Scully: (chasing after him) Mulder?
Mulder: [moves the lips on the boy he just staked to reveal vampire fangs] Look at that! Eh? [Scully taps the fangs to show that they're just plastic. Mulder looks horrified.] Oh sh- [Credits roll.]
Mulder: [moves the lips on the boy he just staked to reveal vampire fangs] Look at that! Eh? [Scully taps the fangs to show that they're just plastic. Mulder looks horrified.] Oh sh- [Credits roll.]
TV Show: The X-Files
Scully: Skinner wants a report in one hour. What are you going to tell him?
Mulder: What do you mean what am I gonna tell him? I'm gonna tell him exactly what I saw. What are you gonna tell him?
Scully: I'll tell him exactly what I saw.
Mulder: Now, how is that different? Look, Scully, I'm the one who may wind up going to prison here. I gotta know if you're gonna back me up or what.
Scully: (annoyed) First of all, if the family of Ronnie Strickland does indeed decide to sue the FBI for, I think the figure is $446 million, then you and I both will most certainly be co-defendants. And second of all... I don't even have a second of all, Mulder! 446 million dollars! I'm in this as deep as you are, and I'm not even the one that overreacted! I didn't do the [stabbing motion] with the thing!
Mulder: I did not overreact. Ronnie Strickland was a vampire!
Scully: Where's your proof?
Mulder: You're my proof! You were there!
[Scully sighs]
Mulder: Okay, now you're scaring me. I want to hear exactly what you're going to tell Skinner.
Scully: Oh, you want our stories straight.
Mulder: No, no, no. I didn't say that. I just want to hear it the way you saw it.
Scully: I don't feel comfortable with that.
Mulder: Prison, Scully. Your cell mate's nickname is going to be Large Marge. She's going to read a lot of Gertrude Stein.
Mulder: What do you mean what am I gonna tell him? I'm gonna tell him exactly what I saw. What are you gonna tell him?
Scully: I'll tell him exactly what I saw.
Mulder: Now, how is that different? Look, Scully, I'm the one who may wind up going to prison here. I gotta know if you're gonna back me up or what.
Scully: (annoyed) First of all, if the family of Ronnie Strickland does indeed decide to sue the FBI for, I think the figure is $446 million, then you and I both will most certainly be co-defendants. And second of all... I don't even have a second of all, Mulder! 446 million dollars! I'm in this as deep as you are, and I'm not even the one that overreacted! I didn't do the [stabbing motion] with the thing!
Mulder: I did not overreact. Ronnie Strickland was a vampire!
Scully: Where's your proof?
Mulder: You're my proof! You were there!
[Scully sighs]
Mulder: Okay, now you're scaring me. I want to hear exactly what you're going to tell Skinner.
Scully: Oh, you want our stories straight.
Mulder: No, no, no. I didn't say that. I just want to hear it the way you saw it.
Scully: I don't feel comfortable with that.
Mulder: Prison, Scully. Your cell mate's nickname is going to be Large Marge. She's going to read a lot of Gertrude Stein.
TV Show: The X-Files
Scully: You're saying that I actually hit him two times.
Mulder: Square in the chest. No effect.
Scully: ...and then he sort of flew at me like a flying squirrel.
Mulder: I don't think I'd use the phrase "flying squirrel" when I talk to Skinner, but... yeah, that's what happened.
Mulder: Square in the chest. No effect.
Scully: ...and then he sort of flew at me like a flying squirrel.
Mulder: I don't think I'd use the phrase "flying squirrel" when I talk to Skinner, but... yeah, that's what happened.
TV Show: The X-Files
Coroner: Probable cause of death... [looking at Ronnie Strickland's body with a stake through the heart] Gee, that's a tough one.
TV Show: The X-Files
[Mulder and Scully are awaiting outside Skinner's office]
Scully: Mulder, please just keep reminding him you were drugged.
Mulder: Would you stop that?
Scully: It wouldn't hurt.
Mulder: Stop it.
[Skinner sticks his head out of his office]
Skinner: Scully, Mulder-
[Mulder jumps to his feet]
Mulder: I was drugged!
Scully: Mulder, please just keep reminding him you were drugged.
Mulder: Would you stop that?
Scully: It wouldn't hurt.
Mulder: Stop it.
[Skinner sticks his head out of his office]
Skinner: Scully, Mulder-
[Mulder jumps to his feet]
Mulder: I was drugged!
TV Show: The X-Files
Walter Skinner: Ronnie Strickland's body has gone missing from the morgue; in conjunction with this the coroner's been attacked. His throat was bitten.
Scully: The coroner's dead?
Skinner: [uncomfortably] No... his throat was... bitten. It was sort of... gnawed on. (Mulder and Scully exchange a look) Daylight's burning, agents.
Scully: [bewildered] But... he was dead!
Mulder: [bemused] I noticed that.
Scully: He had a stake through his heart!
Mulder: I noticed that too.
Scully: The coroner's dead?
Skinner: [uncomfortably] No... his throat was... bitten. It was sort of... gnawed on. (Mulder and Scully exchange a look) Daylight's burning, agents.
Scully: [bewildered] But... he was dead!
Mulder: [bemused] I noticed that.
Scully: He had a stake through his heart!
Mulder: I noticed that too.
TV Show: The X-Files
Scully: (trying to start a fire with stones) You were an Indian guide. Help me out here.
Mulder: (leaning against a log, as he's been injured) Indian guide says maybe you should run to the store and get some matches.
Scully: I would, but I left my wallet in the car. [Sits next to him, gets out her gun]
Mulder: What are you doing?
Scully: Trying to open my gun. [Takes the clip out] If I can separate the shell from the casing, maybe I can get the powder to ignite.
Mulder: Mm. And maybe it'll start raining weenies and marshmallows.
Scully: Do I detect a hint of negativity?
Mulder: No! Yes, actually. Yeah.
Scully: Mulder, you need to keep warm. Your body's still in shock.
Mulder: I was told once that the best way to regenerate body heat is to crawl naked into a sleeping bag with somebody else who was already naked. (scoots closer to her)
Scully: (grinning) Maybe if it rained sleeping bags, you'll get lucky. [Mulder looks up at Scully in surprise; she continues working on getting the bullet apart.] You ever thought seriously about dying?
Mulder: Yeah, once, when I was at the Ice Capades.
Scully: [Gives him a look, then goes back to the bullet.] When I was fighting my cancer, I was angry at the injustice of it, and its meaninglessness. Then I realized that that was a struggle - to give it meaning, to make sense of it. It's like life.
Mulder: I think nature is supremely indifferent to whether we live or die. I mean, if you're lucky, you get 75 years, if you're really lucky you get 80 years, and if you're extraordinarily lucky, you get to live 50 of those years with a decent head of hair.
Scully: (chuckles) I guess it's like Las Vegas. The hous
Mulder: (leaning against a log, as he's been injured) Indian guide says maybe you should run to the store and get some matches.
Scully: I would, but I left my wallet in the car. [Sits next to him, gets out her gun]
Mulder: What are you doing?
Scully: Trying to open my gun. [Takes the clip out] If I can separate the shell from the casing, maybe I can get the powder to ignite.
Mulder: Mm. And maybe it'll start raining weenies and marshmallows.
Scully: Do I detect a hint of negativity?
Mulder: No! Yes, actually. Yeah.
Scully: Mulder, you need to keep warm. Your body's still in shock.
Mulder: I was told once that the best way to regenerate body heat is to crawl naked into a sleeping bag with somebody else who was already naked. (scoots closer to her)
Scully: (grinning) Maybe if it rained sleeping bags, you'll get lucky. [Mulder looks up at Scully in surprise; she continues working on getting the bullet apart.] You ever thought seriously about dying?
Mulder: Yeah, once, when I was at the Ice Capades.
Scully: [Gives him a look, then goes back to the bullet.] When I was fighting my cancer, I was angry at the injustice of it, and its meaninglessness. Then I realized that that was a struggle - to give it meaning, to make sense of it. It's like life.
Mulder: I think nature is supremely indifferent to whether we live or die. I mean, if you're lucky, you get 75 years, if you're really lucky you get 80 years, and if you're extraordinarily lucky, you get to live 50 of those years with a decent head of hair.
Scully: (chuckles) I guess it's like Las Vegas. The hous
TV Show: The X-Files
Scully: Why are you humoring them, Mulder?
Mulder: I'm not humoring them, Scully. This is a very serious crime.
Scully: So is perjury. So is calling out FBI. agents under false pretenses.
Mulder: For the purpose of what?
Scully: Isn't it obvious? I think what we're seeing here is an example of a culture for whom daytime talk shows and tabloid headlines have become a reality against which they measure their lives. A culture so obsessed by the media and a chance for self-dramatization that they'll do anything in order to gain a spotlight.
Mulder: I am alarmed that you would reduce these people to a cultural stereotype. Not everybody's dream is to get on Jerry Springer.
Scully: Psychologists often speak of the denial of an unthinkable evil or a misplacement of shared fears, anxieties taking the form of a hideous monster for whom the most horrific human attributes can be ascribed. What we can't possibly imagine ourselves capable of we can blame of the ogre, on the hunchback, on the lowly half-breed. Common sense alone will tell you that these legends, these unverified rumors, are ridiculous.
Mulder: But nonetheless, unverifiable and, therefore, true in the sense that they're believed to be true.
Scully: Is there anything that you don't believe in, Mulder?
Mulder: I'm not humoring them, Scully. This is a very serious crime.
Scully: So is perjury. So is calling out FBI. agents under false pretenses.
Mulder: For the purpose of what?
Scully: Isn't it obvious? I think what we're seeing here is an example of a culture for whom daytime talk shows and tabloid headlines have become a reality against which they measure their lives. A culture so obsessed by the media and a chance for self-dramatization that they'll do anything in order to gain a spotlight.
Mulder: I am alarmed that you would reduce these people to a cultural stereotype. Not everybody's dream is to get on Jerry Springer.
Scully: Psychologists often speak of the denial of an unthinkable evil or a misplacement of shared fears, anxieties taking the form of a hideous monster for whom the most horrific human attributes can be ascribed. What we can't possibly imagine ourselves capable of we can blame of the ogre, on the hunchback, on the lowly half-breed. Common sense alone will tell you that these legends, these unverified rumors, are ridiculous.
Mulder: But nonetheless, unverifiable and, therefore, true in the sense that they're believed to be true.
Scully: Is there anything that you don't believe in, Mulder?
TV Show: The X-Files
Scully: It begins where it ends...in nothingness. A nightmare born from deepest fears, coming to me unguarded...whispering images unlocked from time and distance. A soul unbound - touched by others but never held. On a course charted by some unseen hand. The journey ahead promising no more than my past reflecting back upon me. Until at last, I reach the end, facing a truth I can no longer deny. Alone, as ever.
TV Show: The X-Files
Physical therapist: That gunshot wound did a hell of a lot of damage. (looks at Mulder, realizing) ...you're the officer that shot him.
TV Show: The X-Files
Mulder: [Looking around at room covered in painted kanji symbols.] I'm gonna take a wild stab here and guess this is a clue.
TV Show: The X-Files
Mulder: Scully, just trace the call and cut off any access that woman has to a phone! I'm heading back now.
Scully: Mulder, I'm not at the safe house.
Mulder: You're not?
Scully: We're at the Chaimbridge Mall investigating a suicide.
Mulder: (frustrated) Why isn't anybody picking up at the safehouse switchboard?!
Scully: (sighs and hangs up; turns to US Marshalls) Back in the trucks.
Scully: Mulder, I'm not at the safe house.
Mulder: You're not?
Scully: We're at the Chaimbridge Mall investigating a suicide.
Mulder: (frustrated) Why isn't anybody picking up at the safehouse switchboard?!
Scully: (sighs and hangs up; turns to US Marshalls) Back in the trucks.
TV Show: The X-Files
Mulder: What happened?!
Skinner: (sigh) You were told to go home, Mulder.
Mulder: WHAT. HAPPENED?!
Skinner: (sigh) You were told to go home, Mulder.
Mulder: WHAT. HAPPENED?!
TV Show: The X-Files
Scully: (sarcastically) That's one hell of a plan, Mulder. The serial killer makes us believe that he's guilty, in turn diverting suspicion away from the real estate lady?
TV Show: The X-Files
Skinner: Mulder, a moment please? [Mulder pauses, turns around; Skinner approaches.] I just wanted to say you did a good job.
Mulder: How's that?
Skinner: Nobody could've figured this out but you. You knew it was Linda Bowman and not Modell. You were way ahead of me.
Mulder: I almost killed my partner.
Skinner: Mulder, despite that, you prevailed. You won her game.
Mulder: How come I feel like I lost?
Mulder: How's that?
Skinner: Nobody could've figured this out but you. You knew it was Linda Bowman and not Modell. You were way ahead of me.
Mulder: I almost killed my partner.
Skinner: Mulder, despite that, you prevailed. You won her game.
Mulder: How come I feel like I lost?
TV Show: The X-Files
Mulder: (about man who died after swallowing 12 pounds of mud; smiling) Is it possible that he took the term "mud pie" literally?
TV Show: The X-Files
Scully: His mother said that Bobby can't make friends. He's been in therapy for his anger since 1995.
Mulder: (grin) That could be me.
Mulder: (grin) That could be me.
TV Show: The X-Files
Scully: Yesterday morning, when I arrived at work, you were... characterstically exuberant.
Mulder: (slams tickets down on the desk excitedly) Hope you brought your cowboy boots!
Scully: You want us to go to Dallas?
Mulder: Yee-haw! Actually a town called Cheney, about 50 miles south of there. Population: 361. By all accounts, very rustic and charming. But as of late, ground zero, the locus for a series of mysterious nocturnal exsanguinations.
Scully: Exsanguinations? Of whom?
Mulder: [Flashes a slide of a dead cow.] How does that grab ya?
Scully: It's a-
Mulder: Dead cow! Exactly. Or more specifically, a dead 900 pound Holstein. Its body completely drained of blood, as was this one, (flashes slides) this one, this one, this one, and so on. Six, all in all, approximately one a week over the past six weeks.
Scully: Is there any sign of-
Mulder: Two small puncture wounds on the neck?
Scully: That's not what I was gonna ask.
Mulder: (excitedly) Too bad! We got em! Check it out. (flashes slide)
Scully: Well, these may be syringe marks, their placement meant to emulate fangs. Such ritualistic bloodletting points towards cultists of some sort, in which case- what?
Mulder: (laughing) Yeah, that's probably it. Satanic cultists. Come on, Scully!
Scully: You're not gonna tell me this is that Mexican goat sucker.
Mulder: El Chupacabra? No, they've got four fangs, not two. And they suck goats, hence the name.
Scully: So instead this would be...?
Mulder: Classic vampirism.
Scully: Of a bunch of cows?
Mulder: And one dead human! Last night - a vacationer from New Jersey- come on, we gotta go. [Grabs his coat and runs off]
Scully<
Mulder: (slams tickets down on the desk excitedly) Hope you brought your cowboy boots!
Scully: You want us to go to Dallas?
Mulder: Yee-haw! Actually a town called Cheney, about 50 miles south of there. Population: 361. By all accounts, very rustic and charming. But as of late, ground zero, the locus for a series of mysterious nocturnal exsanguinations.
Scully: Exsanguinations? Of whom?
Mulder: [Flashes a slide of a dead cow.] How does that grab ya?
Scully: It's a-
Mulder: Dead cow! Exactly. Or more specifically, a dead 900 pound Holstein. Its body completely drained of blood, as was this one, (flashes slides) this one, this one, this one, and so on. Six, all in all, approximately one a week over the past six weeks.
Scully: Is there any sign of-
Mulder: Two small puncture wounds on the neck?
Scully: That's not what I was gonna ask.
Mulder: (excitedly) Too bad! We got em! Check it out. (flashes slide)
Scully: Well, these may be syringe marks, their placement meant to emulate fangs. Such ritualistic bloodletting points towards cultists of some sort, in which case- what?
Mulder: (laughing) Yeah, that's probably it. Satanic cultists. Come on, Scully!
Scully: You're not gonna tell me this is that Mexican goat sucker.
Mulder: El Chupacabra? No, they've got four fangs, not two. And they suck goats, hence the name.
Scully: So instead this would be...?
Mulder: Classic vampirism.
Scully: Of a bunch of cows?
Mulder: And one dead human! Last night - a vacationer from New Jersey- come on, we gotta go. [Grabs his coat and runs off]
Scully<
TV Show: The X-Files