The X Files Quotes
Scully: Sir, I couldn't waste time explaining myself to your assistant.
Skinner: Tell me what is so urgent.
Scully: It's about Agent Mulder. He's done something incredibly rash.
Skinner: I can't.
Scully: He may be lost at sea.
Skinner: I can't, Agent Scully.
Scully: You can't what?
Skinner: I can't help you. There's nothing I can do.
Scully: This isn't for me; it's for Agent Mulder.
Skinner: My hands are tied. I'm not your direct superior any longer.
Scully: Don't you want to know what this is about?
[They walk back toward door.]
Skinner: No, I don't. I don't even what to hear it.
Scully: (pleading) Sir, this is about a man's life.
Skinner: (louder) I'm not allowed to have contact with you - any contact with either you or Mulder.
Skinner's secretary: She walked right past me, sir.
[Scully closes the door between the offices.]
Skinner: You're out of line, Scully.
Scully: No, sir, you're out of line. I'm sorry, but I'm coming to you for help and I've got nowhere else to go. I would hope that after everything that we have been through that you would at least have the courtesy and the decency and not to mention the respect to listen to what I have to say. Now, all I need is information. (Skinner takes note; glances at it.) You don't have to do anything else. Look, sir, if you know anybody at the Office of Naval Intelligence it would be of great help.
Skinner: (pauses; hands back the note) I could lose my job, my pension, I could even be subject to legal action.
[Scully sighs, exasperated; Skinner slams the door and holds it shut.]
Skinner: Use your head, Sc
Skinner: Tell me what is so urgent.
Scully: It's about Agent Mulder. He's done something incredibly rash.
Skinner: I can't.
Scully: He may be lost at sea.
Skinner: I can't, Agent Scully.
Scully: You can't what?
Skinner: I can't help you. There's nothing I can do.
Scully: This isn't for me; it's for Agent Mulder.
Skinner: My hands are tied. I'm not your direct superior any longer.
Scully: Don't you want to know what this is about?
[They walk back toward door.]
Skinner: No, I don't. I don't even what to hear it.
Scully: (pleading) Sir, this is about a man's life.
Skinner: (louder) I'm not allowed to have contact with you - any contact with either you or Mulder.
Skinner's secretary: She walked right past me, sir.
[Scully closes the door between the offices.]
Skinner: You're out of line, Scully.
Scully: No, sir, you're out of line. I'm sorry, but I'm coming to you for help and I've got nowhere else to go. I would hope that after everything that we have been through that you would at least have the courtesy and the decency and not to mention the respect to listen to what I have to say. Now, all I need is information. (Skinner takes note; glances at it.) You don't have to do anything else. Look, sir, if you know anybody at the Office of Naval Intelligence it would be of great help.
Skinner: (pauses; hands back the note) I could lose my job, my pension, I could even be subject to legal action.
[Scully sighs, exasperated; Skinner slams the door and holds it shut.]
Skinner: Use your head, Sc
TV Show: The X-Files
Phillip Padgett: I made a mistake myself.
Mulder: What's that, Mr. Padgett?
Phillip Padgett: In my book, I'd written that Agent Scully falls in love but that's obviously impossible. (looking at Mulder) Agent Scully is already in love.
Mulder: What's that, Mr. Padgett?
Phillip Padgett: In my book, I'd written that Agent Scully falls in love but that's obviously impossible. (looking at Mulder) Agent Scully is already in love.
TV Show: The X-Files
Mulder: What is that? Next to it. Is that, uh... oh, my... ugh. Is that brain? Is that brain matter there?
Scully: No, I'd say that's ground beef.
Mulder: Ground beef.
Scully: Yeah.
Scully: No, I'd say that's ground beef.
Mulder: Ground beef.
Scully: Yeah.
TV Show: The X-Files
[Scully exits the elevator and enters the X-Files office.]
Scully: (direct) I want you to do me a favor. It's not negotiable. Either you do it or I kill you. You understand?
[Spender, alone, gets up and comes over to her]
Spender: You okay, Agent Scully?
Scully: No, I'm not. I'm a gun ready to go off so don't test me, Spender. Don't even think about trying to weasel me.
Spender: What is it that you need?
Scully: (writing it down) Navy AWACS SLAR 100 K swath. South-southeast of Bermuda. I am looking for a boat, maybe a ship. 1939 luxury liner.
Spender: 1939?
Scully: Don't ask too many questions. I don't care what you do or who you do or who you have to grease, I need that information and I need it now. Are we clear on that?
Spender: Crystal.
Scully: And, Agent Spender... If you're not back in a hurry I am going to hunt you down, and so help me God... (makes a fist)
Spender: Right.
Scully: (direct) I want you to do me a favor. It's not negotiable. Either you do it or I kill you. You understand?
[Spender, alone, gets up and comes over to her]
Spender: You okay, Agent Scully?
Scully: No, I'm not. I'm a gun ready to go off so don't test me, Spender. Don't even think about trying to weasel me.
Spender: What is it that you need?
Scully: (writing it down) Navy AWACS SLAR 100 K swath. South-southeast of Bermuda. I am looking for a boat, maybe a ship. 1939 luxury liner.
Spender: 1939?
Scully: Don't ask too many questions. I don't care what you do or who you do or who you have to grease, I need that information and I need it now. Are we clear on that?
Spender: Crystal.
Scully: And, Agent Spender... If you're not back in a hurry I am going to hunt you down, and so help me God... (makes a fist)
Spender: Right.
TV Show: The X-Files
[Scully runs into Kersh's secretary.]
Kersh's secretary: Oh, Agent Scully.
Scully: I was just, uh...
Kersh's secretary: I was sent to come get you.
Scully: Yeah, I was waiting for Agent Spender, he was, uh... I'm supposed to pick up a delivery from him.
Kersh's secretary: Agent Spender is with Assistant Director Kersh.
Scully: (furious) That rat bastard!
[Scully runs to elevator.]
Scully: (to herself) Stupid!
Kersh's secretary: Oh, Agent Scully.
Scully: I was just, uh...
Kersh's secretary: I was sent to come get you.
Scully: Yeah, I was waiting for Agent Spender, he was, uh... I'm supposed to pick up a delivery from him.
Kersh's secretary: Agent Spender is with Assistant Director Kersh.
Scully: (furious) That rat bastard!
[Scully runs to elevator.]
Scully: (to herself) Stupid!
TV Show: The X-Files
Skinner: (joining her in the elevator) I've been trying to reach you. I got the information you needed.
[Scully takes the paper, grabs him and kisses him on the lips.]
Scully: How?
Skinner: Don't even ask.
Scully: (grateful) Sir, what you've done...
Skinner: Is save Mulder's ass. I know.
Scully: Yes.
[Doors open. Other agents are in the hall.]
Skinner: (sternly) And if you ever ask me to break policy or protocol I will have you written up, wrapped up and tossed out of the FBI for good. Am I understood, Agent Scully?
Scully: Yes. (gets back on the elevator; excited) Yes!
[Another agent is also in the elevator; he looks baffled at her joy.]
[Scully takes the paper, grabs him and kisses him on the lips.]
Scully: How?
Skinner: Don't even ask.
Scully: (grateful) Sir, what you've done...
Skinner: Is save Mulder's ass. I know.
Scully: Yes.
[Doors open. Other agents are in the hall.]
Skinner: (sternly) And if you ever ask me to break policy or protocol I will have you written up, wrapped up and tossed out of the FBI for good. Am I understood, Agent Scully?
Scully: Yes. (gets back on the elevator; excited) Yes!
[Another agent is also in the elevator; he looks baffled at her joy.]
TV Show: The X-Files
Sailor: Oi... American, right? Saved your life, mate. Krauts don't want no reason to bring you Yanks into the war.
Mulder: I got two words for you, buddy-- Pearl Harbor.
Sailor: What?
Mulder: After Poland, Hitler's on his way to Denmark, Holland and France with a few stops in between. The French all but roll over on us, the Italians seize their opportunity and the Japanese come through the back door. It's a long, bloody story. It fortunately has a happy ending.
Sailor: We win?
Mulder: Yeah, you come out on the side of history with no small amount of help from us. Not much to apologize over the next 50 years except for maybe the Spice Girls.
Mulder: I got two words for you, buddy-- Pearl Harbor.
Sailor: What?
Mulder: After Poland, Hitler's on his way to Denmark, Holland and France with a few stops in between. The French all but roll over on us, the Italians seize their opportunity and the Japanese come through the back door. It's a long, bloody story. It fortunately has a happy ending.
Sailor: We win?
Mulder: Yeah, you come out on the side of history with no small amount of help from us. Not much to apologize over the next 50 years except for maybe the Spice Girls.
TV Show: The X-Files
[Mulder and 1939 Scully run out of ballroom and into hall.]
Mulder: (taking her hand) Come on.
Nazi: Stehen bleiben! Stehen bleiben... Oder ich erschiesse Sie. Hände hoch... Hinter Ihren Kopf. Machen Sies! (Stand still! Stand still. Or I will shoot you. Hands up... behind your heads. Do it!)
[They stop running; 1939 Scully sighs; both put their hands behind their heads.]
1939 Scully: Now what, Einstein?
Nazi: Machen Sies! (Do it!)
[Gunshot; both jump then turn to see the Nazi dead on the floor. 1939 Skinner appears.]
1939 Skinner: God bless America. Now get your asses out of here.
Mulder: (taking her hand) Come on.
Nazi: Stehen bleiben! Stehen bleiben... Oder ich erschiesse Sie. Hände hoch... Hinter Ihren Kopf. Machen Sies! (Stand still! Stand still. Or I will shoot you. Hands up... behind your heads. Do it!)
[They stop running; 1939 Scully sighs; both put their hands behind their heads.]
1939 Scully: Now what, Einstein?
Nazi: Machen Sies! (Do it!)
[Gunshot; both jump then turn to see the Nazi dead on the floor. 1939 Skinner appears.]
1939 Skinner: God bless America. Now get your asses out of here.
TV Show: The X-Files
1939 Scully: So, if I don't turn this ship around...?
Mulder: In all likelihood, I won't exist.
1939 Scully: (disbelieving) Oh...
Mulder: And neither will you.
1939 Scully: Okay...
Mulder: So, in case we never meet again...
[Mulder grabs her and kisses he; she kisses back. She looks at him; pulls back her right fist and punches him. Mulder rubs his jaw appreciatively.]
Mulder: I was expecting a left.
Mulder: In all likelihood, I won't exist.
1939 Scully: (disbelieving) Oh...
Mulder: And neither will you.
1939 Scully: Okay...
Mulder: So, in case we never meet again...
[Mulder grabs her and kisses he; she kisses back. She looks at him; pulls back her right fist and punches him. Mulder rubs his jaw appreciatively.]
Mulder: I was expecting a left.
TV Show: The X-Files
[Mulder lying on his side in a hospital bed, unconscious; Scully leans over him.]
Scully: Mulder? Mulder, it's me. Hmm?
Mulder: (waking) Where am I? (tries to sit up)
Scully: You're in a hospital.
Mulder: Ooooo.
Scully: Lie still.
Mulder: I feel... Like hell.
Scully: I don't blame you. You've been through the wringer, I'd say.
Mulder: What happened to me?
Scully: You did something incredibly stupid.
Mulder: What did I do?
Scully: You went looking for a ship, Mulder. In the Bermuda Triangle.
Mulder: Say that again?
[Lone Gunmen enter the room.]
Frohike: Gilligan awakes.
Mulder: You were there.
Scully: Hmm?
Mulder: You were there, Scully.
[Skinner enters.]
Langly: (to the others) He's delirious.
Mulder: (referring to Skinner) And he was there, too.
Skinner: (dropping a bouquet of flowers on the nightstand) Right - Me and my dog Toto.
Mulder: No, you were there with the Nazis.
Scully: Mulder, will you settle down? It's an order.
Skinner: Not that he takes orders...
[Mulder rests the back of his hand on Scully's waist which is against his bed rail. Is happy, but obviously drugged.]
Mulder: You saved the world, Scully.
Scully: Yeah... You're right. I did.
Frohike: What kind of drugs is he on?
Langly: I want some.
Mulder: No, no, no... The Queen Anne- I found it. You were there with Thor's Hammer. I told you you had to turn the ship around and then I jumped overboard.
Scully:
Scully: Mulder? Mulder, it's me. Hmm?
Mulder: (waking) Where am I? (tries to sit up)
Scully: You're in a hospital.
Mulder: Ooooo.
Scully: Lie still.
Mulder: I feel... Like hell.
Scully: I don't blame you. You've been through the wringer, I'd say.
Mulder: What happened to me?
Scully: You did something incredibly stupid.
Mulder: What did I do?
Scully: You went looking for a ship, Mulder. In the Bermuda Triangle.
Mulder: Say that again?
[Lone Gunmen enter the room.]
Frohike: Gilligan awakes.
Mulder: You were there.
Scully: Hmm?
Mulder: You were there, Scully.
[Skinner enters.]
Langly: (to the others) He's delirious.
Mulder: (referring to Skinner) And he was there, too.
Skinner: (dropping a bouquet of flowers on the nightstand) Right - Me and my dog Toto.
Mulder: No, you were there with the Nazis.
Scully: Mulder, will you settle down? It's an order.
Skinner: Not that he takes orders...
[Mulder rests the back of his hand on Scully's waist which is against his bed rail. Is happy, but obviously drugged.]
Mulder: You saved the world, Scully.
Scully: Yeah... You're right. I did.
Frohike: What kind of drugs is he on?
Langly: I want some.
Mulder: No, no, no... The Queen Anne- I found it. You were there with Thor's Hammer. I told you you had to turn the ship around and then I jumped overboard.
Scully:
TV Show: The X-Files
Mulder: (pointing at a sign) Milepost 134. Two miles to go.
Scully: (dryly) I'm all a-tingle. (they share a look) So, Mulder, this supposed clandestine source who's contacted you how do we know that he's not just another crackpot whose encyclopedic knowledge of extraterrestrial life isn't derived exclusively from reruns of Star Trek?
Scully: (dryly) I'm all a-tingle. (they share a look) So, Mulder, this supposed clandestine source who's contacted you how do we know that he's not just another crackpot whose encyclopedic knowledge of extraterrestrial life isn't derived exclusively from reruns of Star Trek?
TV Show: The X-Files
Scully: Mulder, it's the dim hope of finding that proof that's kept us in this car, or one very much like it for more nights than I care to remember. (Mulder looks at her fondly) Driving hundreds if not thousands of miles through neighborhoods and cities and towns where people are raising families and buying homes and playing with their kids and their dogs, and... in short, living their lives. While we - we - we just keep driving.
Mulder: What is your point?
Scully: Don't you ever just want to stop? Get out of the damn car? Settle down and live something approaching a normal life?
Mulder: (defensive) This is a normal life. [Scully smiles to herself.]
Mulder: What is your point?
Scully: Don't you ever just want to stop? Get out of the damn car? Settle down and live something approaching a normal life?
Mulder: (defensive) This is a normal life. [Scully smiles to herself.]
TV Show: The X-Files
Mulder (as Morris): Okay, well, uh... Everybody have a, uh... a good day at your various, uh... (realizes no one is paying attention) All right. (Turns to leave.)
Chris: Mom!
Mrs Fletcher: Morris! What about Chris?
Mulder (as Morris): Chris?
Chris: You said you'd give me an answer today.
Mrs Fletcher: Her nose. You said you'd give her an answer about her nose.
[Family waits in anticipation. This is obviously a very important decision.]
Mulder (as Morris): Um... I think... [Chris gives him a little girl look.] I think she's a little young for plastic surgery don't you think? [Chris cries again.]
Mrs Fletcher: Oh, for God's sake, Morris - a nose ring! She said she wants a nose ring!
Chris: (to Mulder) I hate you! I wish you were dead.
Mulder (as Morris): Well, my work here is done. Have a nice day.
Chris: Mom!
Mrs Fletcher: Morris! What about Chris?
Mulder (as Morris): Chris?
Chris: You said you'd give me an answer today.
Mrs Fletcher: Her nose. You said you'd give her an answer about her nose.
[Family waits in anticipation. This is obviously a very important decision.]
Mulder (as Morris): Um... I think... [Chris gives him a little girl look.] I think she's a little young for plastic surgery don't you think? [Chris cries again.]
Mrs Fletcher: Oh, for God's sake, Morris - a nose ring! She said she wants a nose ring!
Chris: (to Mulder) I hate you! I wish you were dead.
Mulder (as Morris): Well, my work here is done. Have a nice day.
TV Show: The X-Files
Mulder (as Morris): [Looks into "his" closet, filled with black suits and white shirts.] Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Johnny Cash.
TV Show: The X-Files
[Mulder is again asleep on the recliner; Joanne wakes him.]
Joanne Fletcher: This is not a marriage. It's a farce.
Mulder (as Morris): What?
Joanne Fletcher: You're not attracted to me anymore. I disgust you, don't i?
Mulder (as Morris): No. No. It's not... It's not that you're disgusting. I-i-it's just that...
Joanne Fletcher: It's just that you don't want to ever make love to me ever again, that's all. That and you mumble something about Scully in your sleep. Who is Scully, Morris? Is it another woman?
Mulder (as Morris): Does Scully sound like a woman's name to you?
Joanne Fletcher: Who is Scully? Tell me.
Mulder (as Morris): Oh, Joanne, I'm sure I've told you many times in the past that there are things about my work that unfortunately, I have to keep a secret.
Joanne Fletcher: Oh, no, buster. That's not going to fly this time.
Mulder (as Morris): My point is that there are a lot of things you don't know about me. And... I've just... I've been under a lot of pressure lately. I mean, up is down and black is white. I don't know where I stand anymore. I don't even know... who I am really anymore. I just... I know for sure that I am not the man you married. I'm just not. And I'm sorry. I'm truly sorry.
Joanne Fletcher: Oh, god, Morris. I didn't know. They have that pill now. (understanding laughter) We can work this out. There's other ways to be intimate.
[Mulder looks horrified; she hugs him. The doorbell rings.]
Joanne Fletcher: This is not a marriage. It's a farce.
Mulder (as Morris): What?
Joanne Fletcher: You're not attracted to me anymore. I disgust you, don't i?
Mulder (as Morris): No. No. It's not... It's not that you're disgusting. I-i-it's just that...
Joanne Fletcher: It's just that you don't want to ever make love to me ever again, that's all. That and you mumble something about Scully in your sleep. Who is Scully, Morris? Is it another woman?
Mulder (as Morris): Does Scully sound like a woman's name to you?
Joanne Fletcher: Who is Scully? Tell me.
Mulder (as Morris): Oh, Joanne, I'm sure I've told you many times in the past that there are things about my work that unfortunately, I have to keep a secret.
Joanne Fletcher: Oh, no, buster. That's not going to fly this time.
Mulder (as Morris): My point is that there are a lot of things you don't know about me. And... I've just... I've been under a lot of pressure lately. I mean, up is down and black is white. I don't know where I stand anymore. I don't even know... who I am really anymore. I just... I know for sure that I am not the man you married. I'm just not. And I'm sorry. I'm truly sorry.
Joanne Fletcher: Oh, god, Morris. I didn't know. They have that pill now. (understanding laughter) We can work this out. There's other ways to be intimate.
[Mulder looks horrified; she hugs him. The doorbell rings.]
TV Show: The X-Files
Scully: I'm sorry. Uh, Morris Fletcher?
Mulder (as Morris): (quietly) Scully, it's me. It's Mulder. [Mulder closes the door and pulls Scully into the driveway.]
Scully: (nervous) You're, uh... You're the man from the other night? From Area 51?
Joanne Fletcher: (yelling from inside the house) Liar!
Scully: You phoned me. Would you mind telling me what this is about?
Mulder (as Morris): I'm Mulder. I'm really Mulder. I switched bodies, places, identities with this man Morris Fletcher the man that you think is Mulder, but he's not. (sees his reflection in the car window - of Morris) Of course you don't believe me. Why was I expecting anything different? Your full name is Dana Katherine Scully. Your badge number is... Hell! I don't know your badge number. Your mother's name is Margaret. Your brother's name is Bill Jr. He's in the Navy and he hates me. (no response from Scully) Lately, for lunch, you've been having this six-ounce cup of yogurt, plain yogurt, into which you stir bee pollen because you're on a bee pollen kick even though I tell you you're a scientist and you should know better.
Joanne Fletcher: (opens the door and dumps all of Morris' black suits onto the front steps) Cheater!
Scully: Look... Any of that information could have been gathered by anyone.
Mulder (as Morris): Even that yogurt thing? That is so you. That is so Scully. Well, it's good to know you haven't changed. That's somewhat comforting.
Mulder (as Morris): (quietly) Scully, it's me. It's Mulder. [Mulder closes the door and pulls Scully into the driveway.]
Scully: (nervous) You're, uh... You're the man from the other night? From Area 51?
Joanne Fletcher: (yelling from inside the house) Liar!
Scully: You phoned me. Would you mind telling me what this is about?
Mulder (as Morris): I'm Mulder. I'm really Mulder. I switched bodies, places, identities with this man Morris Fletcher the man that you think is Mulder, but he's not. (sees his reflection in the car window - of Morris) Of course you don't believe me. Why was I expecting anything different? Your full name is Dana Katherine Scully. Your badge number is... Hell! I don't know your badge number. Your mother's name is Margaret. Your brother's name is Bill Jr. He's in the Navy and he hates me. (no response from Scully) Lately, for lunch, you've been having this six-ounce cup of yogurt, plain yogurt, into which you stir bee pollen because you're on a bee pollen kick even though I tell you you're a scientist and you should know better.
Joanne Fletcher: (opens the door and dumps all of Morris' black suits onto the front steps) Cheater!
Scully: Look... Any of that information could have been gathered by anyone.
Mulder (as Morris): Even that yogurt thing? That is so you. That is so Scully. Well, it's good to know you haven't changed. That's somewhat comforting.
TV Show: The X-Files
Morris: (voiceover) Once upon a time, there was a guy with the improbable name of Fox Mulder. He started out life happily enough, as these things go. He had parents who loved him, a cute kid sister. He had a roof over his head, got all his flu shots, had all his fingers and toes and aside from being stuck with the name "Fox" which probably taught him how to fight - or not - he pretty much led a normal life. But the worst thing by far - the biggest kick in the slacks this kid Fox ever got - was what happened to his sister. One day, she just disappeared. Now, Fox buckled down and worked his butt off. Graduated top of his class at Oxford then top of his class at the FBI academy. None of that hard work made up for his sister, though. It was just a way of putting her out of his mind. Finally, the way I figure it, he went out of his mind and he's been that way ever since. Fox Mulder pissed away a brilliant career, lost the respect of supervisors and friends and now lives his life shaking his fist at the sky and muttering about conspiracies to anyone who will listen. If you ask me, he's one step away from pushing a baby carriage filled with tin cans down the street. But now, all that's going to change.
TV Show: The X-Files
[Morris (as Mulder) enters with groceries; looks around the apartment.]
Morris (as Mulder): Uh-huh. (sets the bags down and gets out some candles) A little mood lighting for the bedroom. (looks around; pauses) No bedroom.
[Goes over to a closed door; tries to open it several times with no result; finally gets it open. Several boxes and porno magazines fall out; the room is shown to be filled with boxes, old furniture and papers.]
Morris (as Mulder): This guy hasn't been laid in ten years.
Morris (as Mulder): Uh-huh. (sets the bags down and gets out some candles) A little mood lighting for the bedroom. (looks around; pauses) No bedroom.
[Goes over to a closed door; tries to open it several times with no result; finally gets it open. Several boxes and porno magazines fall out; the room is shown to be filled with boxes, old furniture and papers.]
Morris (as Mulder): This guy hasn't been laid in ten years.
TV Show: The X-Files
Mulder (as Morris): Joanne, listen to me. There's something I got to tell you.
Joanne Morris: I've heard enough from you for one lifetime, Morris. Go tell it to that tramp of yours, that Scully, whatshername.
Mulder (as Morris): Dana Scully. Special Agent Dana Scully.
Joanne Morris: Special Tramp Dana Scully.
Mulder (as Morris): She's my partner, Joanne.
Joanne Morris: I'm supposed to be your partner.
Mulder (as Morris): My name is not Morris Fletcher. It's Fox Mulder. Special Agent Fox Mulder with the FBI. Dana Scully is my FBI partner. I am not your husband we are not married, we are complete strangers and I have a whole other life that I'm desperately trying to get back to.
Joanne Morris: You know, Morris, most men, when they have a mid-life crisis - they go out and buy themselves a sports car. They don't run around calling themselves Fox.
Joanne Morris: I've heard enough from you for one lifetime, Morris. Go tell it to that tramp of yours, that Scully, whatshername.
Mulder (as Morris): Dana Scully. Special Agent Dana Scully.
Joanne Morris: Special Tramp Dana Scully.
Mulder (as Morris): She's my partner, Joanne.
Joanne Morris: I'm supposed to be your partner.
Mulder (as Morris): My name is not Morris Fletcher. It's Fox Mulder. Special Agent Fox Mulder with the FBI. Dana Scully is my FBI partner. I am not your husband we are not married, we are complete strangers and I have a whole other life that I'm desperately trying to get back to.
Joanne Morris: You know, Morris, most men, when they have a mid-life crisis - they go out and buy themselves a sports car. They don't run around calling themselves Fox.
TV Show: The X-Files
[Scully and Morris (as Mulder) pull up in their car next to Mulder (as Morris). Scully gets out to stand next to Mulder; Morris stays in the car.]
Mulder (as Morris): You don't look too happy. Don't tell me I'm going to have to put two kids through school.
Scully: (hesitantly) That is you in there, Mulder, isn't it? (Mulder nods; Scully folds her arms, hugging herself) I, uh... I just got off the phone with Frohike. They were able to download and analyze the crash data and, yes, there was an anomalous event that night.
Mulder (as Morris): And how do I get back?
Scully: (not easy for her to say) Well, that's just it. It's all about random moments in time... About a series of variables approaching an event horizon. And even if we... could recreate that moment if we could sabotage another craft... Mulder, if we were... If we were off... If the event were off by even one millisecond...
Mulder (as Morris): I might wind up with my head in a rock.
Scully: Something like that, yeah. (long pause)
Mulder (as Morris): (depressed) What about him? I mean, me. Whatever. Whoever he is.
Scully: Agent Mulder has become AD Kersh's new golden boy. He's been tasked with returning the flight data recorder that he and I stole. The son of a bitch confesses to Kersh even more than I do to my priest. I'm just tagging along for the ride.
Mulder (as Morris): What do you mean, "just tagging along?"
Scully: I'm out of the Bureau. I've been censured and relieved of my position.
Mulder (as Morris): No. You can explain it to them like you explained it to me. You have the data. You can make them understand. You can get your job back.
Scully: (can't help but smile; looks up at him fondly) I'd kiss you if you weren't so damn ugly. <
Mulder (as Morris): You don't look too happy. Don't tell me I'm going to have to put two kids through school.
Scully: (hesitantly) That is you in there, Mulder, isn't it? (Mulder nods; Scully folds her arms, hugging herself) I, uh... I just got off the phone with Frohike. They were able to download and analyze the crash data and, yes, there was an anomalous event that night.
Mulder (as Morris): And how do I get back?
Scully: (not easy for her to say) Well, that's just it. It's all about random moments in time... About a series of variables approaching an event horizon. And even if we... could recreate that moment if we could sabotage another craft... Mulder, if we were... If we were off... If the event were off by even one millisecond...
Mulder (as Morris): I might wind up with my head in a rock.
Scully: Something like that, yeah. (long pause)
Mulder (as Morris): (depressed) What about him? I mean, me. Whatever. Whoever he is.
Scully: Agent Mulder has become AD Kersh's new golden boy. He's been tasked with returning the flight data recorder that he and I stole. The son of a bitch confesses to Kersh even more than I do to my priest. I'm just tagging along for the ride.
Mulder (as Morris): What do you mean, "just tagging along?"
Scully: I'm out of the Bureau. I've been censured and relieved of my position.
Mulder (as Morris): No. You can explain it to them like you explained it to me. You have the data. You can make them understand. You can get your job back.
Scully: (can't help but smile; looks up at him fondly) I'd kiss you if you weren't so damn ugly. <
TV Show: The X-Files
Mulder: (on phone) Mulder.
Scully: (on phone; in her office) Mulder, it's me. I just wanted to let you know that we slipped under Kersh's radar. Our little field trip to Nevada went unnoticed.
Mulder: Oh, yeah?
Scully: Mulder, I'm sorry that your confidential source didn't pan out.
Mulder: Well, I guess you were right, Scully. Just another crackpot who watches too much Star Trek.
Scully: Good night.
Mulder: Hey, Scully? I, uh, know it's not your normal life, but... Thanks for coming out there with me.
Scully: (surprised, pleased) You're welcome.
Scully: (on phone; in her office) Mulder, it's me. I just wanted to let you know that we slipped under Kersh's radar. Our little field trip to Nevada went unnoticed.
Mulder: Oh, yeah?
Scully: Mulder, I'm sorry that your confidential source didn't pan out.
Mulder: Well, I guess you were right, Scully. Just another crackpot who watches too much Star Trek.
Scully: Good night.
Mulder: Hey, Scully? I, uh, know it's not your normal life, but... Thanks for coming out there with me.
Scully: (surprised, pleased) You're welcome.
TV Show: The X-Files
Scully: Check out lines were worse than rush hour on the 95. If I heard "Silent Night" one more time, I was going to start taking hostages.
TV Show: The X-Files
Scully: Let's hear it. Give me the details.
Mulder: Look, if you've got Christmas stuff to do I don't want to... you know...
Scully: Mulder, I drove all the way out here. I might as well know why. Right?
Mulder: I just thought you'd be more... curious.
Scully: Who lives in the house?
Mulder: No one.
Scully: Then who are we staking out?
Mulder: The former occupants.
Scully: They've come back?
Mulder: That's the story.
Scully: I see. (dryly) The dark, gothic manor... the, uh, omnipresent low fog hugging the thicket of overgrowth... Wait- is that a hound I hear baying out on the moors?
Mulder: No. Actually that was a left cheek sneak.
Mulder: Look, if you've got Christmas stuff to do I don't want to... you know...
Scully: Mulder, I drove all the way out here. I might as well know why. Right?
Mulder: I just thought you'd be more... curious.
Scully: Who lives in the house?
Mulder: No one.
Scully: Then who are we staking out?
Mulder: The former occupants.
Scully: They've come back?
Mulder: That's the story.
Scully: I see. (dryly) The dark, gothic manor... the, uh, omnipresent low fog hugging the thicket of overgrowth... Wait- is that a hound I hear baying out on the moors?
Mulder: No. Actually that was a left cheek sneak.
TV Show: The X-Files
Mulder: (mysteriously) Christmas, 1917. It was a time of dark, dark despair. American soldiers were dying at an ungodly rate in a war-torn Europe while at home, a deadly strain of the flu virus attacked young and old alike. Tragedy was a visitor on every doorstep while a creeping hopelessness set in with every man, woman and child. It was a time of dark, dark despair.
Scully: (unimpressed) You said that.
Mulder: But here at 1501 Larkspur Lane for a pair of star-crossed lovers tragedy came not from war or pestilence - not by the boot heel or the bombardier - but by their own innocent hand.
Scully: Go on.
Mulder: His name was Maurice. He was a... a brooding but heroic young man beloved of Lyda, a sublime beauty with a light that seemed to follow her wherever she went. They were likened to two angels descended from heaven whom the gods could not protect from the horrors being visited upon this cold, grey earth.
Scully: And what happened to them?
Mulder: Driven by a tragic fear of separation they forged a lovers' pact so that they might spend eternity together and not spend one precious Christmas apart.
Scully: They killed themselves?
Mulder: And their ghosts haunt this house every Christmas Eve. (Scully laughs) I just gave myself chills.
Scully: It's a good story, Mulder, and very well told, but I don't believe it.
Scully: (unimpressed) You said that.
Mulder: But here at 1501 Larkspur Lane for a pair of star-crossed lovers tragedy came not from war or pestilence - not by the boot heel or the bombardier - but by their own innocent hand.
Scully: Go on.
Mulder: His name was Maurice. He was a... a brooding but heroic young man beloved of Lyda, a sublime beauty with a light that seemed to follow her wherever she went. They were likened to two angels descended from heaven whom the gods could not protect from the horrors being visited upon this cold, grey earth.
Scully: And what happened to them?
Mulder: Driven by a tragic fear of separation they forged a lovers' pact so that they might spend eternity together and not spend one precious Christmas apart.
Scully: They killed themselves?
Mulder: And their ghosts haunt this house every Christmas Eve. (Scully laughs) I just gave myself chills.
Scully: It's a good story, Mulder, and very well told, but I don't believe it.
TV Show: The X-Files
[Mulder and Scully are searching a haunted house]
Scully: These are tricks that the mind plays. They are ingrained cliches from a thousand different horror films. When we hear a sound, we get a chill. We-we see a shadow and we allow ourselves to imagine something that an otherwise rational person would discount out of hand. The whole... the whole idea of a benevolent entity fits perfectly with what I'm saying. That a spirit would materialize or return for no other purpose than to show itself is silly and ridiculous. I mean, what it really shows is how silly and ridiculous we have become in believing such things. I mean, that... that we can ignore all natural laws about the corporeal body... that-that we witness these spirits clad in-in their own shabby outfits with the same old haircuts and hairstyles never aging, never... never in search of more comfortable surroundings-- it actually ends up saying more about the living than it does about the dead.
Mulder: Mm-hmm.
Scully: I mean, Mulder, it doesn't take an advanced degree in psychology to understand the... the unconscious yearnings that these imaginings satisfy. You know, the-the longing for immortality the hope that there is something beyond this mortal coil... that-that we might never be long without our loved ones. I mean, these are powerful, powerful desires. I mean, they're the very essence of what make us human. The very essence of Christmas, actually.
[A door slightly opens by itself]
Mulder: Tell me you're not afraid.
Scully: All right. I'm afraid... but it's an irrational fear.
Scully: These are tricks that the mind plays. They are ingrained cliches from a thousand different horror films. When we hear a sound, we get a chill. We-we see a shadow and we allow ourselves to imagine something that an otherwise rational person would discount out of hand. The whole... the whole idea of a benevolent entity fits perfectly with what I'm saying. That a spirit would materialize or return for no other purpose than to show itself is silly and ridiculous. I mean, what it really shows is how silly and ridiculous we have become in believing such things. I mean, that... that we can ignore all natural laws about the corporeal body... that-that we witness these spirits clad in-in their own shabby outfits with the same old haircuts and hairstyles never aging, never... never in search of more comfortable surroundings-- it actually ends up saying more about the living than it does about the dead.
Mulder: Mm-hmm.
Scully: I mean, Mulder, it doesn't take an advanced degree in psychology to understand the... the unconscious yearnings that these imaginings satisfy. You know, the-the longing for immortality the hope that there is something beyond this mortal coil... that-that we might never be long without our loved ones. I mean, these are powerful, powerful desires. I mean, they're the very essence of what make us human. The very essence of Christmas, actually.
[A door slightly opens by itself]
Mulder: Tell me you're not afraid.
Scully: All right. I'm afraid... but it's an irrational fear.
TV Show: The X-Files
[Mulder and Scully have just found a corpse.]
Scully: You know what's weird?
Mulder: What?
Scully: Mulder, she's wearing my outfit.
Mulder: How embarrassing.
Scully: You know what's weird?
Mulder: What?
Scully: Mulder, she's wearing my outfit.
Mulder: How embarrassing.
TV Show: The X-Files
Maurice: You drink? Take drugs?
Mulder: No.
Maurice: Get high?
Mulder: No.
Maurice: Are you overcome by the impulse to make everyone believe you? (Mulder looks surprised) I'm in the field of mental health. I specialize in disorders and manias related to pathological behavior as it pertains to the paranormal.
Mulder: Wow. I didn't know such a thing existed.
Maurice: My specialty is in what I call soul prospectors - a crossaxial classification I've codified by extensive interaction with visitors like yourself. I've found you all tend to fall into pretty much the same category.
Mulder: And what category is that?
Maurice: Narcissistic, overzealous, self-righteous egomaniac.
Mulder: That's a category?
Maurice: You kindly think of yourself as single-minded but you're prone to obsessive compulsiveness, workaholism, antisocialism... Fertile fields for the descent into total wacko breakdown.
Mulder: I don't think that pegs me exactly.
Maurice: Oh, really? Waving a gun around my house? Huh? Raving like a lunatic about some imaginary brick wall? (Mulder looks over at the brick wall in the doorway) You've probably convinced yourself you've seen aliens. You know why you think you see the things you do?
Mulder: (like it's obvious) Because I have seen them?
Maurice: 'Cause you're a lonely man. A lonely man chasing paramasturbatory illusions that you believe will give your life meaning and significance and which your pathetic social maladjustment makes impossible for you to find elsewhere. You probably consider yourself passionate, serious, misunderstood. Am I right?
Mulder: "Paramasturbatory"?
Maurice: Most people would rather stick their fingers in a
Mulder: No.
Maurice: Get high?
Mulder: No.
Maurice: Are you overcome by the impulse to make everyone believe you? (Mulder looks surprised) I'm in the field of mental health. I specialize in disorders and manias related to pathological behavior as it pertains to the paranormal.
Mulder: Wow. I didn't know such a thing existed.
Maurice: My specialty is in what I call soul prospectors - a crossaxial classification I've codified by extensive interaction with visitors like yourself. I've found you all tend to fall into pretty much the same category.
Mulder: And what category is that?
Maurice: Narcissistic, overzealous, self-righteous egomaniac.
Mulder: That's a category?
Maurice: You kindly think of yourself as single-minded but you're prone to obsessive compulsiveness, workaholism, antisocialism... Fertile fields for the descent into total wacko breakdown.
Mulder: I don't think that pegs me exactly.
Maurice: Oh, really? Waving a gun around my house? Huh? Raving like a lunatic about some imaginary brick wall? (Mulder looks over at the brick wall in the doorway) You've probably convinced yourself you've seen aliens. You know why you think you see the things you do?
Mulder: (like it's obvious) Because I have seen them?
Maurice: 'Cause you're a lonely man. A lonely man chasing paramasturbatory illusions that you believe will give your life meaning and significance and which your pathetic social maladjustment makes impossible for you to find elsewhere. You probably consider yourself passionate, serious, misunderstood. Am I right?
Mulder: "Paramasturbatory"?
Maurice: Most people would rather stick their fingers in a
TV Show: The X-Files
Lyda: I think maybe the ghosts have been playing tricks on you.
Scully: I don't believe in ghosts.
Lyda: Then what are you doing here?
Scully: It's my partner.
Lyda: He believes in ghosts?
Scully: Yeah.
Lyda: Oh, you poor child. You must have an awful small life. Spending your Christmas Eve with him... Running around chasing things you don't even believe in.
Scully: Don't come any closer.
Lyda: (coming closer) I can see it in your face... The fear... The conflicted yearnings... A subconscious desire to find fulfillment through another. Intimacy through co-dependency.
Scully: What?
Lyda: Maybe you repress the truth about why you're really here pretending it's out of duty or loyalty-- unable to admit your dirty little secret. Your only joy in life is proving him wrong.
Scully: You don't know me.
Scully: I don't believe in ghosts.
Lyda: Then what are you doing here?
Scully: It's my partner.
Lyda: He believes in ghosts?
Scully: Yeah.
Lyda: Oh, you poor child. You must have an awful small life. Spending your Christmas Eve with him... Running around chasing things you don't even believe in.
Scully: Don't come any closer.
Lyda: (coming closer) I can see it in your face... The fear... The conflicted yearnings... A subconscious desire to find fulfillment through another. Intimacy through co-dependency.
Scully: What?
Lyda: Maybe you repress the truth about why you're really here pretending it's out of duty or loyalty-- unable to admit your dirty little secret. Your only joy in life is proving him wrong.
Scully: You don't know me.
TV Show: The X-Files
Lyda: I hope you're not expecting any great advantages to all this.
Mulder: To all what?
Lyda: I'm assuming you came here with similar misconceptions.
Mulder: We came here looking for you.
Lyda: Oh, yeah? You didn't come here to be together for eternity?
Mulder: (chuckling) No.
Lyda: Because you're filled with despair and woeful Christmas melancholy?
Mulder: Why?
Lyda: (sighing) Maybe it was your partner then.
Mulder: (folding his arms) What about her?
Lyda: You knew this house was haunted.
Mulder: Yeah.
Lyda: Maybe you two should have discussed your real feelings before you came out here. I'm speaking from experience.
Mulder: To all what?
Lyda: I'm assuming you came here with similar misconceptions.
Mulder: We came here looking for you.
Lyda: Oh, yeah? You didn't come here to be together for eternity?
Mulder: (chuckling) No.
Lyda: Because you're filled with despair and woeful Christmas melancholy?
Mulder: Why?
Lyda: (sighing) Maybe it was your partner then.
Mulder: (folding his arms) What about her?
Lyda: You knew this house was haunted.
Mulder: Yeah.
Lyda: Maybe you two should have discussed your real feelings before you came out here. I'm speaking from experience.
TV Show: The X-Files
Lyda: I don't show my hole to just anyone.
Mulder: (grimaces, looks away) Why are you showing it to me?
Mulder: (grimaces, looks away) Why are you showing it to me?
TV Show: The X-Files