This Is the End Quotes
Danny McBride: Hermione just stole all of our shit. And then Jay suggested that we all rape her and now she's gone. I think the only reason why he did that is because Jay knows he's about fucking two minutes away from becoming the house bitch himself.
Movie: This Is the End
James Franco: Your mama's pussy was the canvas. Your dad's dick was the paintbrush. Boom. You're the art.
Jay Baruchel: Thanks, James Franco.
Jay Baruchel: Thanks, James Franco.
Movie: This Is the End
Jay Baruchel: Guys, listen listen. I think we need to address the elephant in the room
Seth Rogen: Whoa, Jay, don't talk about Craig like that.
Craig Robinson: That's fucked up. I'm right here man.
Jay Baruchel: I'm not calling Craig an elephant.
James Franco: That's racist.
Seth Rogen: Whoa, Jay, don't talk about Craig like that.
Craig Robinson: That's fucked up. I'm right here man.
Jay Baruchel: I'm not calling Craig an elephant.
James Franco: That's racist.
Movie: This Is the End
Danny McBride: James Franco didn't suck any dick last night? Now I know ya'll are trippin'.
Movie: This Is the End
Jay Baruchel: I say unto the... the power of Christ compels you!
Possessed Jonah Hill: Oh, does it? Does it compel me?
Jay Baruchel: The power of Christ compels you!
Possessed Jonah Hill: Does it, Jay?
Jay Baruchel: The power of Christ compels you!
Possessed Jonah Hill: Is the power of Christ compelling me? Is that what's happening?
Jay Baruchel: The power of Christ compels you!
Possessed Jonah Hill: Guess what? It's not that compelling.
Possessed Jonah Hill: Oh, does it? Does it compel me?
Jay Baruchel: The power of Christ compels you!
Possessed Jonah Hill: Does it, Jay?
Jay Baruchel: The power of Christ compels you!
Possessed Jonah Hill: Is the power of Christ compelling me? Is that what's happening?
Jay Baruchel: The power of Christ compels you!
Possessed Jonah Hill: Guess what? It's not that compelling.
Movie: This Is the End
Danny McBride: You got white shit all over your mouth, Franco. You probably sucked somebody's dick. Jonah over here probably watched and jerked off.
Movie: This Is the End
Danny McBride: What the fuck is wrong with you, Franco? You have iPad's all over the goddamn walls in your house, but you jack off like a fuckin' pilgrim!
James Franco: That's right man, I like to read!
James Franco: That's right man, I like to read!
Movie: This Is the End
[Taking inventory of the food and supplies at James Franco's house] Seth Rogen: We got 12 bottles of water, 56 beers, two vodkas, four whiskeys, six bottles of wine, tequila, Nutella, cheese, pizza, eggs, bananas, apples, bacon, steaks, pancake mix, C.T. Crunch, milk, ketchup, a Milky Way, half-ounce Sour Diesel, 3 1/2 grams Grand Master Kush, one ounce of 'shrooms, 15 pills of ecstasy, a porno mag, a baseball bat, and the video camera from the movie 27 Hours.
James Franco: [correcting Seth]'127 Hours'.
Seth Rogen: Uh, 127 Hours. And a functioning revolver from the movie 'Flyboys'.
James Franco: [correcting Seth]'127 Hours'.
Seth Rogen: Uh, 127 Hours. And a functioning revolver from the movie 'Flyboys'.
Movie: This Is the End
James Franco: I will shoot off your dick!
Danny McBride: You don't have enough bullets, bitch.
Danny McBride: You don't have enough bullets, bitch.
Movie: This Is the End
Jay Baruchel: Can we please go to fucking Carl's Jr.?
Seth Rogen: Uh, I would love to, but I'm on a... I can't really eat that stuff right now. I'm on a... I'm on this cleanse.
Jay Baruchel: You're on a what?
Seth Rogen: I'm on a cleanse.
Jay Baruchel: [laughs]What?
Seth Rogen: It's good for you. You're supposed to take six shits a day.
Jay Baruchel: That's not true, you're supposed to shit twice a day.
Seth Rogen: No. That's not true. That's what they used to think, now they know you're supposed to shit six times a day.
Jay Baruchel: So you're not drinking, you're not smoking weed?
Seth Rogen: Oh, no. I'm drinking, I'm smoking weed. I'm on a cleanse, I'm not psychotic.
Seth Rogen: Uh, I would love to, but I'm on a... I can't really eat that stuff right now. I'm on a... I'm on this cleanse.
Jay Baruchel: You're on a what?
Seth Rogen: I'm on a cleanse.
Jay Baruchel: [laughs]What?
Seth Rogen: It's good for you. You're supposed to take six shits a day.
Jay Baruchel: That's not true, you're supposed to shit twice a day.
Seth Rogen: No. That's not true. That's what they used to think, now they know you're supposed to shit six times a day.
Jay Baruchel: So you're not drinking, you're not smoking weed?
Seth Rogen: Oh, no. I'm drinking, I'm smoking weed. I'm on a cleanse, I'm not psychotic.
Movie: This Is the End
Danny McBride: [Rapture light appears]What the fuck?
James Franco: Go to hell, McBride! Fuck you! Haha. Suck my dick! [Rapture light disappears]
James Franco: Go to hell, McBride! Fuck you! Haha. Suck my dick! [Rapture light disappears]
Movie: This Is the End
Jonah Hill: A huge earthquake happens, who do they rescue first? Actors. They'll rescue Clooney, Sandra Bullock, me. If there's room, you guys will come.
Movie: This Is the End
Danny McBride: [from trailer]Seth, that's some of the better acting than I've seen in your last six movies. Where the fuck was that in Green Hornet?
Movie: This Is the End
James Franco: I got to admit something... I fucked Lindsay Lohan. She was fucked up, she was high. It was at the Chateau Marmont. She kept banging on my door. She kept calling me Jake Gyllenhaal. I said... call me the prince of Persia.
Movie: This Is the End
[an armored RV crashes into James Franco's Toyota Prius, slightly injuring Franco, Seth Rogen, and Jay Baruchel. A bunch of cannibals from the RV pulls all three of them out from the totaled car and starts to attack them] Santa Cannibal: [yells]Yo, cut his fuckin' head off! [chainsaw revs up; James, Seth, and Jay screams]
Danny McBride: [on loudspeaker]STOP! [Danny McBride, leader of the cannibals, steps out of his RV with a marijuana joint in one hand and a dog's leash in the other]
Jay Baruchel: Danny?
Danny McBride: [shocked]What the fuck? You guys are still alive?
Seth Rogen: Yeah!
Danny McBride: Holy shit, I didn't expect that. [tugging on the leash, a gimp, who reveals to be Channing Tatum, jumps out from the RV]
Danny McBride: Get... [Danny pulls Channing over to him]
Jay Baruchel: Oh, Jesus.
Danny McBride: Shit, I can't believe you guys are here. That's fucking crazy, and your timing couldn't be more perfect. It's been a long time since any of us have eaten, and you three gentlemen look delicious.
Jay Baruchel: [confused]What does that have to do with us?
James Franco: What the fuck are you talking about?
Danny McBride: [chuckles]I'm a cannibal, hombre. We're gonna fuckin' eat your ass.
Seth Rogen: Fuck you, you can't eat us. Fuck that, man!
Danny McBride: I do whatever the fuck I want, whenever I want. I butt-fucked this dude. [Channing drops down doggy-style]
Danny McBride: See that? I fuckin' slide right in that shit. I do whatever I want. This is my gimp. Channing, introduce yourself.
Channing Tatum: [takes his mask off]Hey, what's up, guys? Y'all cool?
James Franco: That's Channing Tatum.
Seth Rogen: That's Channing Tatum, dude. What the fuck?
Danny McBri
Danny McBride: [on loudspeaker]STOP! [Danny McBride, leader of the cannibals, steps out of his RV with a marijuana joint in one hand and a dog's leash in the other]
Jay Baruchel: Danny?
Danny McBride: [shocked]What the fuck? You guys are still alive?
Seth Rogen: Yeah!
Danny McBride: Holy shit, I didn't expect that. [tugging on the leash, a gimp, who reveals to be Channing Tatum, jumps out from the RV]
Danny McBride: Get... [Danny pulls Channing over to him]
Jay Baruchel: Oh, Jesus.
Danny McBride: Shit, I can't believe you guys are here. That's fucking crazy, and your timing couldn't be more perfect. It's been a long time since any of us have eaten, and you three gentlemen look delicious.
Jay Baruchel: [confused]What does that have to do with us?
James Franco: What the fuck are you talking about?
Danny McBride: [chuckles]I'm a cannibal, hombre. We're gonna fuckin' eat your ass.
Seth Rogen: Fuck you, you can't eat us. Fuck that, man!
Danny McBride: I do whatever the fuck I want, whenever I want. I butt-fucked this dude. [Channing drops down doggy-style]
Danny McBride: See that? I fuckin' slide right in that shit. I do whatever I want. This is my gimp. Channing, introduce yourself.
Channing Tatum: [takes his mask off]Hey, what's up, guys? Y'all cool?
James Franco: That's Channing Tatum.
Seth Rogen: That's Channing Tatum, dude. What the fuck?
Danny McBri
Movie: This Is the End
James Franco: We're actors! We bring joy to people's lives!
Jay Baruchel: Yeah but we don't do it for free. We get paid handsomely much higher than the average professional.
Jay Baruchel: Yeah but we don't do it for free. We get paid handsomely much higher than the average professional.
Movie: This Is the End
Seth Rogen: Just answer me one question: Is Michael Cera's butthole as adorable as I pictured?
Jay Baruchel: Oh for fucks sake...
Seth Rogen: I picture it looking like a little donut. A little pink sprinkled donut.
Jay Baruchel: Oh for fucks sake...
Seth Rogen: I picture it looking like a little donut. A little pink sprinkled donut.
Movie: This Is the End
[Rogen and McBride are digging through the floor of Franco's house when Franco storms through the second floor hallway, carrying his prop gun and a porno magazine] James Franco: Who did this? Who did this?
Seth Rogen: Did what? What are you talking about?
James Franco: Jizzed all over the pages of this nice magazine I was nice enough to tell you about. Was it you, Seth?
Danny McBride: [Raises hand]It was me, Franco. I fuckin' made jizz in your magazine.
James Franco: Why?
Danny McBride: When I fuckin' jack off long enough, I end up jizzin', dude. I'm assuming, the same shit works for you?
James Franco: Real fuckin' smart answer! Why don't you fuckin' aim, huh?
Danny McBride: I have a particularly explosive ejaculate. It just goes everywhere. It's like a fuckin' wild fireman's hose - you just got to grab on and pray to God it doesn't get into your eyes or your mouth.
James Franco: What the fuck kind of jerking off is that? What, you never had any brothers? You never learned to jizz in a fuckin' sock or on a fuckin' tissue?
Danny McBride: No, I don't have any brothers, I was raised in a house of women!
James Franco: I highly doubt they fuckin' taught you to fuckin' close your eyes and fuckin' cum wherever the fuck you want!
Danny McBride: I mean, you're getting all worked up over a fuckin' porno mag! Who has goddamn porno mags anymore? Welcome to the twenty-first century, Buck Rogers! You designed a house with fuckin' iPads in the walls, yet, you're jerkin' your dick like a goddamn pilgrim!
James Franco: That's right, man. I like to fuckin' read!
Danny McBride: You think that's the only thing I jerk off on in here? I've been dropping off loads around this fuckin' house like a goddamn dump truck.
James Franco: You don't cum on
Seth Rogen: Did what? What are you talking about?
James Franco: Jizzed all over the pages of this nice magazine I was nice enough to tell you about. Was it you, Seth?
Danny McBride: [Raises hand]It was me, Franco. I fuckin' made jizz in your magazine.
James Franco: Why?
Danny McBride: When I fuckin' jack off long enough, I end up jizzin', dude. I'm assuming, the same shit works for you?
James Franco: Real fuckin' smart answer! Why don't you fuckin' aim, huh?
Danny McBride: I have a particularly explosive ejaculate. It just goes everywhere. It's like a fuckin' wild fireman's hose - you just got to grab on and pray to God it doesn't get into your eyes or your mouth.
James Franco: What the fuck kind of jerking off is that? What, you never had any brothers? You never learned to jizz in a fuckin' sock or on a fuckin' tissue?
Danny McBride: No, I don't have any brothers, I was raised in a house of women!
James Franco: I highly doubt they fuckin' taught you to fuckin' close your eyes and fuckin' cum wherever the fuck you want!
Danny McBride: I mean, you're getting all worked up over a fuckin' porno mag! Who has goddamn porno mags anymore? Welcome to the twenty-first century, Buck Rogers! You designed a house with fuckin' iPads in the walls, yet, you're jerkin' your dick like a goddamn pilgrim!
James Franco: That's right, man. I like to fuckin' read!
Danny McBride: You think that's the only thing I jerk off on in here? I've been dropping off loads around this fuckin' house like a goddamn dump truck.
James Franco: You don't cum on
Movie: This Is the End
Emma Watson: Give me everything you have to drink!
Seth Rogen: There are six of us! You cannot rob us!
Emma Watson: I'm NOT fucking around!
Seth Rogen: There are six of us! You cannot rob us!
Emma Watson: I'm NOT fucking around!
Movie: This Is the End
Jay Baruchel: We could build a life here together, Craig. I'd be really good to you.
Movie: This Is the End
Michael Cera: Hey, does this coke smell funny? [blows cocaine into Christopher's face]
Christopher Mintz-Plasse: Oh, fuck, Michael. I've never done cocaine.
Michael Cera: Well, you did the best shit possible for your first time.
Christopher Mintz-Plasse: Oh, fuck, Michael. I've never done cocaine.
Michael Cera: Well, you did the best shit possible for your first time.
Movie: This Is the End
Jonah Hill: So what have you guys been doing?
Seth Rogen: Oh we just hung out all day.
Jay Baruchel: Ate a bunch of dirty burgers, smoked about a fucking pound of weed, and played a bunch of video games.
Jonah Hill: Weed is tight, weed is tight. That's awesome.
Jay Baruchel: It's like the golfing sequence in Navy Seals.
Jonah Hill: Sick reference though bro.
Jay Baruchel: Oh thanks bud.
Jonah Hill: Dude, your references are out of control, everyone knows that.
Seth Rogen: Oh we just hung out all day.
Jay Baruchel: Ate a bunch of dirty burgers, smoked about a fucking pound of weed, and played a bunch of video games.
Jonah Hill: Weed is tight, weed is tight. That's awesome.
Jay Baruchel: It's like the golfing sequence in Navy Seals.
Jonah Hill: Sick reference though bro.
Jay Baruchel: Oh thanks bud.
Jonah Hill: Dude, your references are out of control, everyone knows that.
Movie: This Is the End
Jonah Hill: Um, can I have that Milky Way?
James Franco: No, you can't have the Milky Way. That's my Milky Way. I went out this morning and specifically bought this Milky Way to eat after my party.
Jay Baruchel: That's weird.
James Franco: It's not weird, it's my special food, I like it. Back me up on that, Seth.
Seth Rogen: I don't think you should get the whole Milky Way. I want some of the Milky Way.
Craig Robinson: I'd be pretty bummed if I don't at least get a bite of the Milky Way.
James Franco: Oh, now Craig wants a bite of the Milky Way.
Craig Robinson: Yeah, I want a bite of the Milky Way! It's a fucking Milky Way.
Jay Baruchel: A fifth of everything is what's fair and reasonable.
Seth Rogen: Everyone gets a fifth of everything.
James Franco: [to Craig]I want one fifth of your t-shirt!
James Franco: No, you can't have the Milky Way. That's my Milky Way. I went out this morning and specifically bought this Milky Way to eat after my party.
Jay Baruchel: That's weird.
James Franco: It's not weird, it's my special food, I like it. Back me up on that, Seth.
Seth Rogen: I don't think you should get the whole Milky Way. I want some of the Milky Way.
Craig Robinson: I'd be pretty bummed if I don't at least get a bite of the Milky Way.
James Franco: Oh, now Craig wants a bite of the Milky Way.
Craig Robinson: Yeah, I want a bite of the Milky Way! It's a fucking Milky Way.
Jay Baruchel: A fifth of everything is what's fair and reasonable.
Seth Rogen: Everyone gets a fifth of everything.
James Franco: [to Craig]I want one fifth of your t-shirt!
Movie: This Is the End
Channing Tatum: I love him.
Danny McBride: Fuckin' GI Joe, dude. Fuckin' loves me.
Danny McBride: Fuckin' GI Joe, dude. Fuckin' loves me.
Movie: This Is the End