This Is Where I Leave You Quotes
Judd Altman: It's hard to see people from your past when your present is so cataclysmically screwed up.
Movie: This Is Where I Leave You
Judd Altman: Three months ago I had a great job and a nice apartment and I was in love with my wife.
Wendy Altman: No, you weren't.
Judd Altman: No?
Wendy Altman: No. She was sleeping with somebody else for a year and you never noticed... How in love could you have been?
Judd Altman: Yep... That's fair.
Wendy Altman: No, you weren't.
Judd Altman: No?
Wendy Altman: No. She was sleeping with somebody else for a year and you never noticed... How in love could you have been?
Judd Altman: Yep... That's fair.
Movie: This Is Where I Leave You
Phillip Altman: Sometimes I think you're too good for me.
Tracy Sullivan: Don't be silly, I'm definitely too good for you.
Tracy Sullivan: Don't be silly, I'm definitely too good for you.
Movie: This Is Where I Leave You
Paul Altman: Dad always had a soft spot for him.
Judd Altman: I think he liked us because we're a lot like him; he liked Phillip because he's nothing like him.
Judd Altman: I think he liked us because we're a lot like him; he liked Phillip because he's nothing like him.
Movie: This Is Where I Leave You
Hillary Altman: You can't leave this house; we're sitting shiva.
Wendy Altman: Mom, you're sitting in the exact same spot we put our Christmas tree.
Wendy Altman: Mom, you're sitting in the exact same spot we put our Christmas tree.
Movie: This Is Where I Leave You
Wendy Altman: Don't worry about Chelsea. Philip's skanky ex-girlfriends are a dime a dozen.
Tracy Sullivan: Do they all have to look like Victoria's Secret models?
Wendy Altman: She's not that hot.
Tracy Sullivan: Oh, come on! I would do her.
Wendy Altman: Yeah. I wouldn't say that in front of my brother.
Tracy Sullivan: Do they all have to look like Victoria's Secret models?
Wendy Altman: She's not that hot.
Tracy Sullivan: Oh, come on! I would do her.
Wendy Altman: Yeah. I wouldn't say that in front of my brother.
Movie: This Is Where I Leave You
Linda Callen: It would be a terrible mistake to go through life thinking that people are the sum total of what you see.
Movie: This Is Where I Leave You
Penny Moore: You used to laugh at my jokes.
Judd Altman: No, I didn't.
Penny Moore: Yes, you did.
Judd Altman: Yes, I did, but your jokes used to be funnier.
Judd Altman: No, I didn't.
Penny Moore: Yes, you did.
Judd Altman: Yes, I did, but your jokes used to be funnier.
Movie: This Is Where I Leave You
Phillip Altman: Dad was a stoner?
Judd Altman: No, it was probably medicinal.
Phillip Altman: It always is.
Judd Altman: No, it was probably medicinal.
Phillip Altman: It always is.
Movie: This Is Where I Leave You
Horry Callen: Brain injury. There are things I can't do.
Judd Altman: Like what?
Horry Callen: Like remember what the hell it is I can't do.
Judd Altman: Like what?
Horry Callen: Like remember what the hell it is I can't do.
Movie: This Is Where I Leave You
Judd Altman: I'm gonna have to forgive her for the sake of that kid, aren't I?
Phillip Altman: Well, I'm no expert... but I think you're gonna have to make much larger sacrifices down the road.
Phillip Altman: Well, I'm no expert... but I think you're gonna have to make much larger sacrifices down the road.
Movie: This Is Where I Leave You
Phillip Altman: Sorry I'm late
Judd Altman: You're a dick.
Phillip Altman: Yeah, tell me something I don't know.
Judd Altman: Your shirt is on inside out.
Phillip Altman: That, I did not know
Judd Altman: You're a dick.
Phillip Altman: Yeah, tell me something I don't know.
Judd Altman: Your shirt is on inside out.
Phillip Altman: That, I did not know
Movie: This Is Where I Leave You
Quinn Altman: Hi Phillip
Phillip Altman: Quinn. I always knew there was something of a cold hearted slut in you
Quinn Altman: It takes one to know one.
Phillip Altman: TouchÚ, Pussycat.
Phillip Altman: Quinn. I always knew there was something of a cold hearted slut in you
Quinn Altman: It takes one to know one.
Phillip Altman: TouchÚ, Pussycat.
Movie: This Is Where I Leave You
Wendy Altman: You need to put a baby in that woman, like yesterday.
Paul Altman: I'm working on it.
Wendy Altman: Have you had your man parts checked?
Paul Altman: Come on, not now Wendy.
Wendy Altman: You may have emptied them over the years... My room was next to yours... My room was next to yours.
Paul Altman: I'm working on it.
Wendy Altman: Have you had your man parts checked?
Paul Altman: Come on, not now Wendy.
Wendy Altman: You may have emptied them over the years... My room was next to yours... My room was next to yours.
Movie: This Is Where I Leave You
Judd Altman: What's the matter with you. Do you ever think before you speak?
Phillip Altman: No, that would take all the fun out of it.
Phillip Altman: No, that would take all the fun out of it.
Movie: This Is Where I Leave You
Judd Altman: I don't understand the Shiva. Mom's not even Jewish, and dad was an atheist.
Wendy Altman: A Jewish atheist, and this is what he wanted.
Wendy Altman: A Jewish atheist, and this is what he wanted.
Movie: This Is Where I Leave You
Wendy Altman: So, you are going to sleep with Penny, so you can forgive Quinn, and then get back on the road more traveled, and forget you ever got off.
Movie: This Is Where I Leave You
Judd Altman: You can't possibly know it' mine.
Quinn Altman: Trust me, it's yours.
Judd Altman: Well, strangely, trust is not the first impulse I have when it comes to you.
Quinn Altman: Trust me, it's yours.
Judd Altman: Well, strangely, trust is not the first impulse I have when it comes to you.
Movie: This Is Where I Leave You
Paul Altman: [On phone to Annie]Calm down... Calm down... CALM DOWN. I'm coming home, I'm coming home. [to everyone]
Paul Altman: I have to go have sex.
Judd Altman: Oh.
Wendy Altman: You know, in some cultures, people actually enjoy sex.
Paul Altman: Well, not when it's on a schedule.
Paul Altman: I have to go have sex.
Judd Altman: Oh.
Wendy Altman: You know, in some cultures, people actually enjoy sex.
Paul Altman: Well, not when it's on a schedule.
Movie: This Is Where I Leave You
Paul Altman: Dad would have hated this funeral. It's just one of the things I loved about him. He would have been counting the minuets, so that he could go down the hill, turn on the game, and he would have talked about how full of shit everyone was, and didn't really miss him. He would have been wrong. I do miss him.
Movie: This Is Where I Leave You
Wade Beaufort: Stop chasing tens. Bang a four. Bang a five. Look at the gratitude in their face. You be the best part of their year.
Movie: This Is Where I Leave You
Phillip Altman: Boner is a man of God now. I see Mom's new tits are present and accounted for
Movie: This Is Where I Leave You
Penny Moore: You coming in?
Judd Altman: Should I?
Penny Moore: I would.
Judd Altman: Should I?
Penny Moore: I would.
Movie: This Is Where I Leave You
Phillip Altman: I'm not selling you my shares. That's what I'm trying to tell you. I want to run the store with you.
Paul Altman: How exactly do you think you can add to the business?
Phillip Altman: I can help you grow it. New locations, and, and expanded lines. What?
Paul Altman: The only thing you've ever grown is weed.
Hillary Altman: And he was very good at it.
Paul Altman: How exactly do you think you can add to the business?
Phillip Altman: I can help you grow it. New locations, and, and expanded lines. What?
Paul Altman: The only thing you've ever grown is weed.
Hillary Altman: And he was very good at it.
Movie: This Is Where I Leave You
Paul Altman: Judd dated Annie for 6 months, I've been married to her for 6 years. At what point are you going to stop being an asshole about it.
Phillip Altman: I don't know, maybe at the point it stops bugging the shit out of you.
Phillip Altman: I don't know, maybe at the point it stops bugging the shit out of you.
Movie: This Is Where I Leave You
Judd Altman: We've come apart there Mom. Could you please close that robe, please. Cover it!
Hillary Altman: They are just breasts, Judd. The same ones you suckled at.
Judd Altman: No Mother, those are not the same breasts you nursed us with. Those are... those are... you've got bionic breasts now.
Hillary Altman: Your Father didn't see it that way. He used to like to put his penis...
Judd Altman: Jesus Christ, Mother. Thank you
Hillary Altman: They are just breasts, Judd. The same ones you suckled at.
Judd Altman: No Mother, those are not the same breasts you nursed us with. Those are... those are... you've got bionic breasts now.
Hillary Altman: Your Father didn't see it that way. He used to like to put his penis...
Judd Altman: Jesus Christ, Mother. Thank you
Movie: This Is Where I Leave You
Phillip Altman: Ah, well, we would be partners actually, after I bought Judd's shares.
Paul Altman: Buy? Little brother, you can't even buy a suit.
Paul Altman: Buy? Little brother, you can't even buy a suit.
Movie: This Is Where I Leave You
Judd Altman: It's not a good time, Wendy.
Wendy Altman: Dad's dead.
Judd Altman: [Taken aback]What?
Wendy Altman: [Crying]He died about an hour ago.
Judd Altman: They said he had more time.
Wendy Altman: Yeah, well apparently, he didn't.
Judd Altman: Shit. How's Mom?
Wendy Altman: She's Mom. You know, she asked me how much to tip the nurses. Listen, there's something else. Dad wants us to sit Shiva.
Judd Altman: Dad's dead.
Wendy Altman: Yeah, apparently that's the optimal time to do it.
Wendy Altman: Dad's dead.
Judd Altman: [Taken aback]What?
Wendy Altman: [Crying]He died about an hour ago.
Judd Altman: They said he had more time.
Wendy Altman: Yeah, well apparently, he didn't.
Judd Altman: Shit. How's Mom?
Wendy Altman: She's Mom. You know, she asked me how much to tip the nurses. Listen, there's something else. Dad wants us to sit Shiva.
Judd Altman: Dad's dead.
Wendy Altman: Yeah, apparently that's the optimal time to do it.
Movie: This Is Where I Leave You
Wade Beaufort: Now, I understand you are telling me that you think it's gay to groom your privates. Now, are you having one of your buddies help you run the razor? Is that what's making it gay?
Movie: This Is Where I Leave You