Time Bandits Quotes
Evil: Oh, Benson... Dear Benson, you are so mercifully free of the ravages of intelligence.
Benson: Oh, you say such nice things, Master.
Evil: Yes I know, I'm sorry!
Benson: Oh, you say such nice things, Master.
Evil: Yes I know, I'm sorry!
Movie: Time Bandits
Kevin: Yes, why does there have to be evil?
Supreme Being: I think it has something to do with free will.
Supreme Being: I think it has something to do with free will.
Movie: Time Bandits
Napoleon: Encore! Encore!
Theatre Manager: Thank you. Thank you very much. Uh, I wonder if you would like to see some of our... Other items. We have Zuzu and Benny! [Curtain rises]
Theatre Manager: Fun on a unicycle. [Napoleon looks displeased]
Theatre Manager: No? Uh, how about, uh, The Great Rambozo! He sing and lift heavy things. [Napoleon still looks displeased]
Theatre Manager: No? Uh, how about, uh... Ah, this I think you'll like. Very funny. The Three Idiots! From Latvia. Very funny act. They swallow brushes.
Theatre Manager: Thank you. Thank you very much. Uh, I wonder if you would like to see some of our... Other items. We have Zuzu and Benny! [Curtain rises]
Theatre Manager: Fun on a unicycle. [Napoleon looks displeased]
Theatre Manager: No? Uh, how about, uh, The Great Rambozo! He sing and lift heavy things. [Napoleon still looks displeased]
Theatre Manager: No? Uh, how about, uh... Ah, this I think you'll like. Very funny. The Three Idiots! From Latvia. Very funny act. They swallow brushes.
Movie: Time Bandits
Robin Hood: [Seeing the Bandits' haul] Crikey! I've been in robbing for years but I've never seen anything like this. Well, what can I say? Thank you. Thank you all very much indeed.
Randall: Oh don't men - What?
Randall: Oh don't men - What?
Movie: Time Bandits
[first lines]
Announcer: Yes, folks... Moderna Designs present the latest in kitchen luxury. The Moderna Wonder Major All Automatic Convenience Center-ette gives you all the time in the world to do the things you really want to do... An infrared freezer-oven complex that can make you a meal from packet to plate in 15 1/2 seconds.
Kevin's Mother: Morrisons have got one that can do that in eight seconds.
Kevin's Father: Oh?
Kevin's Mother: Block of ice to Beef Bourguignon in eight seconds. Lucky things.
Kevin: Dad, did you know that the ancient Greek warriors had to learn 44 different ways of unarmed combat?
Kevin's Father: [Ignoring Kevin] Well, at least we've got a two speed hedge cutter.
Announcer: Yes, folks... Moderna Designs present the latest in kitchen luxury. The Moderna Wonder Major All Automatic Convenience Center-ette gives you all the time in the world to do the things you really want to do... An infrared freezer-oven complex that can make you a meal from packet to plate in 15 1/2 seconds.
Kevin's Mother: Morrisons have got one that can do that in eight seconds.
Kevin's Father: Oh?
Kevin's Mother: Block of ice to Beef Bourguignon in eight seconds. Lucky things.
Kevin: Dad, did you know that the ancient Greek warriors had to learn 44 different ways of unarmed combat?
Kevin's Father: [Ignoring Kevin] Well, at least we've got a two speed hedge cutter.
Movie: Time Bandits
[from trailer] [one man has supposedly been reading the trailer script, while the director has been correcting him. Now the frustrated director interrupts again]
Trailer director: What about the plot?
Trailer reader: The what?
Trailer director: The plot. What the film is about.
Trailer reader: Well I haven't *seen* it, have I?
Trailer director: Haven't seen it? You're sitting there telling millions of people to go and see a film you haven't even *seen*?
Trailer reader: Well, I can't see every film I do, now can I?
Trailer director: Oh, wonderful! Terrific! Look, give me that!
Trailer reader: What're you doing?
Trailer director: Taking over! You're out! O-U-T! Finished! Caput! Finito!
Trailer reader: But what about the trailer?
Trailer director: *I'll* do it! [clears throat]
Trailer director: Time Bandits is an awfully good film. We have worked ever so hard on it. It's a tremendous adventure story. We like it, and we're pretty sure you will.
Trailer reader: [snickers]
Trailer director: What's wrong with it? It's direct. Pungent. Honest.
Trailer reader: *Honest?* [laughs]
Trailer reader: Honest shmonest! What's that got to do with anything? [the trailer ends]
Trailer director: What about the plot?
Trailer reader: The what?
Trailer director: The plot. What the film is about.
Trailer reader: Well I haven't *seen* it, have I?
Trailer director: Haven't seen it? You're sitting there telling millions of people to go and see a film you haven't even *seen*?
Trailer reader: Well, I can't see every film I do, now can I?
Trailer director: Oh, wonderful! Terrific! Look, give me that!
Trailer reader: What're you doing?
Trailer director: Taking over! You're out! O-U-T! Finished! Caput! Finito!
Trailer reader: But what about the trailer?
Trailer director: *I'll* do it! [clears throat]
Trailer director: Time Bandits is an awfully good film. We have worked ever so hard on it. It's a tremendous adventure story. We like it, and we're pretty sure you will.
Trailer reader: [snickers]
Trailer director: What's wrong with it? It's direct. Pungent. Honest.
Trailer reader: *Honest?* [laughs]
Trailer reader: Honest shmonest! What's that got to do with anything? [the trailer ends]
Movie: Time Bandits