Trailer Park Boys Quotes
Bubbles: [to Julian, while he's talking to Ricky on his cell phone] Should you be on the phone with him if he's masturbating?
TV Show: Trailer Park Boys
Julian: Ricky, I'm telling you, you gotta stop growing pot.
Ricky: Come on, man, you can't tell me to do that.
Julian: I'm serious Ricky.
Ricky: You can't tell me to do that. It's like telling the NWA to stop being black.
Ricky: Come on, man, you can't tell me to do that.
Julian: I'm serious Ricky.
Ricky: You can't tell me to do that. It's like telling the NWA to stop being black.
TV Show: Trailer Park Boys
Mr. Lahey: Let's cut to the chase Rick. There will be no jeopardization of the people in this park. Do you understand that?
Ricky: No.
Ricky: No.
TV Show: Trailer Park Boys
Ricky: Knock-knock, Lahey.
Mr. Lahey: Who's there, Ricky?
Ricky: A ****in' ****ty ****in' trailer park supervisor who hangs around with a big-gutted drunk elf who thinks he's gettin' us thrown back in jail but he can't 'cause he's got no evidence and he's dumb as ****, and he's got this other thing goin' on in his head that's tryin' to... twirly around and... ****in' get... different... ****!
Mr. Lahey: Who's there, Ricky?
Ricky: A ****in' ****ty ****in' trailer park supervisor who hangs around with a big-gutted drunk elf who thinks he's gettin' us thrown back in jail but he can't 'cause he's got no evidence and he's dumb as ****, and he's got this other thing goin' on in his head that's tryin' to... twirly around and... ****in' get... different... ****!
TV Show: Trailer Park Boys
[To Julian]
Ricky: I don't do as much coke as you do. We're not on the same wavelength.
Ricky: I don't do as much coke as you do. We're not on the same wavelength.
TV Show: Trailer Park Boys
[To Cory and Trevor]
Ricky: Knock knock, boys?
Cory: What?
Ricky: Knock knock.
Cory: Who's there?
Ricky: Two fucking dumb idiots that drive a big piece of shit from the trailer park that don't know when to come buy fucking dope. Now get the fuck out of here!
Ricky: Knock knock, boys?
Cory: What?
Ricky: Knock knock.
Cory: Who's there?
Ricky: Two fucking dumb idiots that drive a big piece of shit from the trailer park that don't know when to come buy fucking dope. Now get the fuck out of here!
TV Show: Trailer Park Boys
[To officers investigating the disturbance]
Patrick Lewis: Officers, these guys, they're trying to kill my dog.
Ricky: This man is drunk and he is soliciting us for prostitution.
Patrick Lewis: Officers, these guys, they're trying to kill my dog.
Ricky: This man is drunk and he is soliciting us for prostitution.
TV Show: Trailer Park Boys
[Off Camera voice]
Young kid: Hey, Reveen!
[To Julian]
Ricky: Do I fuckin' look like Reveen?
[To Young Kid]
Ricky: Come on down here, ya little bastard, I'll fuckin' 'Reveen' ya.
Young kid: Hey, Reveen!
[To Julian]
Ricky: Do I fuckin' look like Reveen?
[To Young Kid]
Ricky: Come on down here, ya little bastard, I'll fuckin' 'Reveen' ya.
TV Show: Trailer Park Boys
Ricky: Apparently people think I look like this man they call Reveen. I don't even know who the fuck Reveen is. Apparently he's this ventriloquist or psychic or some guy and I look like him. Which is kinda cool people think I look like a famous person. And that's kinda neat, I guess, but I don't like all these little fuckers running around calling me Reveen.
TV Show: Trailer Park Boys
Cory: Reveen...
[Trevor laughs]
Cory: I- I mean I call him Reveen too, but he calls me dick. So I'm justified.
Trevor: I'd rather be called a dick than Reveen.
[Trevor laughs]
Cory: I- I mean I call him Reveen too, but he calls me dick. So I'm justified.
Trevor: I'd rather be called a dick than Reveen.
TV Show: Trailer Park Boys
[Chastising Ricky into not fighting an Off Camera Heckler for calling him Reveen]
Julian: No, this is a problem at home that has nothing to do with me. You've got a lot of anger built up inside of you.
[Off Camera to Julian ]
Heckler: Hey Patrick Swayze!
Ricky: See how does that feel?
Julian: All right--
Ricky: How the fuck does that feel?
Julian: Yeah, that's a bad one. Don't worry about it--
Heckler: It's Patrick Swayze and Reveen!
Julian: Did they just call me Patrick Swayze?
Ricky: Yeah they did.
[Three second pause]
Heckler: It's fucking Patrick Swayze and Reveen!
Ricky: You little fuckers.
Heckler: Hey, 'Dirty Dancing'!
Julian: No, this is a problem at home that has nothing to do with me. You've got a lot of anger built up inside of you.
[Off Camera to Julian ]
Heckler: Hey Patrick Swayze!
Ricky: See how does that feel?
Julian: All right--
Ricky: How the fuck does that feel?
Julian: Yeah, that's a bad one. Don't worry about it--
Heckler: It's Patrick Swayze and Reveen!
Julian: Did they just call me Patrick Swayze?
Ricky: Yeah they did.
[Three second pause]
Heckler: It's fucking Patrick Swayze and Reveen!
Ricky: You little fuckers.
Heckler: Hey, 'Dirty Dancing'!
TV Show: Trailer Park Boys
Ricky: Smokes, let's go, gimme some smokes.
Randy: I've only got two left, I'm not giving you any.
Ricky: You're a fucking dick. Lahey, go fuck yourself.
Randy: I've only got two left, I'm not giving you any.
Ricky: You're a fucking dick. Lahey, go fuck yourself.
TV Show: Trailer Park Boys
Cyrus: What's that camera doin' there?
Ricky: None of your fuckin' business actually.
Ricky: None of your fuckin' business actually.
TV Show: Trailer Park Boys
Ricky: You better chill out there, heavy metal dick.
Cyrus: Why don't you go back to the bowling alley where you came from, helmet head?
Cyrus: Why don't you go back to the bowling alley where you came from, helmet head?
TV Show: Trailer Park Boys
[Julian is throwing Cyrus' things out the window]
Cyrus: Hey! That's my shit!!
[Kids come and take Cyrus' things]
Cyrus: Hey! That's my shit!! That's my shit!
Cyrus: (to Julian) Obviously you didn't hear me when I said clear out your own shit. Now, I want a new TV, I want a VCR, and I want my porn tapes replaced because those were the creme de le creme.
Cyrus: Hey! That's my shit!!
[Kids come and take Cyrus' things]
Cyrus: Hey! That's my shit!! That's my shit!
Cyrus: (to Julian) Obviously you didn't hear me when I said clear out your own shit. Now, I want a new TV, I want a VCR, and I want my porn tapes replaced because those were the creme de le creme.
TV Show: Trailer Park Boys
[To Cyrus]
Ricky: What, are ya filmin' more episodes of Happy Days there, Fonzie?
Ricky: What, are ya filmin' more episodes of Happy Days there, Fonzie?
TV Show: Trailer Park Boys
Ricky: Me and Julian could definitely take care of the Cyrus thing. It's just that, Number One: we're on probation. Which is no big deal, but you know I don't really wanna go back to jail. And number two or three, or whatever the fuck number we're on...
TV Show: Trailer Park Boys
Julian: I want you outta that car in two days though, Ricky.
Ricky: No more than two weeks, I promise.
Ricky: No more than two weeks, I promise.
TV Show: Trailer Park Boys
Julian: What the hell happened to my trailer, boys?!
Cory: Okay, chill. There's this guy named Cyrus. He just moved in here, there was nothing we could do about it. He has a gun, and he's nuts.
Cory: Okay, chill. There's this guy named Cyrus. He just moved in here, there was nothing we could do about it. He has a gun, and he's nuts.
TV Show: Trailer Park Boys
[Ricky is asleep in the Shitmobile, Bubbles knocks on the roof, waking Ricky up with a start]
Bubbles: I want my kitty.
Ricky: Frig off, Bubbles! You gave me the cat!
Bubbles: I didn't say you could keep him, and I don't want him living in a fuckin' car!
Ricky: Bubbles, you got tons of cats. Let me keep him.
Bubbles: He was a loaner! I loaned him to you.
Ricky: Well, I need him! Look at my weed plants! One of them's dead.
Bubbles: I don't give a flyin' fuck! I didn't...never said you could keep him.
Ricky: What are you doing waking me up so early?
Bubbles: No cat of mine's gonna live in a car! Julian!
[Julian storms out of his trailer]
Julian: Will both of you guys shut up!
Bubbles: Ricky won't give me my kitty!
Julian: Ricky, give him his cat!
Ricky: It's my cat now! He gave it to me!
Julian: I don't care! Give him his cat!
[Ricky reaches into the back seat and grabs a potted plant]
Ricky: Look... You see that? You know why it's dead? Because a squirrel peed in it! That's why I need the cat. He protects my weed plants! I got four plants left, guys. That's all I got left in my life. Please let me have one cat to protect my plants!
Bubbles: Here's what I know, Ricky. If you love something, let it go. If it comes back, ya own it. If it doesn't, ya don't own it! And if it doesn't, you're an asshole, just like you!
[Bubbles slams the door lock down so Ricky can't get out of the car]
Julian: (to Ricky) Stay in the car!
[ Julian grabs the cat carrier out of the back seat and gives it to Bubbles]
Julian: Bubbles, take your cat! Get out of here! Ricky, you stay in the car!
[Ricky struggles to get the door open]
Ricky:
Bubbles: I want my kitty.
Ricky: Frig off, Bubbles! You gave me the cat!
Bubbles: I didn't say you could keep him, and I don't want him living in a fuckin' car!
Ricky: Bubbles, you got tons of cats. Let me keep him.
Bubbles: He was a loaner! I loaned him to you.
Ricky: Well, I need him! Look at my weed plants! One of them's dead.
Bubbles: I don't give a flyin' fuck! I didn't...never said you could keep him.
Ricky: What are you doing waking me up so early?
Bubbles: No cat of mine's gonna live in a car! Julian!
[Julian storms out of his trailer]
Julian: Will both of you guys shut up!
Bubbles: Ricky won't give me my kitty!
Julian: Ricky, give him his cat!
Ricky: It's my cat now! He gave it to me!
Julian: I don't care! Give him his cat!
[Ricky reaches into the back seat and grabs a potted plant]
Ricky: Look... You see that? You know why it's dead? Because a squirrel peed in it! That's why I need the cat. He protects my weed plants! I got four plants left, guys. That's all I got left in my life. Please let me have one cat to protect my plants!
Bubbles: Here's what I know, Ricky. If you love something, let it go. If it comes back, ya own it. If it doesn't, ya don't own it! And if it doesn't, you're an asshole, just like you!
[Bubbles slams the door lock down so Ricky can't get out of the car]
Julian: (to Ricky) Stay in the car!
[ Julian grabs the cat carrier out of the back seat and gives it to Bubbles]
Julian: Bubbles, take your cat! Get out of here! Ricky, you stay in the car!
[Ricky struggles to get the door open]
Ricky:
TV Show: Trailer Park Boys
Ricky: Yeah, me and Lucy broke up again and it sucks. You know, I'm not real happy about it but it's one of those things, I guess. Hopefully she'll come around... Bubbles, get off my property!
Bubbles: (off camera) Go fuck yourself, Ricky!
Ricky: And hopefully she'll take me back. Until then I'm perfectly happy living in this car and hopefully she'll come around soon, I guess. Bubbles, frig off and get off my property!
[Ricky and Bubbles square off like boxers]
Bubbles: You fuckin' want one?
Bubbles: (off camera) Go fuck yourself, Ricky!
Ricky: And hopefully she'll take me back. Until then I'm perfectly happy living in this car and hopefully she'll come around soon, I guess. Bubbles, frig off and get off my property!
[Ricky and Bubbles square off like boxers]
Bubbles: You fuckin' want one?
TV Show: Trailer Park Boys
[Julian talks to the camera inside his trailer; through the window we see Ricky and Bubbles grappling in the front yard]
Julian: I was at a party a long time ago at Ricky's house, and um...I think Lucy was about 18 or something...
Lucy: I met Julian at a party when I was like 17 or whatever and...I mean, it was...it was a long time ago and...You know, nothing really happened.
Julian: Anyway, we got, uh, really drunk and ate a shitload of mushrooms, and...I experienced memory loss and woke up and she was naked in bed with me. I don't think anything happened, but...I don't know, I just got out of there.
Julian: I was at a party a long time ago at Ricky's house, and um...I think Lucy was about 18 or something...
Lucy: I met Julian at a party when I was like 17 or whatever and...I mean, it was...it was a long time ago and...You know, nothing really happened.
Julian: Anyway, we got, uh, really drunk and ate a shitload of mushrooms, and...I experienced memory loss and woke up and she was naked in bed with me. I don't think anything happened, but...I don't know, I just got out of there.
TV Show: Trailer Park Boys
[Ricky and Bubbles are still grappling in the front yard when Lucy walks up with Trinity]
Ricky: Bubbles, just a second, please! Lucy! What are you doing here?
Lucy: I'm leaving Trinity with Julian. I need a little vacation.
Ricky: What about her father? I can take care of my own daughter.
Lucy: (mockingly) Great! Trinity, why don't you get your stuff and go stay in the car with Daddy? Perfect!
Ricky: What, the back seat of a car's not good enough for you now?
Ricky: Bubbles, just a second, please! Lucy! What are you doing here?
Lucy: I'm leaving Trinity with Julian. I need a little vacation.
Ricky: What about her father? I can take care of my own daughter.
Lucy: (mockingly) Great! Trinity, why don't you get your stuff and go stay in the car with Daddy? Perfect!
Ricky: What, the back seat of a car's not good enough for you now?
TV Show: Trailer Park Boys
[Ricky fills up a pitcher of Kool-Aid with a garden hose that's duct-taped to the side of his car]
Ricky: You know, ever since you guys have been around with your TV cameras, Julian's changed. You know, he's getting all frustated and he's taking his problems out on me and other people in the park... It's crazy! He lives in there in a palace and he's all stressed out! I live out here in a car and I've got everything I need and I'm happy! I mean, this is my home. So I don't know what his problem is.
Ricky: You know, ever since you guys have been around with your TV cameras, Julian's changed. You know, he's getting all frustated and he's taking his problems out on me and other people in the park... It's crazy! He lives in there in a palace and he's all stressed out! I live out here in a car and I've got everything I need and I'm happy! I mean, this is my home. So I don't know what his problem is.
TV Show: Trailer Park Boys
Lahey: Ricky, do you want me to ask my friends down at the police station if it's okay for you to be drunk in a public place and carrying a loaded handgun while you're on probation?
Ricky: Why do you start doing your job instead of making false incriminations all the time?
Lahey: Why don't you get a life, Rick? Why don't you go to community college like Julian here? Hey! I got a good idea! You could teach Living In A Car and Growing Dope 101!
Ricky: And you could teach how to get drunk, get fired from the police force, become a lousy trailer park supervisor that sucks, hangs around with a fucking idiot that doesn't wear a shirt and looks like a dick but thinks he looks good, 101.
Ricky: Why do you start doing your job instead of making false incriminations all the time?
Lahey: Why don't you get a life, Rick? Why don't you go to community college like Julian here? Hey! I got a good idea! You could teach Living In A Car and Growing Dope 101!
Ricky: And you could teach how to get drunk, get fired from the police force, become a lousy trailer park supervisor that sucks, hangs around with a fucking idiot that doesn't wear a shirt and looks like a dick but thinks he looks good, 101.
TV Show: Trailer Park Boys
Judge: Richard, since you chose to defend yourself and fire the public defender, I guess it's your turn to question the witness.
TV Show: Trailer Park Boys