Treasure Island Quotes

Squire Trelawney: Mutiny! By God, I'll see them hang for it!

Dr. Livesey: It's worse than Mutiny, Squire. It's murder. And if they're successful you won't see anything at all because you will be quite dead!

Squire Trelawney: Captain, you were right and I was wrong. I own myself an ass and I await your orders.

Captain Smollet: No more an ass than I, sir. This crew beats me!

Dr. Livesey: It's that Silver, he's a most remarkable man!

Captain Smollet: He'd look remarkably from a yard arm!

Movie: Treasure Island
Squire Trelawney: Well, gentlemen, this is definitely a genuine bona-fide treasure map.

Jim Hawkins: Really?

Squire Trelawney: Oh, yes. Mr. Bimbo told me so.
[pause]

Squire Trelawney: Oh, Mr. Bimbo lives in my finger. He's very smart. He's been to the moon.
[puts finger to his ear]

Squire Trelawney: Oh, thank you... twice.

Rizzo: I smell a bozo.

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Statler: Take a cruise, you said. See the world, you said. Now here we are, stuck on the front of this stupid ship.

Waldorf: Well, it could be worse. We could be stuck in the audience.

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Gonzo: One leg, Jim, count'em, one.

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[Billy Bones has apparently died]

Rizzo: He died? And this is supposed to be a kids' movie!

Billy Bones: [Billy Bones suddenly wakes up and, without opening his eyes, grabs Gonzo's nose to pull him closer] Jimmy-Jim-Jimmy-Jim-Jim-Jim-Jim! You've always been a decent sort to old Billy Bones.

Gonzo: Buy I'm not Jimmy-Jim-Jimmy-Jim-Jim-Jim-Jim.
[Nods at Jim]

Gonzo: *He's* Jimmy-Jim-Jimmy-Jim-Jim-Jim-Jim.

Billy Bones: [Billy Bones grabs Jim's shirt and pulls him closer] Jim?

Jim Hawkins: Yes, Captain?

Billy Bones: Jimmy-Jim-Jimmy-Jim-Jim-Jim-Jim!

Jim Hawkins: Yes, Captain, what is it?

Movie: Treasure Island
[Jim and Gonzo have been listing the different directions of the compass and what lies that way]

Mrs. Bluberidge: To the northwest dirty dishes!

Gonzo: How does she do that?

Jim Hawkins: Might as well start. I'll wash.

Rizzo: I'll dry.

Gonzo: I'll break.

Movie: Treasure Island
[the pirates have heard what appears to be the ghost of Captain Flint]

George Merry: Long John, don't you go crossing no spirit!

Long John Silver: Spirit, eh? Maybe. But man, beast, or spirit... I don't care if it's Beelzebub himself. I'M GONNA GET THAT LOOT!

Movie: Treasure Island
1st Pirate: [stroking skeleton] Dead Tom's dead, Dead Tom's dead, Dead Tom's dead...

2nd Pirate: But, Dead Tom's - ALWAYS - been dead. That's why he's called, "Dead Tom."

1st Pirate: Oh. Right
[tosses skeleton off screen]

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Benjamina Gunn: All right. No more Ms. Nice Guy.

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Benjamina Gunn: Smolly, can it be you?

Captain Abraham Smollett: Benjamina.

Benjamina Gunn: Hi-yah!
[Karate chops Smollett, sends him flying into the gong]

Captain Abraham Smollett: [to the gong ringer] Old girlfriend.

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Benjamina Gunn: You can't hurt my frog.

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Benjamina Gunn: You left me standing at the altar.

Captain Abraham Smollett: I was on a ship headed for Zanzibar. I got cold feet.

Benjamina Gunn: You're a frog. You're supposed to have cold feet.

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Billy Bones: [after opening sequence] Now isn't that a story worth a hearin'?

Pig Bar Patron: It was the first dozen times we heard it.

Sailor Mug: I'll drink to that.

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Billy Bones: Beware lads! Beware.

Jim Hawkins: What, the one-legged man?

Billy Bones: Aye. But also, beware runnin' with scissors or any other pointy object. It's all good fun, until somebody loses an - Ahhhh!

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Blind Pew: I sink I smell somesing burning.

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Capt. Alexander Smollett: My name is Alexander Smollett. I've flown my sovereign's colors, and I'll see you all to Davy Jones.

Long John Silver: [Lying on the ground without his crutch] That final?

Capt. Alexander Smollett: That's the last good word you'll hear out of me, by heaven. The next time we meet, I'll put a bullet in you. Do you meet my terms?

Long John Silver: No!

Capt. Alexander Smollett: Then tumble out of here, m'lad, hand over hand on the double!

Long John Silver: Gimme a hand up?

Capt. Alexander Smollett: Yah! I'd sooner touch carrion!

Long John Silver: Who'll give me a hand up?
[No one replies]

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Coral Silver: Why are you staring at me like that?

Slave Boy: I have never seen a woman in chains before. At least not a white woman.

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Dr. Livesay: [looking at the treasure map] Say, I know what's happening here. You chaps are planning to sail to this island, aren't you? To dig up this treasure.

Jim Hawkins: Yes, but we must be quiet about it.
[whisper]

Jim Hawkins: There are pirates looking for this map.

Gonzo: [normal voice] Yeah, and they want to KILL us for it! Isn't that exciting?

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Dr. Livesey: When do we sail?

Squire Trelawney: Better ask Captain Smollett. Five days, he's been selecting a crew. Six men, all he's got to show for it.

Dr. Livesey: Cautious, eh?

Squire Trelawney: Cautious? He pries into every seaman's past like a judge at a quarter session. When I threatened to step in, he told me to hire a sea cook, so, by Jove, I did hire a sea cook, right out of his own tavern! Ha ha! Fellow by the name of Long John Silver. I didn't waste my time poring over his credentials. All the credentials I needed was a taste of his ham and his buttered eggs!

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Gonzo: I thought pirates had talking parrots as pets.

Long John Silver: Talking... parrots?

Polly Lobster: What an imagination. First pirates, now talking parrots, what's next - a singing, dancing mouse with his own amusement park?

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Jim Hawkins: [sung] I look around here and I want to cry.

Rizzo: Ah, me too.

Jim Hawkins: [sung] I feel like the world is passing me by.

Gonzo: It is.

Jim Hawkins: [sung] And I just can't help but wonder am I doomed to wash and dry? And is it a curse I'm under to do it till I die.

Gonzo: Oh, I hope not.

Jim Hawkins: [sung] When I could be an explorer...

Gonzo: Sure you could.

Jim Hawkins: [sung] ... sailing off to distant lands...

Gonzo: Wait! Not so fast.

Jim Hawkins: [sung] ... 'stead of spending every afternoon just getting dishpan hands. My future looks like nowhere that I want to be.

Jim Hawkins, Rizzo, Gonzo: [sung] There's got to be something better, something better...

Jim Hawkins: [sung] There's got to be something better than this for me.

Movie: Treasure Island
Jim Hawkins: [sung] I look around here and I want to cry.

Rizzo: Ah, me too.

Jim Hawkins: [sung] I feel like the world is passing me by.

Gonzo: It is.

Jim Hawkins: [sung] And I just can't help but wonder am I doomed to wash and dry? And is it a curse I'm under to do it till I die.

Gonzo: Oh, I hope not.

Jim Hawkins: [sung] When I could be an explorer...

Gonzo: Sure you could.

Jim Hawkins: [sung] ... sailing off to distant lands...

Gonzo: Wait! Not so fast.

Jim Hawkins: [sung] ... 'stead of spending every afternoon just getting dishpan hands. My future looks like nowhere that I want to be.

Jim Hawkins, Rizzo, Gonzo: [sung] There's got to be something better, something better...

Jim Hawkins: [sung] There's got to be something better than this for me.

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Jim Hawkins: I hate my life.

Gonzo: I hate your life, too.

Rizzo: If I had a life, I'd hate it.

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Jim Hawkins: I'm sorry your present didn't work out.

Long John Silver: Aww, Jim. Smollet sails by rules and laws. That's what being a captain is all about. Me, I sails by the stars.

Jim Hawkins: Stars?

Long John Silver: North, Jim. Find me north out there among them stars.

Jim Hawkins: [pulls out compass] Well, that's easy...

Long John Silver: [takes compass from Jim and holds it overboard] Ah yeah, but what if you don't have a compass?

Jim Hawkins: Long John, please don't drop it! It was my father's. It's all I have of his. Please... please...

Long John Silver: [hands it back] I'm sorry, lad. I were only fooling. How old were you when he died, then?

Jim Hawkins: Seven.

Long John Silver: I were eight when my father died at sea. First mate, he was.

Jim Hawkins: My father was a first mate, too!

Long John Silver: Was he now? By the powers, what a coincidence!
[points to the night sky]

Long John Silver: Now, Jim, that be Polaris, the North Star. Even in the China Sea, that's north.

Jim Hawkins: [points to the star] North. Polaris. So, we must be heading southwest.

Long John Silver: Smart as paint you are, lad! Smart as paint! Now, that gets ol' Long John to wondering: why would we be sailing southwest? The scuttlebutt among the crew is that, um, we're sailing for buried treasure... and, uh, someone on board has a map. 'Course

Movie: Treasure Island
Jim Hawkins: Pirates, Captain Flint! Pirates!

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Jim Hawkins: That's the raging volcano? He's a frog.

Rizzo: Hey, hey, maybe he gets hopping mad.

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Jim Hawkins: Welcome aboard, Captain Smollet.

Mr. Samuel Erroll: And welcome to your lady pig friend.

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Long John Silver: A treaty's only good until you find a chance to break 'em, matey.

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Long John Silver: And this'll be young Master Hawkins, I'll be bound. Hawkins - 'tis a proper seafaring name, too.

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Long John Silver: Fire that musket and I cuts his throat

Movie: Treasure Island