Two and a Half Men Quote

[Jake plays 'Smoke on the Water' on Charlie's piano, and then bends down and plays the keys with his tongue. Charlie comes downstairs.]
Charlie: What are you doing?
Jake: Playing 'Smoke on the Water'
Charlie: With your tongue?
Jake: Pretty cool, huh?
Charlie: That's not cool, it's disgusting. Alan, get in here! [Alan comes in] Your kid's licking my piano!
Alan: Jake, don't lick your uncle's piano.
Jake: But I'm bored.
Alan: Go read a book.
Jake: I don't wanna read a book.
Charlie: Then go lick a book! [Jake leaves] How long is this whole grounding thing gonna go on for?
Alan: Two weeks.
Charlie: Two weeks?
Alan: Charlie, he stuck his ass out a bus window at the girls' track team.
Charlie: That's what you're grounding him for? When you were his age, you mooned the girls' choir.
Alan: No, uh, when I was his age, you pantsed me in front of the girls' choir.
Charlie: Oh, right. Well, either way, you made the yearbook.

TV Show: Two and a Half Men

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