Two-Bit Waltz Quotes
[first lines] The Therapist: And why is it that you're here?
Maude: I saw a sign today that said, Randy's donuts, tastiest donuts you've ever endured.
The Therapist: And why is it that you're here?
Maude: I want to die.
The Therapist: Recently, how have you been occupying your time?
Maude: I haven't been.
Maude: I saw a sign today that said, Randy's donuts, tastiest donuts you've ever endured.
The Therapist: And why is it that you're here?
Maude: I want to die.
The Therapist: Recently, how have you been occupying your time?
Maude: I haven't been.
Movie: Two-Bit Waltz
Teacher: What do you mean, you didn't take anything away from The Diary of Ann Frank?
Maude: What, like she's not making it all up?
Maude: What, like she's not making it all up?
Movie: Two-Bit Waltz
Max: I never got to properly... well, thank you for having sex with me all this time.
Maude: Sir, it was a pleasure.
Max: It meant a lot having sex with you.
Maude: That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Maude: Sir, it was a pleasure.
Max: It meant a lot having sex with you.
Maude: That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Movie: Two-Bit Waltz
Maude: Everyone's problems are interesting themselves, just not so much to other people. That's why all therapists want to kill themselves.
The Therapist: I don't seem to be there yet.
Maude: In time you will learn.
The Therapist: I don't seem to be there yet.
Maude: In time you will learn.
Movie: Two-Bit Waltz
Anita: Just tell him what you intend.
Maude: I don't intend anything. I looked at all the brochures, I don't like anything.
Anita: But that's ridiculous darling. You have hobbies. Just tell him your hobbies, for Christ sake.
Maude: Death.
Anita: She's kidding. Darling, what are you interests.
Maude: Suicide.
Anita: Since when?
Maude: Don't know. Just now I guess.
Maude: I don't intend anything. I looked at all the brochures, I don't like anything.
Anita: But that's ridiculous darling. You have hobbies. Just tell him your hobbies, for Christ sake.
Maude: Death.
Anita: She's kidding. Darling, what are you interests.
Maude: Suicide.
Anita: Since when?
Maude: Don't know. Just now I guess.
Movie: Two-Bit Waltz
Maude: [sitting on the street drinking]Oh Lord who art in heaven, Lord be thine name. Thy kingdom come, thy weary dumb, um... Where is my house?
Movie: Two-Bit Waltz
Anita: You're very talented, you know. I always knew it. And very determined. So unlike your father and me. And do you know I think that you're the strangest one in our family.
Maude: I'm sorry.
Anita: You don't have to be sorry.
Maude: No, I am mom. I think I made the very ordinary decision of being an ungrateful teenager.
Anita: Well, we've all done it, darling. And I was being a little bit of a C-word, at any rate.
Maude: I was, too.
Anita: Yes you were, too. And so were you.
Maude: I'm sorry.
Anita: You don't have to be sorry.
Maude: No, I am mom. I think I made the very ordinary decision of being an ungrateful teenager.
Anita: Well, we've all done it, darling. And I was being a little bit of a C-word, at any rate.
Maude: I was, too.
Anita: Yes you were, too. And so were you.
Movie: Two-Bit Waltz
Maude: I had self respect once, but I put it in the ironing cupboard and it never seemed to turn up again.
Movie: Two-Bit Waltz
Maude: Unpleasant circumstances are often the orb from which the idea may brew.
The Therapist: I think you're thinking of a crock pot.
The Therapist: I think you're thinking of a crock pot.
Movie: Two-Bit Waltz
[last lines] The Baby Elephant: You've done it.
Maude: I've done it.
The Baby Elephant: Well done.
Maude: Thank you.
The Baby Elephant: You're going to be the best writer.
Maude: I know.
The Baby Elephant: I know. Shall I lead the way.
Maude: Please do...
Maude: I've done it.
The Baby Elephant: Well done.
Maude: Thank you.
The Baby Elephant: You're going to be the best writer.
Maude: I know.
The Baby Elephant: I know. Shall I lead the way.
Maude: Please do...
Movie: Two-Bit Waltz