Waiting for Guffman Quotes
Dr. Allan Pearl: [singing] Nothing ever happens on Mars/No sports or entertainment/No swinging bars/You stand around/You stand some more/On a planet named for the Roman god of war.
Movie: Waiting for Guffman
Libby Mae Brown: I been workin' here at the D.Q. for about, um... eight months? Seven? I don't know, somethin' like that, it's fun. Just do the cones... make sundaes, make Blizzards, 'n... put stuff on 'em, 'n... see a lot of people come in, a lot of people come to the D.Q... burgers... ice cream... anything, you know? Cokes... just drive in and get a Coke, if you're thirsty.
Movie: Waiting for Guffman
Mrs. Pearl: We don't associate with the creative types. We have a Scrabble club. We associate with people with babies.
Movie: Waiting for Guffman
[Ron and Sheila are extras in some kind of Hollywood western]
Ron Albertson: I'd wish they'd at least give us a line. I made some suggestions...
Sheila: We should be line-DANCING.
Ron Albertson: I'd wish they'd at least give us a line. I made some suggestions...
Sheila: We should be line-DANCING.
Movie: Waiting for Guffman
[the Pearls and the Albertsons are dining at the Chop Suey Chinese kitchen]
Ron Albertson: Let me ask you something. You're a medical man.
Dr. Allan Pearl: Yes.
Ron Albertson: Uh... I wanna ask you something... if you... you... [stands up, prepares to drop trousers]
Dr. Allan Pearl: [Horrified] Oh!
Ron Albertson: No, I, I...
Dr. Allan Pearl: Oh, for heaven's sake, no, noooooo...
Ron Albertson: Look, no please, I just want...
Dr. Allan Pearl: No!
Mrs. Allan Pearl: You don't have to do that...
Ron Albertson: Doctor, please...
Dr. Allan Pearl: Mmmmmedicine Man not go near Dances With Stumpy! Noooo!
Ron Albertson: Let me ask you something. You're a medical man.
Dr. Allan Pearl: Yes.
Ron Albertson: Uh... I wanna ask you something... if you... you... [stands up, prepares to drop trousers]
Dr. Allan Pearl: [Horrified] Oh!
Ron Albertson: No, I, I...
Dr. Allan Pearl: Oh, for heaven's sake, no, noooooo...
Ron Albertson: Look, no please, I just want...
Dr. Allan Pearl: No!
Mrs. Allan Pearl: You don't have to do that...
Ron Albertson: Doctor, please...
Dr. Allan Pearl: Mmmmmedicine Man not go near Dances With Stumpy! Noooo!
Movie: Waiting for Guffman