Welcome Back, Kotter Quotes
Vinnie: You know, Mr. Kotter, prayer is good for you.
Kotter: Oh, I know that, Vinnie, I know. I prayed all morning, the whole time I was on the subway comin' to work. I prayed that we'd get to my stop before the two guys who were kickin' the conductor noticed me.
Kotter: Oh, I know that, Vinnie, I know. I prayed all morning, the whole time I was on the subway comin' to work. I prayed that we'd get to my stop before the two guys who were kickin' the conductor noticed me.
TV Show: Welcome Back, Kotter
Freddie: [to Vinnie] You got as much chance being a priest as I do gettin' the lead in the school production of Snow White.
Epstein: Yeah, and Freddie was the best one who read for the part. But, me and Horshack, see, we're still up for dwarfs.
Horshack: Yeah. Guess who's gonna play Dopey?
Kotter: If I was casting, I'd have a rough time choosing.
Epstein: Yeah, and Freddie was the best one who read for the part. But, me and Horshack, see, we're still up for dwarfs.
Horshack: Yeah. Guess who's gonna play Dopey?
Kotter: If I was casting, I'd have a rough time choosing.
TV Show: Welcome Back, Kotter
Freddie: We're gonna take all this money, we're gonna put it in the bank. We're gonna all be typhoons.
Kotter: That's, uh, tycoons.
Freddie: No, typhoons. 'Cause at the end of the year, we gonna all blow it!
Kotter: That's, uh, tycoons.
Freddie: No, typhoons. 'Cause at the end of the year, we gonna all blow it!
TV Show: Welcome Back, Kotter
Kotter: Epstein, take the stand.
Epstein: Do I gotta?
Kptter: That's right. This court does not recognize notes from your mother.
Epstein: Do I gotta?
Kptter: That's right. This court does not recognize notes from your mother.
TV Show: Welcome Back, Kotter
Carvelli: [about Kotter] Teacher? This is a tough school.
...
Carvelli: That's the oldest punk I ever saw.
Woodman: I'm not a punk; I'm the vice principal.
Carvelli: Vice principal? This is a tough school.
...
Carvelli: That's the oldest punk I ever saw.
Woodman: I'm not a punk; I'm the vice principal.
Carvelli: Vice principal? This is a tough school.
TV Show: Welcome Back, Kotter
Kotter: [about the Sweathogs] You guys look like a delinquent Mount Rushmore.
TV Show: Welcome Back, Kotter
Vinnie: I ain't gonna hurt any old relics. Not even Mr. Woodman.
Woodman: Get bent, Barbarino!
Woodman: Get bent, Barbarino!
TV Show: Welcome Back, Kotter
Vinnie: I went to a wax museum once. I saw Raquel Welch. You know that that wax comes right off in your hands?
Kotter: Next time wear gloves.
Kotter: Next time wear gloves.
TV Show: Welcome Back, Kotter
[Epstein gives Kotter a note from the principal saying that he was in conference with him]
Kotter: What are you trying to do to me, Epstein? I know the man's handwriting. This note is legitimate!
Epstein: Well, in baseball, it's called a change-up, you know? Keeps the hitter guessin'!
Kotter: What are you trying to do to me, Epstein? I know the man's handwriting. This note is legitimate!
Epstein: Well, in baseball, it's called a change-up, you know? Keeps the hitter guessin'!
TV Show: Welcome Back, Kotter
Woodman: A fine young lady like you doesn't belong with Sweathogs.
Jenny: Oh, yeah? In your horn with an ear of corn!
Woodman: She's a Sweathog!
Jenny: Oh, yeah? In your horn with an ear of corn!
Woodman: She's a Sweathog!
TV Show: Welcome Back, Kotter
Kotter: I had to decide whether or not I was gonna let junk food rule my life.
Epstein: Well, what'd you do?
Kotter: I went cold turkey.
Epstein: Cold turkey?
Kotter: That's right. For five days, instead of junk food, I ate nothin' but cold turkey!
Epstein: Well, what'd you do?
Kotter: I went cold turkey.
Epstein: Cold turkey?
Kotter: That's right. For five days, instead of junk food, I ate nothin' but cold turkey!
TV Show: Welcome Back, Kotter
Epstein: [about spending so long in the bathroom] I'm just enjoying a few moments of privacy, you know? I mean, when you got nine brothers and sisters like I got, the only time you get to use the bathroom by yourself is on your birthday!
TV Show: Welcome Back, Kotter
[Epstein brings a satchel to watch the lottery drawing]
Kotter: Epstein, what's that satchel for?
Epstein: It's for the money. What am I gonna do, stuff 250 G's in my pocket?
Freddie: Hey, Juan, um, they gonna give us a check.
Epstein: Oh, no, I don't take checks. Checks bounce.
Kotter: Well, this one's gonna be from New York State.
Epstein: Especially those!
Kotter: Epstein, what's that satchel for?
Epstein: It's for the money. What am I gonna do, stuff 250 G's in my pocket?
Freddie: Hey, Juan, um, they gonna give us a check.
Epstein: Oh, no, I don't take checks. Checks bounce.
Kotter: Well, this one's gonna be from New York State.
Epstein: Especially those!
TV Show: Welcome Back, Kotter
[Kotter and Julie are changing the babies]
Kotter: How come I always get the wet one?
Julie: Oh, she's just showing off for Daddy.
Kotter: We gotta break her of this habit before she starts dating.
Kotter: How come I always get the wet one?
Julie: Oh, she's just showing off for Daddy.
Kotter: We gotta break her of this habit before she starts dating.
TV Show: Welcome Back, Kotter
Julie: [as the babies cry] Okay, girls, now here's the deal. You can either go to sleep, or you can wash the dishes! [babies stop crying] I knew you'd take the easy way out.
TV Show: Welcome Back, Kotter
Vinnie: Mr. Woodman, why don't you take a couple days off and go hang gliding? It's good weather for it: no wind.
TV Show: Welcome Back, Kotter
Kotter: [about Horshack] He has joined the cult of Baba Bebe.
Woodman: Baba Bebe? You mean the one who brainwashes young people?
[Kotter nods]
Woodman: My kind of guy! [laughs]
Woodman: Baba Bebe? You mean the one who brainwashes young people?
[Kotter nods]
Woodman: My kind of guy! [laughs]
TV Show: Welcome Back, Kotter
Horshack: My name is Abu Kareem Hassan. What is, is. What was, will be. What will be, was, but will be again.
Vinnie: We better hurry up, I'm startin' to understand him.
Vinnie: We better hurry up, I'm startin' to understand him.
TV Show: Welcome Back, Kotter
Epstein: How'd you figure it was Cavelli, pop?
Kotter: Ah, good question, number one son. Old Chinese proverb: Man who try to pull wool over eyes wind up with sheep on face.
Kotter: Ah, good question, number one son. Old Chinese proverb: Man who try to pull wool over eyes wind up with sheep on face.
TV Show: Welcome Back, Kotter