Wizards of Waverly Place Quotes
Alex: [To Justin] You want to hear a billion year old guy talk about falling? Just go hang out with Grandpa
Jakara: I will hang out with Isante and Scott.
Jakara: I will hang out with Isante and Scott.
TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
[Justin walks in to Wizard's Lair]
Justin: What are you doing?
Alex: You'll be interested to know that I've found the perfect present for dad.
Justin: [gasps][whispers to skull staff] She's going to turn her lips into a zipper!
Alex: Oh! That's a good shot! How long have you been working on that one?
Justin: Since the day that mom came home and said "Look! There's your little sister, Justin!"
Justin: What are you doing?
Alex: You'll be interested to know that I've found the perfect present for dad.
Justin: [gasps][whispers to skull staff] She's going to turn her lips into a zipper!
Alex: Oh! That's a good shot! How long have you been working on that one?
Justin: Since the day that mom came home and said "Look! There's your little sister, Justin!"
TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
[huge alien spaceship lands in Waverly Place]
Zeke: Can you guys believe it! Aliens have landed on Waverly Place!
Max: Yeah well who's gonna tell them they can't park there? There gonna get towed...
Zeke: Can you guys believe it! Aliens have landed on Waverly Place!
Max: Yeah well who's gonna tell them they can't park there? There gonna get towed...
TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
[Aliens aiming guns at the family]
Theresa: Jerry! Help us!
[Jerry gasps. Looks back and forth between family and milkshake machine.]
Jerry: Ahh!
[Runs to protect milkshake machine]
Jerry: Not the milkshake machine! PLEASE!!!!
Theresa: [To Family] I knew it!
Theresa: Jerry! Help us!
[Jerry gasps. Looks back and forth between family and milkshake machine.]
Jerry: Ahh!
[Runs to protect milkshake machine]
Jerry: Not the milkshake machine! PLEASE!!!!
Theresa: [To Family] I knew it!
TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Lead Alien: What happened? Where did the milkshake machine go?
Alex: Justin, you did it!
[Justin walks into the room holding one of the alien's guns]
Justin: Luckily one of those aliens dropped this thing and I was able to quickly figure out how to operate their advanced technology. It's a switch!
Alex: Justin, you did it!
[Justin walks into the room holding one of the alien's guns]
Justin: Luckily one of those aliens dropped this thing and I was able to quickly figure out how to operate their advanced technology. It's a switch!
TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Lead Alien: Hand over the Milkshake Machine
[Jerry holds Max in front of him]
Jerry: Here's the Milkshake Machine
Theresa: JERRY!!!
[Jerry holds Max in front of him]
Jerry: Here's the Milkshake Machine
Theresa: JERRY!!!
TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Theresa: Let's find Alex and get out of here.
Jerry: Right, and before she figures out that there's a school on board.
Jerry: Right, and before she figures out that there's a school on board.
TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Justin: Okay, Alex. I got exactly what I wanted: a date with London Tipton.
Alex: Great!
Justin: Not great. I lied to get her.
Alex: Still great!
Justin: No. I got exactly what I wanted and now it's all terrible because she's not so smart.
Alex: What do you mean?
Justin: Max thinks she's dumb.
Alex: Oh, you gotta dump her.
Alex: Great!
Justin: Not great. I lied to get her.
Alex: Still great!
Justin: No. I got exactly what I wanted and now it's all terrible because she's not so smart.
Alex: What do you mean?
Justin: Max thinks she's dumb.
Alex: Oh, you gotta dump her.
TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
London: Oh my gosh! Bailey?! She's choking! She's choking! Dr. Fossil, help her! You're a doctor!
Justin: I don't know how to save her!
London: What kind of doctor doesn't know how to save a person's life?!
Justin: Look, I was going to tell you-
London: Tell me what? That you're not a very smart doctor?!
Alex: Bailey! (gives Bailey abdominal thrusts and Bailey stops choking) Bailey, are you okay?
Bailey: Yes, thank you! (hugs Alex)
Mr. Moesby: You just saved her life. What's your name again?
Alex: Ashely Simpson!
Justin: I don't know how to save her!
London: What kind of doctor doesn't know how to save a person's life?!
Justin: Look, I was going to tell you-
London: Tell me what? That you're not a very smart doctor?!
Alex: Bailey! (gives Bailey abdominal thrusts and Bailey stops choking) Bailey, are you okay?
Bailey: Yes, thank you! (hugs Alex)
Mr. Moesby: You just saved her life. What's your name again?
Alex: Ashely Simpson!
TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Alex: Well, at least I had fun in the sun before I got stuck in that class.
Harper: At least I got to go on a cruise I had no business on.
Alex: (smiles) I'll see you back home. (casts a spell) From east to west, this spell's no jest, wherever we roam, send Harper back home. (Harper disappears) Wait, did I say roam or home first? Eh, she'll like Rome.
Harper: At least I got to go on a cruise I had no business on.
Alex: (smiles) I'll see you back home. (casts a spell) From east to west, this spell's no jest, wherever we roam, send Harper back home. (Harper disappears) Wait, did I say roam or home first? Eh, she'll like Rome.
TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Jerry: You're dating the competition? How could you do this to us?
TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Max: (inside a giant Jack-o-Lantern) You're probably jealous because I moved out of the house before I did. Tell Mommy and Daddy I said "Hi", loser!
Justin: Okay. I'll tell them. (turns to the house) Hey Mom, Dad; the kid living in the Jack-o-Lantern thinks I'm a loser!
Justin: Okay. I'll tell them. (turns to the house) Hey Mom, Dad; the kid living in the Jack-o-Lantern thinks I'm a loser!
TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Alex: (about Juliet's parents' plans to suck her and Harper's blood) Wait a minute, so you were planning this the whole time? Unbelievable! Well! Maybe this goes without saying, but I quit!
Harper: (to Alex) I kinda need the job, so I'm going to take my chances.
Harper: (to Alex) I kinda need the job, so I'm going to take my chances.
TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Jerry: Not until you apologize for almost biting my daughter's neck and turning her into a vampire for all of eternity!
Cindy: Alright, alright, we're sorry! Why don't we smooth it over with a little bit of ice cream?
Jerry: Really? You're about to turn our daughter into a vampire, and you think you can just "smooth it over" with some ice cream?
Alucard: So you don't want the ice cream?
Jerry: No, we want the ice cream.
Theresa: Jerry!
Jerry: Um...and I think we need more of an apology.
Cindy: Unlimited toppings?
Jerry: I accept your apology. I'll take mine in a cup.
Alex: Dad! They were just about to eat our blood!
Jerry: That's right! This is unacceptable! Harper was going to be the one to take care of us in our old age!
Harper: (quietly) Yes!
Alucard: Alright! I'll make dinner, too! Who's up for some really rare steaks?
Cindy: Alright, alright, we're sorry! Why don't we smooth it over with a little bit of ice cream?
Jerry: Really? You're about to turn our daughter into a vampire, and you think you can just "smooth it over" with some ice cream?
Alucard: So you don't want the ice cream?
Jerry: No, we want the ice cream.
Theresa: Jerry!
Jerry: Um...and I think we need more of an apology.
Cindy: Unlimited toppings?
Jerry: I accept your apology. I'll take mine in a cup.
Alex: Dad! They were just about to eat our blood!
Jerry: That's right! This is unacceptable! Harper was going to be the one to take care of us in our old age!
Harper: (quietly) Yes!
Alucard: Alright! I'll make dinner, too! Who's up for some really rare steaks?
TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Jerry: Justin, you've got to stop buying me those parenting books. I'm not going to read them!
TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Justin: Hi, dad. You must have noticed how down I was and wanted to come talk.
Jerry: No, we need the table.
Jerry: No, we need the table.
TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Alex: No, I know you can sing. I'm just saying, do you really want to do it in front of all of those people? Staring right up at you? Waving their cellphones, taking your picture? Putting it on the internet for people to see over and over and over again, so people can watch it for years and years and years?
Justin: No, it's gonna-it's gonna be great. Because after that, I'm going to ask her to go steady with me.
Alex: (scoffs) Go steady? Whose prom are you going to, grandpa's?
Justin: No, it's gonna-it's gonna be great. Because after that, I'm going to ask her to go steady with me.
Alex: (scoffs) Go steady? Whose prom are you going to, grandpa's?
TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Max: It feels good to be appreciated.
Alex: Yeah, don't get use to it.
Alex: Yeah, don't get use to it.
TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Alex: So that's where the fliers went.
Max: Yes! Zombies are coming man! Don't worry, I already locked the doors. Nobody can get in, and we can't get out.
Alex and Justin: (mad at Max for being an idiot) Did you at least find the No Fear Ring? I could really use it right now.
Alex: Harper has it. That's why she's standing up to the zombies.
Max: Yes! Zombies are coming man! Don't worry, I already locked the doors. Nobody can get in, and we can't get out.
Alex and Justin: (mad at Max for being an idiot) Did you at least find the No Fear Ring? I could really use it right now.
Alex: Harper has it. That's why she's standing up to the zombies.
TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Alex: We're always one step ahead of them. (low fives Harper and leaves with her)
TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Justin: [Referring to their aunt] Well we're gonna have to find a way to get her back here so she could retake the test!
Jerry: Well, the problem is nobody knows where she is!
Justin: Well we're gonna have to find her then!
Max: [Stands up] I have a magnifying glass, will that help?
Justin: [Looks to his dad than back] She's not tiny!
Max: You said she was an ant!
Jerry: Well, the problem is nobody knows where she is!
Justin: Well we're gonna have to find her then!
Max: [Stands up] I have a magnifying glass, will that help?
Justin: [Looks to his dad than back] She's not tiny!
Max: You said she was an ant!
TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Megan: (about Kelbo) Yep, you're just like him.
Max: Thank you!
Megan: That wasn't a compliment.
Max: Thank you!
Megan: It was an insult.
Max: Thank you!
Max: Thank you!
Megan: That wasn't a compliment.
Max: Thank you!
Megan: It was an insult.
Max: Thank you!
TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Alex: (making a prank call) Excuse me but is your refrigerator running?
Megan: Alex, I know it's you. I can see Kelbo's wand number on my caller ID.
Alex: Guys, she's on to us!
Justin: We forgot to dial pound, horse, unicorn!
Alex: What do we do?!
Uncle Kelbo: What we always do! Run! (pushes Max and Justin and runs)
Megan: Alex, I know it's you. I can see Kelbo's wand number on my caller ID.
Alex: Guys, she's on to us!
Justin: We forgot to dial pound, horse, unicorn!
Alex: What do we do?!
Uncle Kelbo: What we always do! Run! (pushes Max and Justin and runs)
TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Theresa: The minute Justin tried to magically glue me to my chair, I knew something was up. You will NOT stop, will you?!
Alex: Well, what am I supposed to do?! Since you've decided you wanted to control EVERY SINGLE SECOND OF MY LIFE.
Theresa: Please. Do you think I'm doing this for me? Like you're actually pleasant to be around?
Alex: I am 16! You can't keep telling me...what to do!
Theresa: Watch me. For the rest of this trip you are going to be pleasant and present...
Alex: You can't make me.
Theresa: When we get home, you are grounded for two months. That's right. No dating, no parties, no magic...
Alex: MOM!
Theresa: Not another word. I've had it. Now put that stuff away. (leaves the room and shuts the door)
Alex: OH, I HATE you! I WISH YOU AND DAD HAD NEVER EVEN MET!(the wand in her hand glows and an aurora starts to fill the room causing the spell)
Alex: Well, what am I supposed to do?! Since you've decided you wanted to control EVERY SINGLE SECOND OF MY LIFE.
Theresa: Please. Do you think I'm doing this for me? Like you're actually pleasant to be around?
Alex: I am 16! You can't keep telling me...what to do!
Theresa: Watch me. For the rest of this trip you are going to be pleasant and present...
Alex: You can't make me.
Theresa: When we get home, you are grounded for two months. That's right. No dating, no parties, no magic...
Alex: MOM!
Theresa: Not another word. I've had it. Now put that stuff away. (leaves the room and shuts the door)
Alex: OH, I HATE you! I WISH YOU AND DAD HAD NEVER EVEN MET!(the wand in her hand glows and an aurora starts to fill the room causing the spell)
TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
[Alex and Max sitting on a couch watching a scary movie]
Max: Frankenstein Vs. Snakes 3D is the best monsters versus snakes movie ever!
Alex: I think it's the best movie ever because we stole out of Justin's room.
Max: Frankenstein Vs. Snakes 3D is the best monsters versus snakes movie ever!
Alex: I think it's the best movie ever because we stole out of Justin's room.
TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Justin: (Looking at Franken-girl) SHE'S ALIVE! SHE'S ALIVE! SHE'S ALIVE!
TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place