Wizards of Waverly Place Quotes
Max: Alex went to Pennsylvania!
Jerry: The Keystone State!
Justin: Are you sure she didn't say Transylvania?
Max: I don't know. Say 'Pennsylvania' with a British accent.
Justin: (in normal voice) Transylvania.
Max: That was it.
Jerry: The Keystone State!
Justin: Are you sure she didn't say Transylvania?
Max: I don't know. Say 'Pennsylvania' with a British accent.
Justin: (in normal voice) Transylvania.
Max: That was it.
TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Alex: (lays her head on Justin's shoulder) Promise me we'll find normal people.
Justin: We're not normal people.
Justin: We're not normal people.
TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Alex: Sorry couch and t.v., you're gonna have to get along without me! Yay!
George: (smiles and leaves)
Alex: Life is so good! (to Harper) I'm going to the dance with George!
Alex and Harper: (jumping up and down) Yay!
George: (smiles and leaves)
Alex: Life is so good! (to Harper) I'm going to the dance with George!
Alex and Harper: (jumping up and down) Yay!
TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Zeke: Ready? Okay!
Alex and Zeke: Here come the Turkeys! (claps) Justin's got the water! (claps) They can't win without him. (claps)
Zeke: So let's applaud her.
Alex and Zeke: Here come the Turkeys! (claps) Justin's got the water! (claps) They can't win without him. (claps)
Zeke: So let's applaud her.
TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Delinquent Justin: [to his parents] All I'm saying is that planning your future is like digging your grave with a pencil and, like, a calender.
TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Stevie: Hello prisoners. (picks up a guy's hat, drops it, and points at Mr. Laritate) Warden.
Mr. Laritate: (smiles meekly)
Stevie: (takes another guy's device) Sorry I'm late. I had a phone call (looks at Eddie) with you mom. She said, "Get out of chair!"
Eddie: (goes to different chair)
Stevie: (sits down comfortably)
Alex: (turns to Stevie) Who are you?
Stevie: I'm Stevie. Last name...I don't want to know yours so why do you want to know mine?
Mr. Laritate: She makes you look like him. (motions to Justin)
Justin: (waves)
Mr. Laritate: All right, I'll be back to let you out of the cage at three. If need anything, you should have thought of that before you acted up. (leaves and closes the door)
Alex: (gets up) Hey Stevie, why don't you tell me a bedtime story about how you ended up in detention so fast? (takes a pillow hidden from inside a globe)
Stevie: Got caught for some stuff in my old school, so they're making me make up detention here. But it's cool. It's the quickest way to meet my people.
Alex: (gets a sound machine from behind a plague on the wall) You're people? Oh, you mean people like me! Thank you! That's so sweet! (makes a hammock) Now, if you'll excuse me. I need a couple of more hours shut eye under a gentle rain. (turns the sound machine on and the machine plays sounds of rain)
Eddie: Yeah you gotta turn that down. It makes me want to go numero uno.
Mr. Laritate: (smiles meekly)
Stevie: (takes another guy's device) Sorry I'm late. I had a phone call (looks at Eddie) with you mom. She said, "Get out of chair!"
Eddie: (goes to different chair)
Stevie: (sits down comfortably)
Alex: (turns to Stevie) Who are you?
Stevie: I'm Stevie. Last name...I don't want to know yours so why do you want to know mine?
Mr. Laritate: She makes you look like him. (motions to Justin)
Justin: (waves)
Mr. Laritate: All right, I'll be back to let you out of the cage at three. If need anything, you should have thought of that before you acted up. (leaves and closes the door)
Alex: (gets up) Hey Stevie, why don't you tell me a bedtime story about how you ended up in detention so fast? (takes a pillow hidden from inside a globe)
Stevie: Got caught for some stuff in my old school, so they're making me make up detention here. But it's cool. It's the quickest way to meet my people.
Alex: (gets a sound machine from behind a plague on the wall) You're people? Oh, you mean people like me! Thank you! That's so sweet! (makes a hammock) Now, if you'll excuse me. I need a couple of more hours shut eye under a gentle rain. (turns the sound machine on and the machine plays sounds of rain)
Eddie: Yeah you gotta turn that down. It makes me want to go numero uno.
TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Eddie: Yeah that's right, I speak French.
Stevie: (turns the sound machine volume higher) Well, Oui, Oui.
Alex: (laughs and does a handshake with Stevie)
Stevie: (turns the sound machine volume higher) Well, Oui, Oui.
Alex: (laughs and does a handshake with Stevie)
TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Alex and Shakira: (singing) Broke my heart down the road. Spent the weekend sewing the pieces back on. Crayons and dolls pass me by. Walking gets too boring when you learn how to fly. Not the homecoming kind. Take the top off and who knows what you might find. Won't confess all of my sins. You can bet I try it but you can't always win. 'Cause I'm a gypsy. Are you coming with me?
Shakira: (transforms into Uncle Kelbo)
Alex and Max: Uncle Kelbo?
Shakira: (transforms into Uncle Kelbo)
Alex and Max: Uncle Kelbo?
TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Alex: Shakira!
Justin: Shakira!
Alex: Maybe if we say it in Spanish!
Justin: (in a Spanish accent) Shakira!
Alex: (in a Spanish accent) Shakira!
Justin: Shakira!
Alex: Maybe if we say it in Spanish!
Justin: (in a Spanish accent) Shakira!
Alex: (in a Spanish accent) Shakira!
TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Alex: (to Stevie) We need to something about this music (looks at Harper) then her.
Harper: (dancing)
Harper: (dancing)
TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Alex: I'd love to see the look on Justin's face if he saw this band instead of those jazz geezers.
Stevie: That would be awesome! We gotta make that happen!
Alex: If only we knew two girls with devious enough minds to come up with a scheme to get Uggh to play at our school.
Stevie: Hmmmm. I think I see one.
Alex: And I see another one. (high fives Stevie)
Stevie: That would be awesome! We gotta make that happen!
Alex: If only we knew two girls with devious enough minds to come up with a scheme to get Uggh to play at our school.
Stevie: Hmmmm. I think I see one.
Alex: And I see another one. (high fives Stevie)
TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Alex: As I hear people say all the time and I cannot spell, touche.
TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Harper: [bends to the gorund] But that was Jeremy from science! He was going to ask me out.
Alex: Harper.
Harper: [turns to Alex] And now we will never know.
Alex: Harper.
Harper: [turns to Alex] And now we will never know.
TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Justin: I gotta use magic. [transforms into Alex] Okay I'll just pretend I'm Alex and convince Harper to help me with the float. No, I can't do it. It's just not me. [transforms back into himself and groans] But I do need to finish the float. [scratches his back with his wand] Ahh, ooh! [transforms to Alex] But it's a selfish use of magic and that's wrong. [transforms back to himself] But it would allow Harper to be with her friend, which would be nice. [transforms to Alex] No I can't do it! [transforms back] But I have to! [transforms into Alex] But I can't!
Harper: [walks out] Alex?
Justin as Alex: Uh oh. [drops his wand]
Harper: Oh my gosh! You came back to be with me.
Justin as Alex: [high pitched] Yes I'm....[clears voice] Yes I'm-I'm Alex and I came back to work on the float with you, and also to tell you how much you mean to me.
Harper: Aw, you never said that to me before. Thanks.
Justin as Alex: Well, you're welcome.
Harper: You never said that to me or to anyone. You must be really making an effort here. [grabs a mallet]
Justin as Alex: Wow, she sure has set the bar low for herself.
Harper: Why are you wearing Justin's clothes?
Justin as Alex: Oh. Be-because I stole them from Justin. Because I'm a dirty, lying thief.
Harper: [rubs Justin's head and smiles] I know you are.
Harper: [walks out] Alex?
Justin as Alex: Uh oh. [drops his wand]
Harper: Oh my gosh! You came back to be with me.
Justin as Alex: [high pitched] Yes I'm....[clears voice] Yes I'm-I'm Alex and I came back to work on the float with you, and also to tell you how much you mean to me.
Harper: Aw, you never said that to me before. Thanks.
Justin as Alex: Well, you're welcome.
Harper: You never said that to me or to anyone. You must be really making an effort here. [grabs a mallet]
Justin as Alex: Wow, she sure has set the bar low for herself.
Harper: Why are you wearing Justin's clothes?
Justin as Alex: Oh. Be-because I stole them from Justin. Because I'm a dirty, lying thief.
Harper: [rubs Justin's head and smiles] I know you are.
TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Alex: You're not my friend Harper.
Harper: What?
Alex: Stevie's my friend. You're my sister.
Harper: (smiles)
Alex: (hugs Harper) I love you.
Harper: I love you too.
Alex: Okay. (crawl over the window)
Harper: Wait, what are you doing?
Alex: Well I'm not going to let you stay here alone.
Harper: But if you get in trouble?
Alex: For what, sneaking into detention? Yeah I would love to see how that works.
Harper: I guess if you get into trouble you're already here so... Hey your boots match the detention chair.
Alex: Yeah, there use to be two chairs. (sits on the detention chair the same time as Harper)
Harper: What?
Alex: Stevie's my friend. You're my sister.
Harper: (smiles)
Alex: (hugs Harper) I love you.
Harper: I love you too.
Alex: Okay. (crawl over the window)
Harper: Wait, what are you doing?
Alex: Well I'm not going to let you stay here alone.
Harper: But if you get in trouble?
Alex: For what, sneaking into detention? Yeah I would love to see how that works.
Harper: I guess if you get into trouble you're already here so... Hey your boots match the detention chair.
Alex: Yeah, there use to be two chairs. (sits on the detention chair the same time as Harper)
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Harper: (as Juliet) Okay let's stare at the tree and I'll explain more.
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Harper: I will not panic. I will not panic. I will not panic...AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! [runs into the storage room screaming]
TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Alex: [burps at Agent Lambwood's face then laughs] I'm not telling you guys anything.
TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Alex: : Wait, wait, wait! We've heard two different stories here.
Harper: Well, maybe Warren is lying. Let's see if he can stand up to one of my uncomfortable stares.
Justin: [shudders]
[Harper stares and Warren faints]
Harper: Yep, he's a liar.
Alex: : Quick! Quick! He fainted. Someone give me a pen. I love drawing mustaches on people who can't stop me!
Justin: Uh, now it makes sense, he won and a disgruntled family member is trying to wreck it for him. I've seen my future in the present.
Alex: Stevie is my friend. I'm sure she's got a reasonable explanation for what's going on.
[Justin scoffs]
Alex: Everyone is innocent until proven guilty.
Justin: C'mon Harper, let's go find Stevie. [starts to walk away with Harper]
Alex: I bet you he has a pen on him! [searches Warren]
Justin: [goes back to Alex and drags her away] Alex, stop that! It looks illegal.
Harper: Well, maybe Warren is lying. Let's see if he can stand up to one of my uncomfortable stares.
Justin: [shudders]
[Harper stares and Warren faints]
Harper: Yep, he's a liar.
Alex: : Quick! Quick! He fainted. Someone give me a pen. I love drawing mustaches on people who can't stop me!
Justin: Uh, now it makes sense, he won and a disgruntled family member is trying to wreck it for him. I've seen my future in the present.
Alex: Stevie is my friend. I'm sure she's got a reasonable explanation for what's going on.
[Justin scoffs]
Alex: Everyone is innocent until proven guilty.
Justin: C'mon Harper, let's go find Stevie. [starts to walk away with Harper]
Alex: I bet you he has a pen on him! [searches Warren]
Justin: [goes back to Alex and drags her away] Alex, stop that! It looks illegal.
TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Superintendent Clanton: Laritate, you have obviously lost control of the helm and it seems [Looking at Alex] that this young sailor here...may be the iceberg that sinks your Titanic!
Alex: [Giggles] Well that's very sweet of you to say, thank you!
Alex: [Giggles] Well that's very sweet of you to say, thank you!
TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Alex: [laughing with Harper] Tom Sawyer? That is such an obvious lie. It's the name from the Rush song.
Harper: [looks at Alex] And the classic book.
Alex: Wow, that song was good. I didn't know they made a book out of it.
Harper: [looks at Alex] And the classic book.
Alex: Wow, that song was good. I didn't know they made a book out of it.
TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Max: [comes home] I did it. I told Nancy the truth.
Jerry: We're proud of you Max.
Theresa: Isn't it easier telling the truth, honey?
Max: I'm so relieved that I told her I'm a wizard.
Jerry: We're proud of you Max.
Theresa: Isn't it easier telling the truth, honey?
Max: I'm so relieved that I told her I'm a wizard.
TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Justin and Jerry: [did a spit take]
The Russos: [look at Max] YOU WHAT?!?!
Theresa: Max! When I told you to tell the truth to Nancy I meant to her the truth about being a Russo, not a wizard!
Max: You wanted me to tell her the truth but not the whole truth? This truth thing is confusing, mom. To tell you the truth.
Alex: Yeah, I mean you tell the truth you get in trouble. You lie you get in trouble. We're probably just better off not talking to each other.
Jerry: What did Nancy say when you told her?
Max: She didn't believe me.
The Russos: [look at Max] YOU WHAT?!?!
Theresa: Max! When I told you to tell the truth to Nancy I meant to her the truth about being a Russo, not a wizard!
Max: You wanted me to tell her the truth but not the whole truth? This truth thing is confusing, mom. To tell you the truth.
Alex: Yeah, I mean you tell the truth you get in trouble. You lie you get in trouble. We're probably just better off not talking to each other.
Jerry: What did Nancy say when you told her?
Max: She didn't believe me.
TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Jerry: Max, you really need to work on how you give information when you tell a story. I mean, if I had a ketchup bottle when you said you told her, I would have squeezed it and ketchup would have been flying everywhere.
TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Jerry: Harper please hand me the ketchup. [Harper gives Jerry the ketchup]
Max: But then I took her on a magic carpet ride and she totally believed me.
Jerry: Ahhh! (squeezes the ketchup bottle)
Theresa: [opens her mouth]
Max: But then I took her on a magic carpet ride and she totally believed me.
Jerry: Ahhh! (squeezes the ketchup bottle)
Theresa: [opens her mouth]
TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place