Wizards of Waverly Place Quotes
Harper: What's going on?
Justin: There's gifts from Uncle Kelbo that we weren't suppose to open but we did. Mom hates magic. There's a magic chicken running around. If you see waffles don't ask where they came from. Just enjoy them.
Harper: Wait, you people are eating waffles? I made cake.
Justin: There's gifts from Uncle Kelbo that we weren't suppose to open but we did. Mom hates magic. There's a magic chicken running around. If you see waffles don't ask where they came from. Just enjoy them.
Harper: Wait, you people are eating waffles? I made cake.
TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Alex: Are you really going to make Max that stupid backpack shirt?
Harper: No! A backpack shirt would be embarrassing.
Alex: And that hat?
Harper: Oh don't start with me! Look I just wanted to get you into the lair. I can't stand to see Justin like this.
Alex: Well I can't stand to see Justin hardly at all, but I've gotten used to it and so should you because Juliet is not coming back.
Harper: Or is she?
Alex: No, she's not! Didn't you see her hobble off into the woods? I think Mason ate her.
Harper: Alright here's a thought. Justin needs to move on and if he can't hear it from us, maybe he needs to hear it from Juliet.
Alex: But he already did hear it from her. The old lady version of her.
Harper: Yeah but come on, who listens to old people? What if you made me look like Juliet and she told him?
Alex: Harper that doesn't sound like you want to help Justin, it sounds like you want to date him.
Harper: Oh that's not it. Why is it so hard to get you Russos to do something nice for each other?
Alex: Because when you help someone your guard is down and that's when another Russo will come right behind you and trip you!
Harper: (gives Alex a look)
Alex: Okay! Fine! I'll do it! But only because you're doing all the work. I'm just waving a wand. (waves her wand) Transfix, transpose. Make Harper look like Juliet from head to toe. (casts the spell and has a shocked look on her face)
Harper: (transforms into old Juliet) Eh? How do I look?
Alex: (lying) Great! You look great! (serious) Umm...this is a lot more work than I thought. Okay alright. (waves her wand) Transfix, transpose. Make Harper look like young Juliet including the clothes.
Harper: (transforms to young Juliet)
Alex: There you go. (th
Harper: No! A backpack shirt would be embarrassing.
Alex: And that hat?
Harper: Oh don't start with me! Look I just wanted to get you into the lair. I can't stand to see Justin like this.
Alex: Well I can't stand to see Justin hardly at all, but I've gotten used to it and so should you because Juliet is not coming back.
Harper: Or is she?
Alex: No, she's not! Didn't you see her hobble off into the woods? I think Mason ate her.
Harper: Alright here's a thought. Justin needs to move on and if he can't hear it from us, maybe he needs to hear it from Juliet.
Alex: But he already did hear it from her. The old lady version of her.
Harper: Yeah but come on, who listens to old people? What if you made me look like Juliet and she told him?
Alex: Harper that doesn't sound like you want to help Justin, it sounds like you want to date him.
Harper: Oh that's not it. Why is it so hard to get you Russos to do something nice for each other?
Alex: Because when you help someone your guard is down and that's when another Russo will come right behind you and trip you!
Harper: (gives Alex a look)
Alex: Okay! Fine! I'll do it! But only because you're doing all the work. I'm just waving a wand. (waves her wand) Transfix, transpose. Make Harper look like Juliet from head to toe. (casts the spell and has a shocked look on her face)
Harper: (transforms into old Juliet) Eh? How do I look?
Alex: (lying) Great! You look great! (serious) Umm...this is a lot more work than I thought. Okay alright. (waves her wand) Transfix, transpose. Make Harper look like young Juliet including the clothes.
Harper: (transforms to young Juliet)
Alex: There you go. (th
TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Harper: (voice over) When Alex turned me into Juliet I had good intentions. But then you started asking those questions and I panicked.
Alex: (hiding)
Justin: (to Max) Max, did you see Juliet go by?
Harper: (comes out from hiding)
Alex: Psst!
Harper: (goes to Alex)
Alex: What are you doing?! You're supposed to be with Justin.
Harper: I panicked.
Alex: (hiding)
Justin: (to Max) Max, did you see Juliet go by?
Harper: (comes out from hiding)
Alex: Psst!
Harper: (goes to Alex)
Alex: What are you doing?! You're supposed to be with Justin.
Harper: I panicked.
TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Justin: (to Harper) That wasn't for Juliet. It was for you Harper. Thank you.
Harper: No problem.
Justin: (pulls out his wand) Transfix, transpose. Make Harper look like herself again including the clothes.
Harper: (transforms back to herself again) Thank you. And when you kissed me I was Juliet so Zeke doesn't have to know about this.
Harper: No problem.
Justin: (pulls out his wand) Transfix, transpose. Make Harper look like herself again including the clothes.
Harper: (transforms back to herself again) Thank you. And when you kissed me I was Juliet so Zeke doesn't have to know about this.
TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Harper: (to Max) So, how'd it go?
Max: Pretty good. I ate squirrel, made some new enemies...it was a regular day.
Harper: (to Justin) So, how'd it go? (Justin ignores her) (to Alex) How'd it go? Was it Mason?
Alex: Yes. It was him. But he's being held by some country wizards who grow corn by their beds and have a son with one shoe!
Harper: Oh, good, I thought you were going to say something crazy!
Max: Pretty good. I ate squirrel, made some new enemies...it was a regular day.
Harper: (to Justin) So, how'd it go? (Justin ignores her) (to Alex) How'd it go? Was it Mason?
Alex: Yes. It was him. But he's being held by some country wizards who grow corn by their beds and have a son with one shoe!
Harper: Oh, good, I thought you were going to say something crazy!
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Alex: I can't believe it. My true love is a wolf again! And the fact that I have to use "again" at the end of that sentence just shows how messed up our lives really are.
TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Justin: There's gotta be a better way of doing this. Maybe there's a wand app. (picks up wand and scrolls through apps) Restaurant Locator...Spell Calculator...Ooh! Here's an application to turn my wand into a light saber! (Justin and Max turn their wands into light sabers and duel) Max! I am your brother!
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Justin: Alright, guys, it looks like we're going back to that old trailer in the middle of nowhere to find some magical instruments that'll turn your boyfriend human again. (pauses) You're right, our lives are messed up.
TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Justin: (to Mason, who is in wolf form and is howling) What is it, boy? What are you trying to tell us? Is there trouble at the old mill?
TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Zeke: (after Mason turns back into human) Did you guys see that? DID YOU SEE THAT! He was all 'hello love' blahblaeghblaheghblah! WHAT IS GOING ON?!
Justin: : Uh, well I totally understand the confusion with the blahhehhblah uh, i got-Max?
Max: Oh, now you want my help?
Zeke: Would someone please tell me what is going on, because I just saw your pet sled dog from Greenland, who lives in a veggie cooler, turn into a HALF-HUMAN HALF-BEAR HAIRY CREATURE THING!! WHAT IS GOING ON?!! I DESERVE SOME ANSWERS!!
Harper: (kisses him and he faints)
Justin: : Uh, well I totally understand the confusion with the blahhehhblah uh, i got-Max?
Max: Oh, now you want my help?
Zeke: Would someone please tell me what is going on, because I just saw your pet sled dog from Greenland, who lives in a veggie cooler, turn into a HALF-HUMAN HALF-BEAR HAIRY CREATURE THING!! WHAT IS GOING ON?!! I DESERVE SOME ANSWERS!!
Harper: (kisses him and he faints)
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Alex: Mason, I'm sorry. What we have is so much stronger than any of that superficial stuff. The most important thing to me is that you're back and we're together. I love you, no matter what.
Mason: I don't know if I can believe you.
Alex: Then let me prove it.
Mason: How?
Alex: The same way people have been doing it for centuries now. By slow dancing to a romantic pop song.
Mason: I don't know if I can believe you.
Alex: Then let me prove it.
Mason: How?
Alex: The same way people have been doing it for centuries now. By slow dancing to a romantic pop song.
TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Jerry: I know how much is in the register! AND I EXPECT IT TO BE THERE WHEN I GET BACK!
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(Justin walks into the cell after being up for examination)
Justin: I brought a...hamburger. (Max takes it out of his hands and starts eating it)
Alex: They gave Justin a hamburger, he must have rolled over! What did you tell them?!
Jerry: Did you tell them we're you-know-whats?!?! (Justin nods. Alex and Jerry gasp in shock)
Theresa: Did they let you use the bathroom? WAS IT WORTH IT?
Justin: I brought a...hamburger. (Max takes it out of his hands and starts eating it)
Alex: They gave Justin a hamburger, he must have rolled over! What did you tell them?!
Jerry: Did you tell them we're you-know-whats?!?! (Justin nods. Alex and Jerry gasp in shock)
Theresa: Did they let you use the bathroom? WAS IT WORTH IT?
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Harper: Somebody took the Russo's! I think they're from the government.
Mason: Oh my. I'll get Professor Crumbs. He'll know what to do! (think for a minute) Well, he might not, but at least I'll look like a hero for notifying him!
Harper: Wha-Wait! What should I do while you're gone?
Mason: Just stay here. That's what heroes say. I'll be back in a jiffy. [walks into to portal]
Harper: [once Mason is gone] What kind of hero says 'jiffy'?
Mason: Oh my. I'll get Professor Crumbs. He'll know what to do! (think for a minute) Well, he might not, but at least I'll look like a hero for notifying him!
Harper: Wha-Wait! What should I do while you're gone?
Mason: Just stay here. That's what heroes say. I'll be back in a jiffy. [walks into to portal]
Harper: [once Mason is gone] What kind of hero says 'jiffy'?
TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Alex: Mason! How did they catch you?
Mason: I was admiring myself in the mirror with this hat on when they snuck up behind me.
Alex: How does someone sneak up behind you while you're looking in a mirror?
Mason: Well, I was very much admiring my hat.
Mason: I was admiring myself in the mirror with this hat on when they snuck up behind me.
Alex: How does someone sneak up behind you while you're looking in a mirror?
Mason: Well, I was very much admiring my hat.
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Alex: Quick, pick a color!
Justin: Chartreuse.
Alex: Pick a SHORTER color!
Justin: Chartreuse.
Alex: Pick a SHORTER color!
TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Alex: [on Mason's back and jumps off] Whew, we're back. Hm, long walk!
Mason: [breathing heavily] Yep! For some of us it was!
Alex: Excuse me! My arms are tired from hanging on and trying to steer. Your ears are really tiny but really cute. [smiles]
Mason: [smiles and rubs his ear]
Justin: While we were stuck in that government facility I was afraid I would never see Waverly Place again. I missed you. [kisses the ground] There's definitely a horse parade here recently.
Jerry: [exhausted] I must have lost thirty pounds on that walk. Do you know how long it's going to take me to gain them back?
Justin: Why is the Sub Station all boarded up?
Theresa: Oh gosh. I gotta get in there! I wanna take a bath without someone yelling at me, "Hey lady, get out of my pool!" [bangs on the door]
Harper: Go away government agents! I have a soda gun and its loaded with root beer!
Jerry: Harper, it's us! We escaped from the government guys!
Harper: I'm not falling for that! The real Russos are too lame to escape from anywhere.
Alex: Harper!!! [bangs on the door] Open up!! We'd flash in there but we don't have our powers. We only got back by hitching rides, taking buses, and a lot of walking.
Mason: [whips his head to her] YOU DIDN'T WALK AT ALL!!! YOU HAD ME CARRY YOU LIKE A CAMEL!!! [smiles] Love.
Harper: Too lazy to walk? Oh Alex it really is you! All right, hold on. I'll let you in. I just have to dismantle a bunch of booby traps I set up to protect myself.
Mason: [breathing heavily] Yep! For some of us it was!
Alex: Excuse me! My arms are tired from hanging on and trying to steer. Your ears are really tiny but really cute. [smiles]
Mason: [smiles and rubs his ear]
Justin: While we were stuck in that government facility I was afraid I would never see Waverly Place again. I missed you. [kisses the ground] There's definitely a horse parade here recently.
Jerry: [exhausted] I must have lost thirty pounds on that walk. Do you know how long it's going to take me to gain them back?
Justin: Why is the Sub Station all boarded up?
Theresa: Oh gosh. I gotta get in there! I wanna take a bath without someone yelling at me, "Hey lady, get out of my pool!" [bangs on the door]
Harper: Go away government agents! I have a soda gun and its loaded with root beer!
Jerry: Harper, it's us! We escaped from the government guys!
Harper: I'm not falling for that! The real Russos are too lame to escape from anywhere.
Alex: Harper!!! [bangs on the door] Open up!! We'd flash in there but we don't have our powers. We only got back by hitching rides, taking buses, and a lot of walking.
Mason: [whips his head to her] YOU DIDN'T WALK AT ALL!!! YOU HAD ME CARRY YOU LIKE A CAMEL!!! [smiles] Love.
Harper: Too lazy to walk? Oh Alex it really is you! All right, hold on. I'll let you in. I just have to dismantle a bunch of booby traps I set up to protect myself.
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Harper: Hi guys.
Theresa: [walks into the Sub Station] It's so good to be home! (gets hit from one of the traps) Ah! (falls down)
Harper: Oops. I forgot to get rid of that one.
Theresa: [walks into the Sub Station] It's so good to be home! (gets hit from one of the traps) Ah! (falls down)
Harper: Oops. I forgot to get rid of that one.
TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Theresa: You think they'd want anything to do with us anymore? You guys don't even have your powers. You're nothing without them. Nothing. (puts on the ice pack)
Justin: Guys come on. There's something wrong with the portal.
Justin: Guys come on. There's something wrong with the portal.
TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Justin: I can't contact anybody in the Wizard World. I've tried WizCom, WizPhone, WizText, and just straight up yelling into the thing. (opens portal door) Hello! Are you listening?
Mason: Nothing but a WizEcho.
Alex: (snorts) It's just a regular echo, Mason. We don't put "wiz" in front of everything.
Jerry: Look! The Wizmergency Wizlight is on! That means the powers are still down. Oh no, the government must have captured everyone.
Alex: This is bad. That means they still have Professor Crumbs too. (goes in the restaurant kitchen and goes on the phone) Hello? I'd like to speak with the officer in charge.
Jerry: What are you doing?
Alex: I'm calling the police. We have to do something to save the Wizard World. Hello officer yes I'd like to report-
Justin: (grabs phone) That you are doing a great job. Yep. Keep it up. Love ya! (hangs up phone) Alex! What were you gonna tell them?
Alex: (trying not to laugh) Not that I love them.
Justin: People don't hear it enough. Alex, you know you can't reveal magic.
Max: Even I know that. That's why I just make people think I'm dumb. So if I slip up they'd figure, "Ah that kid's an idiot." I slip up all the time so...who's dumb now?
Jerry: Alex, you can't call the police. We just need to lay low for awhile until this blows over and do nothing.
Alex: The wizard world is captured and you want us to do nothing? Fine. (goes upstairs)
Theresa: The one time we ask the laziest girl on Earth to do nothing, she wants to do something!
Mason: I'm just happy she didn't ask me to carry her up the stairs.
Mason: Nothing but a WizEcho.
Alex: (snorts) It's just a regular echo, Mason. We don't put "wiz" in front of everything.
Jerry: Look! The Wizmergency Wizlight is on! That means the powers are still down. Oh no, the government must have captured everyone.
Alex: This is bad. That means they still have Professor Crumbs too. (goes in the restaurant kitchen and goes on the phone) Hello? I'd like to speak with the officer in charge.
Jerry: What are you doing?
Alex: I'm calling the police. We have to do something to save the Wizard World. Hello officer yes I'd like to report-
Justin: (grabs phone) That you are doing a great job. Yep. Keep it up. Love ya! (hangs up phone) Alex! What were you gonna tell them?
Alex: (trying not to laugh) Not that I love them.
Justin: People don't hear it enough. Alex, you know you can't reveal magic.
Max: Even I know that. That's why I just make people think I'm dumb. So if I slip up they'd figure, "Ah that kid's an idiot." I slip up all the time so...who's dumb now?
Jerry: Alex, you can't call the police. We just need to lay low for awhile until this blows over and do nothing.
Alex: The wizard world is captured and you want us to do nothing? Fine. (goes upstairs)
Theresa: The one time we ask the laziest girl on Earth to do nothing, she wants to do something!
Mason: I'm just happy she didn't ask me to carry her up the stairs.
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Alex: Attention! Attention everyone! Listen, I know you're all here because I told you that Lady GaGa would be on a motorcycle jumping over a shark tank (Mason makes hand gestures and whooshing sounds) Yes, okay but that was just a front to get you here. There's something much more important.
Reporter: What can be more important than GaGa?
Alex: The government has unfairly taken an entire population of Wizards hostage. I know because I'm a wizard too.
Mason: (makes "Ta-da! Here she is!" gesture)
Reporter: What can be more important than GaGa?
Alex: The government has unfairly taken an entire population of Wizards hostage. I know because I'm a wizard too.
Mason: (makes "Ta-da! Here she is!" gesture)
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Theresa: Alex!
Jerry: What are you doing? (to the press) This is a prank. You can all go now. Sorry!
Press: (starts to walk off mumbling in agreement)
Alex: No! It's true! Look! Those are my bothers! They're wizards too!
Mason: And I'm a werewolf! Grr! Hiss! Grr!
Jerry: What are you doing? (to the press) This is a prank. You can all go now. Sorry!
Press: (starts to walk off mumbling in agreement)
Alex: No! It's true! Look! Those are my bothers! They're wizards too!
Mason: And I'm a werewolf! Grr! Hiss! Grr!
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(after the judge brings in a crystal ball)
Jerry: We're gonna watch TV? Oh, now I really wish they had a food court. I can't watch TV without a corn dog.
Theresa: (grabs her purse and pulls out a corn dog in a bag) Here, I was saving it to keep you quiet at church...just eat it. (she gives it to him and he takes a bite of it)
Jerry: We're gonna watch TV? Oh, now I really wish they had a food court. I can't watch TV without a corn dog.
Theresa: (grabs her purse and pulls out a corn dog in a bag) Here, I was saving it to keep you quiet at church...just eat it. (she gives it to him and he takes a bite of it)
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Alex: Seriously, I get a lawyer named Mr. Loser? What's your first name?
Mr. Loser: It's Big Time.
Alex: Big Time Loser?! Come on!
Mr. Loser: It's Big Time.
Alex: Big Time Loser?! Come on!
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Professor Crumbs: Game, set and match. I'm off to tennis. (flashes away)
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Theresa: CUCUYS! I PROMISE I'LL BEHAVE MAMA! I'M SORRY! [continues screaming and runs upstairs]
TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Justin: What was she saying?
Max: It sounded like she was ordering a number four from Fiesta Express.
Max: It sounded like she was ordering a number four from Fiesta Express.
TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place