Xena - Warrior Princess Quotes
Xena: Borias was a very wise man. He found his way a lot sooner than I did. But I didn't kill him. I ordered him captured, unharmed, and I don't know what happened.
TV Show: Xena - Warrior Princess
Crone: You saved our temple. Name your reward. If it’s ours to bestow, it’s yours
Xena: Reward-- for what? For killing a boy barely out of his childhood? I don’t want a reward; I want that boy’s life back. By the gods, I wish I’d never followed the sword in the first place.
Xena: Reward-- for what? For killing a boy barely out of his childhood? I don’t want a reward; I want that boy’s life back. By the gods, I wish I’d never followed the sword in the first place.
TV Show: Xena - Warrior Princess
Maphias: You tell me. First, it was Cortese’s attack, then the town’s reconstruction. I’m warning you, Xena. You keep putting me off like this, and I’m liable to give up-- in ten or fifteen years.
TV Show: Xena - Warrior Princess
Gabrielle: You know you'd think she'd mention that her friend was taller than most pine trees.
TV Show: Xena - Warrior Princess
Xena: Find a way to make him presentable, and then we'll leave.
Joxer: Wait a minute. What did she mean, make you presentable?
Orpheus: She doesn't want me to look like you
Joxer: Wait a minute. What did she mean, make you presentable?
Orpheus: She doesn't want me to look like you
TV Show: Xena - Warrior Princess
Callisto: I say before I kill you, I'm going to make you squeal like a pig, you fat pathetic piece of dung.
TV Show: Xena - Warrior Princess
Callisto: You know I don't drink intoxicants, Theodorus. I like to experience life in all its agonizing glory. I don't want to dull the sensation in any way.
TV Show: Xena - Warrior Princess
Callisto: Your not falling in love with me, are you?
Theodorus : Well what if I was?
Callisto: I'd have to kill you. Love is a trick that nature plays to get us to reproduce. I want no part of it.
Theodorus : Well what if I was?
Callisto: I'd have to kill you. Love is a trick that nature plays to get us to reproduce. I want no part of it.
TV Show: Xena - Warrior Princess
Agis: Let me remind you of reality, Meg. You’re a filthy tramp that I fished out of the gutter because you look like Xena and Diana. You’re useful to me only if you’re a convincing thespian.
Meg: You never said nothing about no kinky stuff. Besides, I pulled it off so far today.
Meg: You never said nothing about no kinky stuff. Besides, I pulled it off so far today.
TV Show: Xena - Warrior Princess
Joxer: Wait wait wait...How am I supposed to know who the real Diana is?
Xena: Well if you come across a woman and she looks exactly like me and she displays any interest in you whatsoever as a man, that's the bad one.
Joxer: She is bad! Real bad...
Xena: Well if you come across a woman and she looks exactly like me and she displays any interest in you whatsoever as a man, that's the bad one.
Joxer: She is bad! Real bad...
TV Show: Xena - Warrior Princess
Meg: Hold it right there. In the blink of an eye I can split the skull of anyone who moves with my trusty...shamrock!
TV Show: Xena - Warrior Princess
Callisto: Do you know how boring Tartarus can be. Same old torture everyday, everyday.
TV Show: Xena - Warrior Princess
Callisto/Xena: Look into my eyes old woman, Xena's not home.
Cyrene: Who are you?
Callisto/Xena: Just another loving daughter.
Cyrene: Who are you?
Callisto/Xena: Just another loving daughter.
TV Show: Xena - Warrior Princess
Xena/Callisto: A long time ago you told me the cycle of hate has to end and the only way to end it is through love. It's a hard lesson to learn. Callisto couldn't possibly know or understand that.
TV Show: Xena - Warrior Princess
Xena/Callisto: 'Cause when you think of the dead...
Callisto's Mother: ...the dead can hear you.
Callisto's Mother: ...the dead can hear you.
TV Show: Xena - Warrior Princess
Ares: Pain! So that's what it feels like. Not so bad really.
Gabrielle: Oh ya like it, huh? Well there's plenty more where that came from.
Gabrielle: Oh ya like it, huh? Well there's plenty more where that came from.
TV Show: Xena - Warrior Princess
Xena: Are you alright?
Ares: I've been hanged, swung over a fire and nearly shishkabobed on razor sharp spikes! How do you mortals get from day to day?
Ares: I've been hanged, swung over a fire and nearly shishkabobed on razor sharp spikes! How do you mortals get from day to day?
TV Show: Xena - Warrior Princess
Gabrielle: Well-- what? Oh. I don’t have a gift for you.
Xena: Gabrielle, you are a gift to me
Xena: Gabrielle, you are a gift to me
TV Show: Xena - Warrior Princess
Janice: Now, that’s no way to treat a lady. Run along now, boys. I don’t have time to play.
TV Show: Xena - Warrior Princess
Xena: Now, you listen to me. Gabrielle was never useless. She cared for others more than herself
TV Show: Xena - Warrior Princess
Salmoneus: Xena! I was just talking about you! Sort of.
Xena: Beauty contest!! You sent urgent word for us to see some underdressed, overdeveloped bimbos in a beauty contest!
Xena: Beauty contest!! You sent urgent word for us to see some underdressed, overdeveloped bimbos in a beauty contest!
TV Show: Xena - Warrior Princess
Gabrielle: Now why don’t you just cancel the pageant?
Salmoneus: Lord Clairon’s tried that. Each of these guys is so invested in winning, nobody wants to quit first. The way I see it – what we need is a contestant to keep an eye on things from the inside.
Gabrielle: Oh, no, no, no! Don’t even look at me. Now you know how I feel about these women being victimized by meat markets.
Xena: She’s right. But war makes everyone a victim. So… meet Miss Amphipolis.
Salmoneus: Lord Clairon’s tried that. Each of these guys is so invested in winning, nobody wants to quit first. The way I see it – what we need is a contestant to keep an eye on things from the inside.
Gabrielle: Oh, no, no, no! Don’t even look at me. Now you know how I feel about these women being victimized by meat markets.
Xena: She’s right. But war makes everyone a victim. So… meet Miss Amphipolis.
TV Show: Xena - Warrior Princess
Crassus: This isn't about Vircinix, is it?
Xena: Go on, tell us
Crassus: Assassination ... Caesar's blood on your blade ... this is you way of getting to him.
Gabrielle: You're wrong.
Crassus: Am I? Have you ever seen Xena around him? Her judgement gets a little impaired.
Xena: Go on, tell us
Crassus: Assassination ... Caesar's blood on your blade ... this is you way of getting to him.
Gabrielle: You're wrong.
Crassus: Am I? Have you ever seen Xena around him? Her judgement gets a little impaired.
TV Show: Xena - Warrior Princess
Caesar: Xena. This is impossible, how can you...This is Rome, you can't...you...
Xena: There's a sentence there just dying to get out.
Xena: There's a sentence there just dying to get out.
TV Show: Xena - Warrior Princess
Xena: Looking for this? Now I want some straight answers.
Miss Artifice: you’ve got the wrong girl. Okay, okay, I was just kidding where’s you’re sense of humor?
Xena: Gee, I must have sweated it out. That you idea of funny too?
Artifice: I was just trying to scare you.
Xena: Why did you want to scare me?
Artifice: because I knew you knew. You know about me. And I didn’t want you telling anyone. But when I came back to unlock the door, you had already gone.
Xena: What made you think I would tell.
Artifice: You really don’t get it do you? I guess being born a woman, you wouldn’t. This is a chance for me to use a part of me most people usually laugh at. Or worse. The part I usually have to hide. Only here, that part works for me, see?
Xena: I don’t think so.
Artifice: Look, I don’t expect you to understand. And I’m sorry I got you steamed, I just hope you’ll let me quit the pageant in private instead of going public with it.
Xena: No way. May the best person win.
Miss Artifice: you’ve got the wrong girl. Okay, okay, I was just kidding where’s you’re sense of humor?
Xena: Gee, I must have sweated it out. That you idea of funny too?
Artifice: I was just trying to scare you.
Xena: Why did you want to scare me?
Artifice: because I knew you knew. You know about me. And I didn’t want you telling anyone. But when I came back to unlock the door, you had already gone.
Xena: What made you think I would tell.
Artifice: You really don’t get it do you? I guess being born a woman, you wouldn’t. This is a chance for me to use a part of me most people usually laugh at. Or worse. The part I usually have to hide. Only here, that part works for me, see?
Xena: I don’t think so.
Artifice: Look, I don’t expect you to understand. And I’m sorry I got you steamed, I just hope you’ll let me quit the pageant in private instead of going public with it.
Xena: No way. May the best person win.
TV Show: Xena - Warrior Princess
Gabrielle: This is sabotage!
Xena: Gabrielle, it’s just a bad dress.
Gabrielle: Bad dress? Xena, Chiffon is bad. Chartreuse is bad. But this is a disaster. You will be eliminated half way down the catwalk.
Xena: Calm down. Look, if it really bothers you, I’ll fix it. [Cuts dress]
Xena: Gabrielle, it’s just a bad dress.
Gabrielle: Bad dress? Xena, Chiffon is bad. Chartreuse is bad. But this is a disaster. You will be eliminated half way down the catwalk.
Xena: Calm down. Look, if it really bothers you, I’ll fix it. [Cuts dress]
TV Show: Xena - Warrior Princess
Xena: Trust me, you don’t want to make me angry.
Clairon: Oh, on the contrary. I’m looking forward to it.
Xena: Okay. Are we having fun yet? Oops. Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful.
Clairon: Oh, on the contrary. I’m looking forward to it.
Xena: Okay. Are we having fun yet? Oops. Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful.
TV Show: Xena - Warrior Princess
Gabrielle: So Miss Known World is a man?
Xena: Yep.
Gabrielle: That’s kind of funny, huh?
Xena: Why? Beauty is beauty.
Gabrielle: And peace is peace.
Xena: Are you going to write about this?
Gabrielle: Oh, yes. I was thinking about calling it “Queen for a –
Xena: Gabrielle.
Gabrielle: “What a drag –
Xena: Gabrielle!
Gabrielle: Okay, okay.
Xena: Yep.
Gabrielle: That’s kind of funny, huh?
Xena: Why? Beauty is beauty.
Gabrielle: And peace is peace.
Xena: Are you going to write about this?
Gabrielle: Oh, yes. I was thinking about calling it “Queen for a –
Xena: Gabrielle.
Gabrielle: “What a drag –
Xena: Gabrielle!
Gabrielle: Okay, okay.
TV Show: Xena - Warrior Princess